thesilencesystem

[thesilencesystem]

Add “distress” to your pain scale

Pain scale? More like pain in the booty. No two people seem to read it the same way, and chronic folks tend to downplay their pain.

So here’s an idea: when asked to rate your pain, provide a number to rate your distress levels in addition to your pain levels.

Some examples:

“I’m at a 5 on the pain scale, but my distress is basically a 1 because this is my usual.”

“I’m at a 3 on the pain scale, but my distress is a 7 because this is new pain and affects a part of my body that’s very important to my work.”

It’s a great way to consider how your pain is impacting you—and to get a doctor’s attention where it’s actually needed.

[thesilencesystem]

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

[thesilencesystem]

largely agree with this, however, if you are in the Columbus/central ohio area, planned parenthood will try to run you around in circles and at the end of the day will not schedule you or allow you to be scheduled for any kind of trans-specific gender care; they claim all of their central ohio centers aren't equipped for it, or something the like. Equitas Health is an informed consent clinic and queer care center that works exactly like pp does elsewhere. if you're in the area and pp doesn't do what you need them to, i hope someone can make use of Equitas.

if you’re considering gender affirming care go through planned parenthood. i shit you not they do not make you go through all the bullshit (hopefully not but may be depending where you are) the only things i had to wait for with them were a wait list (a week) and for the pharmacy to fill (took so long my doc at PP just gave me what they had in stock because they care).

again take care and have extra precaution in areas that are more conservative, but if you travel to your nearest city you should be safer.

i did not need a note from my psychiatrist, instead they sat me with a social worker to ask some questions. it ended up not at all being about if i’m “trans enough” but just how i’m feeling, my experience, allergies and medical history. then they sent me to the doctor who reviewed and assessed health risks and gave me informed consent.

i was then trained by a member of staff to administer my own injections, and was given a choice between every method of testosterone (if i went with the gel, there would be a six hour period after applying each week i can’t touch my cats and they are absolute WHORES who love snuggles and i didn’t want them to transition too, so if that’s important to you, take it into consideration)

it was so much easier than going through a GP, who tended to shrug off everything i said, and wanted to take as much time as possible while i’m suffering with dysphoria. i fully reccommend going through planned parenthood because it is discreet, has options for payment with and without insurance, and will absolutely refer to you with the correct pronouns and name every. time.

and this is not an ad. i’m just sitting here before my third dose feeling thankful.

[thesilencesystem]

systems, multiples, plurals, etc. - you're allowed to just experience yourselves. you don't need other people to agree whatever you're experiencing is real - it's real just by you experiencing it. you can trust yourself. it's okay, i promise <3

[thesilencesystem]

the sun mourns in vain for the white-throated rail: a comic about disability and the unwanted able-bodied grief for past selves.

(click below for the image description!)

Keep reading

[thesilencesystem]

the idea that "there's no base threshold of suffering we need to clear to have our issues taken seriously" and "there are people with differing levels of disability, some of which will be more disabled than yourself " not only can co-exist. they must co-exist. the existence of more disabled people does not invalidate other disabled people and that should not be the take-away we have from their existence. neither should that be the take-away when we acknowledge that there are some things we can do that other disabled people cannot do. ableds will not take us any more seriously if we erase the existence of people worse off than us.

[thesilencesystem]

my narcissistic ass can't do shit without very specific and detailed instructions

[thesilencesystem]

Been thinking about how much people hate narcissists. It's upsetting. Can I please give some insight on why some of us are the way we are?

Yes? Good. Thanks.

For your consideration, I present...

My Narcissistic Personality Disorder backstory.

I ended up with NPD by being a “gifted kid” (and only child) who was continually praised by everyone around me for being exceptional. Family members, teachers, coaches, tutors, etc. all thought I was brilliant and quirky, and they all made sure to TELL ME just how amazing they thought I was. All the time. But here’s the thing: I had ADHD and was “level one” autistic, and they had no idea (and I had no idea)… because I was a girl. AFAB. And it was the early 90s. (And my ADHD and ASD masked each other phenomenally well.)

