thepleasureofconsciousness

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Armor of God 7/6/25

Today is Sunday, and I began my day with some bible study and a sermon from Pastor Taylor from Social Dallas. I’m glad I decided to watch the one I chose because I needed the message more than I realized. In this past Mother’s Day sermon, she decided to highlight how Jesus said, “Look at the birds,” which is also the title of the video. I loved this title because I love bird-watching. Birds remind me to be present and observant of my surroundings. One thing she said that automatically hit me was, “Birds are care-free because they are cared for.” She’s right, they don’t worry about the future, or what they will eat tomorrow. They live for today.

God has provided everything we could possibly need, when we begin to worry it strays farther away from us. I am immensely thankful for this message today. One thing she also preached is that worry is contagious, so be careful how you show up in the world. Also, to be careful on who you let it in—-as you don’t want to catch the worry bug. It’s not for you to carry. What we should be carrying though is the armor of God: A helmet of salvation, a breastplate of righteousness, a sword of spirit, a belt of trust, and last but not least, shoes of peace. When I heard her say that I immediately memorized it, I needed that in my spiritual toolbox.

This spiritual journey has been fulfilling and challenging. I am figuring out the best ways to make sure I am hearing the Eternal one, God. Figuring out the best way to follow MY path of righteousness. Learning how to show up how I am meant to with the light and favor of God shining from behind me. And just simply remembering that the Most High is always with me. I hope I won’t scare people off with Jesus talk, I want to be humble in my personal experience in faith. My writing is simply a written reflection of various times in my life, I hope you can enjoy it as much as I enjoy reflecting about it.

-Deyzya

Artwork: Unknown :(

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

On Faith 7/6/25

Most of my life has been centered around the different, but fascinating paths with God. As I mentioned in a previous post—I remember looking up at the ceiling in first grade, and believing that God was looking at me. At the time I believed my mother was God (I hadn’t fully grasped the understanding of the Most High yet). I just knew I believed someone was with me, gently watching over every step I took from a very early age.

Over the years, now being 27 years old, I have had my fair share of faithless and empty moments. I never found a church that made me feel comfortable and didn’t deem the crowd to “hell” for whatever reasons, as if they were perfect or had the authority to spew such nonsense. That was until Thursday, June 26th, my mom invited my sister and I to a Social Dallas: Social Girls One Day event. My mom knows I am very sensitive to messages in faith. Thankfully, she was confident that I would enjoy this event. During the service I was enraptured with faithful songs and great words, not to mention not even hearing the word “hell” once. I felt safe. Safe enough to feel guided to find a YouTube video the next morning that played scriptures for 27 minutes straight—something I had never done before. I’ve been finding myself choosing that particular video (along with others I found) over my usual music. I love the feeling of being grounded in spirit, just like I did as a child.

My personal perspective on Jesus has been developing for years now. In 2018 I remember having a conversation with my mom, saying that we are here to live like Jesus. Yesterday, I began reading a book called “Just Like Jesus,” by Max Lucado. He mentions the forgiving moment when Jesus washed the disciple’s feet all while knowing that they were going to act against him in betrayal. The author went on to say that Jesus would see a “shortcoming” within a person, and say something along the lines of ‘I can clean that for you, would you like me to?’ I stopped reading for a second because I realized before I allowed myself to be tainted by the unfriendliness of the world; I would do the same. All along I had been living like Jesus. Now, I find myself not as freely allowing myself to give because of insecurity, people are not very kind. So currently, I live like Jesus sometimes. I would like to change that; God knows I want to be like Jesus all the time. With that said, I have also realized that there aren’t many religions that align with my personal beliefs in God fully.

Jesus took time of solitude with God and studied scripture that he had, healed others, and loved all. I love scripture, I love the power of word and touch, and I love God more than anything. But there is not one religion that checks off all the boxes for me to submit to. Most would say, “just choose Christianity,” but it too often focuses on the death of Jesus for me to conform to that belief wholeheartedly. The depth in the ways of Jesus are too often ignored, which is why there are so many who follow the Christian faith but are not following the teachings of Jesus closely. Instead, they harp on the belief that his blood and body protect them from their sins. That is the best excuse to continue a life of judgement and hate. From my perspective, this is where they lose me and I have no desire to conform to that way of life. This is no hate towards those who follow this belief, just an account of my perspective.

For a couple years now I have found myself attracted to the lifestyle and practice of monks. I love the quiet, studious, meditative approach to living with God. I don’t find screaming, yelling, or extremely performative displays of faith appealing. Some do, and I’m glad that works for them. As I am growing older and my mask I created for society is falling, my tolerance for loud voices and sound is very low. So for me and my faith, I want to learn and follow the teachings of Jesus; in a quiet, peaceful, non-damning manner. Therefore, I will continue to praise and stay close to God by reading and listening to the scriptures that comfort me in spirit. This will mostly be done in solitude and nature.

