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[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers,

The snowy pathways have done little to discourage the incoming participants for this season. An interesting group of characters, both new and returning, must be enjoying the interlude before the fun truly begins. Mamas are anxious to have their daughters married off, and others are eager to see who will be named the Diamond of the Season. Do not doubt that I will be watching very closely. Some have already begun to catch my eye. How dreadful.

Readers, we've come across one of the most sought-after Lovell gentlemen on the market. Major Lovell [@majorjasperlovell​] is a decorated soldier returning home from war, who already has young ladies fawning over the his bravery. His time spent in captivity only adds to his allure, but he returned home a year ago and did not attend the last season. This author wonders if his extended stay in the country is more than healing a wound. Terrible things can happen to the mind when facing confinement, and Lord Lovell’s eccentricities have intensified, according to my sources.

Consequence: Your membership at all social clubs have been suspended for a week IC. These respectable establishments will not have a loon as a member of their clubs. You are looked at with pity and fear when you walk down the street. 

The opera house is a wonderful place to immerse yourself in music and drama. Singer Rachel Clarke has dazzled audiences for years and is said to be retiring soon. Tragic. It does seem the young, unmarried woman will be expecting a child soon. Her cruel glances at Mr. Thomas Dowding [@misterdowding] beg the question of whether his powerful words enchanted this singer and left her with something to remember him by. Poets are known for their dalliances. Could it be a coincidence?

Consequence: The Patronesses of Almack’s declare you “unmarriageable.”

The gentlemen may have their struggles, but the ladies of this season are not exempt from my criticism. We have a returner this season in the form of Lady Grovesnor-Rivera [@viscountessxia]. She claims she left the last season early due to her new duties as Viscountess, though it appears she also left due to heartbreak. Mr. Alhborn, a desired suitor from last season, was courting the Viscountess, before openly mocking her appearance to fellow gentlemen at the horse races. Word reached her ears, leading to her quick exit. Being plain and making a scene do not make a pretty picture. 

Consequence: You receive a flood of angry letters from distressed mamas demanding you, a titled lady, set a better example for their unwed daughters. This is nothing compared to the gentlemen keeping a wide birth between you and themselves, not wanting to subject themselves to your dramatics. 

It is wonderful to see young women make their debut for the first time. Lady Magnolia Wetherby [@latetobloom​] returns to English soil with her father, the French Ambassador, after having escaped Napoleon’s advances on the continent. Surely, her time spent in France will make for an exotic choice for the Diamond. However, did France teach her how to be the perfect English wife? My sources tell me not. It is a shame to see a woman of high birth with no wifely skills.

Consequence: Your strolls down the street are met with laughter by the eligible ladies of the Ton. You are mocked and ridiculed for lacking any wifely abilities. Overwhelmed by the scorn, you “take ill” and shut yourself in your home for three days IC until the attention dies down.

The return of Countess Wright [@ladypwright], or former you could say has made a return to society after the loss of her husband. What a sad tale, but to act so unladylike is despicable. Sadness does not excuse drunkenness, or we’d have to forgive every drunk in the city! Even so, her drunken stupors have her behavior like a servant, cleaning rooms before passing out in her own. This author questions if her staff is not doing their job, or the Countess is attempting to make amends to a dead man.

Consequence: Your entire maid staff is refusing to work. They would quit if Whistledown’s letters did not taint their reputation to do their job. Your home is a mess for a week IC. Hopefully, you won’t have any callers during this time. 

Princess Marina [@sovereiigna​], a stunning addition to the ladies of this season, is making an appearance. Gentleman, do not think the princess will be so easy to win over. The Queen and her daughter have been heard to have had loud arguments over their differing expectations for this season. The Princess insists on a love match, or no match at all! A selfish thing to want when your match determines the fate of the kingdom. Readers, is the princess ready for this? Or will she leave with a broken heart and no prospects?

Consequence: Your declarations for a love match have gentleman coming in droves to sing your praises. Your guards are overwhelmed by the amount of men approaching, and you find yourself alone, surrounded by suitors. You leave the encounter fearful, staying close to your mother’s side. 

The time is coming for the ladies and lords of the season to find their match. Last season saw the union of Lord Harcourt and Lady Mulgrave. I'm curious to see what pairings or heartbreaks we'll see this season. Rest assured, I will be watching with my quill ready. I know you all missed me.

Yours Truly,

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers, 

April showers bring May flowers, and if they haven’t been plucked for marriage by now, they have been left to wither on the vine. Those still left without engagements likely know why, but in case they do not, this Author is here to help. And for those who are now united in marital bliss, whether in overly ostentatious ceremony or in secret haste across the border, a few tidbits to enliven your evening discussions and enlighten your future invitation lists.

Still others give as well as take. The Marquess of Islay has been withdrawing the same, large amount of money from the bank at the same time, on the third Tuesday of every month. Where is that money going? We all know the only regular “charitable” donations gentlemen make all have one thing in common. It seems that his creditors have all called in their accounts, and worse, have shown up on the Marquess’s doorstep demanding repayment before heleave London. 

