thevampiremarie

[thevampiremarie]

[thevampiremarie]

i'm engaging in the ancient tradition of pretending there's an ancient tradition to engage in

[thevampiremarie]

My one friend really likes "yo mama" jokes, but she feels bad for saying them to me because my mama's dead, and lately she's been circumventing this by adding "in heaven" to them, a concept I was introduced to with zero warning via a text that said, "Yo mama's so stupid she's in heaven pre-heating the microwave."

[thevampiremarie]

The people who go "well who's going to look after you when you're old?" when you say you're not having kids are breathtakingly naive. Our next-door neighbour, somewhere in her mid-80s, has a son, grandkids, and a grear-granddaughter, and who's the one she calls when she needs help, and checks that she's not spending christmas alone? Me and my boyfriend.

Having kids is irrelevant if the answer to that question is still going to be "the mentally ill faggots next door."

[thevampiremarie]

  I re-blogged this (the first time) in 2014. Today, I tried half a dozen times to re-blog it, and it wouldn’t work. So, I saved the images and re-posted it. I hope it helps make life a little easier. :-)   The original post is by iraffiruse.

[thevampiremarie]

i actually need to know people's thoughts on this because at least in my experience the answer to this has drastically changed since i was on tumblr in the 2010s and its driving me fucking insane

*im talking about fandom takes specifically. not someone being horribly evil about a real-life issue or or blatantly factually incorrect. literally just harmless fandom disagreements or differing interpretations of a text/character/etc.

[thevampiremarie]

'respectively' is such a good sentence modifier. it allows you to define lists in parallel and zip them

[thevampiremarie]

“But they forget”

[thevampiremarie]

Found this really scary new horror game yall should check out. It's called indeed.com and it has a sequel called linkedin

[thevampiremarie]

I hope you know that it’s always this

[thevampiremarie]

what a beautiful man but☝️he could be beautifuller... guards! cover that man in blood

[thevampiremarie]

[thevampiremarie]

one of the funniest things abt this white collar job so far is that i get to see how fucking long people take for the tiniest things. "please paste this text into a separate document and send it to me whenever you're able to this week" i mean shit, man, i know what it's like to take weeks for a 2 minute task, but that's wild even for my standards. like yeah i can probably find the time to press the copy and paste buttons sometime this week

[thevampiremarie]

they need to let me make movies

[thevampiremarie]

fresh, clean no-terf version for reblogs!

Your mom and aunts aren’t on tumblr.  Please warn them about this as well. 

[thevampiremarie]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[thevampiremarie]

happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.