theodxrepark - Tumblr blog

[theodxrepark]

avcrys·:

quite a lot had happened in the past few days. the chastity club, in general, had been under their fair share of duress. but it had never been jack’s business to know, or to figure out how to deal with the customer end of their operation. he and people like edward greene were only tied to each other by proxy. even when he eventually met his demise ( which he would, jack might as well have known that for fact ), jack would never even have spoken to ed in years.

so he showed up at the warehouse like he always did, took care of his plants like nothing of note had even happened. a tightly wrapped joint hung from his lip ( usually he was a pipe man, but not for his own strains ), and he wound through the aisles of the space doing as he normally did.

enter, theo — there to throw jack a curveball, as he usually did.

“hey…” he started, plucking the joint from his mouth and exhaling the smoke offsides. “i normally try to avoid cliches when i can, but this is a surprise. are you… er, what’s up?”

@theodxrepark·

.

theo’s a perpetually anxious person on principle, but when he gets the news about edward greene, he has to hold himself back from shaking. theo’s stayed in the club for as long as he has because they work, because there are no major inconveniences or chinks in their armor. they’re supposed to be invincible, and the thought that they’re not, that one entiled rich prick can bring them down, is enough to make him sick. so he stands up right then and there in the middle of his differential geometry course, mutters a quick but vague excuse, and rushes out the door.

he has no destination in mind when he starts walking, but he realizes he’s pacing in the direction of the greenhouse. he debates turning back, but another part of him knows he needs to talk to this with someone (and to his credit, no one quite knows how to listen to theo like jack does).

and yet, he’s left staring at jack a bit incredulously as the question leaves his mouth. “what’s up?” he repeats. “oh, i don’t know, jack. it’s a bit chilly out today, i’ve got a quiz tomorrow i definitely need to study some more for, there’s a pipe leaking in my apartment’s bathroom, and oh - oh! - edward fucking greene is going to land us all in jail.” he shakes his head, starts walking back and forth along the length of the greenhouse. “or maybe that’s not entirely correct, is it? edward green is going to land me in jail, but the rest of you will come out just fine. because, you know, god forbid the heir of the avery tobacco fortune does any time behind bars. but me? i can’t just donate a library and call things even if things go sour. i don’t even think i can afford a decent lawyer.” rather than try to calm down, his words and walking both only pick up speed. “maybe it doesn’t have to be all bad. books are on the approved list of gifts to send someone in jail. if i leave a long list of novels i’ve been meaning to get through, can you make sure someone sends me a new one monthly? no, screw it, biweekly. it’s not like i’ll be doing much else.” he finally stops, fixates his gaze on jack, takes a deep breath. “can i get a hit of that?” he asks, nodding to the joint in jack’s hand.

[theodxrepark]

laurxlbern​:

the blonde continued on making her drink as the boy consoled the girl she had spilt her drink on, her gaze flicking up every now and then to watch the exchange. in retrospect, it probably should have been laurel comforting the girl, seeing as this was all her fault, but she didn’t really care to waste her time on sensitive bitches these days. when the girl finally stalked off to the washroom, laurel lifted her freshly made drink to her lips, her eyes meeting those of theo’s over the rim of her glass. 

a playful smirk stretched across her lips as she met his gaze, her shoulders lifting in a shrug at his words, eyes rolling — her usual response to theo’s lectures. “ i think i handled it great. ” she said, leaning forward on the sticky counter so her elbows rested upon it, ignoring the fact that she would probably have to de-cement them in a moment. again, she rolled her eyes at the boy. “ once again, you’re proving that you think too highly of me, my dear theo. don’t you know this is who i am? ” she asked, emphasis on the last few words. she wasn’t sure why the boy had such high hopes in her, and quite frankly, it annoyed her. “ i was just trying to bring some spice to an otherwise boring party. ” she said with a shrug, pure innocence twinkling in her bright blue eyes.

.

it’s not like theo is the paradigm of responsibility. with twelve different things teetering on his shoulders at all time, it’s not uncommon for him to miss things, forget details, let facts slip between the cracks. it’s also not uncommon for him to deal with those pressures through artificial means, whether it be with whatever drug is in cam’s outstretched palm or the libations served at chastity club parties like this. the difference, though - the big, shining difference between the way he and laurel erode away at themselves - is that theo keeps things contained. never disenfranchising other people, never making a mess, never making his problems the problems of others too. laurel, however, is one-part girl and two-parts hurricane, and so maybe theo wanting to see her change is a lost cause. 

doesn’t stop him from trying, though. “socrates tells us that virtue is knowledge,” he corrects her. “which is to say that good habits are taught and not inherent. so in theory, if i keep telling you not to pour drinks on innocent civilians, one day it’ll stick.” he reaches past laurel to grab some paper towels, starting to pat the counter dry from laurel’s destruction. “if the party’s so boring, why are you so adament on staying?” he asks. “i’m sure there’s plenty of other things you can think of doing on a charming autumn night.” 

