thepookainthehat

[thepookainthehat]

As a zoologist and a Batman fan, I frequently think about how much of a nightmare working at the Gotham zoo would be.

The damn rogues gallery breaking in all the time to steal the animals for various plots and schemes. I’d start leaving notes up for the villains,

“The Penguin, this vulture is on anti-biotics for the next 5 days. If you are going to steal the bird, please take the bottle of pills with you.”

“Catwoman, Sasha the female Amur tiger has a vet appointment on Thursday. Please return her by then.”

[thepookainthehat]

The best restraint tool in vet med is a towel, hands down. Do you know how many things I’ve restrained with a towel?

Angry cat? Burrito it.

Scared bunny? Burrito it.

Tiny squish faced dog that you cant get a muzzle on? Burrito it.

Screaming macaw? Burrito it.

Injured wildlife? Burrito it.

I burritoed an arctic fox today. Last week it was a cormorant. Before that it was a blue heron. When in doubt, burrito it.

[thepookainthehat]

We need to bring back the athletics body type post

[thepookainthehat]

A few years ago I worked for a movie store. I don't still have my notes, but in the time when I was curious, I believe I worked out that Disney has controlling interest over about 1/3 of global entertainment media.

The history of the Disney company is so fucking fascinating and complicated that I could spend the rest of my life studying it.

I hate the company. I love the media. I want it to burn. I was profoundly shaped as a person by some of the art its workers have produced. It’s evil. It’s beautiful. It’s an eldritch horrorterror personified as a charismatic mouse. It’s a nightmarish example of capitalist hell. It destroys as much as it creates. It’s a flaming trainwreck. I can’t look away.

It’s the goddamn Elephant’s Foot of media studies.

[thepookainthehat]

“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

[thepookainthehat]

- Jay walking is a civic sport. Yes, Metropolis says that it is too, but Gotham is the "Australian Rules" of Jaywalking, since literal rocket powered cars come by most evenings.

- The raccoons of Gotham may be an actual organized crime ring. This was going to be an exaggeration, but with the number of mad scientists who get 9/10 of the way to their goals before they get thwarted, the every day city problem of raccoons has probably been bootstrapping itself.

- The civic tradition of bike shrines and similar has been turned up to eleven, with corners bedecked with flowers and portraits of those who didn't make it through supervillain interactions.

Gotham City Headcanons

Chat, I promise I'll make Scene kid Damian soon, but for the past week, I have been thinking about weird city habits that I think would exist within Gotham (and wish people would include in Batman fics).

The city I live in isn't super big, but I've traveled quite a bit, and there's stuff like this in most cities that ABSOLUTELY would happen in gotham, Here's a list.

Kia Boys. I guarantee you CANT own a Kia in gotham without it being broken into and stolen. This is a pretty common thing in some cities and its known that if you bring a kia into the city, you need to buy a wheel lock or else that car is no longer yours

people using those fuckass Electric rental scooters to escape the Bats. I've seen police chases with those scooters irl. People are absolutely dumb enough to try to outscoot the Batmobile

Cheap cultural food. Gotham has a pop of 6.5 million (At least in Arkham knight). I wish people explored that more in fics, I'd imagine most of them would grow up eating Chinese, Ethiopian, indian, Italian, etc. Gotham is a MASSIVE city, look me in the eyes and tell me there wouldn't be a diverse food culture as well

DIY SHOWS!!!! This is so niche but I love the idea of the batboys sneaking out to go to concerts in random basments with local bands named things like "Scared Crows" or "Concrete Waste" or random shit. and with the amt of crazy things in Gotham, you KNOW the underground scene would go crazy there

The experience of your favorite restaurant having a car driven through it. Enough said.

The beef between people in Gotham proper and Gotham suburbs and the debate of if they're "real" Gothamites

Idk how to phrase this but I'd like to think that out of towners underestimate the toxcitiy and danger of gotham harbor, so every summer some transplant tries to swim in the harbor and ends up with radiation poisoning

A THRIVING DRAG AND QUEER SCENE.

Gotham is an old enough city that most buildings most likely don't have AC. Even businesses struggle to get AC because these buildings just weren't designed for it.

On that note, during heatwaves, people will work together to open the fire hydrant taps to use as sprinklers

People racing at intersections at night and releasing firecrackers/firecrackers into the street

Ok this is all i can think of right now, but if anyone else has any City-ism that would exist in Gotham, please add.

[thepookainthehat]

Okay guys I want everyone to hear me out on this one okay? Bruce may be rich but he was still raised in new jersey. I need you all to know the only reason he doesn't act or sound like it is because he was raised in high society. I need you to know that I firmly believe his internal monolog in no way matches any actual words he says out loud or anything he would actually do.

*the JL arguing over how to go about getting information from some criminal*

Hal: okay and how would YOU go about this spooky?

Bruce, in his head: I say we force the information out of him, light him on fire and throw him in the harbor, where he will continue to burn because Gotham is a shit hole and the water is so polluted we have to out source water for the fire fighters.

