theseventhcontinent

[theseventhcontinent]

The room was completely dark except for the thin light rays from the lamp post across the road beaming through the curtains  which were clumsy pushed together. drank some wine earlier and was feeling tipsy. I was also horny as fuck but couldn’t get myself to touch him since I came back. ‘I have to get over it’ i said to myself. We started making out. I couldn’t see him but only felt his skin against mine and heard occasional ahhs and oohs he made. I tried to picture his face but all I could think of was some hair, lots of hair. I was illusioned and pained. Forced myself to wake up from that illusion and concentrate on the moment but I was estranged from him. It felt so wrong to be with this man, so inappropriate and ugly. A wave of guilt, disgust and upset washed over me and I started crying. More than 5 years ago, when he touched me for the first time on this very coach, there was guilt again but along with pleasure. I cried even more. 

He was so gentle and soft all the time -when he kissed me, when he fucked me, even when he was angry with me. He said are you ok. I said i felt strange. He stopped. We slept. 

In the morning, before he said good morning he asked ‘Do you still love me?’

I love him. I loved him. For 5 years. What now?

[theseventhcontinent]

“She was a beautiful dreamer. The kind of girl, who kept her head in the clouds, loved above the stars and left regret beneath the earth she walked on.”

[theseventhcontinent]

Nasil bir roller-coaster.. Bir tarafta agriyan bacaklar, aci, sizi diger taraftan herseye inat harikulade doganin buyusu..kar.. koca koca daglar.. ne muazzamlik.. kuslarin sesi..kimi guler yuzler..Saatlerce yurumek.. Alabildigine yurumek.. Agriya siziya ragmen yurumek. Aciya ragmen mutluluk.Gel benimsin. 

[theseventhcontinent]

Keske yapabilseydim. Keske gordugum su muhtesemligi resmedebilseydim. Keske su daglarin guzellligini hakettikleri kelimleri kullanarak anlatabilseydim. icimde yaratma duygusu. Uretme istedigi. Bi yetersizlik. Icimde bir bosluk. Bosluga inat disari cikmak isteyen ama bir kanal bulup cikamayan bir enerji. Icimde patliyor. Hissediyorum. Bazen napsam bilemiyorum beni cok yoruyor. Kendimi yukseklerden biraksam gecer mi? Uc onluk. Gec kaliyorum. Cik artik. Haydi bir olalim!

[theseventhcontinent]

Nepal’deydim. Hep olmak istedigim yerde. Daglardayim. Doga. Insanlar taniyorum. Bazilarina kiziyorum. Degisik deneyimler, turlu cesit hikayeler duyuyorum. Peki ama neden hala “present” degilim tamamen. Neden wifi sifresini sormadan edemiyorum. Yetsin artik. Bir kere de bulundudun yer yetsin.

[theseventhcontinent]

Annapurna II

 O kadar guzel ve ihtisamli ki.. iki yesil dagin arasindan bembeyaz bakiyor. Sonra kuslar civildiyor, bi o tarafa bi bu tarafa ucusup duruyorlar. Bazen uzerime aliniyorum. Sirf benim icin dans ediyorlar adeta! Uzaklardan gelen inek sesleri ve canlari.. Ne tatlilar.  Nereye gidersen git buralarda nehir hep yaninda. Gurul gurul su sesi hep kulaklarinda..

Cok yukseklerdeyim. 3000’in uzeri. Daha da cikasim var. Buraya kendimi bulmaya gelmistim. Neler yapiyordum? Istiyordum da bunu. Kac vucut gerekliydi? Sana dondugumde ben kim olacaktim artik. Gene de severdin beni. Herseye ragmen. Ama ask.. Ama tutku. Ama ates. Bunlar var miydi? Yok mu oldular. Nerelere gittiler? Hic mi tatmadik? Hayir hatirliyorum o tadi.