Lord Islay and Lady Gramercy have been spotted together at more than one event this Season. Perhaps they have certain secrets in common? One would think Lady Gramercy has nothing to hide this Season, but according to mourners at her late husband’s funeral. she was heard lamenting her very own fatherless child. This Author wonders whether she is a recipient or a donor in this venture. A romantic endeavor is not all Lady Gramercy shares with the Lord Islay. The creditors must assume money is flowing for the lady as well, for they have also made camp outside the Gramercy and Mowbray residences, and tailing Lady Gramercy with their demands for money.

Nor is a lack of discretion a royal failing alone. Peter Singh-Collins is considered to be an affable catch this Season, but word of his sister’s indiscretions have reached London. Perhaps he will become an uncle before becoming a father. Mothers desperate to marry their daughters off should consider whether it is wise to join such a family. Though it has reached this author’s ears that Dr Singh-Collins was once engaged to Miss Margaret Mulgrave, now the countess of Harcourt. One must wonder what is it like to see the woman you were due to marry quickly tie the knot to another.

Speaking of marriage and how likely it is to change a person, the newly wed Lady Margaret is particularly fond of card games, and is known to get quite competitive in any game she participates in. Dear Readers should hope her new husband’s purse and dueling pistols are ready to answer for her actions. It seems Lady Mulgrave, or Harcourt now,  is without her lady’s maid. With her lady’s maid abruptly resigning, to work for Lady Margaret’s cousin! Whether she had a problem with your new husband or you is less important than what she might tell her new employer.

Esteemed Members of the Ton, this Author hopes she has been of service to you all this Season, whether as entertainment or warning. As you depart for your country estates, do keep all that you have learned in mind and think twice about who you invite. London and I will both miss you sorely… but not as much as you will miss me. 

Yours Truly, 

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers, 

The Readers have spoken, even though these particular Golden Swans have remained mute, and have filled in the blanks on what judgments the Swans have passed on our Mulberry party-goers. 

It seems a Scottish Marquis has found a reason to enjoy this season Lord Kenneth Ridel & Lady Lydia Gramercy getting to know each other very well in the garden, possibly Biblically. Think it might be because nothing stirs passion as much as no longer having a spouse to go home to? Taking a look now. A very good look.

The Marquess’s fellow Scott’s may not find this match a celebrated one. The possibility that an Englishwoman may marry into their Scottish nobility is beyond the pale. It has come to this author’s attention that the Marquess has suffered an influx of angry letters calling him ‘traitor’ and berating him; Lady Gramercy has apparently received written insults from Scottish ladies hoping to be the next Marchioness. At least Lady Gramercy isn’t returning to Scotland at Season’s end?

Yours Truly, 

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers, 

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and who can be more desperate than an unwed lady or gentleman at the close of a Season? While their mamas and chaperones may take to their couches in a dead faint, these individuals are known to find solace in less appropriate ways.

Nor are our gentry gentlemen free of such vices. Dr. Peter Singh-Collins, newly arrived in Town, is widely known as a gentle lad. This Author wonders what his Mama would think if she knew he had been frequenting a certain… female-run establishment. Certainly not for medical purposes, we hope. The good doctor  was accosted by a passel of offended Society mamas at the Colchester’s Mulberry Soiree, before the eyes of everyone in attendance. 

Finally, there are those who others are trying to escape from, resorting even to the most desperate of measures. After the birth of their son, Lord Kenneth Ridel’s wife Elena killed herself to escape her doomed future. The Marquess of Islay’s marriage was known to be unhappy, dear Readers, but what would drive a woman to such lengths? It has reached my ears the the Marquess was blackballed from all shops for a week, requiring his staff to disguise themselves to be from other houses to get basic supplies. 

Yours Truly, 

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers, 

Society may now be thinking of escaping the sun and heat, but rumors are inescapable. What follows our favorite members of the Ton as they flit from house to house, room to room, and partner to partner? 

Last but not least, even those merely dreaming of a St. George’s wedding might want to get their heads out of the clouds and set eyes back on their realities: How many weeks are left to read the banns… or for each couple to read the tea leaves and decide whether they do want to take each other in marriage? Dear Readers, you know the count so much better than I, and now you also know all the objections.

Rejoice! For it appears that some of our illustrious members of Society are altar-bound at last. Perhaps it is the spell cast by a waterside trip? Or perhaps it is this heatwave muddling people’s perceptions? This Author wonders whether these pairs, so promising when matched outside of London, can maintain their bonds once back in town

Rumor has it that Lord Harcourt will be facing the consequences of sowing those wild oats in his youth: his former lover’s husband has washed his hands of this insult and is sending Harcourt’s rakish past back across the Channel from France. With a letter from the child’s mother, the illegitimate child is due to land on his dearly missed papa’s door soon. Dear Readers, would any ring be enough to make up for this kind of humiliation? Affairs are one thing, marrying a Frenchwoman another, but to have to serve an illegitimate French child on the eve of a match to a duke’s daughter? They would rather be in less dramatic households.

