Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by therunneroffaith and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
0
Likes Per Post
0
Reblog Per Post
0
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
5 months
Number of Posts By Type
Text
17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
The KCSC sent more than 20K requests to delete posts related to prostitution and porn to Tumblr from January to June 2017.
Text
I'm back. I never wanted to be back, but I'm back.
I don't really know how to feel about this return but here I am. In need of an escape, solice from my thoughts maybe but I need to vent. To understand my thoughts.
It's been about five years since my last post, unfortunately it seems the hue has darkened. I feel lonier than ever, things feel as bleak as ever and frankly I pray I can't make things any worse.
There was once hope of the better, maybe a year ago. As I tried hard to change my path, unfortunately partially due to my own lack of discipline in the last few months the slight benefit has become another problem.
The order of this post will flow freely as my thoughts permit, frankly nowadays my thoughts swirl so loudly and quickly at times with worries and disappointments I barely feel that silence I wish for. Which explains the increasing search for distractions. I'd like to get hold of that one day, to be content enough with my life to not need to distract myself from my inaddequacies.
I'd like clarity of mind again, peace and some true relaxation, where I don't have to worry about how I'll get through the month or how I'll fund my future. That's all I ever think about, all the time. All the time.
I've never felt this much pressure, whether it started from others, myself or wherever. Either way I feel it, maybe it's a midlife crisis or something. Chasing anything that might make me feel valued or worthwhile. I think I need to do better, I think I owe it to myself to find structure, discipline and hopefully focus.
Rather than chasing each quick dopamine hit thats available, I'd like to play the long game. I'd like to change my destiny for real, to be like my friends who are financially comfortable. Why do I have to be different, why does my story have to be the dark one? Right now my expectations of life are the lowest they've been, I don't know if I still have hope but I'm trying.
I pray, I can pull through. I pray God will work in me to pull through. I've been to my lowest lows, I've been to a place where I don't recognise myself. Now I want to go to the next place, the place that makes me feel strong, happy, empowered, confident and fulfilled.
I truly hope things change for the better soon, now I don't know when that will be. For some reason things haven't worked recently, but I think it's time to reign in the chase of dopamine and be stricter with myself.
I'll be back to share the thoughts I struggle to, I think I need it.
Once again, I hope to look back on this profile one day as a memory. Hopefully in appreciation of where I am and where I once was, lets see.
The Runner of Faith.
0 notes
Text
I wonder if I’m a little depressed, most days are bad days, sad days and I don’t remember a long good stretch In the last year. It’s just a constant feeling of boredom, stress and annoyance.
0 notes
Text
I’m tired of roasting, I don’t even want to do anything about it anymore
0 notes
Text
Why the hell did I get put in this situation, I didn’t deserve this. It’s not fair. But I guess I have to step up.
0 notes
Text
Things have taken a huge turn for the better, I’m working making money and able to help in the house a bit more. But I feel shitty today, I dunno if it’s the lack of interaction and being inside but I don’t know.
0 notes
Text
It's hard to trust the lord or talk to him in times like this but I want to make it more of a habit.
0 notes
Text
Wanting to help the current situation but I'm helpless myself. I will change my direction and make a difference though, I promise.
0 notes
Text
Same day a few hours later, feeling better. Every day has its ups and downs. It's all about my mentality. Which at times is hard to control.
0 notes
Text
Life is shit, I swallow pride every day and can't even pray anymore. Just feel alone in the struggle.
0 notes
Text
Things have been so long recently. I'm looking for happiness wherever I can find it. Solitude in smoking, talking to women and games. lol this shit sucks because I know none of it helps my root problem but I guess it's a distraction in the meantime...
0 notes
Text
I've never felt so fragile before
Life has been so tough.
0 notes
Text
August 14th I'm broke but I like the prospects arising, this could be the beginning of some change in my life... God willing.
0 notes