Bruce, actually speaking: we follow protocol and turn him over to whatever law enforcement that has jurisdiction over him.

*bruce and Clark arguing over something petty in their personal lives*

Clark, trying to end the fight somewhat amicably: I just don't love it, but I will respect your opinion on the matter

Bruce, in his head: and I 'just don't love' that you're acting like a little bitch about it BUT HERE WE ARE FUCK FACE

Bruce, out loud: Hn, let's move on

*batfam comms during a slow night*

Dick: do you think the rogues finally figured out that they could spend their time doing something more productive to avoid getting their asses kicked?

Bruce, internally: i doubt they'd be able to figure that shit out if it jerked them off and bit them in the ass

Jason, three blocks over: are you fucking kidding me? Most of them wouldn't be able to figure that out if it came to them as a swift kick to the head, let alone a stray fucking thought

Bruce: hood, language.

Bruce, internally: that's my fucking boy :)

[thepookainthehat]

The three-ring binder is the apex of book technology, by the way. All the advantages of a codex, plus you can add, remove, and reorder pages at will - pages which you can furthermore protect from damage in transparent sleeves, and store commentaries, notes, and other paratextual addenda behind them without obscuring the primary content. Truly the queen of codices. Reblog if you love the three-ring binder.

[thepookainthehat]

Dating Disney: Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast features my favorite love story and my favorite Disney Princess, so it holds a very special spot in my heart. So, it’s worth looking into the film to decide when the Movie is supposed to be set.

During the opening musical number “Belle”, Belle is telling the Baker about the book she’s been reading. She’s clearly describing Jack and the Beanstalk, the earliest version being the tale of “Jack Spriggins and the Enchanted Bean” in 1734. But she also deliberately mentions an ogre, not a giant. Near as I could find, the only version with an ogre was written by Joseph Jacobs in 1890, making Belle nearly contemporary to modernity. Belle’s excitement over the book is likely a sign that this is a new story.

During the same musical number, we see a sign depicting a tobacco pipe, but unlike with the Calabash pipe from the Little Mermaid movie. I could place it to possibly be a Billiard type, but the exact era of creation escapes me. However, tobacco pipes have been around as long as Tobacco has been introduced to European trade, starting in the 16th century.

The history of colored printing goes as far back as the 16th century, and there are illustrations from the early 1700s with an impressive variety of color that help establish a stronger time period. The book also shows the words Le Prince Charmant or Prince Charming. Prince Charming started being used in 1697 in Charles Perrault’s version of Sleeping Beauty, although there, Prince Charming was not a name. Rather, Perrault stated that the Prince was charmed by her words. The first story to use Prince Charming as a name is the Tale of Pretty Goldilocks. It was written at some point in the 17th Century by Madame d’Aulnoy, but in her version the hero was named Avenant. It wasn’t until 1889 when Andrew Lang retold the story that Avenant was dubbed as Charming. One year later in 1890, Oscar Wilde used the term “Prince Charming” sarcastically in his novel “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, meaning that the term had gotten its more modern meaning by this point in time.

Gaston’s musket is a Blunderbuss, which was invented in the early 1600′s and remained popular through the 18th century before falling out of fashion in the middle of the 19th century. However, considering Belle states that this is a backwards town and Gaston is an old-fashioned, Primeval man, it’s possible he’s using a largely outdated weapon.

While there are no street lamps in the city, we can see in the background lanterns on the sides of buildings, which might allude to the movie taking place before the invention of gas lamps. However, gas lamps were invented in 1809, and if the version of Jack and the Beanstalk is from 1890, then by all accounts the town should have gas lamps. What this amounting evidence is leading me to believe is that the film is directly following the plot of the original fairy tale.

In the story, Beauty’s father is a merchant who loses his fortune due to a storm destroying his cargo. They’re forced to live on a farm until the merchant stumbles upon the Beast’s castle and kick starts the plot. In the opening song, Belle says “every morning’s just the same, since the morning that we came, to this poor, provincial town.” This could mean that she grew up in a much more modern, urban, and progressive town. Possibly even Paris. But that after Maurice suffered severe financial trouble, he was forced to move them to the small, backwards town that was practically living an entire century behind the rest of France, which is why she’s so bored and unimpressed by the little town. It helps explain why she’s so eager to want to get out of this town and see the world. She wants to be part of the modern world again.

Interestingly, I can support this theory with background information. According to some of my research, Belle’s village was based on the little town of Riquewihr, France, which still looks like it did in the 16th century to this day. So the idea that Belle’s little village lacks so many modern elements could be a nod to the architecture of this sleepy French village that has remained largely untouched by the march of time. Hence why it looks more like something out of the 1700s despite the many elements from the 1800s being present.

During the song “Be Our Guest”, Lumiere dances with a match stick. Match sticks were invented in 1805. Assuming the film still takes place in the 1890s, this would be concurrent with the other evidence we’ve seen thus far. Later in the same song, the silverware makes an Eiffel tower, which was constructed in 1889. Since Jack and the Beanstalk was written after that, it still fits within the suspected time frame.

