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I am so tired of these ig sellers going on eBay.

They want their money RIGHT AWAY.

Like no, thats not how eBay works. As the seller, you are obligated to provide the buyer with the product after they pay. Once they have actually received the product, you then get the money. If you want the money right away, provide me with the items right away. Not that hard.

No, I will not mark something received if I have not received it. Especially for a seller who only has 1 positive feedback from at least a year ago.

Especially not for a $200 purchase. If they don't want to do things the way that ensures I don't get fucked over for over $200, a refund it is! If it was like way less, it'd be different. But its not. And I am not budging.

ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARENT GOING TO ACTUALLY TRADE ME THE DAY YOU MESSAGE ME ABOUT IT.

"HI PayPal is holding my funds."

Uh yeah, as buyer protection so you don't have the chance to scam me. Do you want the $200 or not? You waited a whole 2 days to even contact me. (Probably when you realized the money is being held)

So how about we wait until you're actually available to trade. I have over 70 buyer feedbacks you can ask any one of the sellers if I confirmed feedback after receiving the items.

If this ends up being Relaxed I'm going to flip my fucking lid because they know I'm good for the money release. Smfh.

So howabout if you're a seller on ig, stay on fucking ig, because eBay works in a way that does not leave the buyer open to being scammed, which is something I greatly appreciate.

And we both know nobody else was going to buy those seals at those prices honey.

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On the pet page split which is not even that deep.

The people against have the exact same statements over and over again! ITS LIKE THEY NEVER LISTEN TO WHAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH THEM SAYS!

Small pets is BURIED IN MICE AND SQUIRRELS!

MOST COLLECTORS ONLY COLLECT A COUPLE DIFFERENT TYPES OF PETS

High key just want mods to choose A and have the people who say they'll leave actually leave.

We know it wouldn't be permanent. But still.

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Lmfao shit changed

A lot of stuff has changed here.

First, no longer at IUPUI. Now, its IUSB.

2nd, Davor and I have been dating for a year and almost 2 months now.

Still at the same workplace. They love me, as expected lmao

And lastly, I wanna die. But like, that's not a new thing. RIP my mental state.

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When you miss everyone

So I recently moved to Indy for college. (Go IUPUI!) And also partly to get away from my mother.

Its been 5 days, and I miss EVERYONE at home. Friends, family, and even coworkers. It sucks!

Like on the last day I saw Davor, he was just like "I'm gonna cry my only anime friend is leaving!" and "Don't become a normie!!" "John aren't you sad??? She's leaving us!"

It was so sad!! I kept repeating that I'd be back in December...not that it seemed to help ANYBODY.

They'll get excited once the winter comes.

OH! And I'm also expecting anime recommendations from him still! On the last day we saw each other, he kept recommending One Piece! 😂 I expect more recommendations in the future! 😂

All my friends pretty much cried. Except Alex, cause he's also going to IUPUI.

Ugh, I gotta go to Kroger today. Then tomorrow is early-bird check in for Summer Bridge.

Part of myself regrets signing up for it, but another part of myself says it was a good idea. I don't know yet. But I guess we'll find out!

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I am actually triggered

OK SO

Davor recommended me to watch another anime. The last one he recommended (Steins;Gate) was good, so I was like 'aight les go this should be good'.

It was.

Its 10 episodes. And an OVA.

I watched it on FunimationNow, not really paying attention to the episode numbers. Turns out I ended watching the OVA and thought the series ended on a filler.

I researched it, and found out it was the OVA.

And the series itself ends really well. Like, its how SAO should have ended. Then they could've continued on with that whole gun-slinging shit and then ended it like they actually did and boom it wouldn't have been a one-hit wonder that overdid it.

But they can't do this to me man. Its like hoW STEINS GATE ENDED OMFG WTF I SWEAR TO GOD I STILL CANNOT EVEN WITH THAT LIKE THE WHOLE SEQUENCE OF EVENTS WAS CAUSED BY TIME TRAVEL AND—AAHHHH!!

WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THESE THINGS. I ACTUALLY WATCH DAVOR'S RECOMMENDATIONS AND THEN REALIZE THAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AND THEN ITS LIKE THIS EVERY TIME.

I PHYSICALLY CANNOT EVEN.

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Hallejulah

So halle-fucking-julah

The guys who weren't in on Sunday ended up liking their gifts. In fact, Davor texted me a thank you in all caps and it was the only thing that got me through day 1 of finals. (Not that I'll ever tell him that like that'd be weird)

So today was the first day of me being back on weekdays. It was actually kinda fun.

I hung outside messing with the snow for about an hour. I got scolded by Chris for doing so cause y'know, its cold.

