thetimba

[thetimba]

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

[thetimba]

The Food and Drug Administration is warning the public not to eat, sell or serve certain Great Value raw frozen shrimp sold at Walmart due to possible contamination with Cesium-137, a radioactive isotope.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection alerted the FDA about possible Cesium-137, or Cs-137, detected in shipping containers at four U.S. ports, the FDA said Tuesday in a press release. Testing on frozen shrimp from the distributor, Indonesia's BMS Foods, also tested positive, the FDA said.

However, no shrimp that has tested positive for Cesium-137 has entered the U.S. food supply, according to the FDA.

The FDA is still recommending a recall on all products from BMS Foods that were shipped after the company's shipping containers tested positive for Cesium-137, even though the products themselves have not tested positive.

The following Great Value brand frozen shrimp products should not be eaten, sold or served:

Great Value brand frozen raw shrimp, lot code: 8005540-1, Best by Date: 3/15/2027

Great Value brand frozen raw shrimp, lot code: 8005538-1, Best by Date: 3/15/2027

Great Value brand frozen raw shrimp, lot code: 8005539-1, Best by Date: 3/15/2027

[thetimba]

no im not explaining

reblog this.

[thetimba]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[thetimba]

there’s something very beautiful about being able to try again tomorrow

[thetimba]

My current not-approved-by-the-government opinion is that im not anyone's parent and i should not be responsible for random teenagers online. If I post smth thats 'meant for adults' and its labled as such then what happens from there is literally not my problem. If a teen- who is fully capable of turning on self moderation settings on their own btw- doesn't use a site's provided self moderation settings and they see boobs or dicks then like literally whatever, its neither the end of the world or a big deal. It shouldn't fall on me or a website or a tech company to do a parent's job, and also frankly i don't think a parent should be breathing down their 16 year old's neck on the off chance they do actually want to look at tits, but thats a discussion that americans will fucking throw a fit at so maybe we'll discuss that another day in better company.

"But what about young children!!" see thats! where parents should be involved- that is to say, why are you letting your young child on the internet in the first place, you fucking idiot.

[thetimba]

off to my job as a speech therapist hope i don’t get musically tortured by two tap dancing homosexuals

[thetimba]

If you haven’t changed your url in years tell me why as someone in your same boat it’s for science

[thetimba]

I'm ambidextrous in the sense that either of my hands could be just as easily trained for any task, but I use my right hand for almost everything because the world is built for right-handed people. I frequently forget that it's a thing before someone goes "wait, are you left-handed? :0" when I'm in the middle of something, and I look down and the tool I was working with is in my left hand. I've just been doing the left-hand side with my left hand and right-hand side with my right, and it literally didn't occur to me that this was a dominant-hand-only sort of a task.

It's genuinely a foreign thought to me that there are people who strictly have only one good side. Like oh yes, here are my upper appendages: Handy Hand and Limb.

[thetimba]

[image id 5 row black and white comic with mostly stick figures Vampire Law by @cheacegirl Panel 1: a vampire asks a woman "May I enter your property?" She responds "yes you may." Panel 2: the vampire asks a man "May I enter your property?" He responds "No, sir." Panel 3: [covers the same space as previous two] The man and woman are neighbours, standing on either side of a fence, with the full moon above. The woman gestures towards the man's house and says "Go on then!" The man sweats nervously with a 'gulp'. Panels 4-7: small slices that show the vampire 'poof'-ing into clouds and emerging as a small bat. Panel 8: the bat flutters towards the fence Panel 9: on the far side of the fence, the bat runs into an invisible wall with a 'BONK' Panel 10: [a double length panel]. The vampire!bat hovers on the man's side of the fence. He says "The fence is on Ms Smith's property, you can't tear it down without her permission, Mr Green." Ms Smith exclaims "I told you so!" while Mr Green replies: "#@$µ€!" end id]

I made a bad comic and now you have to look at it

[thetimba]

spinning silver is funny as fuck because the staryk king and miryem arranged their own arranged marriage. like they're both complaining and furious but they came up with that idea themselves

[thetimba]

The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.

Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”

Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”

The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.

Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”

Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.

Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.

[thetimba]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[thetimba]

every time I post about how much I hate my period some dumbass terf gets mad about my "internalized misogyny" for "hating my natural woman body" so periodic reminder that I'm a cis woman and I hate my period, my uterus can eat shit, and I'd flush my ovaries down the toilet given half an opportunity fuck this shit 🖕🖕🖕

[thetimba]

Spin the wheel. That's who's trying to kill you.

Spin the wheel again. That’s who’s trying to protect you.

(If you have zero idea about the name you got, spin until you see someone you recognize.)

(Six months ago, I did a version of this poll with about five hundred options on the spinner wheel. For this one, I more than doubled it.)

[thetimba]

If you've ever thought to yourself "I basically know who this person is" about a stranger from reading their posts or watching their youtube videos, I guarantee you're wrong. Yes, even if you've been following them for a long time. Knock it off.

[thetimba]

RIP to several of my mutuals but I have never been happier that I do not know what Homestuck is.