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*me eating something that I know will make my tummy hurt* i don't really care if this makes my tummy hurt

*a few hours later when my tummy hurts* oh... the quencies ...

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does anyone know if its worth the potential disappointment to have hope for a better tomorrow

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sorry for thinking fully clothed sex is hot. sorry for thinking that making someone ruin multiple layers of valuable fabric separating them from me because they're so desperate for my touch is attractive. i'm so fucking sorry alright.

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i think that "claims to be pro life dies anyway" is the singular funniest phrase ever invented because there's just no coming back from that unless we suddenly get really good at necromancy

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always remember the Final Girl Code:

- do it alone

- do it scared

- do it with a knife in your hand if you have to

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Hermann Teddy Tapir

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Learning a new language by watching period dramas, my friend says I’m doing a good job but I should stop talking like a scheming royal harem concubine

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big beautiful world full of books i haven’t read

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please don't piss me off i need to be a sweetie pie to keep my heart alive

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so what youre gonna wanna do is crush the garlic and ginger instead of just slicing it ok, it releases more of those good flavors. yoshi is going to eat me and turn me into an egg now, i love you. remember everything i taught you

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Vash sketch!

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you Applied to 200 jobs and are still unemployed . hope u dont mind we Leak ur data. and no, we will Not be calling back

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god forbid a white boy get a little bit freaky after dark