[theodxrepark]

[theodxrepark]

byfikkirisilay·:

The weekend’s festivities had left Fikkir feeling just a little worse for wear. As much was evident to anybody that knew her in the way she’d opted to wear yoga pants and sneakers to class, with a cosy sweatshirt on top. The hood of her sweatshirt was slightly bunched around her neck, keeping it warm as she sipped from a takeout cup half-full of lemon black tea, ghostly tendrils of steam still rising from the liquid inside. 

“Well, nobody died, nobody was arrested, as far as I can tell nobody is missing and nothing was irreparably destroyed or stolen,” she mused thoughtfully, her words directed at the person keeping her company while her eyes remained on her phone for the most part as she scrolled through her Instagram feed, admiring pictures from the party. She looked at her companion now, “I’d call that a wild success, wouldn’t you?” she has her own opinion but she was also looking for anything that might challenge it. If there were any issues that she didn’t know about, anything that could come back to bite them in the following days, she needed to know and she needed to fix it as soon as possible but she didn’t want to appear even the slightest bit shaken by the thought.

.

those who know him best recognize that the best way to tell how theo’s day is going is to look at his hair, and today it’s a mess, splayed in twelve different directions in a way that clearly hasn’t seen a comb in days. after leaving the halloween party in the early hours of the next morning, theo had crawled across campus in the bitter october cold to his apartment, where he had slept for a pathetic two hours before waking back up to dig into homework. the rest of the weekend hadn’t yielded him much more peace, sleep coming in haphazard three-hour intervals as he plowed through equations and differentials in preparation for monday's deadlines.

so he sits in front of fikkir now, swaying a little as he clutches his coffee and looks more corpse than student with the dark circles under his eyes. he’s considering passing out right then and there, just collapsing on his textbook and hoping fikks makes sure nobody draws anything too offensive on his face, but before he can consider that much further fikkir is saying something. asking him something. something he has to reply to. theo’s exhausted mind catches up to all of this a second too late, but then he’s nodding, leaning forward to respond. “i mean, i leant a girl my sweater and i seriously doubt at this point that i’ll ever see it again, so that was a pretty big loss,” he says. he doesn’t bother mentioning why the girl took his sweater, or anything about the commotion laurel stirred up that lead to it. “but petty theft aside, it was relatively tame. how are the reviews?” he nods, referencing the photos fikkir is looking through of the night on her phone. “at least a 4/5 on yelp?”

[theodxrepark]

avcrys·:

“it was what it was.” he said inexplicably, wearing a sheepish half-smile. “mostly i just walked around a lot. downtown, in museums, in markets. not any canyons to speak of except for maybe yosemite. but i’d been there before.” leave it to jack to make something like traveling the country sound like standard procedure. the truth was it was a hopeful attempt at spending the summer away from his family without them catching on. nothing more, nothing less. but mostly it had been a lingering reminder that he was, in fact, traveling alone. at least back home — amidst the scathing critiques and dinner plates flung — there was company. substance.

he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “it was nice, but i’m not about to go writing some great american novel about it. teddy roosevelt would probably be disappointed, but he’s also dead, so.” jack took another sip from his wine, and came to find that he’d hit the bottom.

he re-set his sights back on theo with a sigh. a detached smile forced its way onto his lips. “are you enjoying yourself tonight?” he asked, the thought seeming to come to him for the first time. “i can’t speak for the strangers around tonight, but this doesn’t seem like everyone’s usual scene.” everyone, that was to say, chastity club. and it wasn’t actually an observation jack knew to be fact more than it was a thin attempt at asking theo about his night without having to commit to it.

.

“yosemite.” he snaps his fingers to remember what he’s deemed useful about it, sifting through the files of useless american trivia cataloged neatly in his brain (most of which he, admittedly, picked up only to impress jack during their time together). “oh, right! that’s the one with the supervolcano that’s going to erupt and make america unlivable. that’s so exciting for you guys, i’ve always thought the concept of dying in my sleep kind of painfully anticlimactic. incinerating to death, though? really feels like you’re training for something. i’d love to die via supervolcano. or rather, i’d lava to die via supervolcano.” he smiles softly at his own joke, thinking privately that yes, maybe having someone to toss the english language around with had its perks.

his eyes widen a bit at the question directed at him, a simple ask but one that makes theo pause nonetheless. because the truth is not really sure if he is enjoying himself tonight, cramped in this holy place with a bunch of people he’s never seen before and will see again. and he doesn’t know if he’s even having much fun in this particular moment, talking to jack and having to feign casualty about their whole situation. he goes with the safe answer though, just shrugs and waves vaguely into the air as if to say ‘oh, you know’. “i don’t think it’s my favorite place to be on a nice autumn night, but it’s also not something i could see on the list of medieval torture methods,” he says nonchalantly. “i’m mostly just miserable because i keep thinking about the homework i’m going to have to do tomorrow morning, all sleep-deprived and headached. i’ve got this one part of my applied functional analysis problem set that i just cannot solve, but it’s due on sunday night, so until then i’m just standing here haunted by the fact that i still don’t know the answer

he shakes it off, though the thought lingers in the back of his mind, situated next to all the other omnipresent things that stress him out. “but it’s not like i can leave before everyone else gets out of here first. just gotta stand around and radiate my holiest, most pious energy.” he’s about to go on a tangent about how, while they’re on the topic, euthyphro was interestingly enough never able to define piety, but theo’s own words remind him of something else first. “speaking of which, that’s your whole shtick now, isn’t it? holy and pious energy? do you and jesus over there have matching purity rings?”

