thepulsatingflapper

[thepulsatingflapper]

Every time I spot a Harry Potter fan, I am both appalled and surprised.

How can there be any fans left at this point?!

Grow up already!!

AND STOP ENABLING TERF BEHAVIOUR!!!!

[thepulsatingflapper]

ftm regulus ending up looking identical to sirius because sirius is so damn short and androgynous already. they both take advantage of this

"Regulus, you did shockingly bad on your potions exam!" "But professor, I was sick that day. I never...SIRIUS ORION BLACK! MESSING WITH MY GRADES AND MY FUTURE IS NOT A PRANK!"

...

"Oh, hey Sirius! How's it going?" "Remus...I'm in love with you. There. I said it." "Oh, Sirius I-I think I might love you too." "Ok perfect, now when Sirius gets in here, say that again. Just like that. I'm fucking tired of you two dancing around eachother, it's obnoxious." "REGULUS?!"

[thepulsatingflapper]

You know what would be a big "fuck you" to JKR? (In Canon-rewriting terms, besides boicoting ofc)

Making explicit how similar she is to her villains: The death eaters with their racist views, the Malfoys using money to do shit, the Dursleys hating whatever is different...

But yeah, ofc, turning them into shallow sad beans who are not the ones to blame for their behaviour and taking all the political background out of it, that's revolutionary.

[thepulsatingflapper]

James in a maxi skirt and Regulus in a mini skirt

[thepulsatingflapper]

So I had writer’s block today and decided to talk to my boyfriend. This is how it went:

Me: I just really want my work to feel meaningful you know? I’m serious about representation. I like to represent diversity.

Boyfriend: [puts his phone down slowly] You mean in your fanfics?

Me: Yes.

Boyfriend: Baby… you write like three couples. All in the same fandom. It’s just the same two dudes with slightly different trauma each time.

Me: Okay but they have different backgrounds! And I always avoid stereotypes!

Boyfriend: Right. Avoiding stereotypes. So tell me... why is there a twink in every fic who is a dramatic little mess clearly inspired by me and a broad-shouldered emotionally stunted bisexual who did something wrong and spends ten chapters making sad eyes?

Me: …That’s a narrative archetype.

Boyfriend: It’s you. You’re the sad-eyed neanderthal. I know you.

Me: That’s not true! I’ve written characters from all kinds of ethnicities and cultures! Like... remember Indian James?

Boyfriend: The one whose entire cultural arc was: “My mom makes curry and says ‘arre baaba’ when I come home late”?

Me: I also mentioned the Holi.

Boyfriend: Groundbreaking.

Me: Okay but what about Spider-Man James?

Boyfriend: You mean the fic where he’s a superhero with abandonment issues who falls in love with a sarcastic, twink who pretends to be tough but secretly cries at night? Again?

Me: …That one had world-building.

Boyfriend: It had you working through your communication issues in spandex. That’s what it had..

So if you're one of the 10 people who read my shit help me prove this slanderous man wrong

[thepulsatingflapper]

In case it wasn't ABUNDANTLY obvious:

If I see you engage with the new HP show, you will be instantly blocked. Similarly, if I see you engaging in hatred of the children involved in the production, you will also be instantly blocked.

Use your brain, keep your morals, love fanworks.

[thepulsatingflapper]

The more ashamed of yourelf you are for liking HP, the better.

~The Pulsating Flapper~

I know a lot of us are boycotting the show and not buying any official merch but there are more things that we should avoid doing, too. These things aren’t done with bad intent and might seem harmless— i might’ve been guilty of some of these in the past, too, so i’m not here to judge anyone. just what i think could be a good step:

Do Not comment marauders references in random TikTok comment sections. don’t tell sombr that he’s regulus black, don’t comment “omg pandora! crimson rivers!” under the elle fanning cast announcement, etcetera etcetera. don’t give the fandom any more exposure than it has already.

Do Not reblog/retweet/etc. random posts with marauder characters or ships. if you like something, just make your own post (and maybe mention that was your source). the poster might not appreciate their post being in the hp fandom or, again, we don’t want to give it more exposure.

Do Not recommend marauders fanfics to people outside of the fandom. i understand that those are fics and not the source material but it starts from one thing and then they’re in the fandom, too. it keeps growing. not to mention i feel like the authors of those fics might not always want their fics to be an in for random people into the hp fandom.

All this is to say that the marauders fandom is Huge and we’re everywhere. someone who constantly sees those characters being mentioned might be interested and join the fandom—especially when you’re commenting on super famous people’s posts. someone who never got into HP as a kid might be sucked into this now through your praises of the fics and characters and we don’t want that. i think in public spaces we should treat our involvement in the fandom as this dirty little secret that we’re ashamed of instead of being incredibly loud about it.

[thepulsatingflapper]

Ugh, yes. It was so gross of JKR to write that and therefore send the message to millions of children about how great she thought it was.

