thinking-about-her247

[thinking-about-her247]

Havn't written here in so long, but it's flight time again. On my way to you ❤

Had a 45 minute delay, but now finally in the air.

Saw these incredible clouds just now, otherwise the sky is almost completely empty as far as the eye can see. The deadly lazer reflecting on the wing of the plane.

I can charge my phone here and it's super fast. Very happy about that.

I'm feeling very content, happy to see you soon again. Bit upset about the delay, but that seems to happen more often then I would have thought few months ago. Hm; probably wouldnt have thought about it at all tbh. I'm still amazed about this. Us. Already 4 months into our relationsship, and 7 into knowing each other. Texting every day. And it all started with you loading in next to me. Here I am visiting you a 3rd time, also longer then before since you have moved and we aren't restricted to 2 weeks now. I'm excited. Also bit nervous about getting homesick again as I have described before, but having a good feeling about it since you live in a greener area now also, and maybe more pigeons. Never thought I would miss hearing/seeing familiar birds, but I did. Glad they will probably be around more then just the screaming seagulls before.

I'm getting emotional about the thought of seeing you soon. Tearing up. I'm so happy to feel this way. I'm feeling how much I've missed you and it makes me realise how much I repressed it also. Kept myself busy as best as I could.

Just got a second chocolate. Never got this before. Very happy. Now I lost my strain of thought, sad, but chocolate.

I love you so much, and I can't wait to see you soon again 🥰

I have like no idea when we will land.

An older lady just decided to sit behind me. She got a cool camera, probably taking beautiful pictures.

Gonna eat my schoki now cuz idk what to write.

-

Schoki was good.

Can't wait to catch a glimpse of the ocean knowing that means I have reached you soon. I think I may actually do just now. I'm like not sure at all.

Yeah okay, pilot just spoke that we are descending now. What beautiful timing.

SOON I AM HOLDING YOU AGAIN 🥰

Can't wait to experience the dutch heat also. Heard lots about it on social media. Actually really happy about that. I notice I havnt learned much dutch still, but I've been following dutch teachers and influencers and slowly get memes

Yeah, we making big turn. Gonna put my phone away. Landing soon ☺️ *explodes*

-

We landed at 19:36! Rolling to the gate now 💪

Seeing you soon at the escalator 🥰

I LOVE YOU ❤

21/06/25 - 19:39

[thinking-about-her247]

It's 01:50 as I start writting this. I'm in bed.. Well, on my couch. I fell asleep few hours ago, and my alarm didn't wake me so here I am.

I missed saying goodnight to you and it's making me upset. I don't even wanna say goodnight, but give u a foreheadkiss that may briefly wake you before you fall asleep again.

I miss giving physical affection to you in general. I can only daydream about giving you a kiss on the cheek when you're being cute, one on the lips just because, cuddleing up to you and place my hands on your head as I shower your pretty face in kisses. A long hug would also do wonders to me.

Less than 3 weeks to go I hope. I can't wait for you to give me green light to book a flight and the upcoming, real countdown to holding you again.

At the moment you're still super busy tho. Your moving is slowly coming to an end. I hope you'll be happy in your new apartment and can soon have a well deserved rest and that you're proud of yourself for what you did the past weeks.

-

I think this longer break allowed me to grow a bit. The first 2 weeks at home were pure anxiety and dreadful. My body and mind was all over the place as mentioned in entries before, no matter what I tried to do to calm myself and even your reassurence didn't do much. It was trauma acting up. I feel really bad for having it. You didn't cause any of it, but have to deal with an anxious girlfriend from time to time, and I'm also tired of it myself. I know due to therapy, that I can't really do anything except endure until my body and mind learns nothing bad is happening.

I'm better now thankfully. I started playing more to spend time with you, which helped me a lot. Even just having you afk on the realm while you're doing something else, makes me very happy. Even tho I can't give you a real kiss or hug, being able to come up to you and emote at you and seeing you react, fills me with love.

-

I should grab a snack, and then probably try to sleep again. I'm still super tired.

I hope you're sleeping well, and can feel my cuddles and kisses I give you in my mind. I love you 🫂💚

31/05/25 - 02:21

[thinking-about-her247]

Playing ow with Liebtod rn.

We played a bit together before also.

I don't even know what I wanted to write here tbh. Just wanted to write something.