I will be trying not to allow myself to judge others or hold grudges. Everyone is deserving of a chance, grace, a touch and a word of faith. I am not perfect nor am I extraordinary. But I am an ordinary clay pot made by the hands of God with glittering treasures inside. Thank you Mom and Alonna for inviting me to church and helping me find boundless faith again. You don’t know just how much the experience at Social Dallas lit the spark that I needed after these past few months. I love you!

-Deyzya

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[thepleasureofconsciousness]

My future

cats and libraries ۫ ꣑ৎ

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

She brings good life, she brings good love 4/7/25

I have made my focus and my daily mantra

She brings good life,

She brings good love

It can be hard everyday battling

Being seen

The fear of judgement

Unnecessary but real

I don’t want to be perceived

But I need to be

To allow the world to see

What God has guided me

To be

In the magic of this present moment

The privilege of this moment

Open your eyes and see the blessing

Of us all being here at once

Living, moving, being

With this full moon I let go of the fear of being seen

The fear of being perceived

As different

When my whole existence has been

Different

I accept the reality that I have chosen

The road less traveled

Consciously choosing everyday to be

The better version of me

I accept that I am a chronic mistake maker,

A clumsy whimsy of feelings and beauty

A life learner,

The painter of my life

Using redirection, love and heart flutters

As the mediums to guide my strokes

I understand that choosing the road less traveled

Also requires paving your own road

My issue is that I don’t always enjoy the responsibility

Of steering the wheel of a life like mine

All while knowing that I could never let someone else

Take control of a life like mine

This precious, divine gift of

Life

The divine responsibility to bring

Good life,

To bring good love.

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, using acrylic paint markers, liner pens, and color pencils on canvas (4/6/25)

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Psalm 95 + Personal Poem

Psalm 95

Sing a song

Sing to God with thankfulness,

Sing a song of praise,

Sing out loud and joyfully

Sing out all your days.

Personal Poem written 2/27/24:

God

I pray that you guide my steps

Protect me from wrong doing

And negative thinking

With your love and guidance

My wildest dreams shall come to fruition

Through the heartbreak of

Being greatest less than I deserve,

I will always persevere as I am of you

And your plans for me are so great

My mind can’t even fathom them yet.

Help me to continue to shine through the

Utter darkness that surrounds me.

I wrote the personal piece above at a time when I needed divine assistance during a challenging moment in life.

Thank you,

-Deyzya (2025)

Artwork: Aphra Natley, “Infinite Hope”

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Busy, fulfilling times 3/9/25

This has been one of the busiest two weeks of my adult life. Today is Sunday, March 9th, 2025, the day of the surprise party I planned for my lover. It’s a milestone birthday, so it’s best to believe I have been brewing this idea mentally for over a year now. Around February I realized that it is “go” time. Time to bring my ideas to reality, somehow finding and reaching out to his friends, and getting help from his Dad with holding it at his home. I successfully planned it all accordingly all while not letting myself stress or worry. Thank you to his brothers Jordan and Khrys for traveling to make it for the surprise. Bringing my vision of a meaningful celebration for the man I love growing and being with to reality was nothing short of fulfilling.

Last night I went out with high school classmates that I hadn’t seen in years. Cruz, one of my few best friends from high school, was in town again. Finally, I needed to hug my friend. Magically our classmate Jessica hosted us at her very humble and sweet abode. She dressed her cat in a little white collar and black tie because we were coming *insert aww face, my aww face is dramatic because I love thoughtful sweet actions*. Once we caught up, laughed and warmed up we took an uber Oak Lawn or the Gayborhood. We danced and did line dancing at Round Up, recalling those moments now, they are one of a kind. We had so much fun with each other, laughing like we did in high school. Uncontrollable, freeing laughs. We all needed it. 

I did get to share with them that I created a program at my library that teaches patrons about healing yourself using what you have, which is your mind and body. My program came to life on February 25, 2025. Which is why this is one of the busiest times of my life so far. They really enjoyed that news, and because of my knowledge of Rejuvenate Myself I was able to approach the night in a way that is good for us all. The only issue was that the Daylight savings happened and I lost an hour. I got only 4 hours of complete sleep, I woke up around 8:34ish am with no alarm. Before leaving the bed I started calculating the time that I needed to make the surprise party successful. I think this is what the 20’s are all about, still being able to do that. I definitely ended up taking a short but sweet nap with him, of course I have to care for myself after caring for all. 

Life is interesting…

“Luck happens when preparation meets opportunity”

Is still on e of my favorite fortune cookie messages.

I stay focused on the activities, opportunities, moments

That bring me the most peace,

A heart fulfilled

That is my intention

My motive

Me.

I hope you continue to choose you, but also those you love. Never fail to say or show love today, right now

To anyone and everything

Your outer world

Reflects your attitude to your inner world.