During the climax of the battle, Cogsworth is wearing military garments reflective of Napoleonic styles. Napoleon was coronated in 1804 until 1814, had a brief return to power in 1815, and eventually died in 1821. So this is also congruent to the established time period.

In the Youtube Video “Fashion Expert Fact Checks Belle from Beauty and the Beast’s Costumes” by Glamour, April Calahan, a Fashion Historian from the Fashion Institute of Technology directly noted that Belle’s yellow gown lacks the shape of a proper 18th century dress, and more closely resembles the shape of 19th century dresses, fitting into the evidence that’s been mounting in support of a late 19th century setting.

As a part of his primary costume, Lefou wears a waistcoat and tailcoats, which came into vogue in the 1800s, namely from the 1840s through the 1850s.

But if the film is set in the 1800s, how can the Beast still be a prince after the French Revolution? Well something worth noting is that when he finds out that Belle isn’t coming to dinner, the Beast storms through the halls to her room as Cogsworth calls after him as “Your Eminence” and “Your Grace”. The address of “Your Eminence” is reserved for Cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church, and is an ecclesiastical style of address. “Your Grace” is noticeably an English style of address, but it’s being used by Cogsworth who is British, so I can chalk that up to just part of his culture. Although it was used for British monarchs, it fell out of use during the reign of King Henry VIII (1509-1547) and after that, the use of “Your Grace” became used to address archbishops and non-royal Dukes and Duchesses. Now clearly the Beast is not a cardinal or a bishop, especially if he is looking for the love of a woman to make him human, since it’s forbidden for Catholic priests to marry. So clearly that is not what is meant here. But the other answer actually does hold a bit of weight. Beast’s father was in fact, a Duke. So how is the Beast a prince? He’s not. Not entirely. See, there’s more than one kind of Prince in French nobility. There’s a Prince du Sang, or a Prince by Blood. Effectively, the Crown Prince, the sons of ruling monarchs. But the title is also given to lords in charge of a Principality, one of the smallest territorial sizes. The Beast’s principality probably only extends to having power over the little unnamed village. And with it being after the revolution, Beast might not even have the proper use of his title anymore. He’s effectively a rich kid in a fancy house with no real authority or power. He’s just old money from a by-gone era of human history. But if Beast’s address of “Your Grace” is accurate, that would mean that he’s a non-royal Duke, meaning he would not likely have been executed during the Revolution, as his family would have essentially been governors or senators than actual monarchs. They just had jurisdiction over a small piece of the Kingdom of France and reported back to and obeyed the orders of their King. Thus, he would not have been important enough to be killed or chased out of power by the townsfolk.

CONCLUSION

The movie is set between the late autumn and early-to-mid winter of 1890. Although the snow is gone when Belle returns to the village, the trees are still bare, signaling that it may just be unseasonably warm, though it could be the very early spring of 1891 between the receding of the snow and the blossoming of new spring foliage. Between the books, clothing, and references made, my conclusion is that Belle is a very modern girl living in a backwards little town stuck in the past, thus why a village in 1890 looks so completely lacking in modern technology despite the era. The Prince is nothing more than a fancy title as the son of a Duke, and he likely has very little if any actual government authority. Essentially, Belle married into wealth, not power, and will never be a proper queen, and I’m not sure if the wife of a lord ruling a principality is a princess or not, but I suspect the answer is no. Making Belle, like Mulan, a Disney Princess who did not marry royalty, was not born royalty, and thus, cannot be called a Disney Princess. She’s definitely a noblewoman, but she’s not royal by any means.

SETTING: Riquewihr, France

KINGDOM: The French Republic (France)

YEAR: Autumn, 1890 - Spring, 1891

PERIOD: The Third Republic (1870-1940)

LANGUAGE: French

[thepookainthehat]

People cling to their hatred because they prefer the idea that if they eat and exercise right, say their prayers, and recycle, they will be spared the consequences of chance and genetics. These bad people are contemptible, unlike us, who are good.

The truth is misfortune can occur to anyone. And so the people who "didn't have it coming" get sympathy or pity. The people who "had it coming" can be scorned.

The people who smoked and got cancer shouldn't have gotten cancer either.

damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

[thepookainthehat]

They are fluffy!

Tumblr is the only website where you have to do historical research before making a joke so you don't get pulverized in the comments for inaccuracy

[thepookainthehat]

My dog's really a study in Buddhism. He can see my muffin wrapper and he's miserable. Crying. He needs to eat my muffin wrapper so bad.

I get up and throw it away. He forgets about it immediately and happily goes to sleep.

You are not sad because you do not have a muffin wrapper, my beautiful boy, you are sad because you want the muffin wrapper.

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[thepookainthehat]

A good rule of thumb for AI is "would you trust a trained pigeon to do this?"

"We trained a pigeon to recognise cancerous cell clusters and somehow they're really good at it" okay great, that's something that could plausibly be a thing.

"We trained a pigeon to recognise good CV:s and left it in charge of sorting through all our job applications" uh perhaps consider not doing that.