thesmileghost

[thesmileghost]

.stage 4 fear of trying. by frnkiero andthe cellabration

If I face my fear

Would my skies be all but clear?

Probably not, then again

I've always held my doubts so close to my heart

That these frames trapped all my better days

There they stay frozen and unscathed

Though I've traveled far

I've been back to the start

And I found some scars in places I have never shown to anyone

I don't know why it took so long to get back home

"If you could hear the dreams I've had, my dear..."

Yea I know, you've heard that line before

But if I had the chance to scream all the things I've underlined

Yea you'd find I'm a thief

But my taste is so refined

And I traveled far, I reached for the stars

But those stars don't reach back

They're better left alone

Everyone will tell you

I never felt more alone than when I fell

I don't know why it took so long to get back home

All these miles just to get back home

Travelled all these miles just to get back home

If I face my fear

Would my skies be all but clear?

Probably not, then again

I've always held my doubts so close to my heart

That these frames trapped all my better days

There they stay frozen and unscathed

Though I've traveled far

I've been back to the start

And I found some scars in places I have never shown to anyone

I don't know why it took so long to get back home

"If you could hear the dreams I've had, my dear..."

Yea I know, you've heard that line before

But if I had the chance to scream all the things I've underlined

Yea you'd find I'm a thief

But my taste is so refined

And I traveled far, I reached for the stars

But those stars don't reach back

They're better left alone

Everyone will tell you

I never felt more alone than when I fell

I don't know why it took so long to get back home

All these miles just to get back home

Travelled all these miles just to get back home

Travelled all these miles just to get back home

[thesmileghost]

A long life full of terror is still a long life. And the terror subsides after a little while until you can barely distinguish it from the clouds. (I promise.)

— Jackson Holbert, from “The 26th Birthday Poem,” in Winter Stranger

[thesmileghost]

Paperdoll by Kittie

I look at her in that paper dress

I wonder why she won't burn

She's just a paperdoll

That's all

Just a paperdoll

I dress her up, she knocks me down

I dress her up, she knocks me down

They try her on for size, she fits nice, one size fits all

They try her on for size, she fits nice, one size fits all

Now her soul is dead

Now her body's raw

You can numb her pain

Watch the blood run down her face, but don't take notice

Watch the blood run down her arms, please don't take notice

I know you have her soul, & I see it in your eyes

She knows you have her soul, & she sees it in your eyes

Now her soul is dead

Now her body's raw

Wash away her pain

She wants you to eat her pain

She wants you to eat her remains

She wants you to eat her pain

She wants you to eat her remains

[thesmileghost]

(I should) take better care by Cody Frost

The plants on my windowsill are dying

and that was the reason last time you saw me crying

everything seems to be going fine but I am holding your hand

and you're not holding mine

Call me cliche

call me a blag

call me a child

but please call me back

I feel like my brain is under attack

it's making me an insomniac

and I'm not fighting personal Demons

these are just Demons we all have to face

I don't expect anything else from you my darling

I certainly don't expect you to stop me from falling

I should take better care of myself

I'm not fighting personal Demons

these are just Demons we all have to face

I'm not fighting personal Demons

these are just Demons we all have to face

Call me cliche

call me a blag

call me a child

but please call me back

I feel like my brain is under attack

it's making me an insomniac

and I'm not fighting personal Demons

these are just Demons we all have to face

I'm not fighting personal Demons

these are just Demons we all have to face

I'm not fighting personal Demons

[thesmileghost]

Strike 3 by Ferry

Channeling love through the noise of sinful thoughts becomes a

Challenge with no guiding voice to pave the way, you say

This safe existence's lacking in joy

But as opposed to what? The world that

Just wants to play and break you like a toy?

Channeling love through the fear of being torn apart by

Crowds of your barbarian peers, the human filth around us

Wants to trample all that is dear

Under the guise of watchful reason

But no, of course, I'm being too austere

A thousand years ago it was a tepid autumn day

A lock has sealed this door

But no more

Blinded by the sun

You spin the barrel of a

Fully-loaded gun

"If there's no winning

Might as well just have some fun"

I want to scream, when will you

Get it through your skull

That I will not

Let you drown

"The light is gone -

The thought keeps running through your mind

But fearing life is easier than fighting, right?"

Oh please, just hide

Behind this back of mine and save your helpless spite

Knock on the door - access denied!