This Author has heard Harcourt is a rake reformed, but his affairs clearly did not stop in France: he and Miss Ophelia Vane had a torrid affair during her last season. No wonder she suddenly departed London at the height of the season, abandoned by a man who then wed another. Dear Readers, perhaps the slap Miss Vane gave him earlier was entirely deserved.

Though it seems Mr. Hugh Howard is no longer required to marry Miss Mulgrave, to salvage what remains of her reputation. A night at the opera is supposed to be full of dramatics but the show started before the curtain was raised. None other than the Rake, Lord Richard Harcourt, publicly proposed to Miss Mulgrave. Will these two be a match made in a perfect scandal?

But perhaps it is Lord Harcourt who should be wary of proposing so soon. Although this is Lady Margaret’s first Season, she had an arranged engagement as a young lady that was later dissolved. This Author leaves it up to you, dear Readers, to speculate why… or whether that rendered a stay in a French convent necessary.  

But we should not leave all the blame on our gentlemen, dear Readers, when the ladies they court may be equally tarnished. Lady Lydia Gramercy was seen leaving a gentleman’s house last Sunday eve, and on the Lord’s day, no less. Not even the cloak of respectability can cover that kind of shamelessness. Dear Readers should consider the depth of her devotion to her late husband, given this behavior.

Miss Gramery was  referred to by name in the Archbishop of London’s sermon as an example of an unfaithful woman. Maybe the Archbishop thought too many were falling asleep, or maybe it was a genuine error? 

Yours Truly, 

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers, 

Summer heat and gossip have chased even the fashionable among us in search of cooler climes. But fret not, dear Readers, for even if you did not receive an invitation from the Bennettons for their Regatta, this Author promises you shall not miss a thing. 

Even the superstitious among us know that running water only protects you from curses, not scandal. The Lady Margaret Mulgravwas seen perched in a Mr. Hugh Howard’s lap, and with the gentleman wet and in shirtsleeves. Readers, we all know such games can only end in one of two ways: wedding bells or exile. And to think, both of them have just now returned to London. 

As a consequence  both the doorways of Miss Mulgrave and Mr Howard’s London homes have been attacked, red paint spilled on the door and the steps. Disturbingly, someone has even left angry scratches on the wood of the doors. Shall we hear wedding bells soon for the drenched duo’s or shall they live out their lives in scandal? 

Yours Truly, 

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers, 

The Queen may have rendered her judgment at the ball, but Society never stops. This Author offered a preview of your potential dance partners, but now that all is said and done, it is time to reveal what truly lurks behind the dainty silks and fans of certain Ladies of the Ton… and perhaps why they remain unmarried as of yet.

Piety is always admirable, unless of course it’s in the wrong faith. Before entering the Season, Lady Margaret Mulgrave spent several months in France within a Catholic Covenant. The Mulgraves are loyal English Protestants. Not that Lady Margaret is known for being particularly devout. This led to a rather awkward Sunday Service.

Miss Margaret Mulgrave may have missed her own presentation entirely but that did not mean the rest of society overlooked Miss Mulgrave. At the Sunday service at St. George’s church in Mayfair, it appears that the Mulgrave family pew has been given to another. Miss Mulgrave was relegated to sharing a bench with commoners. Perhaps Miss Mulgrave will use this time to consider her faith.

Yours Truly, 

Lady Whistledown

[thetonhq-narrator]

While Queen Charlotte’s Ball is underway, whispers of rumours begin to circulate involving certain guests of the ton. Patronesses of Almack’s cease their conversation near the punchbowl when they notice the subject of the rumours nearby. Gentleman at the card tables fall silent for a drag off a cigar when the unfortunate gents enter the game room. All in all, it seems there are too many wary gazes on the rumoured guests, and not enough interest in asking them to dance!

The Rumours, dear readers: The sound of a slap rings loudly even in the hustle and bustle of the social whirl, especially in the quiet of a gallery… or was it at a modiste’s?  Who struck whom, and over what? Dear Readers, we all hope it’s a lovers’ tiff. As the season welcomed many new faces, none of us had expected to see Lord Richard Harcourt, the widowed Earl of Harcourt in attendance. Rumours that the notorious earl had squandered his late wife’s dowry on gambling must mean he is in want of a wife. 

Though the earl thought he could escape my gaze by silently watching those debuting, it turns out that one lady had a score to settle. While many of us were watching the courting begin, Miss Ophelia Vane had struck the earl across the face. I do wonder what the man had done to cause such a reaction. Dear readers, stay tuned as we are always on the lookout for your secrets. 

[thetonhq-narrator]

Dear Readers,

Rejoice! For it appears most of country’s most fortunate and prestigious families have made their way to London. Some of our most illustrious members of Society are alter-bound while others are still reeling from my last few papers. This author does wonder what secrets you are all keeping while you all must fear what I shall do when I unearth them?

Yours truly, 

Lady Whistledown