theoptimisticmisanthrope

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

"Awe, knew you wouldn't last without me <3"

He's pretty much a jackass all around. Unapologetic troll who knows he has the power over any objects that uses Wifi (Mac,Phoenicia,Telly etc) Pretty sure they all have beef with him.

Def snatched on that content warning.

Sorry Skylar <\3

Although when U do romance him,

He does show his softer side. His arrogant is (aside from him enjoys being a troll) a thin veil to hide his insecurity.

(Also, high-key seperation anxiety BC yk... He is the wifi)

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Imagine the scent of your F/O lingering in your bed sheets.

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Kissing f/o in the middle of nerdy ramble,,,,, then being like “okayyyyy continue” and they’re so flustered that they struggle to stay focused like they were before

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

commissioning art of selfships will somehow always be embarassing as hell even if I'm the one that reaches out to the artist 😭😭 like yeah this is my man. no he's not real. I will give you $20 to draw us smashing face. thanks

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

”sideblog mutuals” is one of the weirdest relationships you can have with someone on here i think. yeah we’re sort of mutuals but only when we’re both wearing funny hats and doing little voices talking about our shows. like what are we

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

✦ F/O IMAGINE ✦

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

NEW F/O's. Below cut.

Hi sillies!! I'm. So sorry for not being active here lately, college has been kicking my ass. I'm still here, just as I've always been. Anyways, I'd like to take a moment to introduce my new f/o's, of which I am romantic nonsharing with. More lore soon, but do know that I love them. I don't know if you've noticed, but BJ has been taking a backseat lately.

Preface: This is not RPF and I do not support some of the actors behind the Slenderverse and other associated media. I implore you to do your own research and come to your own conclusions. If you end up reblogging this, please do not tag it with actual fandom tags, I will block you. /srs. As always. Proship DNI.

Without further ado...

... Chat I got poly with it. /silly

Evan, Vincent, and Jeff (CHARACTERS, NOT ACTORS) from EverymanHYBRID !!

Ship name is "🔰Cardinal Directions🔰"

I do not selfship with HABIT. He is well-written but his whole point was to not be humanized nor looked up to. Y'all freaky lmao. Also, obligatory fuck Jeff's actor. I don't support him.

"Ooh, but they all had canon love-interests! They're all kinda bad people in-canon!" It's my selfship lore and they're nuanced. Let me dream. /silly

Mark Hoffman - SAW Franchise !!

Ship Name- "🧩Discreetshipping🌀"

No, I don't condone his actions, and I do not defend them. I understand them, however and will never shut the fuck up about him. /silly /hj

Anyways. Uh. Happy pride month. That's the post. Yippee.

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Made an opposite version of this userbox because I thought it'd be funny

No credit needed I made this in 30 seconds on photoshop LMAO

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Hello.. Sara..

How have you been? I apologize if this is short, I only have a little bit of time to send something out, communication is limited here and I don't know how long everyone else will be resting.. but I miss you. I don't know how much longer it will be, but I want nothing more than to be back home in your arms.. even if it takes another one hundred and nine years.. I don't care what AM or any other being throws my way.. I will be back, I will get to tell you how much I love you, and to hold you, oh, I miss that the most..

It's been hard.. but the memories of you made it bearable.. I don't care what he turns me into.. slug-adjacent creature or whatever it does or not.. I'm still Ted, still yours..

That got sappy, apologies. I just hope I got my point across well, I adore you.

I hope this reaches you with care

- Ted

A part of me wants to respond to this in character. But I think I'd die of embarrassment if I did. I am trying SO hard to be normal rn I' ngfvnvlkjnfv sobns lfodudl.y aaaaaAAAAAAAA

SOBS LOUDLUYY

<33333 Ted, my lovely, mine and mine alone hehehe

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Bad news: having an f/o who exists solely in a 4 minute scene from an audio drama means fanworks are be hard to come by.

Good news: having an f/o who exists solely in a 4 minute scene from an audio drama means you can easily rewrite that transcript to include your self insert.

And so, by demand request of the Selfship Library (/lh), I present:

Brett Larz’s introduction, now featuring his Ink5oul-tackling, guard-dog-coded, definitely-not-going-to-fall-for-him foil, Rikki Prescott.