Channeling love through the smoke and cheap substandard spirits

Laughing, you got off the hook, but you keep dancing in its

Shadow, now I overlooked your playing buddies with a monster

I fostered hope to reclaim what you took

And in a thousand years I'll see a tepid autumn day

And only think about its grace, but

Blinded by the sun

You play roulette still with a

Fully-loaded gun

A disappointing image

Always on the run

Oh I believed that you could

Change your ways somehow

But you just keep

Crashing down

"So are you done?"

Your quiet voice is filled with spite

Ironic, right? Why don't you get out of my sight

"Oh, you're too kind"

The day goes up in flames

You know, I really tried

Knock on the door - access denied!

Everything will pass

The edge will dull -

I know what's best for you, and after all

A day will come

Warm and bright, when I

Tear down these dismal shelter walls

[thesmileghost]

The End. by My Chemical Romance

Now, come on, come all to this tragic affair

Wipe off that makeup, what's in is despair

So throw on the black dress mix in with the lot

You might wake up and notice you're someone you're not

If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see

You can find out first hand what it's like to be me

So gather 'round, piggies, and kiss this goodbye

I'd encourage your smiles, I'll expect you won't cry

Another contusion, my funeral jag

Here's my resignation, I'll serve it in drag

You've got front row seats to the penitence ball

When I grow up, I want to be nothing at all

I said yeah, yeah

I said yeah, yeah

Come on, come on, come on, I said

Save me! (Get me the hell out of here)

Save me! (Too young to die and my dear)

You can't! (If you can hear me, just)

Save me! (Walk away, yeah)

[thesmileghost]

Country House by Blur

So the story begins

City dweller, successful fella

Thought to himself "Oops, I've got a lot of money (I got money)

Caught in a rat race, terminally

I'm a professional cynic but my heart's not in it

I'm paying the price of living life at the limit

Caught up in the century's anxiety"

Yes, it preys on him (it preys on him)

He's getting thin (getting thin)

Try the simple life

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country

Watching afternoon repeats and the food he eats in the country

He takes all manner of pills and piles up analyst bills in the country

Oh, it's like an animal farm, lots of rural charm in the country

He's got morning glory and life's a different story

Everything's going jackanory (jackanory)

Touched with his own mortality

He's reading Balzac, knocking back Prozac

It's a helping hand that makes you feel wonderfully bland (close your eyes, yeah)

Oh, it's the century's remedy

For the faint at heart (faint at heart)

A brand-new start (new start)

Try the simple life

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country

He's got a fog in his chest, so he needs a lot of rest in the country

He doesn't drink, smoke, laugh, takes herbal baths in the country

But you'll come to no harm on the animal farm in the country

In the country

In the country

In the country

Blow, blow me out, I am so sad, I don't know why?

Blow, blow me out, I am so sad, I don't know why?

Oh, he lives in a house, a very big house in the country

Watching afternoon repeats and the food he eats in the country

He takes all manner of pills and piles up analyst bills in the country

Oh, it's like an animal farm lots of rural charm in the country

Oh, he lives in a house, a very big house in the country

He's got a fog in his chest, so he needs a lot of rest in the country

He doesn't drink, smoke, laugh, takes herbal baths in the country

But you'll come to no harm on the animal farm in the country

La, la, la, la

I wanna be

I wanna be

[thesmileghost]

Artificial Flowers by Fangbanger

Everywhere I go it follows me

It claws my arms but not so deep

It's out for blood

But it's all the same to me

It wakes you up when you're dead asleep

It creeps inside and your knees get weak

I try to run but just can't find my feet

Too much to live

Too much to die for

I've got to give

Anything for love and war

It's what I'm here for

Don't lose it now

Close my eyes and just breathe

You think about it day to day

It's in your head it won't go away

These feelings they might try to drag you down

You can let it in but don't let it win

Embrace the beast like your own kin

Just know that it's okay to be afraid

Too much to live

Too much to die for

I've got to give

Anything for love and war

It's what I'm here for

Don't lose it now

Close my eyes and just breathe

Too much to live

Too much to die for

I've got to give

Anything for love and war

It's what I'm here for

Don't lose it now

Close my eyes and just breathe

Just breathe

And just breath

And just (breathe)

[thesmileghost]

Piedmont by Destroy Boys

Looks like I'm late for the party

Everyone knows the attire but me

Glass wall separates us

Catch a glimpse into different books

On different shelves

Make room, please

It feels like I'm floating

Far from myself

Failed to notice the scenery change

Surrounding me is age

Like tomorrow happened yesterday

Oh, the world's blue

Make room, please

It feels like I'm floating

Far from myself

Nostalgic for memories I haven't had

I can't put my finger on it

There are all these things, that I'll never know

All these things that I'll never know

Camouflage restricted

Or cast out

Liberated

I wanna know what they know

I wanna know what they know

Or do I?