[theodxrepark]

stcxmille·:

camille nearly topples over herself trying to get near theodore, bright orange shirt and complete lack of frills in his costume making him stand out quite a bit in the crowd. not that it was a bad thing, nay, he looked adorable. though camille thinks, as she approaches, that she could’ve, metaphorically speaking, pimped up that ride. what was he supposed to be, anyway? a halloween-y lampshade, or perhaps a street sign? well, better ask than assume. well, ask she could, but a reply wouldn’t necessarily come. theodore seemed to be deep in thought, staring aimlessly in the distance. knowing him, as little as she did, he was probably thinking of maths. or whatever it was exceptionally bright people like theo did. camille certainly couldn’t relate. her own thoughts ran amok, spitfire children, wandering in every which direction with no intention of stopping. it was hard to keep up, but she focused on theo, trying to catch his attention. with a swift wave in front of his face, he finally noticed her. 

“a pumpkin pi,” she snorted, affectionate, “you nerd, my god. i’m an alien, in case you haven’t noticed. i’m informing the masses that disclosure is imminent. you heard about the unclassified files from the fbi this week? real spooky stuff, right in season. exciting as hell. anyway, i don’t really care for jay man myself. i played enough zombie survival games to know how to deal with this shit, so if he comes, i just book it. never be a hero, my sweets, you seen zombieland?” babbling, she reached for his hand, taking it in her own, “yes, drink! i do want one, as well. what do you feel like, shots or a fancy cocktail? drinks on me tonight. i won’t hear no for an answer.”

.

“i - and i say this with affection - but i have no idea what the hell you’re talking about. what are they disclosing? and why is it imminent?” he furrows his eyebrows, hoping for an explanation, not unfamiliar with the feeling of being completely puzzled by what camille goes on about. for all his knowledge about number theory and mankind’s greatest thinkers, talking with camille is what keeps theo humble, reminding him that he can’t keep up with her various oddities and strangely specific references. even now, he’s being reminded that he doesn’t have a clue about what he’ll do in the event of a zombie apocalypse, and the realization makes him oddly insecure (but then again, what doesn’t). “uh, no, i haven’t seen zombieland, and i can’t say i’ve made a comprehensive plan for the return of said zombies. is that something i should get on? and would you say it’s more or less urgent than the homework i have due on monday? just a general risk assessment, from your corner of expertise.” 

he’s only really thought out the concept of drinks to the point of ‘i shouldn’t be this sober’, but now that he’s being asked follow up questions, they’re coming a bit harder to him. “i don’t have a preference, really. if you’re dolling them out then whatever you’re feeling up to. just maybe nothing too serious, i’ve got a long night ahead of me and i probably can’t be incoherent through all of it.”

[theodxrepark]

kdramabc​:

Nam Joo Hyuk - Bazaar June

[theodxrepark]

laurxlbern·:

laurel had been spending far too much time in churches lately. she remembered the first time she stepped into one upon her arrival in paris, her mind reeling with the idea that she was surely to burn up as soon as she passed the threshold, all her sins consuming her body in satan’s white hot flames. so, she was rather surprised when she took her first step inside and did not immediately crumble into a pile of ash. instead, she was greeted with smiles and friendly welcomes from the members inside, warming even her cold heart. she took a seat in the pew at the back, her attention weening in and out of focus as the pastor spoke, only hearing his words every few moments before drifting off into her own thoughts again.

of course, tonight was different - there was no sermon here, just the smell of sweat and stale cigarettes as the students of st. margaret mary’s danced their night away, the various costumes shining in the strobing lights. laurel’s own body was covered in red glitter to match the red lingerie she adorned, devil horns placed upon the top of her blonde teased hair, her boots stretching up the length of her thighs. she had been waiting far too long for a drink and with a roll of the eyes and a huff, she heaved herself over the counter and helped herself, pouring a mixture of different liquors into a red crystal glass. it wasn’t long until the drunk party goers were yelling their orders at her, their words going in one ear and out the other. laurel was not here to serve anyone but herself. her annoyance grew as one voice in particular abused her ear drums, clearly not getting the hint that she was doing her best to not answer it. she turned towards it, a fake smile painted across her lips. “ find one of the real bartenders, sweetheart. ” she called over the loud music, continuing to mix her drink. when the voice failed to stop, she rolled her eyes once more before lifting her drink in the air and pouring it straight over their head, a bout of laughter escaping her lungs. “ happy halloween! ” she called, downing a shot she had poured herself previously. 