~The Pulsating Flapper~

Let’s not ignore how messed up it is that the lore of Harry Potter establishes the only way Harry can be adequately protected from Voldemort before coming of age is by living with an abusive family. His blood relation to Petunia is supposed to justify him being trapped, by threat of death, as a resident of her house until he comes of age. Dumbledore is like “Hey yeah I know your aunt brutally abuses you every single day, but if you move out of her house, you’ll die.” Great message there, JKR.

[thepulsatingflapper]

you guys ever think about how jkr, the massive transphobic shithead herself who calls herself a "feminist" or sm shit, literally did not use her REAL FUCKING NAME for the books and went for jk rowling instead of joanne Rowling, just so that ppl thought it was a man's name and bought her books. like. are you fucking kidding me.

[thepulsatingflapper]

Why are people so against shifting language to be more inclusive?

"Ladies and gentlemen" should be distinguished guests/folks (or something else along those lines.)

"Men, women, and children" should be adults and children.

"Girls and boys/men and women" should be people. Or, if you must, girls, boys, & enbies or men, women, & enben.

"Brothers and sisters" should be siblings.

"Aunts and uncles" should be piblings.

"Nieces and nephews" should be niblings.

"Mothers and fathers" should be parents.

"Sons and daughters" should be children.

"Husbands and wives/boyfriends and girlfriends" should be partners.

"Masculinizing or feminizing HRT" should be T or E, or - if you want to be more specific - androgenizing, micro-androgenizing, estrogenizing, micro-estrogenizing, androestrogenizing, or micro-androestrogenizing.

"Transmascs & transfems" should be trans people (as transandrogynous, transneutral, transnull, transgenderless, transxenine, transoutherine, transaporine, multigender, and mixed gender people also exist.)

"AFAB and AMAB" should be raised/perceived as female or raised/perceived as male (as intersex people can be given reassigned genders after birth and/or socially imposed genders, meaning that they could be raised/treated in contradiction to what they were assigned at birth)

Why is it that, even in the queer community, binary concepts of gender and sex are still pushed?

(This isn't referring to your own personal connections. For example, if you have only aunts & uncles, saying "aunts and uncles" isn't wrong when referring to your own personal family. Its when you apply this as a generalized statement about other people that it becomes an issue.)

[thepulsatingflapper]

welcome to this is exorsexism.

this is an account to highlight exorsexism, so that more people learn to recognise it when it's happening and we can fight it better.

what happens here is that i will post examples of exorsexism here as i encounter it, as well as submitted examples. this can be stories of exorsexism of offline or online exorsexism. if not immediately clear, i may provide an explanation of how something is exorsexist.

this is also a safe space for nonbinary people to vent or rant about exorsexism.

you can submit exorsexism you encountered to me via submissions or asks. if you send a screenshot of someone being exorsexist, please make sure to crop or censor any identifying information such as their username and profile picture. this account is for educational purposes and for nonbinary people to vent their experiences, not to send harassment to anyone.

exorsexism from within nonbinary and wider transgender communities is also welcome as that too needs awareness.

not sure if something you want to submit counts as exorsexism? submit it anyway and we can talk about it. and if you think your exorsexism experience isn't "bad enough" to be submitted: yes, it is.

credit where credit is due: this account is very much inspired by @exorsexistbullshit who sadly hasn't been active in going on 5 years, as well as casualableism on instagram.

submission rules:

since this is a blog to highlight a form of bigotry and oppression that also often intersects with other forms of oppression, a "no bigotry" rule doesn't make sense here. however, being bigoted towards bigots is not welcome here. this includes calling bigots or bigotry -phobic (i.e. "homophobia"), narcissistic, delusional, lame, blind, cr*zy, st*pid and more.

the key difference here is whether you are quoting bigotry you have encountered or whether you're being bigoted as well.

i am multiply disabled and we don't do that kind of thing here, so if i ignored your ask or blocked you, that's probably why.

FAQ

what is exorsexism?

in short, exorsexism is the oppression of and bigotry against nonbinary people. it is essentially sexism directed at nonbinary people. furthermore, it also includes the hatred of anything heavily associated with nonbinary people, like certain pronouns. exorsexism ranges from the erasure of nonbinary people to outright hostility. there are many different kinds of exorsexism as there are many different kinds of nonbinary people. exorsexism affects the whole range of nonbinary gender identities, including but not limited to agender, multigender, genderfluid, aporagender & xenogender people, as well as androgynes, nonbinary men & nonbinary women. here's an incomplete list of examples of exorsexism: nonbinary erasure, not just erasure of all nonbinary people, but also of more specific gender identities, forcing nonbinary people into the gender binary or creating new gender-related binaries to force us into (e.g. amab/afab, masc/fem, men/non-men, cisgender/transgender), thinking gender can't be fluid, thinking everyone has to have a gender, thinking nonbinary identities are new, a trend, a choice, a phase or a way to try and be special, erasing exorsexism as a specific form of oppression, thinking nonbinary people have to look a certain way, centring binary people & experiences in communities that have historically included us, mocking they, it and neopronouns, thinking that "everyone is a bit nonbinary"/reducing nonbinaryhood to gender nonconformity, thinking nonbinary people are just deviations from binary genders, i.e. men & women lite.

why don't you call it binarism?

because binarism is more specific than exorsexism.

teehee, i thought it said exorcism!

i don't care. now back to business.

how long is your queue?

it's set to post 4 times a day. if you were to send something in today it would be posted in about 2 weeks.

why has my submission not been posted?

it's either in the queue waiting to be posted or has been deleted due to violation of the submission guidelines.

why should i care about exorsexism?

for the same reason you hopefully care about other marginalised groups. if you don't, then i can't convince you to care and that's not why i'm here.

can i submit if i'm binary?

yes! we love seeing binary people being aware of exorsexism.

