theunwrittenpoetry - Tumblr blog

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Roads around mountains cause we can't drive through; that's poetry to me.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Roads around mountains cause we can't drive through; that's poetry to me.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

“तेरी सूरत से है आलम में बहारों का सबात... तेरी आँखों के सिवा दुनिया में रखा क्या है!”

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Why if people have an affinity of souls, must they sleep together?

Leo Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Okay so I'm going to write about a sensitive topic that I've never talked about to anyone but I'm feeling like i need to have purgation. So it's about friendship and I always thought i was lucky in that area, but was i? My long time best friend nafiza had been distant from me for a long time, and now there's no point even, and sana, well, she'll be married soon and I'll be detached because her husband doesn't even know me, meaning she hasn't told him anything about me meaning that she never felt it important to do so; mahendi broke my heart when she was getting married, her husband implied that pretty well that i might not be in the wedding but he will, and when she actually lied to him in front of me, for like a really trivial matter, and also let him talk to me like that, i am never going to forget that moment of my life and i will never forgive her for doing that to me. Then came pragati whom I tried to convince so many times to leave her boyfriend, but ofcourse she didn't then we gave her a choice either to choose him or us, ofcourse she chose him and he left her giving the most horrible scars any guy could possibly give a girl. Then in UG I had dhrutika priyanshi Nisha, that too almost in the end of first year, then we had lockdown: in the lockdown i can't believe that while arguing dhrutika said i would ofcourse won't care about her since now i had no meaning or selfish proposal left that she could help me with; whatever she meant it actually hurt, priyanshi would be always different, though she hasn't broken my heart like any of these, she would always be embarassed of me, of taking me to big rich places cuz she knows i may not fit in. Ashika irem in PG kind of left me and replaced me with a better option prapti, how and why that happened i don't know, but i pointed out many times but it feels like now i don't even want to try anymore. Anyone who wanna leave me are most welcome to do so, but the problem is I'll always have this FOMO of friendship, of a genuine good friendship that can only be filled by good friends.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Unhappiness is everywhere; just beyond the door; or stupidity, which is worse.

Virginia Woolf, A Writer's Diary

[theunwrittenpoetry]

I feel the distance between us, now. I'm aware of the fact that we always had a distance, but this one is different. This means us being unaware of eachother's lives. We're out existing and living our lives and probably thinking ill of eachother but this is not what i wanted. The warmth your closeness introduced me would always be my favourite thing. Laughs were shared, care was taken and emotions were felt. Hopes were ignited, demons were fighted and in the process, a mutual love was achieved. I did not put myself through all of it just to let it go one day. I never loved the fantasy of getting out of it, but eventually it became necessary. Now you've a part of me, something of myself that I gave to you, and i hope you cherish that. My immaturity and flaws are naked to you and i hope you don't intend on making a show of it and to keep it inside of you, and when you look back at me, from wherever you are at present, i hope it mskes you smile a little and not regret me.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

26 November, 2022.

Saturday.

The problem of people with lower self-esteem— people like me, is that we always think that we didn't deserve good things that happened to us. It always feels like either it was a miracle, or coincidence or just any other thing rather than us being deserving. It always feels that we're not good enough for anything happening to us. Opportunities do not feel like opportunities since we feel that we were never worth it. In order to cope up with this issue and to continue like any other normal human being, i have to keep reminding myself, on daily basis that i am good enough no matter what the negative part of my mind try to convince me. I got the opportunity because i deserved it, and no-one but me, and nothing but i and my hardwork is responsible for that. I wouldn't have gotten the opportunities on the first hand, if i didn't deserve it, if i wasn't worth it. Despite of this, there's always a tiny voice in the back of my head trying to weigh me down but all i can do is keep trying to ignore it and believe in myself. People look at us smiling and think we have no issues and problems in the world but we smile inspite of all the things happening in our lives, because we know this life is our battle, and we have to fight our way through it and no-one else is going to do that for us, and that I'm nobody's responsibility and not one person is supposed to help me but myself.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