.

theo scooted over to the bar at some point in the last half hour, where a poor soul had the wrong idea to spark up conversation with him. a casual mention by the guy that he’s studying finance, and theo hasn’t shut up since. “— and so it’s funny, because while economics itself is definitely a made-up science - i mean, what is money, if we really think about it? - the mathematics behind it isn’t man-made at all. early philosophers proved theories about the natural world using mathematics all the time, even something as miniscule as the spirals on a sunflower can be tied to the fibonacci sequence.” he’s about to continue with no sign of stopping, but he’s interrupted by a clatter of noise further down the bar and an all-too familiar culprit behind it. “hold that thought,” theo says to the guy he’s talking with (to which the guy in question probably breathes a sigh of relief once theo’s gone).

he slides past the couple onlookers to get to the center of the scene, where the girl that laurel spilled her drink on looks like she’s about to claw out the blonde’s eyes. “oh no, she absolutely didn’t mean to do that. right, laurel?” he doesn’t let laurel respond for fear of the answer being a resounding ‘yes the fuck i did’, but instead fixates his gaze on the girl soaked in alcohol. “you’re going to be freezing, all wet and cold on an october night. here, i’m wearing layers.” he peels off his orange sweater and hands it to the girl, revealing the white shirt he has on underneath tucked into his brown pants. “go grab some paper towels and dry up, okay? your next drink’s on me, whenever you’re back out.” he gives her his warmest smile, and with a final pat on the back he’s pointing her in the direction of the bathroom where she can get cleaned up. 

then, he spins on his heels and looks back to laurel, eyebrows raised in equal-parts disappointment and expectation. “you understand how that was not the correct way to handle that situation, right? or do i need to delineate it to you? if you’ve got a spare whiteboard i can write you a whole indirect proof on it. here, i’ll get it started. statement: assume you’re annoyed by a girl at the bar. if/then: do not pour a drink all over her and make the situation worse.”

[theodxrepark]

avcrys·:

maybe there was hope after all. theo was offering him peace. a rescinded anger, or at the very least, a rain check on it. jack could deal with that, especially if it meant the watch had been accepted as a gift.

theo was rambling on about it now. watches: their trials, their tribulations. it was cute, jack had always thought it was cute. he knew some part of theo liked to be cut off when he got like this, but jack much preferred to let it go on. it was interesting to watch him think — endless cogs turning, never relenting, not even for a moment. theo had always been brilliant, maybe too much so. jack had a hard time wrapping his hand around someone’s genius like that. he’d go far after st. margaret mary. of course he would.

wordlessly, gingerly, jack helped him put the watch on. it shone under the glittering chapel lights. a relic of an adventure that already felt like eons ago. an adventure that, jack realized, would’ve been much better enjoyed with company. but that was a thought better pushed out of his head. it didn’t serve either of them any good.

“i was right, it suits you.” he said, meeting his gaze. “i’m not usually right about this kinda stuff, but this time i was.” jack let go of his wrist, maybe realizing too late that his grip had been lingering. then, he cleared his throat and offered him a terse smile. “thanks for… accepting it.”

. 

theo watches as the gift gets clipped on, and keeps watching as jack’s hand stays there for a moment too long. he doesn’t address it, of course he doesn’t, but he’ll think about it for the rest of the night, the warm outline of jack’s hand burning softly against his skin. 

for now, he studies the watch on his wrist. maybe it suits him in jack’s eyes, in anyone else’s eyes, but theo can’t help but think of how much it clashes with the rest of his wardrobe. tattered jeans and second-hand sweaters and then this, this bright and shiny thing that puts the rest of his accessories to shame. two different aesthetics, two different worlds, not unlike theo and the rest of the club.

but still, he loves it - the way it reflects the church’s light makes theo feel more important than he is. “i can feel myself turning more american already. give me a levi’s with some red, white, and blue - i’ll be all set,” theo says with a fond look to the accessory. he glances up after another moment, meeting jack’s eyes. “i don’t think i ever told you how i got my name,” he says absentmindedly, not bothering to drop the english. he figures he owes it to jack, his own private thank you, and i mean it. “when my mom got pregnant, they already knew they’d be taking me to london, and they wanted to give me some real posh english name. the title of a royal, george or albert or charles, so that when they sent me off to private school i would sound richer than we were. but the week before my mom gave birth, my dad was reading this book about the american presidents, and he came across the man himself - theodore roosevelt. for whatever reason, my dad became obsessed with roosevelt. or, more specifically, this idea roosevelt had about preservation - about sanctioning off these large chunks of land just to save them in their authentic form. national parks you call them, right? all roosevelt’s invention. but essentially my dad was so set on this man and his national parks that he decided his only child should be named after him. so from theodore roosevelt bloomed theodore park. and after all that, i still have yet to see the great american west with your canyons and prairies and imperialist practices. god damn shame.” theo produces a little half-grin, raising a brow at jack expectantly as he shifts the conversation back to him. “so, tell me cowboy, how was it out there this summer? everything teddy dreamed of and more?”

