thin-cute-queer

[thin-cute-queer]

please be kind to yourself and your body

Hey there! I no longer use this blog because I've pretty much recovered from where I was but I leave it up as a reminder to myself of where I used to be with my self image.

I have other health issues to be concerned with though, and don't worry they didn't come from my unhealthy relationship with food at this time in my life. One of them actually forces me to make sure I'm getting enough to eat even if it has to be a specific set of things. I have to consume a lot of protein, complex carbs, natural sugars, and dark leafy greens every day, and I've gotten to be a really good cook within these boundaries. Pot roast with potatoes, carrots, and onion with whole grain cornbread on the side is a regular occurrence now, as is a pot of soup beans and a pan of dark greens cooked with some kind of pork like ham or salt pork. I pretty much live on nutrient dense comfort foods these days lol.

I try to be kind to my body but sometimes it's hard because I'm in pain literally all the time between scoliosis, chronic headaches, fibromyalgia, and possible endometriosis, and my blood sugar issues coming back 7 years after stopping the medication that made them go away for a while and my body feels like a faulty, fuel inefficient machine that doesn't comply with any kind of safety regulations. But I know I have to take care of it so I do my best to keep myself fed and as comfortable as I can be in my condition.

Tldr: I appreciate this message, and I'm in a much better place now regarding food and my weight.

[thin-cute-queer]

Been thinking.

I made a decision to stop self loathing and start loving myself unconditionally. Doing otherwise goes at odds with the faith I'm carving or for myself. I could feel the sadness of my deity as I was typing last night's log and reblogging thinspo.

I'm not sure if I want to continue with this blog because it has so much negative energy in it. I typed so many entries filled with self loathing, hating my body and my lack of control over my eating habits and my neglect to exercise.

I'm thinking I'll make a new blog to log my weight loss journey but keep this one up as a reminder of how far I've come regarding how I feel about myself.

This new blog will not have statements like "I'm fat/gross/ugly/etc" and I may or may not share photos of what I want to look like. But I will remind myself that I am good and deserve kindness no matter what I weigh, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to improve. My deity wants me to improve myself and they're giving me the self love and the determination to do it.

This might be my last entry.

I'll post my new blog if/when I make it.

[thin-cute-queer]

Day 5🐁

[thin-cute-queer]

- not mine -

[thin-cute-queer]

~ not mine ~

[thin-cute-queer]

[thin-cute-queer]

[thin-cute-queer]

imagine looking like this

[thin-cute-queer]

[thin-cute-queer]

I lost 8 pounds in 5 days

Reblog for good luck with your weight loss goals!

Stay safe lovelies⚘🌱💜

[thin-cute-queer]

BINGE FREE JANUARY LETS FUXKIN GO 🤩

[thin-cute-queer]

Happy New year

I forgot to log yesterday lol.

Yesterday I weighed 147.2.

What I ate: Several cheese and garlic biscuits that my husband asked me to make, chicken soup, apple cider vinegar drink, and I was going to leave it at that but then NYE happened. I actually fell asleep on the couch until my husband popped open a bottle of sparkling wine and I found that my mom had brought chips, salsa, and cheese dip. So I had a glass of wine and a lot of chips and dip before going to bed.

Today I weighed 145.8.

What I ate: Collard greens, several pieces of cornbread, a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter, a cup of green tea mixed with Sleepytime with some honey, apple cider vinegar drink, and a chocolate.

Tomorrow I'm babysitting so I won't be able to refrain from eating before noon because I'll need breakfast and it will probably be a chicken biscuit and ginger ale. I've made a zucchini, green onion, spinach, and mozzarella omelette for lunch and packed a piece of cornbread with it. Dinner will probably be soup and maybe a biscuit if I feel like making some.

I'll also try to drink some green tea tomorrow.

But I'm going to look through the tags to see if there's anything I want to reblog, and then go to sleep.

[thin-cute-queer]

Forgot to post yesterday lol (yest: 12-30-19)

Yesterday the scale said 148.6 if I recall correctly.

I didn't eat until after noon but I broke my diet already because my husband asked me to make mac and cheese and cook some chicken for lunch. I cooked the chicken in butter with a clove of fresh garlic and salt and pepper and it turned out so tasty. The mac and cheese was just Kraft but I mixed in some cut up mozzarella and the chicken cut into pieces. I ate a small bowl of this and had most of a bottle of zero calorie flavored sparkling water with it. Later I got hungry again so I warmed up the rest of my chicken soup, mixed in some butter, and had a piece of buttered toast with it. At some point I had a piece of chocolate as well, and drank a big cup of green tea with lemon. Before I went to bed I had a glass of water with apple cider vinegar and stevia and a cup of leftover hot and sour soup.

