thewakeofdestruction - Tumblr blog

[thewakeofdestruction]

breathing has gotten

harder again lately.

i'm not sure if it's the

gaping hole in my chest

where their love used to be,

or the fact that i'm alone again

and the depression has found

its way back into my rib cage.

or maybe it's the smoking.

i hate that i've fallen back into

all of my bad habits so quickly,

but it's the only way

i know how to survive.

i don't know why life insists

on teaching me lessons

but i hope the next one

is learning how to rest.

-mars

[thewakeofdestruction]

“Funny you're the broken one, but I'm the only one who needed saving."

[thewakeofdestruction]

“Maybe there’s something you’re afraid to say, or someone you’re afraid to love, or somewhere you’re afraid to go. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna hurt because it matters.”

— John Green

[thewakeofdestruction]

February 2024

The world 1 - 0 Me

[thewakeofdestruction]

“… but i want to live and not just survive.”

[thewakeofdestruction]

Say "no", they'll live. Protect your peace.

[thewakeofdestruction]

"That was the day I learned that silence is really loud. Deafening. When you have silence, it's hard to keep stuff out. It's all there. And you can't get rid of it."

— TEOTFW

[thewakeofdestruction]

They say “Your life could change in a matter of split moment.” Mine did on that day. It was nothing unordinary about it. On a typical monday, the sky was light blue; there wasn’t any song going on the bass; i wore a sugary flower dress, and the smiles on the children’s face as i stole the glance. And then, came the opposite. In a split second, the sky darken its tone, all i could hear was screams and cries for help; my dress wasn’t as innocent anymore, and the smiles vanished. I stood still, without acknowledging the fact that the picture was going to imprint in my head forever. My 13 years home become my ruins. It is the disintegration of something; my heart, my high hopes for the future, and the sense of being a human. The what ifs kept invading my head space. If there had been a 2 seconds gap, could i have done things differently?

“You aren’t the same person as you were 2 days beforehand. How could you be?”

[thewakeofdestruction]

My love for you happened all at once. I had no time to think. We were caught up in the adventure of it and hadn’t a moment to spare.

[thewakeofdestruction]

i thought i was gonna be dead before i turn 18 and now im 24 and have no idea what im doing with my life

[thewakeofdestruction]

[thewakeofdestruction]

Take care of all the love you spend, they said. But what if it's already wasted to nothing? Beware of wolves who hide their teeth, they warned. But what if they've already devoured and left me hollow?

Love made me feel like the world is a terrifying place, leaving me wondering if i should become a Russian doll, a statue in the cold, as empty as a shell. Or should I make a final stand, go back to what we once shared?

Yet, love always triumphs, without a doubt, here i am, again, stepping out from my defenses, ready to face the storm. This is a call to arms, a whisper into the void: “Will you embrace me before it's too late?”

[thewakeofdestruction]

Sometimes, i wonder if i’m gonna spend the rest of my life waiting for it to start.

[thewakeofdestruction]

understand the role you play in your own suffering

[thewakeofdestruction]

i’m a sucker for deep talks, i wanna know what makes you, you

[thewakeofdestruction]

You cannot make someone understand a message they are not ready to receive.

Unknown

[thewakeofdestruction]

And most times, it's your fear of losing something that stops you from truly having it.

-Sabina Yesmin