[theodxrepark]

not to be a math nerd but like. when an equation factors and the result is clean n pure whole numbers ………………. it’s erotic

[theodxrepark]

avcrys·:

the inevitability of time. if their situation wasn’t so sensitive, jack would’ve laughed at that. it was such quintessential theo. and only he could’ve gotten jack using words like ‘quintessential’ in his own thoughts. it was overwhelming sometimes, the influence that theo had on him. the power over him. but as forecasted, things took a sharp turn. and suddenly… suddenly he’s mad at him?

a sigh swelled in jack’s chest. he did his best to stifle it. “i think we tried to live happily ever after already, theo…” he said, despite his better judgement. and it wasn’t lost on him either, that theo had switched back to french. but jack — who knew he would blame this all on the wine tomorrow morning — was unrelenting in his southern english.

he eyed the watch in theo’s palm. it did look good against his complexion. jack knew that it would. but now, instead of feeling excited, he just felt sad. like he’d overstepped with the intention of being a good friend. maybe that just wasn’t in the cards for him. 

“i can take it back if you like —” he offered gently. ‘just tell me what to say here, and i’ll say it’ he thought.

.

theo gives him a monologue while jack replies with a single sentence, but it feels worse than anything theo could have said. especially because, for all the bitterness that theo’s tone held, jack’s manages to be gentle. he looks at theo with soft eyes, something like a wounded animal, and theo thinks that yeah, maybe he was too harsh. “no, sorry, i’m sorry. don’t take it back, it’s really nice. you’re really nice.” 

he doesn’t know how to explain to jack that he’s never been completely comfortable with nice things, that he never learned how to accept them without feeling like he owed someone something (that, more specifically, he doesn’t know what he could possibly give jack in return, with his empty pockets and useless hands). so he leaves it there, hopes jack understands. 

“help me put it on?” he asks in english - a peace treaty disguised as a question. “you’d think that after two hundred years of wristwatches we would figure out how to make one that you can put on easily, just one and done, but instead it’s this whole process. like you have to hold it with one hand but then close the clasp with the other, except you’ve only got one hand available since the other one is supposed to hold the watch, and so you try and balance it or god forbid find something to rest your hand on, which then requires a dreaded flat surface. what a mess, these western contraptions.” he outstretches his palm with the gift, keeping his hand held out with wrist facing up for the watch.

[theodxrepark]

hvnri·:

he could stop him from rambling, like the mercy killings of the racing horses his father used to buy. you have to put them out of their misery, he used to tell henri and his brother, sometimes 

killing is a kindness. that’s how he felt now, watching as theodore rambled on about which math-pun costume he should go with, and henri just stood there, listening intently, showing no signs of stopping him. theodore park was just about the smartest guy henri had ever met, and yet he could never seem to figure out how to carry a normal conversation. and though normally henri would have found it annoying, with theo, he found it sort of endearing. he glances down at the name tag on his sweater, then back up at theodore, brows slightly furrowed in response. “i’d hardly consider him a historical figure,” henri replied, one hand in the pocket of his trousers as he swirled around the liquor in his plastic cup in the other hand, “little shop of horror?” he said, arching a brow, and when theodore showed no signs of realization, he let out a soft sigh. “it’s a musical, alan menkin is the composer.” 

there’s a look of surprise on henri’s face at theo’s remark, but it quickly softens into something of a smug expression. “not a god, theo,” he replies, a smirk on his lips as he raises his cup to take a sip of the whiskey, “not yet at least.” president of the chastity club was a start, he supposed. his first taste of true power. “did you still want to get that drink?” 

.

with one arched eyebrow, henri manages to look like theo just asked the dumbest question he’s heard all week. and okay, sure, maybe that’s not what his facial expressions are trying to convey, but theo fills in the blanks, does the math, and comes up with ‘jesus fuck, why are you like this’. it’s a general sentiment in the back of his mind, but people like henri - brilliant, beautiful, untouchable rich people who speak in prose while theo speaks in circles or squares or maybe pentagrams - always make him feel that much more insecure about what comes out of his mouth. theo says that deviating from this mindset is a work-in-progress, but he’s also not exactly working on it. “yes, right. alan menken. the ‘v for vendetta’ guy.” then, upon reconsideration: “no, nope, incorrect. that’s alan moore. i have, in fact, zero knowledge of alan menken. but his work seems really great, from what you describe. i’m a big fan of little shops, just as like, a concept. i always tell people, you know, shop local and shop small.” 

