thepsychiatristgirl - Tumblr blog

thepsychiatristgirl · 4 days

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that pottermore line combined with the way he says “my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them” will haunt me for the rest of my days

and "bet my parents thought regulus was a right little hero for joining up at first" which implies that sirius at least partially blames their parents for the path regulus chose and where he ended up (dead)

then this quote: "i doubt regulus was ever important enough to be killed by voldemort in person" which is, first of all, such a sibling thing to say 😭 (even more so a bitter one) and second, implies that sirius doesn't think or doesn't want to think regulus was integrated enough into the death eaters to have caught the favor or attention of the leader

and oh don't forget "from what i found after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. well, you don't just hand in your resignation to voldemort. it's a lifetime of service or death" which. god don't even get me started. there's so much to unpack here bc first, this implies that sirius either A) went looking to find out what happened to regulus, meaning that despite everything, he cared enough about regulus to try and get answers, or B) he learned this some other way we'll never know about, meaning that whatever his reaction was will always be a total fucking mystery, BUT he did at some point learn that regulus wanted to leave the death eaters, even if he never learned why. which leads to the next part of that quote, where he says that there is no way out, once you're in, you're in, or you die. this means sirius either knew or later discovered regulus had made a choice at only sixteen that it's implied and inferred he was encouraged to make by essentially everyone around him (except for sirius), a choice he could not take back, a very huge life decision that quite literally got him killed. at sixteen. only a year older than his godson, who he's telling all of this to in the first place. and like, whatever you may think about how sirius felt about that, it can't change that sirius was aware of this fact.

if u expect me to think sirius "the world isn't split into good people and death eaters/if you want to know what a man's like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals/he [crouch sr] should've gotten to know his own son/he [crouch jr] might've been in the wrong place at the wrong time" black wouldn't have had feelings about regulus and what happened to regulus, you're insaneeee. like hello???

anyway. many many many thoughts about sirius' feelings for regulus in canon. and what a fucking tragedy those two are. ill never get over it.

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thepsychiatristgirl · 5 days

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*white knuckling the bathroom sink* do NOT infodump ppl about the fact that the first spn fic was a wincest one and that it was posted mere hours after the pilot and that the founder of ao3 was a wincestie and that the first fic on ao3 was wincest too and that the omegaverse as we know it was created by wincest shippers for jared/jensen fics *pointing at myself in the mirror with a shaky hand* ppl will think you're weird and off-putting you need to control yourself–

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thepsychiatristgirl · 6 days

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obsessed with sirius being effortlessly intelligent and getting top marks without even skimming through his notes, his essays always longer than they needed to be. obsessed with sirius being effortlessly handsome and clever, a witty remark always on the tip of his tongue. obsessed with sirius being loyal through the end and loving like a dog, never expecting anything in return. obsessed with sirius being alluring yet vulnerable around those he truly loves, because only then can he let his guard down and be himself. obsessed with quiet sirius, who gives a smirk or an eye roll for an answer, yet there are some people he can’t help but ramble around, because there’s always something to talk about to with the boy with glasses and unruly hair. obsessed with the mischievous glint in sirius’ eyes when they come up with yet another brilliant idea and with his resilience. obsessed with sirius and the ambition he has in himself, the determination he has when he wants to achieve something. obsessed with sirius finding comfort and a home and being more than those he loves and those he left behind, in his past. obsessed with sirius black.

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thepsychiatristgirl · 6 days

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uncle alphard

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thepsychiatristgirl · 6 days

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smart sirius black headcanons to balance out the other people who feel the need to dumb him down to make remus intelligent (both can be intellectually cultivated!)

really good at debating and, if the class piques his interest, he will debate with anyone about anything. his favourite person to debate with is lily evans; he likes watching her rile up

stem person. he’s particularly good at maths

made up a lot of the spells that were used in creating the marauders’ map (both he and james were into spell-making)

extremely good at writing essays; most of them tend to be quite a bit over the required length and bring a lot additional information

however, he prefers the practical approach, and he’s extremely skilled, especially in casting spells and

reads as a hobby

extremely talented at wandless and nonverbal magic. he had it mastered a long time before he was taught it, and he surprised his charms and defence against the dark arts teacher with the ease wandless and nonverbal magic came to him

horace slughorn tried to recruit him into the slug club, but he declined (he found the idea boring and unappealing, especially being around members of the society he disliked)

a particularly skilled duellist, even when he moves with grace and elegance through the battlefield

experimented with runes (both tattoos and on his wand) and charmed his wand so that only he could use it if he placed his fingers on it a certain way

charmed his bike (he made it bigger than it was before) and he did the work to make it fly

highly developed critical thinking skills

great strategist

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thepsychiatristgirl · 13 days