GWEN puts the phone down hard and lets out an irritated long sigh. The door opens abruptly and BRETT saunters in, followed closely by RIKKI.

GWEN: (angry) Alice, I told you, I’m not- Oh.

She stops, thrown. He is unexpected, rather handsome, and RIKKI is side eyeing him suspiciously. She covers with her best impression of what she thinks authority looks like.

BRETT: Sorry, don’t mean to interrupt. I asked to see the woman in charge and your employee here led me to you.

GWEN: Did they?

RIKKI: (grouchy) Not as willingly as he’d have you believe.

GWEN: I see… yes, I am in charge. I don’t believe we’ve met, Mr…

BRETT: Larz, call me Brett. And I’m guessing you’re Ms. Bouchard, I believe we have an appointment?

 

GWEN: We do?

BRETT: Set up a few weeks ago. You emailed us?

GWEN: (still covering) Oh. Of course, my… assistant here must have neglected to update my calendar, My apologies.

RIKKI: (how dare) Excuse me?

BRETT: It’s all good, God knows I’d struggle to be on the ball working these hours. Latest meeting I’ve had in years. Since your predecessor, actually.

GWEN: Right.

BRETT: Must be a lot of pressure, filling her shoes.

RIKKI: Watch it.

GWEN: Settle down, Mx. Prescott. (to Brett, colder) It’s been a lot of clean up, certainly. Speaking of which, I’m afraid we’ve been having some issues with our email systems. Do you remember what exactly I wanted to discuss?

 

BRETT: Oh well, I believe you said something about budget adjustments and reconsidering whether Starkwall had anything to offer the OIAR in terms of security services.

The penny drops for Gwen.

GWEN: Ah, of course.

She settles herself back and into her role. It isn’t really any more convincing.

GWEN: Well firstly, I’m so glad you could make it.

BRETT: Pleasure’s all mine Ms. Bouchard. You’re a breath of fresh air compared to my other clients.

GWEN: (flattered) Yes, well…

She meets RIKKI’s eyes, which, among other things, are screaming “keep it together.” She readjusts in her chair.

GWEN: I’m afraid this meeting is purely exploratory you understand.

BRETT: Explore away.

Beat.

GWEN: As the new manager it behooves me to check these things and although our current security arrangements are satisfactory, I’m interested in hearing your pitch as to why we need the services of a Private Military Company.

BRETT: Well, let’s start with tonight. I just walked right in and you know how many people challenged me? One. (gesturing to RIKKI) Just the one. There was one locked door with a basic RFID reader, and when I knocked on it, a tired young woman let me in as soon as I said your name. The only obstacle I had to face was an openly aggressive, expletive-filled interrogation on my name and intentions, and while the effort was commendable, it still took little convincing to get me to your office, albeit with an escort. I’m not sure I’d describe that as a “satisfactory security arrangement”.

GWEN: I see your point, but we can solve that with some basic training and some new locks.

BRETT: Of course, but that isn’t going to help with off-site security is it?

GWEN: True but we do have… other assets at our disposal should we need them.

RIKKI: (please no) Gwe- Ms. Bouchard, I hate to cut in, but I feel as though we’ve been over this. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be wary of…

They look towards BRETT, whose head is tilted in passive interest. Their eyes narrow and they look back to GWEN.

RIKKI: Outside influences, but I don’t believe our “other assets” are much of a viable resource either. Considering our… previous encounters, it seems a bad idea to trust them with anything, least of all our safety.

BRETT: They’re right, you know. I warned Lena against the wholesale shift to her uh, how shall we put it? ‘Unpredictable External agents?’

RIKKI visibly startles. GWEN is surprised but covers it.

BRETT: Well, as Mx… Prescott, was it? (no response from RIKKI) As Mx. Prescott says, it was a bad idea then and it’s a bad idea now. In the past, Starkwall has been a major factor in keeping those agents in check, and I think we can both admit that Lena’s decision to part ways with us has left your situation… precarious.

GWEN: It’s not ideal I’ll admit but I have a few reports here that seem to show Starkwall actually increasing the precarity of a few situations over the years. What would you say to that?

