things-i-said-while-high-in-bed

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Baby koala flavor, please.

Hey all, I know we all like to have fun here but I got two announcements that Corporate wanted me to relay here today:

First, to reiterate that we are in fact the Official and Legally Endorsed Frito Lay Tumblr blog, and that if you have issues with the content of our posts, please contact Frito Lay Support via our website: https://www.fritolay.com/

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There are the gnomes.

There are the ungnomes.

And there are the unknown ungnomes.

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Type 2 Fun where it's totally your fault is getting pranked by your future self.

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Taste and smell are pretty weird senses.

Vision interprets the intensity of light as brightness, and the frequency as color. Admittedly color is pretty weird, but there's still a direct mapping between color and frequency of light. Throw in stereoscopic vision and you get a fairly accurate picture of the world around you.

Hearing interprets the frequency of sound waves as tones and the amplitude as how loud it is. Pretty weird that this gives us music and many emotional reactions, but it's still a pretty direct interpretation.

Touch interprets pressure on your body as, well, pressure on your body.

Taste and smell are interpreting the shape and density of molecules. How do you turn that into a sense? If taste and smell worked like the other senses we'd eat some fruit and sense it has a high concentration of a molecule with two hydroxymethyl groups, two hydroxyl groups, and some carbon (fructose).

But no. Evolution is ruthless. Our senses are not built for accuracy, but for survival. Taste and smell are all about whether you should go near something and put it in your body. Stinky and gross = NO. Tasty and pleasant = YES. We taste sugar and think "that's sweet!!! Put more in my mouth!!!" because we need the calories. Shit stinks so we don't eat it and keep it as far away from us as possible.

Because the human brain, on its own, has the curiosity and survival instincts of a know-it-all child. We would eat our own poo if we weren't literally repulsed by it. Taste and smell (and pain, why don't we include pain as a sense?) praise and punish our choices.

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accidentally took the funniest screenshot 💀

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I can imagine a debate with some Bible Thumper where you ask them that question. And with an entirely straight and probably indignant face they answer "making gay people does not make god gay". And then you have won.

Does making gay people make god gay?

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Does making gay people make god gay?

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we’re working on something

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Trying to explain Final Fantasy X

I'm a dream of a Super Drownball player from the future-past. That's my adopted samurai dad who is also a future-past dream. My real dad became the literal embodiment of the evils of technology and I have to kill him to save the world.

The guy in the sandals is another Super Drownball player. He's married to the hot goth mom and her dolls will mess you up.

I'm in love with a celebrity high priestess, but it will end tragically when I go back to being a dream. Then she'll go on to be a pop star who fights evil with fashion choices.

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Rhea Ripley is who Gideon Nav wants to be.

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Buy Nothing would be the perfect socialist dating app.

Meet your neighbors who are thrifty, probably not heteronormative, really community oriented, giving, open to meeting new people. You have a topic to talk about. An activity to do together. You get to scope out their place. It's super low key and low pressure.

... I'm not allowed to do this.

Beth: "I'm curious at this point what success you'd have."

I don't think this can be done ethically on Buy Nothing. But I think this is a great concept to build a dating app / friend finder around.

Beth: "A regularly scheduled neighborhood Buy Nothing meeting up. A swap meet with no money. And then anything people don't want gets donated."

It's an app like Buy Nothing, but also for hangouts and hookups and services. Anything goes, just no money. It's a decommidified escort service. And you can use it as a dating app by doing activities with people like going shopping with them or taking them to a movie because they're socially anxious.

But how do you know people aren't getting paid under the table? If someone is caught doing it, that's breaking our rules and it's really important that this is all decommodified, so we'll eventually have to eject you from the community. Enjoy doing commerce literally everywhere else. But otherwise, I don't have a problem if the app is also enabling sex workers to work, what doesn't?

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Me: "...Kenny Shopsin author of 'I Like Killing Flies'. Correction. Kenny Shopsin, subject of the documentary 'I Like Killing Flies'."

Beth: "That's so much worse."

Me: "New York City is kinda gross, but interesting. Like Kenny."

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REUNITE GONDWANALAND!!!

kid at my work has been obsessed with pangea lately. he keeps telling me we have to "save it". like go back in time and push it back together

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SOAK 2026: The Slow Knife Penetrates The Shield

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SOAK 2026: Emotional Ipecac

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Wild Wild West is a wild movie. Forget the giant steampunk spider, everyone focuses on the giant steampunk spider.

There's a scene where Academy Award winner Will Smith and Academy Award winner Kenneth Branagh sitting in a creepy steampunk wheelchair swap black and cripple jokes for an extended period of time.

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Double Feature:

Blazing Saddles

Wild Wild West