Say I love you

To you

Look in the mirror

Hold your heart

And feel

Then think

I love you

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, made inspired by this post, using pen and black color pencil on multi media paper.

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Thank you, Miss Robbie 3/4/25

For Miss Robbie (3/3/1935-3/3/2025)

Her home is a safe space, it always had been for me growing up. Even if I didn’t particularly want to go I always found something there to enjoy. Like, the PBS channel always playing in the lower room. The room was 1 or 2 steps below the main floor of the home, that is where all of the children-care materials, beds, a mirror on the right wall, a small but very memorable window on the opposite end of the room from the entry. I spent a lot of time in this home, and with Miss Robbie. 

When I was much younger sometimes my immediate family would have to work or other duties, so I would get dropped off to Miss Robbie. In the morning she would make the most delectable oatmeal, and I would sit at her wooden table in the kitchen and eat happily. At Miss Robbie’s house, in the room I mentioned earlier, I would make play books using scrapbook paper and a made up story from my 8 year old mind. It was an important day when I realized while working on a book, that I wanted to be an author or writer when I grew up. In that home, I discovered myself. I have a clear picture of this exact moment in my now almost 27 year old mind.

Between the PBS channel and the sunroom in the front of her home, I was developed in this space. She held a space for me to grow and be nurtured. I will say, when I was just beginning to go over to her house she was a lot more stern and strict. Being the kid that I was, I made sure to not make her upset or angry. Respect came easy from me, probably because of the village that raised me, her included. As more time passed, and she grew older I noticed she was a lot more tolerant and patient. I understand kids can be a nuisance, and with age you lose the desire to give a rearing. Miss Robbie was a community hero, she helped raise so many babies, toddlers, children in her home. Realizing this after she has gone home has been hard for me today, however, I am so thankful to have experienced an able woman as herself. She rode around the sun ninety times, she was loved by many, her love and nature will be missed and forever celebrated. 

Thank you, Miss Robbie.

-Deyzya

Artwork: Leo and Diane Dillon

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

3-Day Fast Realizations 2/22/25

For three days straight I took a break from social media, alcohol, and anything else unnecessary in my life. During those three days I felt a lot more secure and in control of what content I allow myself to witness and experience. I realized I needed a break from social media when I reflected on how angry and hopeless I felt after looking at the news flooding my chosen media platforms. I don’t enjoy the lingering nasty feeling of  how it feels to be angry, so I went ahead and deleted instagram, facebook, and TikTok. I wanted to be in control of what I can control. And I have control of what apps I have on my phone. In moments of “boredom,” I would almost always find myself mindlessly clicking on these apps, just to end up feeling drained and confused. No more— I choose to give myself the chance to enjoy my life. 

Those three days were a prayer answered. I realized this on the fourth day, Thursday. I noticed I had less unnecessary thought and judgement, and more control and discipline. I love pushing the limits of who I think I am. I know God’s gift to me is within the path paved for me. In efforts to align my mind during my fast, at work, I found solace while reading quotes from the Tao Te Ching during down time. 

I took note of my favorites:

”In dwelling, live close to the ground
In thinking, keep to the simple
In conflict, be fair and generous
In governing, do not try to control
In work, what what you enjoy
In family life, be completely present.”

“Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench
Care about people’s approval,
and you will be their prisoners.”

“Can you love people and lead them without imposing your will?”

“Can you take a step back from your own mind and thus understand all things?”

“Hope and fear are both phantoms that arise from thinking of the self. 
If we don’t see the self as self, 
what do we have to fear?”

“Yielding is the way of the Tao.”

”See the World as yourself, 
Have faith in the way things are.
Love the World as yourself;
then you can care for all things”

“Returning to the source is serenity.”

“Because she competes with no one, no one can compete with her.”

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

“The reason why the Universe is eternal is that it does not live for itself; it gives life to others as it transforms.”

I enjoy those words of Lao Tzu. I’ve always known that life is supposed to be simple. I have been attracted to the lore and wisdom of religion and life practice for as long as I can remember. While studying Buddhism, I found the ability to be clear minded and in control, present most of all. In other practices, over time I found the power of surrendering, which is just as— if not more important.

I grew up part Baptist in Houston, Tx and of Ifa in Dallas, Tx simultaneously and practiced in Florida every now and then. I have seen and heard very many perspectives. I know that we are meant to live like Jesus, who also led a simple life but one with a heart and sense. But in my opinion, we can also live like Siddhartha. I wrote about his journey in one of my earlier posts, Siddhartha is a God enjoyer, a young man who wanted to understand God on every level and almost ‘be in God’s skin’  in love with God. I won’t lie and say that I am not just like him, in finding myself asking God for what they want for me only, every time to pray. I am like this because this journey with God started as early as I can remember thinking. With that being said, I am here to live like me. 

Fall in love with taking care of you.

Until next time,

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, created in procreate.

