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[thevoyageofduckling]

Kat-su-don! At Katsu Sora 🍱

[thevoyageofduckling]

It's me

In everyday of my life Im always asking myself “what happened to me? This is not totally me.” Oh, life is very hard. I always wanted to escape from this world because of lot of standards and expectations because if you don’t try to go with it, you will left behind which I used to be.

[thevoyageofduckling]

Saturday morning

I feel that I can't do it anymore. I feel weak and hopeless.😷

[thevoyageofduckling]

Tapos naghahang pa tong laptop. Matatapos ko ba talaga to ng 4:30 lahat? HELP!

[thevoyageofduckling]

Ayoko na. Gusto ko na matapos to. Ayoko na talaga.

[thevoyageofduckling]

1. The friends you have at the beginning of the year can completely change by the end of it. People change, and if they aren’t improving your life in some way, it’s okay to drop them. 2. Take many pictures. Don’t let it take over your life, though. You don’t want to look back and see that you only captured your memories with your camera lens and not within your mind and heart. 3. Find your safe place. Whether it be in the arms of a certain person or on the balcony of Barnes and Nobles with a cup of soup, find it and don’t let it go. You can have more than one safe place. 4. Be nice to everyone. You honestly don’t know what skeletons people are hiding in their closets. Everyone has their skeleton. Every person on this earth has something in their life or past worth collapsing on the ground in uncontrollable sobs over. 5. Reading is so important. Highlight the things that you read that you find intriguing. Read a lot, it can only do good things for you. 6. Writing always helps. 7. The girl with anxiety has the deepest thoughts. The autistic boy has the kindest heart, and the schizophrenic has the ability to put a smile on your face in seconds. Do not judge character based on a mental illness. 8. Music has an indescribable ability to connect and heal. Let it do its thing. 9. Her prettiness doesn’t make your prettiness any less pretty. 10. Getting close and letting someone in is scary as hell. You know what else it is? Worth it. 11. The minute you feel your happiness being dictated by someone else, take a break from them. 12. Adventuring is a must. Sunsets always help the soul, showing that endings can be as beautiful as beginnings. 13. Spend more time with your parents doing things they enjoy. Later in life, you’ll be wishing you’d spent more time with them than on your Netflix account. 14. Home is not always a place, but whatever you love with your whole heart. I have many homes, and it’s okay if one home doesn’t feel like home anymore. 15. Making someone smile and feel genuinely happy has the ability to warm your heart from the inside out. No matter how much pain someone is going through, you made them forget about it for a few seconds. Isn’t that something? 16. Feel everything and let it hurt, but don’t go back to what broke you. 17. Don’t let fear hold you back from what you want. The view from the other side is spectacular. 18. Tell people how you feel. Even if you’re scared it’ll burn your life to the ground. You say it loud. 19. You find the most extraordinary things in the most ordinary places. 20. Swollen lips and sweaty “I want you’s” can make you feel again, but I don’t want to feel anything if it means having to sit there feeling like the wind is constantly being knocked out of me when he stops calling back. 21. Sometimes the way you think of someone isn’t the way they actually are. 22. Never underestimate the amount of joy the holiday season can bring you. Try and find ways to feel that way all year long. 23. Timing is never going to be perfect; if you care about something enough, you’ll make the time. It’s all about priorities. 24. If women used their words to build each other up instead of tearing each other down, our world would change drastically. 25. Recovery can take 2 weeks or 5 years. You aren’t any less of a person if it takes you longer to find a way to let go of what’s hurting your heart. 26. You only need yourself, but having people by your side trying to understand means a lot more than you might think. 27. You find your truest friends in your darkest hours. 28. You can feel the whole world in a month and nothing after 2 years. Time does not define love. 29. Always say yes to dessert. 30. Concerts make life worth living. So does yelling your favorite song along with your best friend in the car with your best friend with hands intertwined. These are things that show you that you don’t need to be on drugs to feel invincible. 31. So does kissing.

emmuuhhhhh, 31 Things I’ve Learned Coming Into 2016 (via wnq-writers)

[thevoyageofduckling]

Dear Mr. J

Good Morning Father, I’m so tired of everything and I don’t even know what exactly I’m doing. I cannot give up this because this is my dream. Please help me. I cannot contain Please!