Make room, please

It feels like I'm floating

Far from myself

Nostalgic for memories I haven't had

I can't put my finger on it

There are all these things that I'll never know

All these things, that I'll never know

Nostalgic for memories I haven't had

I can't put my finger on it

There are all these things that I'll never know

All these things that I'll never know

[thesmileghost]

Agoraphobia by Autoheart

If you gave me all the money

I would buy such ordinary

Things like TV magazines and coffee beans

I have such simple needs

Tried on 13 different pairs of

Shoes and not one made me want to

Leave this blessèd house of mine

That’s just fine

I really don’t want to go anywhere

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I am dented by the skies

They keep me up at night

And it’s not agoraphobia

It’s just a lack of air supply

That keeps me up at night

I know I’m getting older

But I’m told that I’m not

Momentarily out of my mind

Don’t need to be hospitalized

To make me realize that I’ve

Got a problem, no I haven’t let me be

I really don’t want to go anywhere

(to go anywhere)

I don’t really want to go anywhere

(I don’t really want to go anywhere)

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I am dented by the skies

They keep me up at night

And it’s not agoraphobia

It’s just a lack of air supply

That keeps me up at night

I know I’m getting older

But I’m told that I’m not

Momentarily out of my

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I don’t really want to go anywhere

(I will not go)

I don’t really want to go anywhere

(I will not go)

I don’t really want to go anywhere

(I will not go)

I don’t really want to go anywhere

I am dented by the skies

They keep me up at night

And it’s not agoraphobia

It’s just a lack of air supply

That keeps me up at night

I know I’m getting older

But I’m told that I’m not

Momentarily out of my mind

[thesmileghost]

West Coast Smoker by Fall Out Boy

Wishes bounce me weightless

The infrared scope on pointlessness

The bulls are sedated and this fight's fixed

Don't feel bad for the suicidal cats

Gotta kill themselves 9 times before they get it right

The P.A. system keeps my heart, heart beating tonight

Oh, hell, yes, I'm a nervous wreck

Oh, hell, yes, the drugs just make me reset

Knock once for the father

Twice for the son

Three times for the holy ghost

Come on in the water's warm

Come on like a sugar cube but with a kick in the head

Like putting wings on lead

Your eyes are blocking my starlight

I'm the last of my kind

(And that's all that should matter to you)

Follow the disorganized religion of my head

And we'll never get through customs

Let's just take off again instead

Got my degree in the gutter

My heart broken in dorms of the Ivy League

Oh, hell, yes, I'm a nervous wreck

Oh, hell, yes, the drugs just make me reset

Knock once for the father

Twice for the son

Three times for the holy ghost

Knock once for the father

Twice for the son

Three times for the holy ghost

I'm a nervous wreck, I'm a nervous wreck

I'm a nervous wreck

I'm a n-n-nervous wreck

I'm a nervous wreck, I'm a nervous wreck

(Oh, hell, yes)

The drugs just make me reset(The drugs just make me reset)

Knock once for the father(Knock once for the father)

Twice for the son

Three times(Three times) for the holy ghost

Three times (Three times) for the holy ghost

Three times (Three times) for the holy ghost

[thesmileghost]

Thick Skull by Paramore

I am a magnet for broken pieces

I am attracted to broken people

I pick 'em up and now my fingers are bleeding

And it looks like my fault

And it looks like I'm caught red-handed

Hit over the head, epiphany

Over my head, repeatedly

Thick skull never did nothing for me

Same lesson again? Come on, give it to me

Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me

Only I know where all the bodies are buried

Thought by now I'd find 'em just a little less scary

Might get easier but you don't get used to it

Keep on autopilot, hey, hey

What's the body count up to now, captain?

Hit over the head, epiphany

Over my head, repeatedly

Thick skull never did nothing for me

Same lesson again? Come on, give it to me

Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me

Come on out with your hands up

Come on out with your hands up

I'm coming out with my hands up, oh

Come on out with your hands up

Hit over the head, epiphany

Over my head, repeatedly

Thick skull never did nothing for me

Same lesson again? Come on, give it to me

I pick 'em up (give it to me, give it to me)

And now my fingers are bleeding (give it to me)

And it looks like I'm caught red-handed

[thesmileghost]