23 November, 2022.

Wednesday

We always try to confine and define love. We attempt to fit it into a square or circle or any other shape we're aware of. As if it's a wax and will mould itself in any way we want it to. Love is a big word. It encompasses more significance than we may possibly put in words. People think romantic love is the only kind of love that exists which is just idiotic and dull. It shows how shallow their horizon is. We need to understand that there are multiple forms and aspects of love that exists and we're sometimes unaware of them. We love our parents, friends, siblings, neighbours way before we fall in romantic love. We experience healthy and unhealthy love in the journey of our life, and each type of love heals and sometimes traumatises us in a different way. People are always shouting they don't need anyone but deep down all of us know that we crave all the types of love that exists. We want friends, lovers, siblings, parents, neighbours and many other bonds that i may not be able to give name tag to. Humans are social animal, they say it rightly and probably it would be a waste to not be social. Even introverts are social, in a way we don't understand. They are social in a limited way, in their comfortable environment, when and where they find it. The point that I'm struggling to make is that (in John Keating's voice) we're members of the human race, and we should rather be celebrating and appreciating people's existence around us. We should be putting efforts to preserve the bonds we discover on our journey. People have created a new vogue where you don't care about the people around you and loose bonds and break relationships but these things, good things are precious and they're not easy to get again in life once you loose it. So hold onto eachother, whether we're lovers, siblings, partners, neighbours or just existing around eachother. The world is a big whole family and kindness is the only way we all can survive together.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

19th November, 2022. Saturday.

When things are changing in your life but not in an obvious way. You cannot explain it in precise words how and who and why is the change happening but it is there. You can see it and feel it and you know it_pretty well, in your mind and bones. You're leaving a life behind, or you're leaving a part of your life behind, and it feels good, sometimes? And it makes you wanna cry the other times. But then also, you're happy that there are precious and memorable things happening around you, but many a times you're not even sure about it, because social media or life experiences has changed you in such a way that you're unable to differentiate now, between people who have genuine feelings towards you or they're just passing by. I just wish we, atleast myself, would have been able to express our feelings in a better way and not be ashamed of it or being called out for it. Something's bothering you, or making you feel better and you can just say it out loud, to people who are making us feel in certain way. I sometimes even feel it that it's a curse to feel almost everything, so strongly. People make jokes around you and leave and they think it's done but it hurts you afterwards, even you didn't know that it would bother you but it does, and you can do nothing about it except regretting. But you're trying and you know you're being strong and putting all the efforts you possibly can, and you're still aware of the fact that everyone around you is fighting their own battles, so you just keep attempting on being kinder and nicer towards each one but they take you and your kindness for granted and it hurts you but you know you're doing the right thing, and somewhere in your mind, conciously or unconsciously wish that people would just value you, not to treat you like you're something of a diamond but to value your existing and appreciate your efforts but then again, while writing this, it's making me realise that why should my, of anyone's life depend on being validated by someone else? Probably because we exist around people, and they make a difference on us, and they_in a minor way, makes us what we are but it shouldn't be the primary thing existing in life. As now writing this has make me feel much much better and lighter and that would be all for today.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Ki jab ki mujhko bhi ye khabar hai,

tum nahi ho, kahin nahi ho;

Magar ye dil hai ki keh raha hai,

Tum yahi ho, yahi kahin ho.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Time went on as the clock does, half past seven instead of half past eight.

D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley's Lover

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Sea, hill, and wood,

This populous village! Sea, and hill, and wood,

With all the numberless goings-on of life,

Inaudible as dreams!

Frost in midnight, Coleridge

[theunwrittenpoetry]

What the hell is tragedy? I am.

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Winter is coming,

And so is my hope to be happy again.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

Falling in love with dead authors, these idiots be setting bar so high that I'm not even falling for their characters but the authors themselves.

[theunwrittenpoetry]

"..amid the music and laughter, her glance travelled to his corner, faltering, taunting, searching, exciting his heart."

James Joyce, Portrait of the Artist