thesoundofmichsic

[thesoundofmichsic]

[thesoundofmichsic]

New hobby: dropping the worst possible discourse topic I can come up with into the general chat of a server and watching the other members swarm their keyboards like piranhas

[thesoundofmichsic]

[thesoundofmichsic]

Starbucks funded the police in Atlanta so here’s their recipes

[thesoundofmichsic]

standing up too quickly gives me temporary access to shrimp colours

[thesoundofmichsic]

me every time someone says anything to me

[thesoundofmichsic]

types of nap, ranked by me (an experienced napper)

the siesta: the oldest and most reliable form of nap! you go to sleep around noon. you wake up an hour or two later feeling well-rested and prepared to face the rest of the day. this is the pinnacle of nap perfection. 10/10

the businessman’s nap: you have a limited amount of time on your hands, so you schedule a nap into your packed timetable and set an alarm. you spend half the duration of the nap worrying that you’re wasting valuable nap time by lying awake, and the other half sunk into a torpor so deep that when your alarm rings, it takes you a good few minutes to remember your own name. once you’ve splashed some cold water on your face you feel much better. 7/10

EW STICKY: you were cold at first, so you piled on the blankets and wriggled into your favourite comfy sweater. this was nice. now you are awake and trapped in a horrible sweaty gordian knot of your own devising. this is not nice. when you peel off the sweater you find to your horror that you have left an actual damp patch behind on the bed, like some sort of giant dead fish that can’t stop leaking its gross fish juice everywhere. 5/10 it was at least cosy to start with

the interrupted nap: someone barges into your room and starts talking to you. “wtsfhggl?” you enquire. they give you a judgemental look, and ask why you are sleeping in the middle of the day. “ghhfshsxkls,” you reply, graciously. they tell you to get up. you get up. the rest of the day feels like an extension of whatever dream you are having before you were disturbed. you boil with quiet resentment and shame. 4/10

the unsuccessful nap: you are tired. you want to take a nap. you lie down. you wait. you wait. time moves sluggishly forwards. you wait. your brain feels like a cup of mushy porridge but your eyes refuse to close. the noise of your fan is infuriating. you wait. eventually, you are forced to accept that this nap is simply not going to happen, and you have wasted 45 minutes doing absolutely nothing. god fucking dammit. 2/10

the handy-dandy fast-forward button: you really just want this day to be over as soon as possible, and the best way you can think of to do that is to take a nap. you only meant to sleep for an hour, but when you wake up it is already evening. the day is over. you glean no satisfaction from this. you kill time until you feel justified in going back to bed again, and spend the rest of the night tossing and turning, unable to sink back into the blissful stupor from which you so recently emerged. 0/10

The Unpleasantness: when you fall asleep, it is dark. when you awaken, it is light. this is the natural order of sleep, but perverted into a form that is frightening and wrong. you feel deeply unsettled and do not know why. are you sick? what does time mean? what does anything mean? maximum despair. -1000/10.

[thesoundofmichsic]

I really enjoy just existing in hotels. The long identical hallways. The soulless abstract art. The weird noises the air-conditioner makes. Strange city lights in the window. Six stories off the ground. Strangers chatting in the hall. Nothing in the dresser. No past, but an infinite present. 

[thesoundofmichsic]

[thesoundofmichsic]

This is literally the last month you can reblog this joke

[thesoundofmichsic]

the first people to ever use terms of endearment for each other must have been so in love i'm in tears just thinking about it

[thesoundofmichsic]

when im in a bookshop or library and im trying to read the titles of the books on the shelves

[thesoundofmichsic]

You can tell how someone’s mental health is doing by paying attention to how much emphasis they put on the line “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all” when they’re singing bohemian rhapsody

[thesoundofmichsic]

when people ask where you see yourself in 10 years

[thesoundofmichsic]

robert pattinson singlehandedly destroying every single joker before he’s even put the suit on

[thesoundofmichsic]

i love when professors try to use modern slang to relate to students. my professor referred to the theater of pompey as “the place where caesar got vibe checked by a bunch of senators” and i lost it. 

[thesoundofmichsic]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god