he wishes briefly that henri were a diety, if only so theo could ask him very nicely to zap him right then and there to get him to stop talking, but like the merciful not-yet-god he is, henri does the equivalent of that by asking to grab a drink. “sure, absolutely. never wanted a drink more. call me gödel's theorem of incompleteness, because i’d be incomplete without one. incomplete was a bit redundant there, yeah? probably could have done with just one of them.” he scratches the back of his head, knowing already that this’ll be a conversation he replays and cringes at for weeks to come “but yes, yeah, drinks. let’s go.” he gives henri a tentative grin, following him as he starts to lead them towards wherever he got the liquor in his cup from. it’s a bit of a maze, trying to navigate through the clumps of people standing all around the church. “how long do you think these people will actually stay? i know we said midnight, but what do you think is going to be the over/under on that? or, you know, just the over.”

[theodxrepark]

avcrys·:

the question caught him off guard. “nobody,” he said with a quick shake of his head, “i went alone.” it thrilled him as well, to hear theo wonder. they’d spent enough time together that he could sense a shift in tone. they were both trying to keep it in good nature, and suddenly something had ever so slightly changed. went off balance. and it was okay, because if theo were telling this story, jack would wonder who he’d gone with too. and there were answers he would hate just as much.

methodically, he balanced his drink in the crook of his forearm, and fished into his pocket. suddenly nerves took over; embarrassing and not at all warranted. jack had never been the ideal gift giver, he didn’t know the depths of people the way you needed to. but this one he’d been excited about. he was confident in it.

in his palm was a silver watch, with a black face and a shiny glaze. “it’s really nothing special…” now he was understating it, for insurance. he felt incredibly self conscious. “i was in washington — er, state not D.C. — and happened on this little vendor in seattle…. i don’t know. i thought it would suit you?” it was only after that he realized he’d been speaking in english the whole time. he hoped theo wouldn’t read into that too much, even if there was something to be read.

.

those three syllables, that brief yet pointed ‘nobody’ is supposed to reassure theo, and maybe for a moment it does. but it wouldn’t be theo without the bounty of insecurities and second-guesses, and right on cue, his mind suddenly supplies him with thoughts about who jack may have met with along the way, about how many nights he could’ve spent with some pretty american thing that theo will never find out about. it’s unfair, the way those same questions fester in theo now that festered in him during their relationship: what aren’t you telling me? which part of you are you still hiding? how do you manage to both console and devastate me in the same swoop? he brushes them off. they don’t owe each other anything anymore.

he’s distracted by jack’s next movements, and he laughs in spite of himself at the sight of jack trying to pull off a balancing act with his drink. “put the cup on a trapeze next time, it’ll probably be more secure,” he remarks. he watches then as jack reaches into his pocket, and he’s really not sure what he’s expecting, but it’s certainly not the small silver watch that appears. “oh.” it’s a small but raw reaction, equal-parts surprise and warmth. he looks up from the watch and smiles. “thank you.” not merci beaucoup but thank you. french may be the language of love, but they’ve always been fondest with each other in english. “i really like it. i don’t have a watch, but i can get on board the idea. always nice to be reminded of the inevitability of time - heraclitus would be proud.”

but the moment is only that - a moment. then theo is looking at the watch with furrowed eyebrows. “jack. what does this mean?” he’s back to french, sharp and accusing in its pronunciation. “i mean, how did you think this was going to work? i wear your watch and you wear my corsage? we keep little pictures of each other stashed in our back pockets? is this how we live happily ever after?” in his mind his voice is firm and unwavering, but in reality it shakes, the hurt bleeding into the words too easily. “i’m trying to be good. i’m trying to move on. but you getting me little gifts, a reminder of you every time i look at my wrist, thinking it would suit me? you’re not playing fair.”

[theodxrepark]

emilivvs·:

@theodxrepark·

“hey,” he slinks up beside theo. the party is still in full swing. not like there’s any chance that’s stopping anytime soon, which emilio knows. he’s riding the high himself, having had a few beers and a couple shots. he knows how to say no to drugs, but he’s a sucker when anyone tries to rope him into shots. so maybe he’s a bit unsteady and his entire body is hot, but he’s having a good time! he needs to spread that.

“i like your costume.” he says, grinning wide as he looks over theo. “i’m so glad we did this though.” he changes the subject immediately, looking back out to the crowd. he’s certainly had a few too many drinks. “being in this club is so awesome, i love you guys.”

he’s way too sober tonight. he told himself at the beginning of the night that he wouldn’t go too overboard, considering the pile of homework he has waiting for him in his cramped apartment, but he regrets that creative decision with every moment that passes. a summer without chastity club parties had allowed him to forget how painful it was to be only moderately tipsy in a room of trashed twenty-somethings.

he looks up from his too-sober musings at the sound of emilio coming up behind him. he smiles easily, a response that emilio’s a reigning champion at eliciting. “big fan of your ensemble too. very, uh.” he snaps his fingers looking for the word before giving up. “i’m trying to remember what the french equivalent of ‘paw patrol’ is. did they translate that show over here too? or was my english upbringing the only one sprinkled with canine cop propaganda?” in his typical fashion, he switches to another train of conversation before he can even fully finish the last. “how drunk are you, exactly? and what do you recommend doing to catch up?”