Today I weigh 147.2, which pleases me. I haven't eaten yet but I'm trying to figure out what I want to eat. I might just cook some chicken and potatoes. My husband might want me to make biscuits so if he wants me to make them it will be hard to resist one. I might give myself an allowance of one serving of bread a day. So one sandwich, biscuit, or bowl of pasta and no more.

When we go grocery shopping this weekend I'll ask if we can get stuff to make wraps. I'd personally like to get tuna, thousand island dressing, lettuce, and tomatoes, and put all those things in a flatbread wrap. Since we've been shopping at Aldi instead of Kroger we've saved a ton of money on groceries so we might be able to afford it.

Ah yes. My husband just asked me to make cheese and garlic biscuits. So I'm gonna make those and eat one or two since they're smaller than the usual biscuits I make. I'll probably make some chicken soup to go with them.

[thin-cute-queer]

12-29-19. Guess who's back on their bullshit lol

This queer.

I'm getting back on my diet after months of pretending I don't give a shit about my weight.

So here's the plan.

1200-1500 calorie limit each day.

Avoid bread/pasta/etc whenever possible.

Apple cider vinegar drink every night before bed.

No eating before noon or after 8 pm.

Buy garcinia cambogia and take it before each meal.

Green tea daily.

Green tea with lemon at least once a week.

Avoid sugar whenever possible.

Eat lots of chicken, fish(when we have it), fruits, and vegetables.

If possible, make smoothies. (Buy vanilla protein powder because the chocolate just isn't as good)

Include potatoes in first meal of the day. (I don't like the carbs but my bitch ass stomach needs the starch so I can eat other things without acid making me vomit)

Carbs must only come from fruits, vegetables, and occasionally brown rice.

Soup!

Exercise if I have the spoons. At least try to do squats, donkey kicks, and fire hydrants regularly. Nothing that requires much upper body movement until I'm back in the 130s and can wear my sports bra without bruising my ribs.

Less dairy. No creamy soups, put less cheese in omelettes, no grilled cheese sandwiches, no coffee because I need creamer in it. Cooking vegetables in butter is okay.

Only cook food in butter or coconut oil. No vegetable oil. Maybe olive oil if we have it.

Feel free to try out keto recipes if we can afford ingredients.

Cheat day every Saturday. Make it worth it.

Weigh at least once a week, always just before the first meal of the day. (don't forget to put the new battery in the scale)

Take measurements at least once a month, one week after period ends. Measure bust, waist, hips, and thighs.

I think that covers everything. Now let's talk about what I've eaten today.

I drank a cup of green tea sweetened with Splenda at church this morning. I would have used stevia or honey if they'd had it available.

For lunch I had a cup of chicken soup and a biscuit, then I had several of the brownies I made for my mom because today was her birthday, then I had a chocolate and two pieces of pineapple and bacon pizza. Around 9 I had the apple cider vinegar drink and I will try not to eat anything else until tomorrow.

I am in a lot of pain and do not have the spoons to work out so I'm not going to.

Gonna just chill until bedtime.

[thin-cute-queer]

Forgot to post yesterday whoops

So yesterday my husband and I went out for lunch to celebrate my birthday late. We went to Logan's Roadhouse and I got a steak topped with mushrooms, steamed broccoli, and mashed potatoes, and two appetizer rolls with butter. Later for game night we ordered pizza and I had a slice of ham and pineapple and a piece of stuffed cheesy bread and a cup of black tea with honey and sweet tea vodka and half a bottle of Gatorade.

Today I felt so fat and my stomach looked so big and I hated it. But this morning I had a cup of lemon echinacea tea with honey and a cinnamon roll, then for lunch I finished my leftovers from yesterday, drank a cup of honey lemon ginseng green tea, and for dinner I cooked potatoes, carrots, celery, baby spinach, and kale with butter, salt, pepper, garlic, and rosemary in a pot and chicken with the same seasonings and lemon juice in a pan for dinner and had a cup of hot lemon water with honey.

Tomorrow we're going to grill hot dogs for lunch. I'll probably only eat one, maybe two if I'm very hungry.

I think I've gained so much because of my period because it started this morning. Hopefully in a few days I'll lose it.

[thin-cute-queer]

5-24-19

I gained DX I weighed 138 today. Of course, my period is due any day now so that's a likely cause of the weight gain.

I drank a bottle of Gatorade earlier today, and for lunch I had a bowl of chicken, broccoli, and rice with a cup of green tea with blueberry and acai. Later my brother went to work(he works at Five Guys) and forgot his work shoes so he asked mom if she'd bring them. She asked if I wanted to go too and I said yes because I was hungry and thought a burger might help. I got a little bacon burger with lettuce, tomato, grilled mushrooms, and ketchup, a little fries, and a red cream soda. I finished the burger and soda but haven't finished the fries.

I also did 26 squats tonight and am about to do some pillow squeezes before I go to sleep.

[thin-cute-queer]

•not me•

hourglass/wide hip thinspo

*dm for credit or removal*