therattsden - Tumblr blog

[therattsden]

me and the bad bitch i pulled by being scared and nervous like a bunny

[therattsden]

[therattsden]

Hello, Portal friends! The first chapter of my best Portal fic is here! This is a story about creativity and creators. About the fact that creation can heal souls and debug programs, and also about friendships, neurotoxin and – a little bit – about cake. It begins with Doug Rattmann coming to talk with GLaDOS. 

You can read it here. Also thanks to @canadian-riddler for proofreading!

[therattsden]

so fucked up that baby rats are like adult rats but small

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I had a Caroline drabble idea where the concept only really worked if I genderbent Cave, so have some Caroline and Cate. Sort of.

The Assistant

Caroline was known for many things. A ‘diligent work ethic’, A ‘motherly instinct’ towards her sick and dying boss, the ‘beauty’ in each expression and flip of her chemically scented hair. Wherever she went, they spoke of how well she blended into the crowd, into the company, into Cate. A modern day wallflower.

That’s all she was. The dutiful assistant. Quiet and unseen. Calm under pressure. Her personality fit the bill to the untrained eye. Create the meetings, the emails, the arrangements, keep everything orderly and neat. She could do that. It was all she was known for. That was fine. It was better to be useful than not, to be seen and heard when it mattered. She would also have a spotlight someday, somehow. Caroline just needed the right time to shine.

At least there had been plenty of things to learn from Cate's shadow over the decades, even if she practically managed the company on her own. Mrs. Johnson was the face of it, the perfect cancer-riddled body, but Caroline was the mind, the liver, the backbone, anything that actually functioned instead of just sitting there looking pretty and coughing up a lung. That was fine.

Caroline sat at her desk, quietly working on some paperwork so sweetly plopped there and abandoned by a few employees last minute. Prim. Proper. Legs crossed at the ankle, fingernails painted Mrs. Johnson’s favorite shade. The perfect assistant to the woman who could do no wrong. Sure it was time to clock out, but not for her. Never for her. There was simply too much to do and no one else willing to do it.

It flashed in her mind. All of the late nights in the office, chugging coffee, pushing paperwork, human rights, herself, all out of the window for the woman she once admired so wholeheartedly. This was and would always be her life if Cate's decree became more than expected but demanded. Robotics, all the way into eternal servitude while Cate sat in Hades laughing at her…

No. Aperture would be fine, no, BETTER in her careful, steady hands. Did she need to wait until Mrs. Johnson died to figure that out? No…

It wasn't fine.

But it will be. Soon enough.

"Folks, I've got some news." Mrs. Johnson's tone was heavy, yet also empty in a way it had never been over the microphone before.

"Usually I'd make some joke about good news versus bad news, or this being about the recent round of layoffs, but no. I'm afraid this one's serious."

She let out a heavy sigh.

".... Caroline's gone. Now, I know what you're thinking; Cate, what's gonna happen to the company without her? She was the backbone of this facility! And believe me, I get it - I wondered the same thing when I heard. But rest assured, she left all her notes and things behind, meaning someone else can pick up right where she left off. Things should run just fine from your end, barely a hiccup in the production line!... But, if any of you need some time to grieve, there'll be a counselor or something sent around the departments to listen on your smoke breaks."

She paused to regard the crowd gathered beneath her, studying their faces through a stoney gaze… Then she coughed once into her fist, before perfectly manicured nails waved the group off.

"Well. Those smoke breaks aren't for a while yet, so get back to work."

Doug stood awkwardly among the front row of the crowd that had gathered to hear her big announcement in person, dragged there at Henry's insistence. Caroline was gone? What had happened to her? It must've been bad for Mrs. Johnson not to explain at all… Was it a lab accident after all these years, or had she left of her own accord? Why now?

As Doug chewed on his thoughts and cheek, he couldn't help but feel that something was… Off. Obviously the disappearance was strange, but even Mrs. Johnson herself; the shape of her face was just slightly too pointed, her hair a little too blonde, put up a little too neatly (when had he last seen it look styled?), cough a little too forced. It was… Unsettling. But maybe it was just the light so harsh behind her?

He tried to scrutinize a little further as she walked away, but Henry had other ideas, smacking Doug on the shoulder in what he supposed was a friendly, coworker manner yet still made him jump.

"Hey Doug, what're you staring at?" Henry asked, looking between him and the retreating Mrs. Johnson. "You heard her, time to get back to it."

Doug blinked, rubbing the hit shoulder before looking over to him. "... Nothing. Let's go."

Surely it was nothing. He was paranoid, that's all… It was pretty harrowing news after all. This was just his imagination. It was fine.

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[therattsden]

I wonder how Doug takes his meds. In the comic he takes it during work, when he starts showing symptoms of paranoia. He keeps them in his locker, not in his bedroom. Does he work everyday? All ofl the antipsychotics I've ever taken say to do it every day to help with symptoms and stabilize the chemicals. They can make you drowsy, so night times usually good. Do they make him tired? Does he forget to take them? Does he have a second bottle on his nightstand, and the other is for days he forgot? It's not like he works every day. Maybe he just carries them with him. Does he go off then on his own, or is he diligent? Does he only notice he hasn't taken them if he starts hearing things, thinking paranoid thoughts? Going off of them can make the paranoia worse, the hallucinations come back. It can feel like losing your mind. He'd do better with a reminder, but there are no cellphones. Is he time blind? Does he talk to his therapist about his struggles with keeping up with it? Will he be okay...?

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You good?

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The imagination of an AI being like the imagery of an AI art generator is kinda funny. That's not the right amount of fingers but I'll take it.

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Fuck everythimg... I jus want them back... :(

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Aesthetic changes between portal 1 and portal 2 like the elevators makes no sense because she wasn't awake to change it, unless other bots changed the facility around waiting for her. Probably got bored.

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robot girl plugging in the cheap usb weed that makes her go (windows disconnection sound) (windows reconnection sound) (windows disconnection sound) (windows reconnection sound) (windows disconnection sound) (windows reconnection sound) (windows di

[therattsden]

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

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im like if a girl was {undefined variable}. im like if a girl was [fragment missing]. im like if a girl was (editor’s note: the author’s invocation of the word “girl” in this context is idiosyncratic, perhaps metaphorical) im like if a girl was im like if a girl draft deleted! im like if a girl You have reached your free article limit! Subscribe now to continue reading. im like if a girl was [THREAD LOCKED] im like if a girl (ENDING EXPLAINED!) im like if a girl Unusual activity detected, please highlight all the pictures of bicycles. im like if a girl I don’t respond to prompts that could be deemed offensive, and so I am unable to carry out the request. im-like-if-a-girldeactivated03092023. im like if a girl we are unable to take your call at the minute. im like if a girl isn’t registered under that name. im like if a girl could give you her date of birth. im like if a girl oh yes we have you under […]. im like if a girl LOST CONNECTION

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[therattsden]

call me the music listener. the way i listen to music