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i love it when authors make sirius only a little bit ‘cool’, but almost in the lucius malfoy-kind of pretty way. he may be a rebel but he’s still posh and vaguely traditional. his pronunciation becomes unbearably ‘stiff upper lip’ when he’s emotional. he wears his hair long because his father and grandfather also kept it long, because it’s tradition for wizards who are of age. he wears jewellery because wizards wear jewellery, not just witches, and the look of it is great. his tattoos, if he even has them, are runes like the old magicals used to have. he only wears muggle clothes when he has to because the feeling of denim makes his entire body cringe. he smokes cigarettes but would rather smoke a pipe.

sirius black, whose rebellion is purely political, utterly ideological, and not rooted into aesthetic like what this generation is so obsessed with. he appreciates modern and muggle things because they’re interesting and fun, not lesser, but he’ll always prefer dragonhide over cow leather. his favourite leather jacket is just a transfigured outer robe for the motorbike, for the off-chance that he rides it on the roads and needs to look the part.

he can be an activist and argue for muggle and muggleborn rights while dressed like a wizard. let him be as whimsical! let him be utterly out of his depth when he needs to blend in! he can be woke AND dressed all fancy please!! ideological rebellion is a mindset NOT the way you dress omfg

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thepsychiatristgirl · 13 days

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Baby-Black-Brothers 💕

Here’s something I drew today for many reasons:

1. I wanted to distract myself from everything that I have to do for Uni 🫠 (pls help me)

2. I wanted to try out new Brushes i recently found 🌟

3. (and most importantly) @spookeart requested a HAPPY (!!!) Black-Brothers drawing without it being sad and just them bickering around … so this one’s for you🫶🏼

Now I will vanish in the void again… lets see when I’ll be back my guys

till then… hugs and kisses ✨🌙

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thepsychiatristgirl · 13 days

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I have no idea where did it come from. It is quick and messy but I wanted to draw it But this art goes with a song Fountains of Wayne - Too Cool For School

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thepsychiatristgirl · 13 days

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//nsfw

i feel like remus would have an an insane libido LIKE its great bc regulus is a lil slut but he also has a frail little sickly victorian child streak so he gets sad when he can’t keep going anymore and remus still have a few rounds left in him LMAO

also its very funny bc sweet, wholesome remus being secretly horny as hell makes me giggle

Okay okay so like age gap moonwater because aged salt and pepper Remus is so ahhhhh. It’s the first time the two are sleeping together and Barty kept making jokes to Reg about his older boyfriend who will need it gentle so he doesn’t break a hip. Regulus scolds him every time but in his head he is considering it, he’s going to have a lot more energy than Remus is and will probably need to be on top most of the time. So he goes over to Remus’s home and they make out, clothes come off, Reg is on his knees like a good boy giving Remus some slow but deep head, taking him into is throat and allowing Remus to thrust into his mouth as he pleases. He means for it to only be foreplay but before he knows it, Remus is holding him down and finishing his mouth. Reg is admittedly disappointed but Remus is pulling him up and licking into his mouth to taste himself on Regs tongue. They fall back onto the bed and Reg is getting lost in their make out session. Before he knows it, Remus’s hard cock is grinding against him surprising him at the older’s refractory period. It’s not much longer before Regulus is on his back and filled to the brim with cock. Remus is huge and he has his just as huge hand pressing on his stomach, making every sensation stronger and no doubt enjoying the bulge that presses against his palm. He’s finishing again in Reg and without giving him a second to breathe is down, face pressed into his pussy sucking on his clit and licking the cum out of him. Reg is writhing on the bed, brain unable to keep up with what is happening. Reg finished twice on Remus’s tongue when he gets his reprieve. Remus stands and he’s hard for the third time. Reg has to ask for a break though he’s barely conscious and doesn’t think he can take any more. He’s upset and wants to but his body is giving out. They go to bed and Reg is woken up with Remus’s morning wood against the small of his back. He rides Remus slow and they get up for breakfast. It’s not until Reg is bent over the breakfast table with dirty dishes stacked in front of him that he realizes being stuffed like this is about to become a regular thing for him. And he’s not mad about it.