[thevoyageofduckling]

There's a good one

Friday is our recipe testing for our Food Service next week. And what lovely is I’m in the kitchen. Yey! So happy because I don’t need to wear fitted white long sleeves and pencil cut skirt and stockings. Thank you to my friend(Kitchen Manager) because she got me as her crew. I really pray for these before our summer class starts and hoping to be at kitchen at the whole function. I am assigned to help and observe the 1D(other section) to what he will cook: Curry Fried Rice with Grilled Chicken. But he told me to cook the grilled chicken since the recipes are posted in the walls of the kitchen. I cooked and help other to slice some ingredients and wash some dishes. And time flies, my tummy wants the prepared foods in the kitchen and I’m craving for it. Self-control is a must in the kitchen and no pelfirage. So better to full yourself to food before working in kitchen. But a happy time arrives, because our managers allows us to taste rather to eat the food we prepare. I admit that I ate a lot. Hahaha. I enjoy the opportunity to taste the food that we will while it’s still free. I only didn’t taste the mini burger because I’m really full. At the end of the production time, I help some to slice some ingredients for other recipe and wash dishes. 

I decided also to visit my highschool friend at the Hospital at San Mateo. It took 4 hours to be there from school. I’m not familiar to the place and it’s friday. I got scared because it’s already a late night and few people are there and I don’t know them. I walk on the cemetary to see the hospital and after walking there, that hospital is not what I’m looking for. I asked someone how to get there and told me to ride a jeep again but unfortunately the jeepney barter betrays me to say that he knows that hospital but the truth is he didn’t know so. Mas lalo akong nainis sa lakas ng ingay ng tugtog ng jeep at yung lightning sa loob. I felt like I’m at the middel of a disco house. So, bumaba na. Naloloka na ako. Naiiyak na ako that time, I’m not familiar talaga sa place kaya I ask someone again how to get to that hospital. I waited too long for that jeep that will pass to the hospital. Akala ko talaga hindi naren ako aabaot sa visiting hours. Hanggang 9 lang daw e. Mag99 na that time. I told myself just went there at least a minute before 9 so that they will allow me to enter and thanks to heaven because I entered the hospital before 9. Then I went upstairs and look for the room of my friend. We talked many stuffs to each other. And decided to go home because it’s already late. I’m afraid that I cannot ride easily. I ask someone again on how to get to my place and she said so. What made my day? She invited me to ride to them and they went to the place where my travel will be easy. A good person. I don’t really doubt to come with them because I really feel that they are good. Bad times happens but there is good also.

[thevoyageofduckling]

A Day before my Birthday

I ate and I feel happy and strong. I feel to do more things I want even I disobey the rule: to not eat at night. But I really feel weak and hungry so I ate. I need to read, watch, and I need to pursue my life goals even one of it is to have a fit and 45 kilos of body weight. But I have my consequence this like tadpole look or more likely 3-month preggy woman. Hahaha. It’s okay somehow because I really feel good than on the past hours ago. Hope to use the energy that I take. I want to finish this book: Drums Girls Dangerous Pie, a book that lend by my close friend Bip. This book was my gift to her on our getting to know each other date when we’re on our last year of Highschool. That day was my first time to go to Booksale. Yes, she was the one who got me to be interested in books and to visit Booksale everytime I go to malls. There is someone calling me on my phone and I’m nervous. I know there will be a thing to happen this coming minute. Okay, I need to read this book. And there’s an unexpected name that pop up on my phone, I’m nervous again.

[thevoyageofduckling]

Breathe. You're going to be okay. You can and will heal.

[thevoyageofduckling]

Bakasyon sa kapit-bahay.

[thevoyageofduckling]

Habang yung dalawang katabi ko ay yakap na yakap sa isa't isa, ako naman ay yakap na yakap sa throw pillow.

[thevoyageofduckling]

It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing.

[thevoyageofduckling]

I wish I could have her face, so that you can see me...... Even in just a moment

[thevoyageofduckling]

I can't stop this urge to pursue you, even it seems blue.

[thevoyageofduckling]

My Dragon

What feeling I have for you this know. Am I really falling? This is so very wrong. Please stop acting like that, making me so special to you. Yah, I know that is just what I feel when you’re acting like. Before Im asking myself why are they admiring you. And I know now. Your an extraordinary man. Im afraid to really fall to you, I know that I will be hurt coz Im just an ordinary person to you. Please stop it.

[thevoyageofduckling]

January 17, 2016

I almost forgot that last year I said to myself that I will eat a little even at Christmas and New Year’s eve because I gain weight from semestral break because Im eating and sleeping to the max and I will eat a lot to my friend’s birthday~ this day. And I’m here, very fulled. And sitting away from people singing and enjoying. Why I’m this kind, isolating myself from people. They are laughing with full joy while Im writing this stuffs. I want to sing too, a lot. But I want to sing if some of my not really close friend will go home. I want to sing loudly. I feel that my hurt is loaded with I dont know things. I cannot breathe normally. Ugh.

So she’s home now without noticing and saying anything to me. Grabe siya. Hayaan mo na nga. Im really tired for always hoping incredible things to happen. Ganito nalang talaga.

PS: Happy Birthday Kuya Athan!