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the dumpy sub 6 foot guy looking at his phone in front of the condoms locker waiting for you to smile and unlock it, you notice his narrow maxilar palate and shallow midface, start laughing and turn away. suddenly the earth wrenches open beneath you casting you into a vast sulfuric waste and before the fumes choke the life out of you you try to make eye contact with the man who used Dark Elemental Shamanism to kill you but he looks away because hes shy

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Doodled my boss with devil horns and his tongue sticking out covered in stink lines on a sticky note and when I put the pen down the cubicle next to me burst into flames

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Tell us more about ur crush! ^.^

I’m so shy… maybe 1 fact. My crush is born on the planet of forests.

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My date when I do my "Chinese Yoda" impression

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*shotgun in mouth* [GARBLED] Moo deng just SLAPPED chaplel rowling at the Oscars !!!!! *starts sucking and moaning a little bit*

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im adding to my resume that ih ave 15 years of experience in AVGN solutions

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absolutely amazing things happening right now. I had to triple check that these were real

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why is bass so expensiveeeeee

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most american males dont want you unless youre their stepmom and are also princess peach with a huge penis

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i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

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