thestonedphilosopher

[thestonedphilosopher]

“And when I’d fight, you used to tell me I was brave”

[thestonedphilosopher]

Sometimes self-care is, actually, NOT getting onto the computer and little treats and watching youtube videos. Sometimes those things are self-care, but sometimes they're also avoidant behaviors.

Sometimes self care is waking up and just. Fucking getting in the car. And driving to the bank. And the store. And buying the cat litter. And changing the cat boxes you've been avoiding because your brains been stuck in a hole. And picking up the trash you've been piling up. And getting a load into the wash. And mowing the lawn before the village council sends you a formal complaint and potential-fines warning.

Like its hard and annoying to do because it sucks. It sucks so much. But if I don't start working on this pile of bullshit I've let build up because it stinks and i was stuck in deer-in-headlights mode, I risk letting it turn into fuckery. I do not have the patience for fuckery that I once - foolishly! - thought I had.

[thestonedphilosopher]

M104, Sombrero Galaxy

[thestonedphilosopher]

Gamma Cygni

[thestonedphilosopher]

[thestonedphilosopher]

So someone pointed out to me recently that in a few years, maybe a few decades, the history of the us during covid is probably going to get twisted. The fact that we all had to make and wear cloth masks is going to be hailed as a symbol of how we “"came together as a nation”“” or whatever the fuck propaganda spin they try to put on it.

So I just want to say, for the record, the time of the corona virus pandemic was not a time when america came together.

This was a time when people hoarded toilet paper and sanitizing supplies either for themselves or to sell at absurd prices to the desperate people who didn’t get to the store soon enough during the shortages

This was a time when scared parents were sending their kids to finish school in the spring in plastic trash bags because they couldn’t think of any other way to possibly keep their families safe

This was a time when grocery store and retail and service workers were forced to keep working whether they wanted to risk their health or not because they couldn’t make rent otherwise and the people with enough privilege to have remote jobs tried to repay them with applause instead of fair wages

This was a time when nurses had the hold the hands of multiple dying people every day as their families watched their loved ones die over a video call because the hospital couldn’t risk having visitors

This was a time when city governments had to handle so many eviction hearings that they rented out convention centers and called in the national guard instead of doing a rent freeze to stop predatory landlords

This was a time when racism and police brutality were so unbearably horrible that people protested in the streets for months even though there was a god damn pandemic that our federal government wasn’t doing shit to stop and the cops were so mad that they were being asked to stop beating up black people that they were beating up everyone

This was a time when schools being forced to reopen in the fall or lose their federal funding had to draft templates for letters if a teacher or a staff person or a fucking child died from exposure to corona at school

This was a time when the president of the United states demanded that the cdc stop releasing data about all the people who were dying because of the warnings he ignored for months were making him look bad

This was a time when some state governments didn’t mandate masks and forced businesses to reopen because they didn’t want to pay unemployment to people trying to stay safe at home anymore

This was a time when Jeff Bezos was on track to be a fucking trillionare because everyone was ordering things on amazon instead of going to the store and the people he worked to death to get it didn’t see a single cent of it

This was a time when instead of providing homeless people with housing, we painted boxes on the ground to show homeless people how far away the had to be on the street to maintain social distancing

We did not come together to make cloth masks. Cloth masks represent nothing less than the absolute and utter failure of a nation’s government to inform and protect its citizens

This was not a time when we came together. This was a time when we survived, and not all of us made it.

This was a time when people casually talked about how many human lives the economy was worth without considering the evil that had just come out of their mouths.

This was a time when thousands of us died for profit and the ego of a cheating narcissists con man who scammed his way into the white house

This was a time that we survived. Most of us tried to do the right thing, stay home, limit trips to the store and socializing, wear a mask. And still, so many of us were lost. Thousands every day.

But that wasn’t a good enough reason for some people, for those among us who were too selfish to recognize the responsibilities we have toward one another as human beings.

This was not a time that we came together

This was a time that we survived

Not all of us made it

And those of us who did survive will never forget the evil we saw daily in our politicians and those around us

[thestonedphilosopher]

I have finally learned that non-Autistic people only expect a very limited amount of information to be transferred to them at a time. If you try to explain something to them in too much detail or add too much background info, they get overwhelmed in processing it, and they don't know which details are important to parse, and so they get frustrated with you for bombarding them, or they don't listen and miss out on what's important. This isn't them being any less intelligent or caring than anyone else, by the way, it is just a processing difference. And so while it may feel unnatural at first, I have learned that if I want a non-Autistic-seeming person to understand me, I should give them less information and let them color in between the lines. It keeps their mind engaged and keeps them from becoming upset!

I just pick the most OBVIOUSLY important information ("pick me up at the drive thru"), without any of the background or the "why" behind it (the bus broke down and it was raining so i'm under the awning at the drive thru to stay dry) , and I don't worry whether they understand it fully, because they actually do not want all that extraneous information.

hilariously the place where i finally mastered this was on Grindr. I used to explain to people at length my preferences, dysphoria triggers, specifics of where and when we could meet and why my schedule was what it was...and I rapidly figured out that it's much more effective to just tell someone the bare minimum of what you are looking for and where you currently are. and only get into anything deeper if the situation warrants it.

When I talk to an Autistic, conversely, I let the information flow freely because I know it will be helpful to them, and because it's fun to get to be very didactic and precise, too

[thestonedphilosopher]

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Admittedly, when I first saw this headline, my immediate thought was, "yeah, no shit," but it's good to have studies giving hard numbers. It also makes me feel a little better, weirdly, because at least our struggles with rent aren't just because we suck at money or something. It's the system, not the individual.

[thestonedphilosopher]

maybe i am too old for tiktok

[thestonedphilosopher]

i no longer respect the hustle i want universal basic income and dignity for everyone

[thestonedphilosopher]

you know what’s a good feeling? a real good feeling?

when sunbeams do this.

that is all.

[thestonedphilosopher]

At least do the sky puppies right.

[thestonedphilosopher]

Spirit Animal is racist.

Patronus was invented by a transphobe.

I think it’s time we all suck it up and say what we mean: fursona.

[thestonedphilosopher]

i have the opposite of that “everyone is an npc” mentality people have embraced where i’m instead like. the person next to me in line has someone they can’t wait to go home to, the person picking up their mail has felt devastation before, everyone in this grocery store is doing their sunday shopping, maybe the person that just honked at me is having the worst day of their life, my neighbor has doctors appointments and favorite foods and a song they can’t stand to hear anymore… you are all fully realized complex people and that is overwhelming me on a spiritual level…

[thestonedphilosopher]