thepeepsinthechilipot

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

im about 5 fucking seconds from putting the peeps in the chili pot and adding the m'n'ms.

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

My wife and I have a little game we play called "Speaking From Ignorance."

To play Speaking From Ignorance, all you need is a phone with a voice recorder, and another person who knows considerably more or considerably less about a topic than you do. The topic can be anything: from "how to bake a quiche" to "what happens in the Peter Jackson Hobbit movies" to "who is Florence Pugh" to "how does the traveling salesman problem work." All that matters is that one of you has a firm grasp on the material, and one of you absolutely the fuck does not.

Then the person who knows about the topic turns on the recorder, and says to the person who knows barely anything: "Hey - tell me everything you think you know about [X]."

The speaker is then not allowed to ask any questions. Nor is the expert allowed to volunteer any information. The expert is allowed to pipe up with a faintly incredulous "Oh--really? Do you--do you think so?" from time to time, but for the most part, the expert's job is just to sit there and make encouraging sounds while the speaker digs their own grave.

This is never not funny.

The reason you record it is because, very often, the first thing the speaker wants to do after finishing the recording is find out how you actually make a quiche, or whatever. Then you both get to go back and listen to how wrong they were.

We have a small library now of Speaking From Ignorance recordings, and I'm going to be listening to them until I'm eighty.

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

im just someones weird sister

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

You know what I think is really cool about language (English in this case)? It’s the way you can express “I don’t know” without opening your mouth. All you have to do is hum a low note, a high note, then another lower note. The same goes for yes and no. Does anyone know what this is called?

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

not to be a dirty commie or anything but i don't think any one person should have enough money to solve world hunger and then get to decide not to

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

cbs ghosts episode from jay’s pov. none of the ghosts are visible it’s just sam talking to air for 22 minutes straight. all the long pauses stay in.

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:

why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

This is the perfect moment for Vine to do the funniest thing possible

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

having a freeze response to stress is so funny in the context of normal adult stressors. millions of years of evolution are trying to tell me that the email will not find me if i stay very still and do nothing

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

affirmations

i am a complex organism brutally engineered by uncaring forces of nature

i am a product of billions of years and trillions of deaths

i am building a machine greater than myself

i am able to make phone calls and appointments

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

Another Jason commission

if you are interested in something similar you can send a direct message!

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

genuinely one of the saddest parts of this new era of the internet is how hard it is to rick roll someone now. with people's attention spans shortening so much, they wouldn't even get through the first few bait seconds before clicking off the video. like i saw a comment that ended with "btw i made all of this up" and the replies kept treating it so seriously because none of them finished the entire 4 sentence comment. and We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I (do I) A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

For sale: ship of theseus

Condition: used, like new

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

i know that life isn't a race and that everyone does things on their own schedule and that i shouldn't compare myself to other people who haven't lived the same life that i have and overcome the same obstacles i have. BUT

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

an incomplete list of times a bat has yelled for superman’s help

- six years after they met, batman called for superman’s help for the first time, when he realized he couldn’t save a child from a fire

- dick grayson, age 8, called for superman to save batman from a death trap

- dick grayson, age 9, called superman to open a jam jar (strawberry)

- alfred, age lots, called superman to save batman from a death trap

- dick grayson, age 11, called superman to open a jam jar (grape)

- bruce wayne called superman to comfort dick grayson, who had just been fired as robin

- ace the bathound barked for superman to save batman from a death trap

- bruce wayne called superman to ask why, precisely, dick grayson was now superhero-ing under a kryptonian name

- jason todd called superman to save batman from a death trap

- batman called superman to save jason todd from a death trap. superman was in a different solar system.  he didn’t hear his name.

- barbara gordon called superman to help subdue supergirl, who was mind-controlled at the time

- dick grayson, age 19, called superman to open a jam jar (raspberry)

- tim drake called superman to save batman from a death trap

- stephanie brown called superman to see if she could

- tim drake called superman to tell superboy to take his earbuds out

- batman called superman because the batplane had just exploded at 17,000 feet, and he can’t fly, at all

- jason todd called superman to save batman from a death trap that he had himself set up

- dick grayson, age 24, called superman to open a jam jar (fig)

- dick grayson called superman to ask him why he hadn’t saved his father

- damian wayne called superman to save batman (dick grayson) from a death trap

- cassandra cain called superman so he could interpret her signs for a particularly skeevy alleyway ruffian.  he refused to interpret some of the signs.

- batman called superman to tell him to get lois some damn flowers already so she would stop texting him

- a failsafe device made by barbara gordon and tim drake automatically called superman to save batman from a death trap

- duke thomas called superman because he was dared to and he didn’t think it would work (it did)

- dick grayson, age 26, called superman to open a jam jar (apricot)

- damian wayne called superman to tell superboy (jon kent) to take his earbuds out

- selina kyle called superman to save a kitten from a tree

- dick grayson, age 28, called superman to save batman from a jam jar (giant, acid-filled)

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

im always saying shit like ‘the worst thing i could do for my mental health right now is isolate’ while crawling into bed with my phone

[thepeepsinthechilipot]

Welcome to Tumblr, we *smack* are a normal *smack* social media blogging *smack smack smack* website.