thepuwetclapper

[thepuwetclapper]

man

comedians really just went “women be shopping” back in the day and then walked off stage to applause and meanwhile i said a joke yesterday and the only person who heard is my dog and i love him but i dont think theres any thoughts behind that head other than “walkies” and maybe “women be shopping” idk what dogs think

[thepuwetclapper]

huh?

just woke up and immediately went

“spaghetti tortilla”

and i have no idea what i meant by that why am i giving myself subliminal messages? spaghetti and tortilla not even from the same country???? send hlep

[thepuwetclapper]

[thepuwetclapper]

Thoughts I have laying in my bed at 3 AM Pt. 1

If apples are the Mondays of fruit, what does that make durians? Are they, like, when you come into work and that secretary named Jessica that you’re secretly into but you’re too shy to say anything greets you with a “Good morning! How are you doing today?” and you dont know what to say back because you dont want her to pry because, again, shy, and you probably won’t be able to keep it a secret that you love her if you keep talking to her because you just keep yapping about stuff that people usually dont talk about extensively because you might be autistic but you haven’t gotten diagnosed for it so you’re just staring into her gorgeous sapphire eyes that glisten like the ocean during a sunset or something idk they’re just really pretty and I keep getting lost in them and I look like a weirdo who’s (whose? Which one is it?) been looking into her eyes just standing there for the past minute and all you can say is “good!”? Because I think that’s what durians are like.