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Planning 2/10/25

I found myself thinking about my younger self early this morning while getting ready to write. I was cutting a stray piece of thread off of my durag and as I was putting the scissors down, I thought about 15 year old me. At 15, I was experiencing one of my worst depressive eras, filled with secret self-destruction and internal judgement. More importantly, before there was 15 year old me there was 10-13 y/o me. The me who was (and still is) obsessed with planners, journals, and books. Filled with life and love, but most importantly direction. The difference between now and then is that I am finally consistently using my planners. When I was young, I lacked the discipline to be accountable in keeping up with a planner. No judgement there, I had a lot going on with school, theatre, dance, student council vice-president, and outside of school was a whole nother story. That me had a drive for life with a vision and faith. 

What happened between 13-15? That’s a story for another time, but I’ll give credit to not having the drive anymore. I accidentally found myself in a place where I barely thought about my future with any light anymore. And soon enough that lack of direction turned into depression and self harm—deep dark feelings, taking the driver's seat with something sharp enough to fulfill the pain of “not being enough” or “being too nice.” Today when I thought of myself at that age, I felt so deeply for the pain I felt, and I am thankful for the confidence, experiences, and the life I have now. I know I am enough, because I believe we all are enough. And I am nice, but only in an effort to be kind. I do not allow anyone to disrespect me, because that is me sacrificing my joy and peace. People who choose to disrespect others and lack empathy usually (and obviously) have an imbalance emotionally. That behavior is taught. Love is powerful and needed for growth, but it is not easily found if your mind is clouded with hate and judgement. 

Alright, it is 6:50 am and now I am going to share with you a recent lesson. In July of 2024, I got a new planner, it is black with gold lettering and print on it, with a sun and moon on the cover. I hadn’t used a planner in probably over 5-6 years, but I took to this one extremely well. It became like my third hand. I reached for it any chance that I got. I also stayed on top of all of my work meetings, responsibilities, and projects almost perfectly. Birthdays, plans, or goals, I had it all written. Creating this habit was great for my accountability and my penmanship. 

Recently I was ubering all day, and I had my planner in my front seat. I stopped to get lunch and had one of the best Bahn Mi’s ever from I Luv Pho Preston. Much later that evening I picked up my planner, and tell me why there is liquid damage all on the edges around my planner. It was ruined! I was heartbroken, I cried and then realized I have to buy a new planner that night because work was in the morning. I also realized this is a great lesson: I need to  loosen my grip on attachments. It is good to be able to part with something you love. That makes room for new experiences, and maybe an evolved and very necessary change in life. I bought a new planner from a store called Paper Source. At first it was not the aesthetic I was going for, and after comparing the two I felt grief for my last planner. But overtime and personalizing it, it has really grown on me and I absolutely love it. I am thankful for my support system: My lover helped me feel better by paying for my new planner and Antaja empathized with me about how sacred our journals and writings are to us. I hope you have an amazing time wherever you are in life today. 

Thank you for stopping by,

“Luck happens when preparations meets opportunity.”

-one of my favorite fortune cookie finds.

-Deyzya

Photo: My current planner, early 2025. It has now been filled more (mid 2025).

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Dance 2/3/25

Dance

Dance for no reason

Dance for exercise

Dance for love

Make love in dance

It is a birthright to express with movement

We learn that from trees

Stretching to and fro,

Limbs reaching as far as its roots allow

Wind your hips, shake and snake your body

You are capable of so much with this body

The only instrument that will always be yours

You don’t have to be a ‘good’ dancer to move to tunes

You deserve to be able to freely sing and dance without

Fear

Fear, the very thing that steals the joy and light of dance

Your body is precious, deserving, and magical

The magic of your bodily systems working together

Is the very reason you should always move

Allow yourself to grow

Dance because movement stirs the energy within

Allowing the spirit to merge with the soul

Creating a fire of passion that beams and shines

Dance

Dance for health

Dance for fun

Dance for life

I have made dance a constant practice in my life. Similar to the way I did when I was young. Once you practice enough, your posture and grace shows itself as you move through life. You’re quick and calculated on your feet, and a bit more whimsical (for some). I often get told that I have a youthful glow when I have time to move my body that morning. That tells me that there is a correlation between movement/dance and our aura/energy. I find that movement in the hips and legs really allows the root of your body (base of your spine) to feel open and free. A blocked root creates many issues, including lack of confidence and laziness. And laziness and insecurity leads to regrets and shame (also aches and even diseases). Which are  some of the lowest frequencies we can possess. The ones you want to stay away from at all cost. 

The highest frequencies are love and compassion. I don’t know about you but I can literally feel love in my heart. When I see something kind or sweet my heart flutters, sometimes more intensely than other times. I realize not everyone has this ability though, but I have noticed that people with high levels of empathy usually can feel deeply in their heart. If you are an empath, guard and protect your heart at all cost. It is priceless and is needed in our world. Your compassion and love for life on earth will keep us alive. Just keep going out in the world and sharing what you can of yourself. The work you do is the silent ripple that brightens days and places hope in hearts. One person at a time can make a difference. A smile, a laugh, a moment of silence and understanding can change someone’s entire day. 

