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[theschwainsurancepolicy]

The Difference Engine (part 1)

Indeed when the deed is done let us not speak of the fish I left to die (when I was young).

           Instead give us Justice by price,

Fore she is a big spender and knows the value of pain against the worth of life.

The difference shall be misunderstood and hated; not found by the police and their square heads. Yet given thought to everyday in a sad way cause it is a sad thing that divides and hides what keeps us the same.

It keeps calling on the phone and hanging up. It upsets and calculates my thoughts of being a good person. It goes to war without reason and tries to blow up schools on TV. It’s the evil that drives us home at night. It could happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere and it happens everyday.

CCR

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[theschwainsurancepolicy]

TSIP - 5.1

He remembered thinking how much more skin they were going to peel off his feet before he passed out, before they were over. Since then, five seconds past the time he awoke, he found himself there in the brown round room strapped upside down to a cold metal slab which was angled about 50 degrees, his feet being at the top. Any moment before the realization of the peeling had no existence to him: not who he was, where he came to be, or the memory of his life came to mind. He found himself no one, who was no where, with nothing to think about but why he was incarnated into this situation.

    His feet stung…hard and he could tell all skin was gone from its needed space. “I can’t walk,” he thought; of course, he couldn’t even move but that was secondary to the thought of pain when he imagined his skinned feet touching the floor and then the spike of jealousy. The knife of fascination cut into his pounding mind. The brilliance he saw of his captures actions was so clear and simple that he couldn’t think of any other next step but to shake whose ever hand had ordered this and swear allegiance to them.

     He felt his head bulging with blood…taste it…yes he could. Down the back of his esophagus and in the sinus membrane, images of large gross ticks latched inside a stray dogs’ ear. Yes, that’s the likeness he tied to his head. Sick, he added in thought, getting sick… “Getting Sick,” he said aloud for no known reason, instinct maybe to notify the world around him of his first needed point to share. If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it…I’m falling was his impression of this new coming feeling. “I’m getting sick of falling upside down I am.” The blood was soaking his brain as the feeling clotted his vision with white twinkling spots that popped and fleeted before the oncoming fade out to blackness sent him back into unconsciousness.

CCR

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[theschwainsurancepolicy]

TSIP - 3.9

Where ever do we find ourselves while this winter is cold and bloody? Now, I find myself here inside my hole: one not yet shelled, under cover of two roofs and a window facing away from the enemy’s position. Chris has gone on a journey to the north, while Derek and Scott have gone on recon to the Ohio basin and for now, most of the other Terrans are in the wild. Hiding out in 57 degrees. I am out and here cause I need be. Still…I try to write something down to help figure it out. Figure what is my question though. Figure why one day is just like any other then the next thing “BOOM”, we wake up to a day full of nuclear explosions. Figure out why all the sudden these Aryans started shooting at the Africans: then the Africans started burning down all the Aryans stuff, or do I just figure that America had it coming. That’s the simplest solution I find. America just had it coming.

  Christian patiently laid down the pen and reached for the cellophane baggy inside the lower left side pocket of his subdued urban camouflage pants. After unraveling it, he pulled out a very scanty smelling thumb sized bud of what his people called Zeus Baung and pinched a small portion from it and placed that into a silver single bong hit bowl, which was connected to a graffix. Holding the graffix with his left hand and striking forth flame from a match with his right, he inhaled slowly but completely, and leaned back in his chair: relapsing, synapsing, holding in tight till he let out to breath. Then inhaled again: and he remembered thinking- - this is what it’s all about.

  Six hours earlier, Christian had the head of an Aryan troop in the scope of his M-16 and was kneeling steadily for accuracy and balance. The distance plus the debris kept him hidden but he just couldn’t believe they were there, like that, all eating bread in the same room of some burned out house. It could be a trap, he thought, and that’s why he would stay back and deliver their ticket from here. He breathed in, then fired. The first man was taken dead on the nose and therefore, his brain left in many directions from the back. The second, who was seated left to the first, was struck not even a second after with two smacks above his right ear, while the third, being the biggest and languid, was shot three times: twice in the face and once in the neck. Blood squirted with enthusiasm from this one. And Christian exhaled.

      CCR

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[theschwainsurancepolicy]

TSIP - 9.05

           Christian knew he just heard the sound of the downstairs door opening and he also knew he was expecting no one. The numerous footsteps coming up the stairs and the sudden little red flashing intruder light gave him one conclusion—scout detail!

