therehearsal2022

[therehearsal2022]

[therehearsal2022]

boys who dress like icecreams

[therehearsal2022]

i like boys who dress like icecreams and ignore me for video games and get food all over their face so i can wipe it off and spoon feed and baby them esp when they are mean to me it’s garbage i know but i can’t help it

[therehearsal2022]

lavender, yarrow, and hydrangea pots respectively (stoneware, 2021)

[therehearsal2022]

i care for fred armisen as if he were a member of my own family

i have such fondness and affection for my lovely snl cast members that i feel like theyre my personal friends and i love them soooo much and whewnever i see them in a sketch im like omggg my friend and when i dont see them i miss them so so so bad like ugh i wish fred or bill was here rn

[therehearsal2022]

i have such fondness and affection for my lovely snl cast members that i feel like theyre my personal friends and i love them soooo much and whewnever i see them in a sketch im like omggg my friend and when i dont see them i miss them so so so bad like ugh i wish fred or bill was here rn

[therehearsal2022]

beauitiful gay adam

[therehearsal2022]

SAW VI (2009) dir. Kevin Greutert

[therehearsal2022]

SAW VI (2009) dir. Kevin Greutert

[therehearsal2022]

SAW VI (2009) dir. Kevin Greutert

[therehearsal2022]

SAW VI (2009) dir. Kevin Greutert

[therehearsal2022]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[therehearsal2022]

grizzled mercenaries are always being like "I'm sick and tired of being a pawn in someone elses game" like their job isn't literally rent-a-pawn

[therehearsal2022]

Beastie Boys by Jake Chessum

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calling out for my mom in a moment of extreme pain and terror, but taking an aside to explain to the audience that i mean i want the concept of a mother as caregiver and protector to defend and rescue me rather than my literal mom, whose presence would neither bring me comfort nor improve the situation

[therehearsal2022]

some people would rather eat a stunning cunt, than do a cunning stunt

[therehearsal2022]

Its bout to be a Anton Chigurh summer