Be the chance, choosing to love is a dance.

Thank you,

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, from 2019.

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Breathing and Polarity 1/27/25

She brings good love

She brings good light

When she winds her body in the mirror at night

She brings fresh and new energy in the morning

Her hips are feeling

Loose, free and unbound

Quick on her feet and in her mind

Calculating the numbers,

The time,

The divine architecture

Noticing the body of our world

The trees in winter resembling our veins

The flow of nature

Feeling like a deep breath in

She remembers to breathe deeply

To allow the magic of the present moment

To be a gift instead of a wallowing burden

Rest, learn, and choose good love

I had known for a little while now that we were reaching a point in society where there would be an obvious display of polarity in the lives of humans today. Some would call it reaching the 5D, or the dimension that goes beyond the 3 dimensional understanding of our existence. In 5D, compassion and discernment are prevalent. While in 3D, you are bound by the ego and a constant loop of victimhood. If you are alive you have the choice to choose what to subscribe to and claim as yours. Living beyond the ideals of the current reality of society in the 5D is your own personal journey, individual but also collective. 

There are many people on a path made to coincide with yours. We are here to be a part of a greater bigger action of love, divine order. The immature division of the 3D, and the fear and hate thrown and spewed is why it is best to choose your actions and words wisely. Divine order is magical if you allow it to carry your life. Succumbing to the way the people of the world have treated us in times before is stealing from the current moment of opportunity and freedom. It is  constant work to correct the behaviors that hold us back from our divine versions of self. 

You can do it.

I’m doing it right now.

I will always choose myself.

Choosing me is choosing you.

Thank you,

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, 2018. Art class project while study Art Education at UTA.

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Accountability 1/19/25

I realize that I am inspiring because even though I have been through some very heavy, rough, and rugged lessons, I still stand tall and like no other. I am original, and my work is done from the inside. I learned what true accountability looks like when I began to show up for myself. Holding myself above the standard version of what I could be. The Me that is a victim to addiction and her emotions. I have chosen myself enough times to train and teach myself to be the woman I envisioned in the whispers of manifestations years prior. 

Excuses used to be my favorite safety net as a kid, I just couldn’t possibly be wrong. After years of seeing how annoying not taking accountability really is, I am happy to say I love taking accountability as an adult. It is the real safety net. An indestructible, love-lined and caring net, nothing is better. 

I made it to where I am by simply taking accountability for who I am, and healing the parts of me that lived through dark days at the hands of myself and others. Security is an understatement when describing how I feel now after gaining control of my ego, listening to, and being in my spirit. My heart is an extension of my efforts towards loving myself and the World. My mind loves to find patterns, thinking smarter not harder everyday. All while using the tools I have been given by God, my elders, and ancestors to develop into the woman I am. My elders knew when I arrived to the World that I would be a representation. With the counsel and help of my partner, friends and family over the years I have brought myself to exactly who I prayed for; the confident and secure version of myself. I reached her by constantly choosing to be good and do what feels good for myself, my loved ones and community. I’m sure good karma has had a hand in the peace of mind that I have maintained.

There is so much freedom outside the cage your mind has built with sticks of anxiety and nails of fear. You are less likely to sabotage yourself when you plan instead of worry and stress. I have a planner that I use like a third hand, it goes everywhere with me. It’s filled with stickers, post- it notes, and random drawings and notes. It has helped organize my life tremendously, it also has become so satisfying to pop it open. I feel safe knowing I have a tangible personalized book with all upcoming duties written in there. As a kid I was so attracted to planners and journals, but I was never consistently organized enough to keep up with it. I so badly, wanted to be able to embody my current self. My inner child would be (and is) so excited about the way I have grown a deep organizational relationship with my life through planner-keeping. Everything is real and written. 

I have hand-written manifestations for myself for years, those words have transcended the pages, and they continue to show up right on time. I believe that what happens in the spiritual takes a while to manifest into the physical. Energy and intention being a cause and the effect being what shows up in front of you. You have free will to do, see, and be who you want to be. You also have a choice to do what is best for you, so don't willingly stand in spaces that don’t align with what is best, (don’t take no disrespect). This can be energetically or physically. 

I hold myself accountable for providing a space that allows others to feel comfortable to be themselves. I do my best to do that for the World, it's the least that I could do. That looks like not unnecessarily judging others, sharing a smile and a genuine interaction. People have asked, “tell me all that you know,” when regarding my ability to (so) genuinely be myself. Not knowing that most of what I know is just a product of spending my entire life being with a love of life and its forms. From the simplicity of the veins within a leaf, or the story a tree can tell in its rings, to our veins, the DNA within them, and the stories we can tell. Our experiences are all unique, fascinating and a true gift of magic. Magic that I have found in numbers, within codes, in eyes, and in love and energy. 