    He grabbed the remote from the desktop, pushed the blinking red button and smiled as he heard the malengine traps complete their purpose. As he left the room he entered the blackout light code on the remote (he loved this thing) and crouched down at the end of the back corridor and waited for the first encounter. The electric blue fog oozing in from the opposite corridor reminded Christian of opium smoke—thick and alive.

    He wondered if any scouts had survived the first volley. Audio sensors wouldn’t help with such close proximity but then his doubt was denied as he saw the first red laser beam pierce the smoke and then another and then another. “ Good”, he thought, “I get to push more buttons.” He caressed the face of the remote and decided to play cat. He pushed three buttons and let the search beams scatter down inside the fog. At first a hail of bullets rocked the corridor like music and Christian flashed back into a time when someone was in a Bobby Fleet Rock Show and the lights. The lights and the music and the energy were so strong that it all radiated revelations passed down through ages by things. Things that still haven’t been revealed…as of yet, as of soon, Real soon.

    The lights. Don’t blame the lights. Yes, back to the lights, back to the fog with red laser beams screaming tag on dead bullets. Christian’s surrounding sucked in slow motion back into his eyes and “That gives me one more advantage”, he thought and now that he was back he gave no intention of going down again.

    He pressed five digits on the remote and held his breath. Suddenly, a flash of green light began to implode inside the belly of the fog. Air pressure fell into the light as the scout’s skeletons began to glow an incredible x-ray color and then disintegrated into the light leaving behind an echoing scream which faded with them as the light went out.

    Trickles of thick smoke crawled along the hall. Christian held the search button and whispered into the com. “Exterior perimeter sweep engage.” He released his gun from its holster and stood up aiming down the hall. “Perimeter Clear,” replied the electric voice. He pushed another button and the blacklights went off as the corridor began to glow an infrared tint. Christian expected maybe one or two kills left around the stairs that the graviton blast didn’t pick up. Turning the corner into the first corridor he saw a wounded scout painfully reaching for a gun. Christian walked over and kicked the gun aside. The gun, he notices, is not government issue. It was, hell he didn’t know what it was. He pointed his revolver at the scout’s head and began asking questions. “Why are you here?”

The man said nothing, so Christian talked louder.

“Fucker, why are you here,” and then kicked him once in the side and then kneeled down beside him and pulled the scout’s head back.

“Buddy, I’m not in a good mood,” Christian said as he laid the tip of his gun against the man’s neck, ”and I promise you won’t either unless you answer me these questions three.” (Christian smirked inside as he remembered the movie Monty Python and the Holy Grail, anyway.) “Right!” “Right,” replied the man. Christian perched his back more upright and began again.

“Why are you here?”

“We were tipped that this was a TAC cell and were sent to confirm.”

Christian thought for a second then smiled, “What is your quest?”

“To capture any occupants for identification.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Red,” said the man as he fumbled his answer… “No, blue!” A second later Christian pulled the trigger and the soldier’s life was over.

                                     CCR

[theschwainsurancepolicy]

TAIP - 23.5

TAC is watching you. Keep up the good work.

