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Group Therapy (?)

I don't remember what happened at group therapy. I don't even remember what happened yesterday. The only thing I can really recall is arriving for group therapy and everything going black. It'd hazy but I remember whispering or maybe chanting. I was so cold. When I awoke I was in bed, what the hell happened?

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Group therapy

Tomorrow I have group therapy, I can't wait. This week its about dealing with anxiety. I don't really know what went on last week. I don't even know what they talked about last week.

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Reason of absence

It’d been a bit odd since I came home from vacation. First of all , while in Mexico I didn’t take any of my medication. I tired to, I did. But they made me so nauseous. So I stopped taking them, and I felt great! I didn’t feel anything odd, and I didn’t get any horrible nightmares.

But then I got home. And home felt heavy, it felt like there was a thick cloud hanging around the place. And I had a horrible nightmare and I woke up in the middle of it. At 2 a.m. I quickly took my medication.

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Dream #2

I was with a group of 12 people. I didn't know them but I had to survive with them until there were 2 people who would fight to the death. At first it was easy, we managed to survive the games and leave, Then one by one they slowly started dying. One by construction accident, one by 'suicide', another in car accident. And then I guess it was my turn to die. But I didn't want to; I rebelled. And for some reason they kept telling me that I could have the gift because then whenever I saw my friends all I would see was the color red. They needed a book for some reason and apparently I had it- well at least my mom did. Then I had put all the dream pieces together. Then I woke up.

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Classes

Classes have taken their toll on me. Sleep is hard to come by when you have to finish 20+ assignments. At least spring break is here. Maybe then I'll get some sleep.

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Sick

I got sick recently. I haven't uploaded due to some mild hallucinations. That and some violent coughing, so now that I'm feeling better- I'll continue uploading on the progress of my therapy.

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New Girl

Well group therapy went over well. The new girl really belnded in with all the other fucked up human beings, but something about her got under my skin. She was pretty chill, but I couldn't help but think that I saw her somewhere before. And I didn't want to scare her away by just asking if I knew her. Or if she knew me, but after Vanessa started talking about her regrets the new girl, I think her name was Kayla, she started having what I assume were headaches. And I tapped her on the shoulder, to ask her if she was okay. She said she fine, but I still couldn't get the fact that I knew her out of my mind, so I asked if she knew me. She didn't. When it was her turn she talked about her brothers, she seemed upset at Hawthorne's probing. Which would make sense if you knew the Great Doctor Hawthorne.

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Olfactory Hallucinations

Fire. I kept smelling fire in class. Fire, and sulfer. It made me nauseous, no one else could smell it but me. I had to leave, I was about to go home for a while. But I still have the group session to attend. Apperently there is going to be someone new joining us.

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Anxiety

I almost had a panic attack at school. It was awful. Tomorrow I have a group therapy session, last week we talked about Anger. This week is suppose to be about Regrets.  I really wonder how my group mates are going to respond to Dr. Hawthorne’s probing questions.

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School...

School is taxing. With my nightmares and having to finish so many assignments, no wonder I'm a bit behind.

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See the small tree that's on the path to the left? He was standing under there.

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diluvium

This time I was in water. Surrounded entirely in water, like as if I was in a lake. It was a bit shallow, but I could see were it dipped to what I assumed in my dream to be the bottom. It was peaceful at first, that was until I heard a scream erupt out of nowhere. As soon as it did I saw the clear lake become black with hands reaching out to me. I woke up before the reached me.

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Photos?

I'll upload photos tomorrow, it was a busy day after I left the woods.

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Rubrum Larva

The woods are peaceful today, but I when I go there it feels like something is pacing underneath.

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This Morning...

I was running. Through the woods behind my house, they where reaching out to me. The path I was on kept getting smaller, I can feel something behind me. I tell myself not to look, because if it sees me I can never go back. I don’t know what that means, but it keeps whispering that I need to find her, there is a masked man blocking my way. As I run past him, I wake up.

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Tomorrow I’ll draw anything I dream, at least if its out of the ordinary. 

Dreams

My psychiatrist tells me that this’ll help. With my nightmares at least. I don’t know what it’ll do about the things I’m seeing though.