theorioncollusion

[theorioncollusion]

The way everybody be making fanfics where things don't go to hell and I'm here stuck unable to think the story any different from the way it goes

“There’s no me without you”

[theorioncollusion]

I should clarify for those of you unaware. I do not understand how this website works and I will be stumbling blindly through the darkness as I learn. Do not assist me. I must sink or swim on my own merit.

[theorioncollusion]

Eithan, objectively one of the single most powerful beings in the entire universe being literal personification of the burnt out ultra gifted theater kid will never not be funny to me

Turns out I’m not done with Eithan. This has probably been said better by smarter, more sober people, BUT!!!

Eithan is the ultimate burnt-out-former-gifted-kid.

All his life Ozmanthus was the best. He was the smartest, strongest, coolest, most badass dude to ever do it, and he could never be anything less. When he was a kid this was great! All the adults said he was super smart and that was super cool! Sure he left his friends behind, but he’d make other friends at some point! Just as soon as he gets this whole “cultivation” thing figured out…

Can’t be too long…

Any day now…

Fuck…

Now he’s a monarch who focused on being the most efficient cultivator alive and he has a reputation as a cold, friendless, genius that no one really likes and that everyone is super afraid of. Not exactly prime friend material.

“Oh well” says Ozmanthus, “This place fucking sucks and you’re all a bunch of bitches. Later!”

[one ascension later]

“Hey look! A bunch of heavenly people who don’t think I’m a friendless weirdo! I should go talk to them!”

[mass casualties]

“Okay, friends weren’t that important to me! Guess I’ll go back to the ol’ standby of self-imposed isolation and cultivation!”

Oz kept this up until he solved Heaven and became the Grim Reaper. Shockingly, this did not make him any friends and oh look: we’re right back where we were on Cradle with a reputation as a cold, friendless genius that no one really likes and that everyone is super afraid of.

That lasts a couple thousand years before he has a bit of a breakdown and does the judge equivalent of moving into his parents basement.

He goes and tries to fix some “small” problems and finally clean up that pesky hunger madra problem this shithole has. He fucks it up completely, burns down the house, and has to move in with his weird relatives in another state, where he finally makes some friends in the form of a baby gym bro and a knife girl.

I cannot emphasize enough how literally just having friends changed this man’s life. He went from brooding, cynical, anti-hero to goofy, comedic relief/mentor figure in like 3 years.

All it took was numerous life or death struggles, the death of a significant portion of his family, an entire hero’s journey, and a clash for the fate of the multiverse!

The moral of the story is, find someone to match your vibe or you might oops your way into being Death? I guess? Idk I lost track of this one a while ago…