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theprismyyy · 22 hours

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NAT ANGST I THOUGHT ABOUT

Tw-flashback about Nats shitty dad, safe word use, mention of abuse, and she gets very scared and the end is sort of hurt/comfort

Thought of it being one of the first times nat and R have sex and they’re still figuring out each others kinks and their dynamic(s). nat going into it like “willing to try almost anything” but then quickly realizing that verbal degradation takes a lot out of her and it can trigger a fight or flight response in her :((((

“uhh- fuck, RED! Sorry, fuck, i’m sorry, please stop, i can’t, please don’t touch me right now, i just need a minute, sorry”

her rushing to the bathroom with wide and frantic eyes gripping the sink trying to tell herself to get it together but she can’t get rid of the memories of her dad. The second her brain processed the words “little slut”, she felt the weight of the gun in her hands, the powerlessness of watching her dad hit her mom and then hitting her, the way she felt like her pain was limitless when he called her stupid and useless, she couldn’t get out of her head. As r approached the door wondering if it’d be helpful to go in with her or stay out here, nat quickly barges through, grabbing her clothes from around your room, avoiding eye contact the entire time.

“Listen, um, it’s been real and uh..i like you a lot, but i just remembered a thing i gotta do so i’ve gotta head out. I didn’t mean to give you blue balls or anything, but i’ll see you.”

She didn’t even believe the shit she was saying…tears were still coming down her face the whole time she was talking and she tried to give you a quick “smile” and kissed you on the cheek, but even someone without a working olfactory sense could smell the bullshit from miles away. Next time you see her, she goes out of her way to explain why she freaked out last time. Lottie had encouraged her to talk about her feelings instead of running away. Had it been up to her, she would’ve moved to another continent to avoid talking about her feelings. But she really wanted to make things work with you.

“I don’t know. I guess i had kind of a shitty life with my parents and everything and uh. I guess i just got.. scared? I was really, really scared. It like. Brought me back to somewhere i didnt wanna be.”

She doesn’t get into detail at all, but you get the gist of it well enough to understand. You apologize, thinking maybe if you had asked her in depth about what she was comfortable with, she wouldn’t have freaked out. You like her SO much. And you’d never knowingly do anything to hurt her.

Then the weeks after she talks to you, she turns into the biggest cuddlebug ever. She won’t admit it, of course, but she feels safe around you. That hasn’t happened for her in forever. A part of her is scared shitless by it, but she lets herself indulge in the simple pleasures of being held and holding people she cares about. You’re there to hold her when nat has a nightmare one night, shushing her cries and whispering to her that it’s just a bad dream and that she’s safe with you. Oh my god i love her.

oh mygod :(((((((((((( the second she says red, you stop immediately and your heart sinks. the last thing you ever wanted to do was hurt her and you feel SO guilty and ur minds racing a million miles a second while she's in the bathroom ☹️ you text her a few times after, asking if she's okay, but she never responds so you get the hint to just leave her alone but you feel sick and sosososo bad.

thinking about her sneaking into your window to come and apologize :((( you're so happy to see her again and relived to know that she doesnt actually hate you, and you give her all the time in the world to just sit in silence and figure out what to say. holding her while you two sleep that night and she's never felt safer and more secure ☹️☹️

sometimes she just needs to hold you for hours just to calm down too :((( her head gets to her sometimes and she just Needs you. ur always there to whisper reassurance in her ear and she feels like a fool for crying at the simple words but they help so much.

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theprismyyy · 3 days

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