theveryfirstnight1313

[theveryfirstnight1313]

[theveryfirstnight1313]

When you speak all I see is greens and yellows and it’s the most magical thing

[theveryfirstnight1313]

[theveryfirstnight1313]

[theveryfirstnight1313]

[theveryfirstnight1313]

He turned my dark skies to daylight and I’m forever grateful

[theveryfirstnight1313]

[theveryfirstnight1313]

This song is 3 years old and has so much more meaning to me everyday.

This Love (Taylor's Version) is 3 years old & we’re currently reliving the summer of 2022 in our heads and spiraling, it’s fine

[theveryfirstnight1313]

“my mom told me.. “a person who values you, wouldn’t ever put themselves in a position to lose you.” and that really hit deep.”

— Unknown

[theveryfirstnight1313]

[theveryfirstnight1313]

“Never give up on something you really want. It may be difficult to wait, but it is worse to live with regret.”

— Unknown

[theveryfirstnight1313]

Sometimes I don’t understand why.

I am incredibly happy with everything right now but why can’t I figure this marriage shit out? What happens if it’s me every time and I duck it up with him too?

I can’t imagine loving someone the way I love him. But what if it’s me? What if when he’s here I’m too much again and he leaves? What if this is so much more than he signed up for and he doesn’t have a clue..

[theveryfirstnight1313]

Closer to a Star.

It has been a long time since I wrote something personal, and even longer since writing poetry. But someone dear to me inspired me to dabble in writing again.

[theveryfirstnight1313]

“Once you lose someone, it is never exactly the same person who comes back.”

— Sharon Olds

[theveryfirstnight1313]

“You fall in love with the little things about someone, like the sound of their laughter and the way their smile forms.”

— Unknown

[theveryfirstnight1313]

“Waiting is a sign of true love and patience. Anyone can say “I love you”, but not everyone can wait and prove it’s true.”

— lieinlove

[theveryfirstnight1313]

i miss you in the way the sea misses the moon—pulling tides for a light it can never hold.

i used to know your voice like my favorite song, each word a note i danced through the dark with.

now it’s static.

now it’s silence.

now i wonder if i ever knew it at all.

we spoke until sleep claimed our phones, laughing into midnight like we were safe there.

now i count the hours by how much i ache.

you’re everywhere and nowhere—a ghost in my chest, a shadow on my spine, a name i don’t say because it tastes too much like longing.

i would trade every word we ever spoke for one more hug—just one.

to remember what it felt like to be wanted in the warmth of your arms.

but you’re gone, and i’m here.