    Charley is walking to a show. Charley doesn’t know why. Charley can’t do anything. Charley isn’t charley. Charley hasn’t been Charley for many months but Charley doesn’t know this. Charley’s therapist thinks he is suffering from a concussion which is making him act strange. Charley broke up with his girlfriend. Charley started gambling and seeking risky behavior. Charley was fired after being caught jacking off at work to a pic of Ryan Reynolds. Charley just does what he feels like and he’s going to get in trouble. But Charley isn’t there to care. Something else is. And he is walking to a show at Zanzabar in Louisville, KY. He knows why he is here. To see a band that says on their flyer to “Fight the Counter Schwa!”      There is a sexy crowd waiting to get inside the bar. An outwardly uneventful store front on a boring corner but inside its pinball heaven and a classic rocking bar scene. He hates earthlings. He hates them as he ponders their different skin and social culture. He fits in though because he looks like these people. Too much chaos comes from their happiness he thinks. Their joy causes a nauseous feeling down his back as he pays the five dollar cover charge and walks in. The contrast of darkness and shiny lights disorients him and the sound of the music was already screaming in his ear. On stage he saw what he knew was no earthling. The dashing singer clad in a black fighter helmet with a red star and a long Geiger like tail attached was dancing wildly while singing – “I’d love to know what deep blue thinks of itself and the world around it. Never expected it to be this way. Man wrestled with machine. I now I feel like crying, as I fade into my deep blue funk.” The guitar cord hit a note that seemed to twitch his spine again. What was this person he thought?  The bar was packed and by now smelled like lusty sweat. So he walked toward the opening to the outside part of the bar and could swear the singer watched him move the whole way. He stops by the end of the bar and continued to watch the band while over in his head he tried to realize why the singer seemed so familiar. Was he another contractor playing some game? Did they really know about the counter-Schwa or were they just a joke. Some college kids taking obscene ancient conspiracies and running with it? But then the singer said a word not to be spoken by the counter-Schwa. He heard the singer say “Tonight is brought to you by the Terran Action Committee.” He had to sit on the stool as his legs shook and quickly finished his drink before ordering another. He then listened as the singer read a prose poem about the history of the universe and how after it was created by the then unknown Schwa, the universe became a conscious entity and began to be a huge asshole to the developing early civilizations. To stop the experiment from going to shit the Schwa stepped in and tried to lobotomize the universe but its followers who benefitted from its oppression resisted – while the followers of freedom were led by the Terrans. The Terrans not only helped defeat the conscious universe and its allies but they also saved the Schwa from the inner betrayal of the Counter-Schwa who wanted to live in the experiment like kings with the knowledge to rule their worlds forevermore. The Schwa could not stay uninvolved and revealed themselves to the inhabitants of the first two waves of the universe as the creators and tried to undo the damage of the U.C.  for two centuries before leaving the universe to itself again. But the growing secret of the counter-Schwa had to stop this knowledge from becoming universal fact. So on planet Odin they held court and tried to kill their brothers and at the same time, the old UC allies planned a fatal blow to the planet Terra. In the end, planet Terra and all Terrans were destroyed and the Schwa were believed to have died in the Odin explosion. But the remaining 23 Schwa along with the 223 Terrans that had faked their deaths and escaped into a new realm of the Schwa. Here they can watch the universe in secret and help balance the direct influence of the counter-Schwa.  For their sacrifice and to protect the remaining Terrans, they were placed 3 waves out from the closest civilized wave of the universe. Here they could be hidden for millions of years in a solar system far from the reach of the counter-Schwa. And the Terrans did live in relative peace for a long time. But that’s all you get to know for now” said the singer abruptly and they broke into a new song. He was mortified, stone faced, and the air seemed still. And then again the singer looked straight at him. This time with a wicked smile as he continued to prance about the stage with that red star on his black helmet. He felt it was time to go. A sense of paranoia reverberated with the drum beat. He laid 10 dollars on the bar and stood up when she walked in front of him. This beautiful female with long straight black hair with soft slick jawline, huge dark eyes and tight black lips. She was holding a vaporizer which clearly had cannabis in it. He didn’t like marijuana at all and whenced back quickly. “What’s wrong honey – can’t handle my cherry bomb?” She then inhaled a long drag then French inhaled like a witch and blew it all into his face. He saw spots and began to hear the nitrous side of reality. He couldn’t talk and he felt like Charley does as she took his hand and lead him to a back corner in the outside area. He could not understand anything as the nitrous effect continued to get worse. She pushed him into the corner seat of a bench and said, “Sit there SCUMB till the show’s over.” She sat down beside him and smoked from her vaporizer and blew smoke his way and casually made confusing statements about his situation like, “You’re going to be my glow bug.” Even in his paralyzed mental state he was able to ponder a “what the hell is she saying.” But he didn’t last long and began to drool and did so thru the next 5 songs. He thought about passing out but already had two songs ago.      