[theodxrepark]

avcrys·:

he couldn’t stay long around theo. it was the same story every time — where the pleasantries were nice, tolerable. they made jack think that maybe a friendship between them would fit in this world after all. but it wouldn’t be long before it crumbled into something bitter. they’d take shots at each other, they’d make their passive aggressive digs. it wasn’t normally jack’s style, but theo brought it all out in him.

“i got the hell out of europe for the summer. went back home for a bit, travelled a bit, got not much tanner than i was before.” he shrugged, and regarded theo with a careful glance. “maybe i even…brought you back a gift? from new york, the paris of the states.”

it was the truth, but if theo was inclined to think he was kidding, then he’d keep it to himself. but the aforementioned gift was burning a hole in his pocket. he’d came to the party tonight with the intention to get it out of the way, so he might as well rip the bandaid off now.

.

he knows it’s inevitable that they have to talk like this, make polite pleasantries because of the social circle they both run in. but that doesn’t make it any better. theo bought what everyone sold him and actually believed that time could heal all wounds, but he stands here now after their breakup with an almost childlike frustration, wanting to stop feeling upset over something that died too long ago for the grief to still linger.

“how fun. went down that old route 66? reached california just to find it overburdened with labor? took shelter in an old barn to grapple with the fear of starvation? or did steinbeck get the all-american narrative wrong?” he wants to drop it, wants to try and leave it light-hearted and pat himself on the back later. and yet, still he asks, “who’d you go with?”, knowing that there’s a 50/50 chance he’ll hate the answer. knowing that, selfishly, he thinks that should’ve been theo exploring america at jack’s side instead of the summer he got - holed up in his small parisian apartment, doing research until the numbers got blurry.

his face softens at the edges at the mention of a present, and he hopes it’s not noticable. “come on, jack, you didn’t have to bring me back the statue of liberty, that’s way too much hassle. the empire state building would have sufficed just fine.” behind his quips, there’s an unspoken question: you thought of me?

[theodxrepark]

pcppvs​:

there   were   quite   a   few   things   penelope   was   expecting   when   she   heard   the   festivities   would   take   place   inside   of   a   cathedral,   but   the   utter   disregard   the   majority   of   the   student   body   exuded   towards   the   holy   was   certainly   at   the   bottom   of   her   list.   for   a   moment,   the   blonde   felt   rather   embarrassed   for   being   under   the   same   roof   as   the   lot   of   them.   there   was   something   horrendous   about   the   scene   unfolding   at   hand,   the   wild   drinking   and   experimenting   about,   it   almost   became   comical   to   watch.   the   preposterousness   surrounding   the   evening   was   a   bit   much   for   her   tastes,   but   it   was   a   university   party   and   penelope   would   be   damned   if   she   didn’t   take   full   advantage   of   such   a   golden   opportunity.   however   much   she   desired   to   distribute   the   party   favors   for   the   chastity   club,   one   question   remained   at   large:   would   she   be   able   to   partake   in   something   as   blasphemous   as   selling   drugs   inside   of   a   church—   of   all   places?   or   would   her   consciousness,   free   of   all   piousness,   prevent   her   from   doing   so?   if   her   mother   knew   of   these   hobbies,   heard   what   conflicting   thoughts   coursed   through   her   only   child’s   mind,   she   would   be   turning   over   in   her   grave   and   then   some.   with   a   heavy   sigh,   she   remains   idle   by   the   pews,   the   expressive   glint   of   her   eyes   focused   on   a   statue   that   held   zero   meaning   to   her   heart.   why   did   it   bother   her   anyway?   it   was   about   the   respect,   exclaimed   the   right   side   of   her   brain-   it   shouldn’t   matter,   countered   the   left.  

  “huh?”   penelope   breathed   out   suddenly,   her   lungs   free   of   the   heaviness   weighing   heavy   in   her   ribs.   she   hadn’t   truly   noticed   the   club’s   treasurer   by   her   side,   but   judging   by   the   haunted   expression   on   his   face,   they   were   likely   riding   along   the   same   train   of   thought.   religious   imagery   and   the   sacrilegious   revelry   of   a   house   full   of   twenty   somethings   did   not   mix   well   in   her   opinion.   “very   clever.   the   thought   you’ve   put   behind   it   is   what   makes   it   well   worth   it.”   she   smiles   politely,   tucking   silvery   blonde   locks   behind   her   ear   with   practiced   ease.   “well   done,   theodore.”   penelope   complimented,   glancing   about   the   room   only   to   focus   on   the   statue   he   brought   up.   “i’m   afraid   i   can’t   help   you   with   that   one.   i   know   a   lot   about   everything   except   for   religion.   maybe   if   we   get   lucky,   he’ll   resurrect   and   make   sense   of   this   party.”   a   soft   round   of   giggles   escaped   her   rosen   lips,   though   it   always   seemed   to   be   contained.   “come,   now.   you’ve   stared   at   jesus   long   enough.   i’m   sure   he’ll   pardon   you   for   drinking   in   his   home.”

