thestrangeduck

[thestrangeduck]

It’s been a while, but I found somebody that makes me happy. Somebody that treats me like a queen and in return he is my king. I haven’t felt this in a long time, you know, that actual genuine love. I don’t know if I’ve ever truly felt it, but I know I do now 💕

No longer do I have to be hurt or falling asleep in tear, wondering if I’m enough or looking in the mirror and wishing-no praying I was a different human being. Because now I’m his. And his is all I want to be.

[thestrangeduck]

I just can’t breathe.

And I don’t know if I want to anymore.

[thestrangeduck]

You have such a spell on me

[thestrangeduck]

It’s going to take a lot to get me away from you. But honestly I hope I never have to be.

[thestrangeduck]

Even when I don’t love you, I love you.

[thestrangeduck]

I love life but I don’t want to live anymore.

[thestrangeduck]

Every day I am more and more attracted to you.

[thestrangeduck]

Today I woke up next to somebody I adore. I looked at my body in the mirror and loved it. I’m currently listening to the light snores of this person that reaches for me in their unconsciousness. Everything in my life right now is so wrong, but it’s so right.

[thestrangeduck]

I will never stop looking at you like I love you. Mainly because I think I genuinely do.

[thestrangeduck]

I really like this boy and he’s going to make me lose my mind.

[thestrangeduck]

Im so alone.

[thestrangeduck]

I just wanna fuck

[thestrangeduck]

I self harmed after the longest period of being clean in about four years and now I’m back at the beginning. I feel so hopeless...

Have you ever heard of Kevin Hines? Over 15 years ago, he rode a bus to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco and leaped over the railing and into the water. Only 2% of people who make that suicide attempt survive. He is one of them. 

It took him four seconds to fall, and in that four seconds he decided he wanted to live after all. 

He landed in the water in a manner that saved him from destroying his body. Did his thoughts of wanting to live cause him to maneuver his body that way? Maybe, maybe not. I’d like to believe they did.

The point is, in 4 seconds, his entire life changed, somehow, for the better. He got treatment for his mental illness and still works as a guest speaker on suicide prevention to this day.

He changed his life in 4 seconds. 4 seconds was all it took. That’s enormous. 

My dear, so is 4 years. If he was able to do all that in 4 seconds, to start completely over in 4 seconds…just think what you can do in the next 4 seconds after you read this. You’ll make it to 4 years again, 4 years clean. And then 5. And then 6. And then, one day, you’ll remember this message, and you’ll be at 20.

Pinky promise. <3

[thestrangeduck]

I don’t want to die, but I think about suicide and death often. It’s my best friends birthday today and I still find myself sitting in the kitchen with everyone playing board games, wondering how long I could sit in the bathtub bleeding out before somebody found me.

Again, I don’t want to die, but I think about death often... and the thoughts kinda of give me comfort.

I hate myself.

[thestrangeduck]

Great sex & flautas 👌

[thestrangeduck]

On your worst days I promise to pull you closer

[thestrangeduck]

I feel like I need to cut everyone off for a while just to find myself again.