His body was still tingling with that bloody nitrous feeling when he came to. Still sitting in the same spot outside as dawn began to break the night’s curtain. He was afraid and felt alone even though 3 people stood before him. The enchanted woman, the singer, now dressed in formal military like uniform and still wearing his helmet, and a taller business looking type with cool glasses and dark hair. He was ready to choke on the moment but caught his breath and said, “What did she do to me? Where is everyone?” A second was wasted then the singer said, “Well it’s morning and everyone has gone home. She hit you with a certain strain of cannabis that paralyzes SCUPs like you.” scup, scup? What’s a scup? You guys are fucked up? The singer held up his hands half way up. “Ok. Ok. We are going to get this done quick so all we need from you is to tell us what you are, who contracted you, and for what. You can do that can’t you?” He was really scared now because he just realized he was setup. He knows they know he has a secret. And he also realized he is in the presence of the new Terran who was mentioned in his scope of work. And if this is the new Terran then the woman is the Terran Witch-Atari. She controls magic of all varieties and is feared throughout the southern realm of the Universe and the tall one he doesn’t know. “That’s Chris,” Atari said as if she read his mind, “And you’re going to reveal your secret.” “Why would I do that?” he said. “Because you want to,” Chris replied and then moved closer to the bench and sat down. “People feel better after they tell me their secrets. It’s always secrets they don’t want and most always want to be rid of it. It’s like when you’re dirty and sweaty from hiding your secret then you put on new clothes but don’t take a shower. There’s that dirty smell that still sticks with you. Sometimes you smell it and think do others smell it: my secret.” Chris looked directly at him, “What do you smell?" He took in a deep breath and could smell something musky that wasn’t there before-something sooty and rotten. He felt immediately repulsed and addicted to the smell that seemed to surround him. And then he began to cry terribly, “What is your secret?” Chris asked sternly. He raised his head from his hands with snot running from his eyes and nose. “I’m a scup!" he screamed. I’m a Delfoid Particle from the Tezz zone. He was crying uncontrollably and shaking. “Go on.” The singer said in a get this over with tone. “I was contracted to deconstruct Charley’s life and push him to suicide by the green ones, the lizard looking fuckers. “The Gremlins,” said Atari, “Counter-Schwa bitches.” “Why Charley?” Chris asked in a calm comforting voice. “He’s an engineering student who is on the right track to making a mechanism that creates variable energy fields inside a stable structure of some... I’m not sure…” Atari looked at Commander Red as he said something under his breath and then she moved closer to the Scup. “What are you going to do to me?” he cried. She raised up her arms and made the sign for Mannaz as light green smoke floated off her fingertips with her right hand and held the book Algiz with her left. Then she read, “Out with trespasses and unwanted influence. You are a spiritual warrior whose battle is always with the self. Remain mindful that timely action and correct conduct are the only true protection. If you find yourself feeling pain, observe the pain, stay with it. You will progress; knowing this is your protection.” As he stared into her lips he was snapped out of his trance with a punch to the face from Commander Red, who then jumped on top of him and began to choke the Scup out of Charley. Not 5 seconds later a small light the size of a 5mm LED shot out of Charley’s right ear and was quickly caught with a small orb by Atari. “There’s my glow bug.” She said with a grin as she pulled out a key chain from her purse and clipped the orb to it. Then throws it back in the purse and gets up sharply. “I’ll be in the bus Commander whenever you guys are done.” Charley slowly gains his senses again as the owner of the bar opens a door and says the boy’s taxi is here. Commander Red and Chris move and help Charley to find his feet and walk him to the front. “What happened?” Charley sounding hazy says, “Oh boy you’ve got to be our biggest fan,” Commander Red replied, “but you can’t mix alcohol then pot. You got to do pot first then just drink a little next time, O.K.?” “Oh yeah” Chris pulled out a TANSTAAFL pamphlet from his inner pocket and hands it to Charley. “This will help you set your life back on track, kid.” “Thanks – Oh what happened?” “Life happened Charley. Life, and you’re gonna be alright.” They were at the door of the taxi and before getting in Charley shook both their hands. “When will you guys be… he stopped mid-sentence, maybe realizing how stupid the question was. “Thanks.” “Don’t mention it Charley," said Chris Just keep moving forward.” Charley sat down and Chris shut the door. Commander Red then tapped on the window and Charley rolled it down. If you like that brochure and want to really change your life, look up this place sometime. He then threw a business card onto the back passenger floor board. Charley leaned over to pick it up and read the only words printed on it, “T.A.C.” Charley looked back up while saying, “Hey what does…" but they were gone. He looked at the closed sign on the door and even stuck his head out the window to look down both directions of the street. But they were gone. Charley put the card and the brochure in his pocket and asked the immigrant taxi driver to take him to Denny’s. Charley was Charley again and Charley was hungry.

CCR 4/20/2017