But the fun was after that. Davor comes in and was like "Did I just time warp to Saturday? Bruh."

Turns out he read my message in the YouTube search bar and had asked Jay yesterday what day the 27th was, and made an informed guess that I was coming in today.

Speaking of Jay, he was pretty chill and chipper today. Happy Jay means happy day like Jesus Christ.

So the time for food rolls around and Davor is like "Caralyne! Do you want a sandwich?"

"Uh..." Honestly I didn't know if I did.

"And you're not allowed to not eat that's not gonna be happening."

So I had no choice in the matter to begin with. After the questioning of wtf I liked on a sandwich, we got to mayo.

"Do you like Miracle Whip or the Superior Brand?"

"What."

"Hellman's, the superior brand, or tangy disappointing Miracle Whip?"

So Davor actually made me a sandwich. Like toasted the bread and everything.

And it was a good ass sandwich. I ate it in 10 minutes, which is record speed for me. Legit if he offers again I will take him up on it.

"I had to make 3 sandwiches!"

"I mean I had no choice in the matter, but it was a good sandwich so...thank you."

He was quiet for a bit before replying.

"Of course it was a good sandwich, I made it."

This motherfucker. Is practically a male version of myself, just not as much of an intellectual. And a bit weirder. And probably healthier. Lmao.

Near closing time, I find out that the Reese's that was in Sales last weekend was for me. To be fair, I didn't know it was for me. So when they ate it on Tuesday, Davor felt bad cause he realized I couldn't have it, because peanut butter. Jay sure as hell didn't lmao. "He has no human compassion." At the same time though, its not a big deal. I appreciate the thought more than the execution tbh, because I made my gifts because of an idea I had back in like October, and wanted to execute it in the only way I knew how.

That was only Wednesday though. Tomorrow is Thursday. I have PLENTY of bins to clean still, so I think I'll be set for having something to do tomorrow. Woo!

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Low Key Wanna Die

So my gifts for the guys at work are really swaggy, if I do say so myself. To me, anyway.

When I first got the idea for them, I actually debated even doing it, all the way up to today.

I've been anxious about these since I'm naturally anxious. Like they wouldn't care or get the wrong idea...honestly any bad scenario. Its bad.

Turns out it went really well. The guys who were in today really liked them. It made me pretty happy. I even saw the one I made John on his keys! Same with at least Dustin and Mike! Hoorah!

However, not everyone is in on Sunday. There's no George. No Andrew. No Zak. No Jay. No Davor (he didn't randomly pop in today).

Thats 5 people. FIVE. AHHH.

Its NOT OVER OH GOD WHAT AM I GONNA DO AHHHH.

SMOTHER MYSELF WITH THE PILLOW! AVOID THE ENTIRE SITUATION THROUGH DEATH! PERFECT.

....I need help I swear.

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I want to freaking die

OK SO

I had Ashtyn, Jon and Clarissa over at my house today.

We played Truth or Dare. Y'know, simple game, pretty fun time.

Until I took a dare. Jon dARED ME TO TEXT DAVOR. THANK GOD IT WAS NOTHING BAD BUT I WANT TO DIE CAUSE OF IT. I FEEL LIKE HE SAW IT, WENT WTF, THEN DISREGARDED IT LIKE I ASKED. IF HE GETS IN CONTACT WITH ME THIS WEEKEND I'LL APOLOGIZE.

THOSE THREE KNOW ABOUT MY LOWKEY...SOMETHING AND TEASE ME ABOUT IT!

Like Clarissa and I are 'married'. Wanna know what she said to me earlier?

"I know what would split us up."

"What?"

"A DAVOR-ce! Get it? DAVOR-ce?"

I wanted to slam my head against a wall! Aaauuugggghhh!

To top it off, Ashtyn did a dare where she had to sing a song of the group's choosing to the 7th person in her contacts. Her phone was almost dead, so we used mine.

After skipping the emails/people I never talk to anymore and the work phone number, guess who it would've landed on if I hadn't of skipped him?

DAVOR. I WAS LIKE 'YOU'RE FUNNY I ALREADY WASTED HIS TIME WITH THE OTHER DARE'. AND AFTER HIM WAS DUSTIN.

Thank GOD Alex is under England in my phone! Cause after Alex was JAMISON AND GARRETT. GAHHH I NEED MORE CONTACTS THAT AREN'T WORK RELATED.

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Loneliness Sucks

Jeez I've never felt this alone since 5th grade.

I don't really have a 'squad'.

Or anybody I really talk to after school much. Everybody else has someone, except me. Its the same way at work too.

I'm so ready for this weekend. I want to feel like I'm apart of some sort of group again. Being around my family really does help me with that.

Some people say that they hate their family. They hate family gatherings and all that crap.