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thepsychiatristgirl · 23 days

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okay so im like. spiralling about your prongsfoot post about the paintings of the dog chasing the stag. and its like ive been a prongsfoot fan for YEARS at this point like ive literally spent hours charting the intricacies of their relationship in my head but SOMEHOW i missed what you said and ive been spiralling ever since. what you said was like ... 'think about WHY james' patronus is a stag and sirius' is a dog' and that completely made me want to eat my own hands holy shit sorry if i sound incoherent im like .... what the fuck oh my god so what im trying to say is if you could like just rant about this more or like talk more in depth/give your opinions/analysis about why james is a prey animal and why sirius SPECIFICALLY was chosen to be the hound i would like ... be forever grateful holy shit im sorry if im not making sense

Oh so glad you enjoyed it. Before I further indulge (and I am going to INDULGE, I am a wellspring of folklore and religious knowledge and you asked so buckle up for an essay), I went through my blog and tagged all the times I've mentioned it, before this. So, check out the tag "prongsfoot animal form meta," for everything I've said up until this point.

ANYWAY. This is actually super relevant to my current line of thought--I teach a writing class which just ended this month, and picks up again in Jan. (People interested, DM me!) I was doing lesson plans for the upcoming session and putting together a class on retelling mythology/fairy tales, and there's a significant section on animal transformation in these contexts. So I was percolating on this even before I started rereading Harry Potter and going insane over Prongsfoot! Synchronicity!

So one of the things I plan to talk about is that IF you're going to make the choice to have a character who is turned into an animal, you MUST consider the existing cultural narratives, connotations, and literary symbolism surrounding the animal itself. JKR is VERY good at this, and does everything with a tremendous amount of intention, so she would absolutely be considering these wider implications with Sirius and James's Patronuses/Anamagi forms.

So without further ado, let's look at Stags and Dogs, specifically within the contest of a European/Christian/Celtic lens since that's likely where she was drawing from.

The Stag: Aside from the usual--proud patriarch, haughty, mysterious embodiment of glory and majesty, masculine energy, the spirit of the forest etc-- stags across numerous European mythologies are heavily associated with divinity, between-states, and the underworld. In some traditions they're seen as messengers between the spirit realm and the material realm(all of this seems relevant seeing as James is dead but lives on in Harry, and in the memory of those who either loved and revered him, or reviled and resented him). In Celtic mythology specifically Stags are seen as being God-like, or an earthly manifestation of the divine/a symbol of Spiritual Authority. This feels so significant wrt to my prior discussion of James as a Folk Saint in the Harry Potter canon: a man who was just a man in life but who has come to symbolize something much bigger than that, a larger than life symbol for both Harry and Sirius .

But then we also have to look outside symbolic and literary tradition and at the animal itself--deer are prey animals. The stag's antlers (Prongs) are a defensive weapon. Part of their mystery and majesty is no doubt because they're flighty. Rare to see and pin down, difficult to hunt and kill. Animals kill them for food but humans hunt them specifically for their beauty: their heads and antlers. They're hunted, perused and desired both by man, and beast.

Again in Celtic mythology, Antlers are a symbol of virility, fertility, and masculine strength--to kill a stag and wear or display those antlers is to have shown mastery of (and interest in) the divine masculine. Furthermore, in Christian traditions antlers, due to their nature of shedding velvet every year, are connected to rebirth, regenerative prowess, and everlasting life. Stags in Medieval bestiaries and Christian manuscripts are often symbolic depictions of Christ himself, trampling out sin and the devil under his hooves. And if we consider Christ, we also must consider everything that comes along with him...spring! Light! Goodness! Etc! All he represents to Harry (and Sirius). I think its safe to say narratively James exists as a sort of Diety to Sirius (and Harry).

The Dog: Generally dogs tend to connote loyalty, obedience, true-heartedness, steadfast love, and muzzled power. They're domesticated versions of a once wild animal, which always suggests the capability for a loss of control, and emphasizes their faithfulness, the fact they choose to restrain their natures our of love. They are, of course, historically used by people to hunt, protect, guard, and as companions.

I also think its important to look at the type of dog JKR describes Sirius as--he's not just any dog, he's an enormous black dog. The grim isn't a Harry Potter universe specific myth, Black Dogs are a common symbol across mythologies, notable in English Folklore as harbingers of death. They're associated with crossroads and hallowed ground, and are often depicted in graveyards or during storms as a dreaded portent. They're usually seen as sinister or evil, but sometimes are referred to as guardians of the underworld or protectors during travel, assisting people in passage, or even trickster beasts or faerie hounds, more playful than malevolent. BUT I think its worth looking at the "evil" aspect --sometimes Black Dogs are seen as hellhounds or embodiment of the Devil. And remember what we said about James, Stags, and Christ.

