thepunmaster

[thepunmaster]

just saying i prefer my food-based crimes to be more "heisting $1 million worth of syrup from the Canadian Maple Syrup Reserve" and less "corporations giving toddlers listeria for fun and profit"

[thepunmaster]

american puritan names have nothing on the first name of this 17th century dutch woman artist i just read about. my girl Tesselschade ('texel damage') named after the shipwrecking of her father's 44 trade ships on the coast of the island Texel in 1593.

[thepunmaster]

the insane experience of missing a fictional character . like you can always go back and reread the book , replay the game , rewatch the show or movie , you can always go back & see them , but you can never experience them & their story for the first time again . its absurd to miss them because they'll always be there , but you'll miss when there were still new things for them to say .

for a small time they were real & growing and changing and you hung onto every new word, but now all they can do is repeat the same story forever&ever & they're not real anymore because you know everything they're going to do. & you miss them. its fucked man...

[thepunmaster]

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Night Vale:

Happy Pride to the original gay podcast people

[thepunmaster]

Back in 2013, I posted a Welcome to Night Vale fic and someone commented, “I’m autistic and I see myself a lot in the way you write Carlos. Did you intend for him to autistic?”

And I was like “I’m flattered you think so! No, he’s not intended to be autistic, but I’m glad you can see yourself in him.”

Now twelve years later I spent some time this evening trying to track down that comment to give a very belated clarification. Whoever you were stranger, hey. I only said no because I based Carlos heavily on me, and since I wasn’t autistic, Carlos wouldn’t be either. Well. I’ve learned some stuff in the intervening decade that strongly support your literary analysis.

[thepunmaster]

yes bro i am chopped. like fresh fruit on a summers day

[thepunmaster]

i don’t get ppl who are fine w period pussy. smelling like wet parking lot pennies

[thepunmaster]

"blowing [someone's] brains out" sounds like it should be a sex thing tbh. missed opportunity.

[thepunmaster]

having anti punitive justice morals sucks because you want to say "man that guy sucks he should get hit with hammers until he dies" but you also want to make it clear you don't think anyone should be put in charge of the 'hit people with hammers until they die" machine.

[thepunmaster]

I'm not a hater but so much shit is stupid

[thepunmaster]

Tomfoolery actually transitioned and only does she-nanigans now

[thepunmaster]

I need y'all to watch this clip

[thepunmaster]

GO TO YOUR FAVORITE SEARCH ENGINE AND TYPE "PUPPIES" AND GO TO THE IMAGES TAB TRUST ME!!!

[thepunmaster]

will be referencing this when I want to be a hater from now on

[thepunmaster]

went into a wine shop the other day to buy pasta and they did not have pasta but they were doing a wine tasting so i thought what the hell. and got to chatting with the other woman there because we had both just come from the library and were comparing our books and sipping wine and turns out we’re both teachers so we got on the topic of phones in classrooms—and the guy pouring our wine was like ‘that’s actually a point of contention in one of my divorces right now.’

and i very delicately said ‘one of your divorces?’ and his eyes got really big and he said I’M A PARALEGAL

[thepunmaster]

you can just feel the self-congratulatory glee of whoever named this paint this color, like they truly thought they were so funny and i think you're so funny paint color naming man good job paint man

[thepunmaster]

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!