Nashville by Liz Phair

They don't know what they like so much about it

They just go for any shiny old bauble, and nobody sparkles like you

But I can't imagine it in better terms

Then naked, half-awake, about to shave and go to work

And I'm starting to think it could happen to me like it did to you

And I'm starting to actually feel it seep through the slick divide now

I don't crack the door too far for anyone who's pushing too hard on me

They don't know what they like so much about it

Maybe it goes on the other side of the hallway

The writing's so small from here

But I can't imagine it in better terms

Then naked, half-awake, about to shave and go to work

I won't decorate my love

[thesmileghost]

Full-Time Loser by John Cooper Clarke

Stop that horse

He wears my shirt

Regret remorse

O how they hurt

I knock on doors

They turn to dirt

Always the beggar

Never the chooser

Half-clever

Full-time loser

From the slumberland

That time forgot

To the wonderland

Of a spineless clot

Who understands

Who calls the shots

You might know

It’s another user

Part-time poet

Full-time loser

[thesmileghost]

Moonsickness by Penelope Scott

There's so much to do

I'll never have the wherewithal

To do it all again

Or fucking do it all at all

I love you so much

I don't wanna go but

Everybody knows this place is dying as am I

I might not get another change

It's such a careful dance and

I am such a fuckup if you only knew

That I am such a fuckup

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars

And I'm the worst mistake that God has ever made

You seem to integrate so fucking well

But I make lemons out of lemonade

Blood clots and death cramps

Injections and leakages

The election cycle and the tide

Aztec circles of the death of all deaths

But the beast refuses to die

In your guts you know it's all destroyed

You could've had a boy

If you had children now you think

You might just put them down

None of us belong

Everything I do is wrong

And soon there will be nobody left around

And in your blood you know what's right

And in your bones you know what's wrong

And in your throat you know you're lying to kids

And you know nobody belongs in this Hell

And there is not a single choice left to make

I am God's worst mistake

And you seem happy on the knife's edge

But I just lick the blade

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars

And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made

You seem to integrate so fucking well

But I make lemons out of lemonade

Blood clots and death cramps

Gluts and depressions

The business cycle and the tide

Concentric circles of torture wheels

But the beast refuses to die

Atomistic rational behavior

Invisible hand savior

Fucking up your definitions even though it's life or death

Who fucking told you you were selfish

Or even self-interested

Don't you think it matters when we with our friends the best

And fuck I'm not a Marxist

I'm not a fucking democrat

Because of all this bullshit I'm not anything at all

All I wanted was a framework

None of them can live here

There's nothing to believe in and there won't be until we fall

And it's not all you man

You were just a kid once

God I'm such a fuck up

If you only knew that I am such a fuck up

I've got one-hundred hours to rearrange the stars

And I'm the worst mistake your God has ever made

I can't get the numbers right

I can't fucking count because not one goddamned thing is in its place

Blood clots and death camps

Gluts and depressions

The business cycle and the tide

You fuckers know it's all built on lies

But the beast refuses to die

And so I guess well neither can I

[thesmileghost]

Canary by Liz Phair

I learn my name

I write with a number two pencil

I work up to my potential

I earn my name

I come when called

I jump when you circle the cherry

I sing like a good canary

I come when called

I come, that's all

Send it up on fire

Death before dawn

Send it up on fire

Death before dawn

I clean the house

I put all your books in an order

I make up a colorful border

I clean my mouth

'Cause froth comes out

Send it up on fire

Death before dawn

Send it up on fire

Death before dawn

[thesmileghost]

Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott

As an American (fuck)

So like, I guess they call it the sophomore slump

Always crying and always (drunk)

A few dead, more gone, and the rest well on their way

Thanks! (I hate it)

So everyone I love is stuck

Because this that, the other, and the state fucked up

We covered it in a class that I'm about to fail

Well, I feel better now (UwU)

Cigarette ahegao (uh-huh)

I hadn't had another episode, except last night, it was touch and go

No need to cry about it

UwU

Hey incels, just have sex (duh)

Trash on the walls and trash on the floor

Liquid eyeliner stuck to the door

Screwing everything up, doing everything wrong

In my defense I wasn't supposed to be around this long, so

Well, I feel better now (UwU)

Cigarette ahegao (UwU)

No need to cry about it (UwU)

(Oh, I don't smoke, I just like how it smells)

Get thin on smoke and coffee

Get fat on pie and biscuits

God bless this perfect shitstorm

I hope that it takes me with it

I have a soft small body

Strawberries make it happy

Someday, I'll leave the country

I hope to have you with me

Get wrecked on becherovka

Get fucked on smoke and wine

Someday, I'll have my own life

I'll leave this all behind