thewanderingbreath - Tumblr blog

[thewanderingbreath]

do you remember me?

a you-shaped hole in the universe Celia Paul, Ocean Vuong, Owen Gent, Alejandra Pizarnik (trans. Yvette Siegert), Karman Verdi, Edna St Vincent Millay

[thewanderingbreath]

life is so hard right now. i hate the school i'm in. why can't the students be normal?

i've never felt depressed going to work, but now i am. god, i really hate where i'm teaching at right now. so fucking much. they can't do shit. going into every class feels like i'm just managing five year olds.

i'm not even teaching subjects. i just go in to make sure they don't kill each other. or that i don't kill them.

fuck this school. i can't wait to leave. fucking killer of dreams. fuck this place.

[thewanderingbreath]

I needed to be somewhere different. Maybe I needed to be someone different, too.

Heather Davis

[thewanderingbreath]

you look like someone I used to like. single eyelids, sharp face. tall and lanky. 

i catch glimpses of you, just because i know your instagram handle. how open it is, for the world to see the lovely life you have. the one i thought i would somehow find a way to squeeze in. 

i still think of you sometimes. and my heart swells when i do. because i still remember the moments we have under the moonlight, in the cool midnight breeze. when i held your hand and we strolled, uninhibited by reality that was waiting for us. how you would pillion me home. how i’d hold you close. 

i remember how we kissed. how your anger, dissent and indignation to the world would die away. your lips were soft. i remember your taste. 

sometimes i wonder how it would be if i did bump into you outside. how we would say hello. if you would return my text on telegram. did you delete our chat? i had to. because i was forced to leave it all behind. 

i wonder if you think of these things like i do, still. 

[thewanderingbreath]

Anne Carson, Plainwater: Essays and Poetry

[thewanderingbreath]

—Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

[That’s what the world is, after all: an endless battle of contrasting memories.]

[thewanderingbreath]

From Waiting for This Story to End Before I Begin Another by Jan Heller Levi (via hush-syrup)

[thewanderingbreath]

Jamie Anderson/Glennon Doyle Melton, Love Warrior

Grief and love are interconnected

[thewanderingbreath]

didn't want to post these online because i still want to keep this little, quiet bubble to myself.

you are my strongest pillar of support and i can never thank you enough for staying by my side.

i love you, so much. you're the sun when i've only known gloomy days.

[thewanderingbreath]

Rebecca Perry, Beauty/Beauty; from 'Kintsugi 金継ぎ'

[thewanderingbreath]

— Vladimir Nabokov, Letters to Véra

[thewanderingbreath]

i dreamt of you. in a small, cosy room. the window was open, looking on an evening glow of the cityscape. it felt like Rome, maybe a European country i’ve been meaning to travel to. 

you were sitting across me. i had the covers up to my waist, as though i was afraid of showing myself to you. you smiled cheekily at me and pulled me closer as i sat up. you closed the window and we were in darkness, the kind that i remembered from our days in your room at night. we kissed before the darkness enveloped us. i remember the glow of sunset in the background. 

i dreamt of kissing you again. it felt familiar, soft and warm. i remember all of this. my heart swells a little, though i should have long moved on. 

i wonder if you dream of me too. 

[thewanderingbreath]

will you drop by this page to see how i’ve been doing? 

[thewanderingbreath]

お…おはすみ…

Good....moright......

[thewanderingbreath]

the beginning of an end. memories are so fleeting. i remember the things i thought i’d have let go of. 

a nickname between you and i, your go-to cold drink (at least i think that’s what it was). our DM bought kopi o kosong during camp idk which human could possibly drink that concoction amid the chaos of 13 y/o monsters running around (or maybe that’s why we need it all the more). 

i don’t like goodbyes. but i’ve taught myself not to look for anything more. the fact that you could lose the very person you love in an instant. the anxiety destroys me. 

maybe we’ve known each other in our past lives. maybe i’ll stumble upon you at our cafe one day. maybe you’ll be free from the prison that is your mind. and we can start again, from where we left off. i’ll come home and see you and i will know i’ve remembered and held onto that little part (that was you) in my heart until i grow old. 

[thewanderingbreath]

[thewanderingbreath]

i’ll catch a flight, go to the moon

lay on the floor of your living room

and talk about the things that make you cry

 i’ll never walk into another bar, i’ll burn these tattoos off my arms

i’ll go to hell and back if i have to

i’d do anything for you