[thepulsatingflapper]

Marauders as things my friends have said:

Peter: Are you gay?

Sirius in denial: no?

Peter: do you ever think youd want to be gay?

Remus: "want to be gay?"?

Sirius: remus is pretty hot

[thepulsatingflapper]

I’d really like to have a conversation about why so many people seem to treat "friends with benefits" as a synonym for "sexual relationships", and why everybody jumps to talk about platonic relationships on my posts about sexual relationships.

Why is that? Why do you hear "sexual relationship" and the only thing you can think of is friends who fuck? Why can you say platonic relationship, romantic relationship or queerplatonic relationship, but sexual relationships have to be "friends with benefits" or "platonic relationships" or "physical relationships" instead? Why cant they just be "sexual relationships"?

[These questions are genuine in as much as I’d like to know what’s going on in y’all’s heads when you read me writing about sexual relationships and come in with "fwbs" and "platonic-" as if that’s ever been mentioned. Did you even notice you do that? Why did you? Will you please stop?]

Now, I do know where this avoidance of saying "sexual relationship" comes from, in the larger picture: sex negativity! Both the vehement avoidance of simply saying "sex" and instead looking for any synonym that isn’t as direct, and the idea behind it that sex can only exist within a different type of relationship to "justify" it (platonic, in this case), instead of just allowing sex, a sexual relationship, etc. to be its own thing, with its own meaning as defined by the participants themselves, in the same way y’all are ready to do with literally any other type of relationship!

It’s also inherently apl-phobic and platonormative. Not every person who’s interested in a sexual relationship will be interested in friendship or platonic relationships! (…like me, the person who’s posts y’all have been putting that stuff on.) And the assumption that of course they must be interested in friendship/mean a friendship that also contains sex when they say "sexual relationship" is platonormative, simple as that, and you need to stop with it.

Would be real cool if we could do that now. Just say sexual relationship, if what you’re talking about is indeed a, yk, relationship that’s about sex or if that’s the word the person you’re talking to has used. Thanks.

[thepulsatingflapper]

show off

explicit | lesbian wolfstar | exhibitionism, dirty talk, and smidge of humiliation (the hot kind)

Remus has perfect tits, Sirius thinks. They sit small and pretty on her chest, perfect tear drops below a sharp collarbone. Her skin is creamy, freckles dusted around a would-be bikini. She’s cold, her nipples pulling tight and hard as she shivers under the aircon. It makes Sirius want to grab. She wants to cup her hands under them and thumb over her nipples until she’s squirming. She wants to fucking bite, make them all pink and puffy and sore. 

read on ao3

[thepulsatingflapper]

Well, then, that;'s really good. Anything else, it's really bad. This is clearly completely different. Every one else is destroying the world while you alone are saving it. 💜

~The Pulsating Flapper~

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[thepulsatingflapper]

the amount of pedophilic (or just generally fucked up) ships i've found out about ever since joining tumblr is so horrifying. sometimes i wish i'd just stuck to lurking on pinterest and ao3

hate me all you want but shipping anything like snarry is wrong

[thepulsatingflapper]

been seeing a lot of (rightful) posts about peter appreciation so !!

I bestow upon you all; peter is the one in which remus goes to when overstimulated

remus can go to any of his friends, sure, but james and sirius both only last so long in quiet stillness before they'll explode with restlessness and the need for incessant talking.

but peter is different; he's always the most attentive, first to notice just before anyone else.

he has an almost endless supply of methods tucked in his belt, too; sensory, routine, environmental precautions, redirection, verbal and physical reassurances, social shielding.

he's never afraid to ask the others to do something differently. whether that be leave or quiet themselves down. he doesn't mind redirecting all of the attention onto himself.

he carries a little tin with him, too; random scraps of sensory safe fabrics, river stones for remus to fidget with, small pieces of wrapped sweets and honeycomb. if he has an orange on him, then he'll gladly take the time to peel and break the segments and remove the white strings.

he always makes sure that what he talks about is mundane, simple, doesn't require much engagement in return. tiny tales of small moments of his day / week that he found amusing and knows remus would get a kick out of.

he also knows almost all of remus' favourite literature from times of simply sitting and reading aloud for him as they hid away from the world on beds charmed with one too many spells.

there's so much more moontail has so much potential guys :(