thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog - Tumblr blog

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

it’s been so long. I don’t write about you anymore, so let’s see how far we’ve come. I stopped keeping track, it never helped anyways. it’s been 21 months. compared to the 50 you took of my entire life. that counts for something, 4 more months and then double that and boom, it’s like it never happened, right? 3 months from now makes 2 years. I’ve had two years to forgive you, forgive myself. but it’s been so long I don’t even know what for. and all the bad feelings weigh me down and it’s not fair. you weighed me down for too long. it’s been too long. 21 months I’ve entirely lost who I wanted to be, looking for who I was without you. I don’t think it will ever feel like I’m not searching for me, again. but this is who I am now. I don’t know what that means for me, because I never stood a chance anyways. but I know it means I have a long life ahead of me that you won’t be in. for approximately 700 days I have taught myself to wake up in the morning, and live in a world without you; and I’ve finally got it down. Its been a 2 year long routine. I can only hope it gets easier as time goes on. random things and smells still remind me of you. I hold the fondest memories of us deep in my soul. I kept the important things, they remind me of a simpler time. I finally threw out all of the cards and letters, physical proof of my hurt is no longer tolerated where a more fragile torii may find it. symba is good. I wonder about you all the time, and all I’m really wondering is if you’re wondering about me. I sincerely hope you never do, but if you do I hope you smile. there’s no need for anything less. all I ever wanted was for both of us to be happy. I can’t think of two people who deserve it more. thank you for all the pieces of yourself you gave to me. until we meet again.

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

if there is a world where we existed

it surely isn’t here 

there is no trace of life left 

on this abandoned planet I once

called home but just because 

there is no evidence 

does not mean it ceases to exist 

I feel it in the air that I breathe but 

I don’t go looking

not anymore.

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

hey old friend

haven’t written in awhile

it’s 11am and I have 4 hours

until I have to pack my emotions up into

a travel bag 

but right now all of

my feeling are dissolving 

into thin air and it’s probably best that way

I maintain composure

at an alarming rate but some days

it’s like the landmine underneath my hopes

and dreams and memories just explodes and suddenly

my lungs are full of ashes

I don’t know if it’s because of where

I came from or because my period could

start tomorrow morning

I don’t know if it’s 

because of what has been

done to me or because of what 

I’ve done and I’m left questioning

my morality when I look back

and see when I was happy

my childhood hasn’t changed between

now and then but who I am has

is it because I made the wrong choices or 

is it because of the hand I was dealt?

the girl that I’m looking at has a 

light in her eyes like she 

believed in something

so what did she

lose

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

Double the mg ½ the $$ 🤤

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no caption needed.

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my children

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more things influence our mood than we think. the littlest things like not making our bed, being around certain people, seeing things that normalize bad coping mechanisms on social media, listening to a song that triggers negative emotions, checking someone who shouldn’t be in your life anymore, obsessing over thoughts that make you feel unworthy or anxious…it’s time to stay closer to things that make us feel warm and happy and removing (or distancing ourselves) from things that make us feel sad at night

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

A glimpse into a PNW wonderland 🙏 | codymayer22

Location: Trillium Lake, Oregon, United States

[thick-thighs-and-third-eyes-blog]

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are you high?

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at least ur a pretty one :)

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