Thank you for taking the time to look inside with me. I hope you continue to be a hottie by holding yourself accountable, because one thing I know is that making excuses and not holding yourself accountable looks ugly and dusty, or in other words… just simply not attractive. 

Until next time!

-Deyzya

Artwork: Tomas Sanchez

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Miracles, Storms, and the Unfathomable 1/14/25

A couple days ago it snowed through DFW. Last Thursday, I was scheduled to work and to have my Doctors appointment to refill my medication. I didn’t realize when I was forced to reschedule the first time because of their lack of professionalism, that I was going to be completely out of medicine by Friday. And due to the weather, the office was working remotely, which meant I stayed on the phone waiting for at least 2 hours. Once I finally got a hold of someone who could 1. Reschedule me AGAIN, and 2. Be understanding of the fact that it is a risk for me to go without my prescription. If you don’t know already, I have bipolar disorder. Over the years (since 2017), I have learned how to regulate and steer clear of episodes and uncontrollable mania. Particularly over the past few days I have tested what I have learned because I had 0 Lithium tablets left after that Thursday evening. I practiced being mindful of literally  everything and I allowed God to steer the way. I surrendered on that Friday, placing my struggles, my worries, and my shortcomings in God’s hands. With that, I wrote out some things I wanted to release for the upcoming Full Moon. (Also lit a white candle on 1/11 to bring in the blessings and the alignment needed to achieve God’s vision of me.) 

Fast forward to today, I finally retrieved my Lithium at around 7pm,  I cooked for the third time in the past week, and I have been cleaning everyday. Which I should mention is one of the easiest ways to connect with Source. I have gained a true liking and passion for cleaning and being orderly. Might be my Virgo Northnode, who knows.  I have also learned the easiest but most delicious baked chicken recipe, and I have been whipping up some amazing plates made with love. With my days off I made sure to use my time to bring me closer to my center, the me who is steadfast, but graceful. It is especially important since I was without my medicine Friday-Monday. One person who will always advocate for me to get my medication is my Grammy. My dad’s mother, a force of God, a true earth angel. She called and made sure I exhausted all possible ways of retrieving it.

I remember in 2019, I was up at 5 or 6am going through the beginning of one of my major manic episodes, making my way to my wood design class at UTA, but somehow got distracted by the Fraternity houses. I’m knocking at the door of a White and Red Fraternity house and guess who is randomly calling? She is, she had never called that early before. God definitely woke her out of her sleep to call me, because days later I would be admitted for the first time into a psychiatric ward. My experience in life is nothing short of… magical. And I mean that with all sincerity, I remember when I was admitted, no glasses, seeing somehow with a -4.0 vision, confused and hurt emotionally that I had found myself in a place like that. It was so cold, off-putting, uninspiring. I knew I didn’t belong there so I called my mom. And instead of empathizing with the fact that I am her daughter and in a mental facility, I screamed and cussed at her. I was so angry with a broken heart and apparently had nothing to lose.

Thankfully as the days went by, I warmed up to the facility and the delicious biscuits and gravy in the mornings. Within those days, I ended up switching rooms to be roomed with a God fearing mother named Patricia. Patricia carried around the book of Psalms, and inspired me to pick up a copy. It was one time we were having a group activity talking about gratitude, and she chose to say that she was grateful to have me as her roommate. I can’t hold back the tears, because miracles like her don’t come everyday. I remember sitting in my bed in our room, and I looked up and saw a ladybug in the florescent light above me. That’s when I knew that this was divine. Most psychiatric wards are completely human and suicide proof, and I was on the fourth floor of a hospital that was far away from the light outside. Seeing that ladybug above me helped restore my faith. One last thing I remember Patricia prophesying was that I “should do Ella Fitzgerald* covers on YouTube,” she saw me in her mind's eye using my voice in a way I am only now beginning to understand is possible. I have been practicing harmonizing, and creating ripples with my voice. It is healing for me, like sound healing from the inside. 

My Grammy is a well known singer in her church community, she’s been a voice to bring family and friends together for many years. Music has the ability to bring balance, to tune and tone the Earth. The frequencies and rhythm cause binaural waves within you. Like sand or salt forming sacred geometry due to the rhythmic pattern found in the sound near it. I didn’t know what exactly to do with this guidance Patricia gave me, but I am actively trying to figure it out. As I was singing today I reminded myself of Grammy.

I was told by another reader, a Shadowalker, or someone who has worked with their shadow to reach the true depths of their spirit and soul, that I have a future in music and sound. That was the last thing I was expecting her to say in our four minute reading session. She pulled out her “Healing with the Fairies” deck, which needs to be added to my collection, and the card she pulled was Kindness (featured picture). She then asked if I practice music, and at the time I was just beginning to take my vocals more seriously. She went on with suggestions, but it was clear that the message was that she saw me being some form of musical talent. This aligned with Patricia’s vision of me. 