I'm different. I absolutely love my family. Even the one asshole of an uncle. I love my family, and they love me. We all prefer physical contact more than anything behind a phone screen. Everyone in my generation feels the opposite and I hate it.

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What is life?

I'm being serious.

I can't seem to ever actually get sleep, even though I feel tired.

Even when I do sleep, I end up feeling physical fine but mentally EXHAUSTED. It's been like this since August.

Is this tiredness justifiable? I don't think so. 8-5 school day. 10-5 work day on weekends.

Managing NHS, Student Council, and my academics. Out of the top 3 in the school right now, I am doing the most. #1 has just NHS, and she isn't even an officer. #2 does volleyball, and NHS, again not an officer. Neither of them do anything else. All I gotta do is raise my GPA higher and I'll have them beat. Salutatorian/Valedictorian here I come!

Or something. I know I'll already have an NHS thing when I graduate. Might as well add to it.

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Ex-Best Analysis Part 2

"I know that you probably don't care, and that you'll disregard this message completely, but I at least want the peace of mind knowing that I said what I wanted to say."

Obviously not disregarded. Honestly surprised more than anything. But from This, she's establishing that this message is mostly for self-reconciliation, a small bit of telling me I'm on her mind, and a tiny bit of attention grabbing. She succeeded, since my attention is grabbed.

"I miss you. I really do. I miss what we had. But the sad thing is that all of that is gone. You and I tore it apart. That still hurts me, because I had never been so close to anyone in my life." Reinforcement of an implied point, nice. Its to be sure that your motive is clear. Its a sign of good communication. Nicely done. "You just....you made an impact on my life that you'll never be able to understand. Things ended badly, but that doesn't mean that things were bad. I'll always cherish the good times we had together."

This portion is to say "hey, it sucks that this happened, but what can ya do? Life goes on. It was good while it lasted." "I think that that's about all that I have to say. I figured that I'd rather say something and have you continue to hate me instead of not saying anything and you still hating me."

This last bit is a rushed closing. The ending is a sign of insecurity about the situation, given the repeated use of certain words as well as being told from an extremely first person pov. Its something we all put after going a bit out of our comfort zones in an awkward situation.

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Ex-Best Analysis Part 1

"Yo, so I know that it's really late, but I've been thinking for a while and I think that it's best for me to say it now when I can't overthink it."

From this, I can conclude things with her new bestie aren't going as well as she would like. "I'm sorry for what happened between us. I really am. I was a really shitty friend to you, and you didn't deserve any of that. That's my fault."

Alright, looks like she's been thinking about this enough to finally understand where I was coming from. If she had realized sooner, maybe things could be different.

"We both hurt each other a lot. I hate the fact that things reached the point of no return."

I'd be half lying if I didn't feel the same way. Only half though. Regardless, this line was either an emotion play or actually heartfelt. Given the previous statements thus far, I will say its legit. "You really were my best friend. I don't know if you can say the same about me, and that's okay, but I just want you to know that I truly considered you to be most of my world. I slipped up, and I focused on myself more than I should've been focusing on our friendship."

Sweet Jesus I never would have thought this was possible. People being mature around my age is relatively new. Its honestly a real shame that it takes us this long to realize these things.

Continued in Part 2

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Oh Look

ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAVE RANTED.

Because I have nothing to rant about yet.

Except ex-bestfriends.

I received a message from this ex-best one morning. I have yet to respond. Imma post the contents below, and will analyze each piece with separate posts.

"Yo, so I know that it's really late, but I've been thinking for a while and I think that it's best for me to say it now when I can't overthink it. I'm sorry for what happened between us. I really am. I was a really shitty friend to you, and you didn't deserve any of that. That's my fault. We both hurt each other a lot. I hate the fact that things reached the point of no return. You really were my best friend. I don't know if you can say the same about me, and that's okay, but I just want you to know that I truly considered you to be most of my world. I slipped up, and I focused on myself more than I should've been focusing on our friendship. I know that you probably don't care, and that you'll disregard this message completely, but I at least want the peace of mind knowing that I said what I wanted to say. I miss you. I really do. I miss what we had. But the sad thing is that all of that is gone. You and I tore it apart. That still hurts me, because I had never been so close to anyone in my life. You just....you made an impact on my life that you'll never be able to understand. Things ended badly, but that doesn't mean that things were bad. I'll always cherish the good times we had together. I think that that's about all that I have to say. I figured that I'd rather say something and have you continue to hate me instead of not saying anything and you still hating me."

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Omg Look This Isn't Private

OK so this isn't a rant more of just something I'm not allowed to have connected to me but I wanna remember it. When my boss gets high, apparently he gets a drink, then starts handing out money to people.