BRETT: (good natured) Hey, I’ll be the first to admit our record isn’t spotless but when you’re working in dangerous situations with incomplete intel and unreliable allies, things can get hairy. But let’s be honest, as far as I’m aware that’s pretty much the standard M.O. at the O.I.A.R. and we never left a job unfinished I still believe there’s a bright future for us if we work together.

RIKKI: (under their breath) A profitable future for you, maybe.

BRETT: And a secure one for you and your team. We can protect you from whatever comes your way. I guarantee it.

RIKKI: (indignant) You “guarantee it?” Seriously? Had to deal with the externals yourself? Or were you just the one filling out forms when their bodies turned up? Do you even know what actually-

GWEN: (sharp) Rikki, that’s enough.

Beat.

GWEN: Thank you for your time, Mr. Larz, but I think we’ll have to decline your offer for now.

Beat.

BRETT: I understand. How about we leave you to think it over and if the situation changes, we’ll be ready to help. Here’s my card - drop me a line when you reconsider and we can set up some sort of trial or demonstration, maybe?

GWEN: We’ll see.

BRETT: (standing) Sounds good. Well, take care of yourself Ms. Bouchard, I can’t deny I’m a little disappointed but it’s still nice to be invited back.

He politely smiles at RIKKI. His eyes hold a sense of fascination.

BRETT: And it was lovely to meet you, Mx. Prescott. I do hope to see more of you going forward.

RIKKI: (skeptical) Sure.

Beat.

BRETT: You know, it’s strange. I never realized how big this office is when I was talking to Lena.

RIKKI bristles, about to say something, but GWEN shoots them a look and they begrudgingly settle.

GWEN: Good night, Mr. Larz. I’m sure my assistant would be happy to show you out.

RIKKI: Overjoyed.

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Self shippers with self-esteem issues and deep seeded self worth issues that make it hard for you to believe that your f/o truly loves you, I see you and I love you.

Having these issues doesn't mean you're hard to love or that you're a burden to your f/o. That's what they're here for. They want you and every piece of you, even if you think its too much to handle. They love you, and they will remind you everyday if that's what you need.

Using our f/os to punish ourselves or inflict emotional self harm is a hard habit to break and it may feel like its deserved, but its not. Your f/o doesn't want that. They want to be a light in the dark for you. Please remember when your brain is being cruel to you, your f/o wouldn't say or do those things.

They love you. Now and forever. 🧡

[proship dni]

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Oh, no! You and your F/O have been cursed by a wizard for a whole week! Spin this wheel to find out your curse.

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

just use your main one if you have multiple

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Shout-out to all the self shippers who are unable to commission others to draw their ship (Wherever it be due to financial reasons, don't have paypal, cash app, etc, too scared to commission others or simply don't want to commission others).

You are all valid!

Proship and under 18 DNI!

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Hihi everyone!!! I'm so excited to announce: Skylar Specs and Dorian have been added to my F/O list! My girlfriend and my best friend hehehe!!!

I am EXTREMELY nonsharing with Skylar, so please no doubles <333 idc if friends/followers interact with doubles (I have never cared btw, please feel free to befriend whoever!) I just don't want doubles interacting with me! This might change in the future, but for no, no thank you!

As for Dorian, he's my best friend!! And he should have more friends!! Very comfy sharing him, everyone give him love!!

Is this a potentially bad idea as only the demo is out? Maybe! But also idc I have loved Skylar even before the demo and the only thing holding me back in the past was the lack of a game, but now we have a demo she's in, so I don't care!!!

I'm sure other f/os from date everything will show up as well, but for now, ya ;0 ty guys!

Skylar pic to celebrate!!! Isn't she beautiful? 💖

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

♟️Promo !!🎲

Hello! I'm Cupid. I'm a 20 year old fictoromantic selfshipper, and my f/o is Board "BJ" James! I am nonsharing.

I post art related to my selfship and I reblog imagines, mutual's posts, and other stuff I find sweet. I do not post/reblog NSFW but I do not mind if you do so long as you are an adult. Minors may interact with me but please don't make it weird, I have the right to block you.

DNI is in my pinned but to sum it up, DNI if you are: Proship/Comship/Darkship, Anti-anti, and fall into the basic DNI criteria.

I'd love to be your mutual. Happy selfshipping!!

[theoptimisticmisanthrope]

Dorks