Aci.. Ne keskin bir aci. Karnimi agritiyor. Zevki alip gidiyor. Ama ne cok istiyorum. Muhtesem bakan bir adamin ustunde hersey bir hayal gibi. Cok atesli. Cok islak. He speaks dirty. O an geliyor iste. Aci geliyor. Mahvediyor. Benim inancimi, tutkumu, arzuma, digerinin bana hayran bakislarini alip gidiyor. Icine ediyor yani. 

Etme artik,, yeter!

[theseventhcontinent]

To push ourselves to the ridge of the known, to go beyond to live dangerously in the unknown. In the known, we react, in routine we live in the past, pulling plastic information of before to repeat the same shit in a different day. Live dangerously, respond to life, peel yourself away from the status quo. Reveal yourself, be an individual, the world has spent too long in paradigms of past, don’t be better, better is boring, be new.

by B.

[theseventhcontinent]

“Take it all back. Life is boring, except for flowers, sunshine, your perfect legs. A glass of cold water when you are really thirsty. The way bodies fit together. Fresh and young and sweet. Coffee in the morning. These are just moments. I struggle with the in-betweens. I just want to never stop loving like there is nothing else to do, because what else is there to do?”

[theseventhcontinent]

love yourself love your life

love yourself love your life

love yourself love your life

love yourself love your life

f**************************

[theseventhcontinent]

[theseventhcontinent]

[theseventhcontinent]

Out Beyond Ideas Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language - even the phrase "each other" - do not make any sense

[theseventhcontinent]

[theseventhcontinent]

A Rondel For Olivia

She smiles at the mirror, eyes blue as the sky Dreaming of Paris and faraway places Of people she’ll meet, their stories, their faces Wishing that time would quickly go by She’s ready to soar, she’s ready to fly Packed all her hopes in matching suitcases She smiles at the mirror, eyes blue as the sky Dreaming of Paris and faraway places She wants to go far, she wants to fly high Trying to catch those dreams that she chases No time to tie her childhood shoelaces Dancing, spinning, she turns with a sigh She smiles at the mirror, eyes blue as the sky

[theseventhcontinent]

Son anda binmekten vazgeçtiği bir otobüs, suskun kalınmış bir telefon araması, sinemada yanında duran boş koltuğa bakış… Tamamlanmamış bir cümledir insan. Yalnızlığıyla bile bir araya gelemeyecek kadar ıssız… Bütün bunlara rağmen hayat, yine de anlamlı bir cümle kurabilme isteğidir. İnsanın kendini tamamlayabilmesi isteği…

[theseventhcontinent]

Harfler amaçsızca kafamın içinde dönüyordu ve bir süre sonra anlamlı bir kelimeye, sese dönüşemeden can verip yığılıyorlardı. Cansız harflerin üst üste yığıldığı bir toplu mezar olmuştu zihnim. İnsanın söylemek istediklerini söyleyebilmesi nasıl da büyük bir nimetmiş meğer, o zaman anladım...

[theseventhcontinent]

La Luna

give me Time La Luna look everything is gone    everything is crying the water has turned cold

a Sacrifice falls between us now La Luna out of the three of us one is a sacrifice a cold line is drawn through the sky too late too late now

one by one all my suns are leaving me will they ever return to my life an Eagle flies out of my forehead splitting    the sky apart the maddening sound of an unseen Wheel    can be heard from afar

distant memories like crabs appear at sunset

late suns late suns also set look you come into my life with circles of metal

with unseen forces with dark incomprehensible anguish, you are reborn as yourself, dreadful is there nothing human in you La Luna

though everything looks possible, everything explicable somewhere things have been trapped come back Emperor let your dark eyes take me in with the night one last time

plait my hair with an ancient key La Luna shroud my face my wounds with cloths of black La Luna prepare me for that pagan festival

like silhouettes gliding past dark walls like ice flowers waiting for indigo nights like a lighthouse scanning the restless sea like a silver pendulum swaying in space the Hanged Man a Friar, a Knight nurturing mandrake with tears...

seeping under a blackened window    like a poisonous cloud of smoke        cloaking you            cloaking La Luna from beginning to end

give me Time La Luna            a little time let me hear once more the lyre of Selene and the Sirens, with their violet songs, from afar