We should also look at Sirius's namesake in mythology: Sirius the dogstar, the brightest star in the sky, part of the constellation Canis Major. In many magical and witchcraft traditions, the point at which Sirius is highest in the sky (what we call the Dog Days of summer, longest and hottest days of the year), is considered a magically charged time when the veil is thin and transformation is attainable. In Ozark Folk Magic especially, the Dog Days ruled by Sirius are considered the most auspicious time to exact revenge, do baneful magic, and engage in gluttony or wild, animalistic behavior and shapeshifting sorcery--there's magic in those hot summer nights, a sort of canine bacchanalia. This seems relevant to Sirius the character and the Marauders in general, that he is the embodiment of summertime wildness, pleasure, and again--loss of control. Consider domestication: dogs as power, sharp teeth, predatory instincts, but willfully restrained at the hands of their master, who they revere like a deity, and are loyal to.

But let's also look at Dogs in Christianity--in early Biblical texts they're viewed as unholy and unclean. Beggars, with the potential for violence. But in manuscripts and bestiaries they're sometimes depicted as symbols of fidelity and purity, or even healing: ie, the dog licking its wounds representing the power of prayer to redeem sin, thus making them a fraught, complex figure, with potential for redemption in a Christian context. Pair this with the Stag: the dog is a scavenger begging for scraps from god, but also, his loyal servant.

So let's look at these together: Stags and Dogs actually have a lot in common. They're both regarded as spiritual beings connected to the afterlife and specifically the underworld and death. This is significant because these characters are enormous presences in Harry's story in part because of the tremendous impact their deaths make, as non negotiable sacrifices in the war brought back temporarily by the resurrection stone. As a series, Harry Potter is largely about death--its culmination is entitled the Deathly Hallows and one of its major conflicts is that Voldemort is trying to best and cheat death by achieving immortality, which has thrown the entire magical world out of harmony and balance. Harry allowing his loved ones to die and embracing his own death is the means by which Voldemort is defeated, and also is a pivotal part of Harry's arc--an arc that begins with James's death, is punctuated by Sirius's, and terminated by Harry's--a trinity: father, son, holy ghost. It's not an accident James and Sirius are depicted as animals connected to both life, and the afterlife.

They also compliment each other in a yin yang/diametrically opposed but necessary opposites way--predator vs prey, fertility vs death, rebirth vs omen, light vs dark, Christ vs the Devil, spring vs summer etc. JKR is obsessed with literary parallels and complimentary pairs. Just look at Voldemort and Harry, who are the same in many ways, but also opposites, iterations of each other but in direct conflict: as the prophecy said, "neither can live while the other survives." This union of resisting but complimentary elements is so intrinsic to her writing, and also demands the reader consider how the power or balance might flip had he situation been different. Ie, if Voldemort lived under differing circumstances or made differing choices, would he have become what he became? and if Harry lived under his own differing circumstances and made his own differing choices, would he have been a hero after all? In JKR's world people are people, neither black nor white but the undifferentiated grey potential, where environments and events shape us into who we really are, who we choose to be. Thus, we're forced to examine the same what if, what could have been with James and Sirius: in a different world could they have been something else to each other?

They're also worth looking at with the capability for a reversal of power. They're like an optical illusion: If you look at them one way, Sirius is the devil, the pursuer, the hunter, the predator, the one with teeth who chases down and bites James the runner, the perused, the innocent, the pure. But if you look at them the other way, Sirius is the adoring loyal collared dog, gazing up at the incarnation of the divine masculine, the protector of the forest, God himself. Who has the power? Who is on top? Who guts the other?

I think the answer is both, and neither. They that undifferentiated grey potential- the ever-unrelalized both/and, mutual loyalty and worship and reverence so intense it borders on mutual destruction and immolation. They could implode but instead they're best friends! Sirius could have followed in his family's footsteps but instead he chose James and was sorted into Gryffindor and joined the war effort. They could have been opposites and in some ways are but mostly, are twins, brothers, friends. A inseparable dynamic duo, tempering the other, feeding the other, controlling the other, providing freedom to one another, balancing one another.

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