I am always open to the wisdom of those who see me for who I am, a walking story with many chapters. Those chapters are filled with miracles, storms, and the unfathomable. The best part is that I love who I have allowed myself to grow into, and I wouldn’t change a single thing. Each moment has brought me to this version of me who is conscious, happy, abundant in spirit, and okay with the reality of life’s unpredictability. “A change of plans will soon test your adaptability”- from one of the fortunes I found while cleaning around the house a couple days ago. And I did have to adapt, I hadn’t been without my medication for that long in years. I have had to choose to be more careful than usual of the content I take in, and as I mentioned, be conscious of just about everything to maintain my mind and keep mania from blinding my view of reality. 

Yay for grandmothers, Lithium, and the light in mind over matter!

Thank you,

-Deyzya

Photo: The Oracle card I received from the reader, July 20th, 2024. Thanks to my friend, Alex, for inviting me to the event.

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

The Bios of Human and Machine 1/12/24

When our predecessors created and coded computers, I would imagine that they coded it the best way for us to understand it, but also for what is best for the physical body of the machine as well. Beno, our house bambino cat, hit the projector power button as she was trekking across our desk. I definitely didn’t need the projector on, so I tried turning it off before the machine got too far in its process… except no luck. It was determined (and programmed) to go through its process. Meaning I had to sit there and wait longer than a moment, which brought me to the thought: this is probably intentional. “Please press eject before removing your device,” I thought. It is almost like a built-in self-respect response for the computer. I made the connection that it also helps to prolong its longevity. The same works for us— respect for self, but at the same time respecting others, helps to promote security of self and preserving our well-being. Having respect for myself and others is me maintaining my peace and world peace.

Thank you God for clear consciousness.

You bring me such peace,

A heart at ease.

Remember to take big breaths throughout the day. Align your posture to fit what is comfortable but also good for your spine and body goals/maintenance. Practice makes perfect, but only if you do it right. Even if you have to constantly remind yourself to do right, it is better than always doing wrong. Doing wrong will cost you much more and you will only have yourself to blame.

It is 8:25 am Sunday, I was dancing around a bit so thankful that I got good sleep finally. Feels so good after having a night (and day) of broken sleep. I was working overtime on art and writing through the night at hours I usually can’t because of work and spending time with loved ones. I took advantage of this time only to end up not even using the artwork, comical honestly. I tried.. but really I was forcing it. I knew I had a better idea to pair with my written piece that Quinton so brilliantly helped with. I eventually spent unrushed time bringing the idea to life in between naps throughout the day.

Rest is necessary for a clear mind, that is why Sundays are intended for exactly that. Burn out, stress, and improper use of your body causes malfunction. Malfunction leads to sickness and disease. The human body can  tend to have issues with tumors, cysts, and forms of cancer because of the stress we let take over our lives. We have to choose ourselves, we have to say no and speak up when it is just too much. Respecting yourself promotes good health, and is a requirement for effective self-care and awareness .

My hopes, dreams, and prayers include you learning and knowing that you are worthy of love, peace, and genuine happiness. If I need to remind you, I am simply here to promote World Peace, peace within and around us all. I am actively creating peace in my internal world, so that my external world can reflect my efforts. 

Thank you,

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, on procreate.

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Numbers 1/12/25

Each of us are on a different time and sacred path. I see why everyday, how staying on our own time is beneficial for natural order. Anytime I need a reminder that we are all divinely timed and planned, I think of babies born on the same day. Birthed almost minutes apart but each have completely different life experiences. That natural order looks like doing what you can do, and performing what you were born to do with your divine time and gifts. You have a hand in the miracles God performed through us. Our heart’s rhythm alone is a force that can emit high and low frequencies, like a wavelength or tide. 

Whether you decide to help and align yourself with your time or not, it affects the world. You moving through the world is making a ripple or a wave depending on your intention within and connection with the Universe, the whole ocean itself. The chance of being born is significantly slighter than many realize or choose to appreciate. I hope we remember we are of the water itself, alive and flowing with the movement of our moon and Sun, and surrounding planets.

I enjoy science because I enjoy being able to measure and analyze the beauty of nature. I enjoy crystals and sacred shapes because they are divine. These shapes, swirls, and lines are in my fingerprints, they are a reflection of my code. The more I tend to my time here, in my life, making sound choices. Choosing to use and strengthen my voice, being creative with the challenges I face throughout the day, decentering distractions, learning and being me because life is a school. We are still here, to experience and transform. We still have work to do. And the numbers within your date of birth can help you get an idea of what you may be set here to do. 