on the surface level, there’s nothing obvious that the two of them share. poppy was raised golden, a kind of glow to her that made even the sun shine with envy, while theo much preferred the shadows, to not be seen and not be heard (and, quite frankly, not be perceived at all). but despite their inherent differences, theo’s profoundly fond of her because he understands her, and vice-versa. he knows all-too well what it must be like to live in poppy’s world, balancing a crown - or rather, a legacy - on her delicate head because he’s stuck doing the same thing. their family expects different things from them, but they’re both motivated by those expectations nonetheless, and it makes him sympathetic to the distressed look on her features right now. he knows what she’s thinking because there’s a version of it looping around in his own head too: what would my parents think of this? 

“oh, that’s so nice, thanks. but i’ve gotta admit, i’m starting to feel a little out of place. playboy bunny would’ve probably been a more appropriate look for this crowd.” as if to prove his point, he casts a not-so subtle glance at the group of party-goers next to them, about four strands of clothes on between the five of them. “but yeah, drink sounds good. it’s almost cruel how sober i’ve been this last week with all the assignments i’ve had to get done. nobody tells you how much work a phd is. actually, that’s a lie, everyone tells you how much work a phd is, but i don’t think i really internalized that enough. at this rate, any day now i’ll drop the problem sets for good and sell my soul to the highest corporate bidder.” in usual theodore fashion, he got side-tracked from his original train of thought, but he’s quick to recognize it and return. “so yes, drinks. sorry. lead the way?”

[theodxrepark]

hvnri·:

every year he feels it. this unsettling, bone-deep chill every time he thinks about the fact that here they were, a bunch of twenty-something-year-olds, throwing a blasphemous party in a holy place of worship. it’s sacrilegious. he’s pretty sure the virgin mary wouldn’t approve of the girls dressed in scantily clad costumes that are meant to be a vampire, or the group of boys slicing holes in their beer cans as they chug down the liquid in seconds. but then again — henri wasn’t religious. so why did he feel like god might just strike him down for being here?

he walks down the aisle carefully, as if navigating through a minefield, one step at a time as his eyes gaze down each pew, examining those in attendance. he has a cup in his hand, whiskey on ice, so as not to appear like an outsider, but he only takes cautious sips of it — he hates getting drunk, hates losing control. he stops at the sight of the bright orange sweater. henri himself lacks any real sentiment of a costume — aside from the ‘hi, my name is seymour krelborn’ sticker placed on his sweater vest (again, an effort to so as not to look like an outsider, despite his opposition to partake). “ah,” henri raised a brow, the corners of his lips tugging into a slightly bemused smile. he got it, in all honesty, but he also enjoyed watching the other try to quickly explain his makeshift pumpkin costume. “clever.” he follows theo’s gaze back toward the statue of jesus that stood before them. he laughs then — which is more like a sharp exhale of breath out his nose as he looks back at theo. “no, but the jews believe the messiah has yet to come,” he glances at the statue, then back at theo, “so i guess you never know.” 

.

if theo could afford to be a bit more reckless with his money, he would’ve bet a good amount that henri doesn’t show tonight. their beloved leader has this outlook on life that intimidates theo as much as it impresses him, and grouped tightly in that outlook is things like ‘be above it all’ and ‘don’t be in the same room as twenty-somethings guzzling bud lite’. or at least that’s what theo assumed - apparently henri’s got a few sides to him. 

he looks at henri with wide eyes now, a habit that’s been present since their first interaction. he’s not as nervous around henri as he used to be, but there’s still that subtle deer-in-headlights quality to theo every time henri speaks to him, even when it’s something as simple as complimnting his halloween costume. “right, thank you. i mean, yeah, good to know you like it. it only narrowly beat out my ‘simple number series’ costume, but its critical response so far has me confident that i went with the right choice. i’d say the same about yours, but also i have no idea who seymour is. are they a historical figure i’m being judged for not knowing? and if that’s the case, do they happen to bear a striking resemblance to your every day attire? not that, uh, that would be a bad thing, you’ve got a very decent every day appearance.” he wishes desperately he could talk like a normal person around henri just this once, as a treat, but alas, he’s stuck teetering on nervous pauses and ramblings. he wonders what it must be like in henri’s shoes, all easy confidence and direct initiative. 

“really? yet to come?” he grins “then how do they explain you?” it’s meant to be a joke, but it’s hard to deny there’s some half-truth to it. the way henri carries himself, he didn’t even need to wear a costume, he dresses up as god every day just fine.