So, what happened? Well, I was a tiny child out in the rural Ozarks talking about god knows what (probably musical theatre back then, or maybe botany) using my little professor language, making all the adults go, “Oh wow, she’s a genius!” Meanwhile, I’m completely disconnected from my neurotypical peers, who saw me as weird and strange and uncool. Thus I was ostracized, bullied, ridiculed, mocked, and/or ignored by nearly everyone in my own age group. And I had very few friends. (My neurodivergent classmates were mostly wonderful, by the way.)

What do you think was the result? Yeah. I got the impression that I was special and could only be understood by other special people. You know, people like teachers and authority figures. Fellow gifted kids. Smart people. Important people.

...Which meant my peers were obviously unimportant. A bunch of brutes and idiots. THAT’S why they didn’t understand me. Because, for the record, I actually tried to connect to them, to understand them. And they refused to connect to me. It was intentional. A purposeful lack of understanding and connection on their part. I tried over and over and over and over with them. I could never figure out what I was doing wrong. They never told me. They just made fun of me.

And well. That shit kinda gets locked into a personality disorder sometimes. I dunno. How is that "the narcissist's" fault??? Maybe neurotypicals should suck less. Has anyone considered that possibility?

My apologies. I needed to get that out. Byeeeeee!

[thesilencesystem]

It's normal for triggers, both positive and negative, to change over time.

It's okay if something that never used to bother you now causes anxiety or flashbacks, and it's okay if something that used to really upset you no longer affects you at all.

It's also completely normal if things that used to positively trigger you to front no longer work for you, or if things that you didn't used to care about or like become positive triggers.

These changes don't mean you're "faking" your trauma or your system. They are normal experiences for those with DID/OSDD1/DDNOS/UDD, and no matter how often or how little your triggers may change, your experiences are still valid.

[thesilencesystem]

hey idk who needed to hear this but. being able to push yourself to function through pain does not, in fact, make you able bodied

[thesilencesystem]

Having chronic illness is wild because you'll be like "oh God I feel terrible today, I'm so shaky and sweaty and I'm getting so tired from going up the stairs, my joints are killing me and I can't talk without losing my breath" and your friends are like "oh no!!! is there any way I can help??" and you gotta look back at them like "no there's actually nothing we can do it just does this sometimes"

[thesilencesystem]

[thesilencesystem]

it's about the assumption that fate was more cruel than it needed to be and the revelation that it was actually kinder than it needed to be

[thesilencesystem]

Hey just a reminder that thought crime doesn’t exist and pretending to have empathy is just as good as having it! You can be the world’s biggest dickhead in the privacy of your own mind and as long as you’re outwardly kind it literally Does Not Matter

i actually really needed to hear this. love this outlook, thank you.

[thesilencesystem]

i would rather help 100000 fakers than make life harder for a single disabled person

[thesilencesystem]

*barges into your room* Hi, yes, guess what? It's okay to not know things about your system. It's okay to not know who's fronting, who you are currently, etc. It's normal to be blurry. It's okay to not have a headcount. It's okay to not know everything about your innerworld (if you have one!). It's okay to not know what someone looks like, their name, or how they identify.

This stuff is a process, you gotta remember that this is a disorder that's meant to be covert for survival. It's natural to not know things and anyone who says otherwise can piss off. You're doing great and with time things will get easier, promise!

[thesilencesystem]

One of the things that feel really difficult to explain to singlets is how sometimes our emotions just.... appear or disappear. There's no slow build up, no riding the wave. And we've now figured out that these emotional "mood swings", as we used to call them, were almost always accompanied by a switch in who's fronting. We could be axiously shaking and crying one moment, then something abruptly triggers another alter out and we appear happy and playful the next. Our friends always found these moments to be incredibly unnerving, especially when they would bring it up with us and we'd act as if nothing had happened or even forgotten the very emotions we were feeling not even 5 minutes ago. It's especially frustrating when we know something's wrong, we know we were upset earlier, but now we don't feel those emotions at all and have no idea why we were upset and so we end up feeling like a liar and doubting our own experiences.