For at least seven years I have been practicing numerology in some form. Numerology is a tool that is to be used with great discernment and introspection. It is personal, but also universal. It allows you to have an understanding of the signs around you while you walk through life. When I experience clear signs, they help me to feel guided. I know I am not walking this path alone. Angels and prayers from today and lifetimes before me carry me and light my way. 

Obedience allows you to see the most alignment. Choosing yourself, and listening to your body is a simple way to bring yourself back to your purpose. You know what you want, your body knows. Think about it, you visit a new country and your body responds well to it. Now don’t you think that’s a clear sign you align with that location? Doing what makes your body feel good, clean, and free is best to not harbor unhealthy habits. One of the easiest ways to align yourself is to move your body. Motion releases worry, I think this is why I love dance. I use my mirror to correct myself, and practice fluidity. The swift movements help me to be graceful, and allow my muscles a change of pace. 

Now onto my love for Numbers, I began learning more about my particular path by learning how to find my life path number. Once I realized our life purpose is coded in the digits of our birth I soon learned how to find life path numbers without a calculator. I would go through life, asking others if they knew their life-path number. They would usually say no, and I would ask their complete DOB and go on adding up the digits in the month and day, then add all the digits in the year given. Then add the sum of the month and day and the sum of digits in the year of their birth to bring me to either two digits that are then added together to be one, or just one number that is their life path number.

Over time I learned more about the significance of numbers 0-9 and that each one has its own purpose. 9 is a magic number to me, it is also my life path number. It is a number that I learned from a friend at a time in 2018-19’, that can be treated as a 0 in most cases, it is also the number that encompasses all the numbers before it. That may be why life-path 9’s are called the “Humanitarians.” We care about All, and it comes at a fault, which is also why we are constantly going through rebirth, like earth. No number is better than another, each one is needed to achieve harmony.

I have been studying about the Golden Ratio, aka the Fibonacci Sequence, aka the Spiral that is found in fossils, plants, and our DNA. It really is fascinating seeing the divine shape of the world, the life form. I hope we all learn to see the beauty in the divine code within and around us. I hope we follow it and allow harmony to win. It feels good stirring in my heart, that is what I want for us all. It may not happen all at once, but it will be right on time. 

Thank you,

-Deyzya

Artwork: roving.stars

[thepleasureofconsciousness]

Individuality 1/5/25

“Individuality… is what I like to call it,” Dad agreed with something I was talking about on the phone earlier this morning. It hit me that this would be the title of my newest post. It stuck out like a yellow flower in a field of rich red roses. I remember the wallpapers for Windows computers, there was one that I can recall from my family's desktop computers years ago.  

Choosing to be an individual has been my toughest and most rewarding battle to reach my highest potential. You have to be the one to stand up for yourself, however that looks like. At least trying to have respect for your feelings and autonomy is giving your best effort towards reaching the version of you with no worries. That’s what should be achieved because I’ve found that worrying is stress/fear that turns into body complications and weakened immune systems. 

It breaks my heart to see our society continuously subscribe to fear mongering thoughts and behaviors simply because the ego knows no world where there is a simple solution. A world where consciously breathing and focusing on tinkering and practicing in your internal world can show up as peace being practiced in your physical world. I believe that is how that “individual” shows up. 

Subscribing to your inner child, strengthening your mind for self care, and enjoying life is what I hope for you. 

I should mention: as of recently gratitude has helped me appreciate life and keep me present. The simplicity of being grateful for the small things lets me see the world with more love than stress. 

Worry doesn’t belong to us

Fear and stress steal from the mind,

Then the body

They steal the ability to ego life

Transmute them

And allow yourself to enjoy this life

Dare to see a positive solution

Choose peace

Choose to be grateful and

Embrace the gift of not being the ultimate judge

Exist and enjoy

Your life is chosen.

You have the ability to help and assist your mind to a more peaceful place if you allow yourself to. But of course, only if you want to, true power comes from multiple points aligning within to give out the energy Source is here to provide through you.

My individuality is in that. I have been following the light force energy for years now, it feels free and expansive. My spirit, my mind, and my body are all choosing to be strong and align myself to my truest light form. That choice came with muscle memory and practice of course. I allow the dark of my past experiences to be my practice in transmutation. Working through those moments has helped me be emotionally intelligent and patient. 

I read a lot, and I’ve pretty much always read a lot. I won’t say that I always finish cover to cover, but I definitely am opening a book and gaining wisdom daily. As an empathic person, I gain my wisdom to bring clarity. The clarity that makes me feel at home with myself. I highly recommend, “Thriving as an Empath,” by Judith Orloff, M.D. I have always loved books, this is part of where my individuality began. I loved being able to fall into a dramatic story, with some juicy moments on the couch; silent (or laughing) on the outside, but envisioning a whole new world on the inside.

What make you feel individual?

Thanks for stopping by,

-Deyzya

Artwork: Deyzya, on procreate, from original piece created in 2019.