We played MC today for quite a bit. I made us a realm few days ago. When I came on today I saw that you were pretty busy before, bringing in animals and even cats!

I was on my own at first tho. Made us our first Netherportal in the basement of our house and changed our walls.

When you joined in the late afternoon, you had changed some things about your character. I'm still getting used to it, but it fits you better. I can only adore you, no matter what form you take. Just knowing that my favourite person is behind the eyes of a character.

-

Just finished with ow for today. It's 02:08 and I remember starting to write at around 00:45. I'm in my living room right now, TV off, the new lamp I got glowing in blue. I hear rain outside. Thinking of actually going out on the balcony, get some cold, fresh air. Maybe just gonna open the window tho.

Thinking about my next visit to you. Well, not actually the visit itself, but just holding you again. I feel something inside me trying to reach out to you.

I'm remembering things all over the place. Touching your face during red lights, you nibbeling on my hand while being concentrated during playing, how you huged me when passing by, me stroking your back while waiting. Just as I thought of that, I remember our first visit at a restaurant and me being so scared of touching you out in public. Also remember the interactions with the little girl by the window as we sat outside.

It feels surreal that those are things that happened. I have only visited you twice so far, and the next visit is still kinda in the stars, but I feel like I'm only alive around you. At home, I'm just functioning, well, sometimes not even that. I know it sounds bad, but it was always like that, I just didn't have the alive part.

I feel very tired. Sure, it like 3am, but I mean in general. I spend a lot of time in bed, just imaging cuddleing you and it makes me incredibley calm and lazy.

Have moved to bed now, super tired. Gonna put on some youtube video and try to sleep now I think.

I love you so much baby, and I can't wait to kiss and hold you again 🫂💚

26/05/25 - 02:41

[thinking-about-her247]

Hey my beautiful 🥰

I'm writting here at 00:44, while we are on call. We both fell asleep, but I woke up due to dreaming of bugs being on me.

My eyes are super tired. I teared up a lot during the call, barely talking.

Seeing you, just the way you are, made me miss you in a heartbeat. Even as of now, simply seeing you and wanting, but not being able, to give you physical affection is making me tear up.

You ate Nachos in the middle of the call before while I just looked at you, and you mentioned how it probably isn't looking that great, meanwhile it made me tear up. I never thought I could adore someone so much. I missed watching you eat in person, just the way you moved and looked. I miss watching you just exist.

Tbh, I'm on my period rn, which is probably why I'm so strongly emotional right now and why I have such a hard time steering any of it. It just keeps coming in waves.

You're twisting and turning sometimes, probably not sleeping that well, but I atleast get to see your face right now. If you saw yourself, you'd probably laugh and dislike it, but to me it's such a pretty view that I miss with all my heart.

Crying again, woo 🎉

I mentioned my anxiety of things not being okay between us. It's been creeping around for a while now. I think it's because you're so busy, and even before I left for home, you made me aware that it's just gonna be that, and not you disliking me or losing interest. It's okay, I just needed a litte reasurence from you anyway, because no amount of telling myself it's just that, helped to ease my mind. Glad we texted about it very shortly and that we called/are calling. I miss you so much atm. Another wave of crying is hitting me as I write this.

I can't wait for all this stuff to be over, and to be back in your arms again. I'm keeping myself very busy too. I've been painting, moving furniture, putting up wall decor and sorting all kinds of stuff.

I told you how I have made space for you in the bathroom. The closet is still in the works, because I have so many clothes. Saving some for you too and I hope they'll fit you. If I remember correctly, some are actually your size. I'm gonna be like that, and give you one of the upper spaces of the closet cuz my ass can't reach it lmao

I'm in general trying to prepare for you. The little inventory space I have for you, is filled with your 2nd blankie, your shampoos and I plan to add bathtowels too. I probably won't find pretty ones, I already looked out for those, but I'll try my best.

I'm getting pretty tired again. Will be ending it here. Atm I only see your hair and your arm, and it's still such an emotional view to me. Everything in me lets me know how much you mean to me and how much I love you. Crying again. Hopefully the last time before I catch some sleep again.

I love you 🫂💚

16/05/25 - 01:37

[thinking-about-her247]

Just ordered stuff for my car, and went looking through my PS galery for pictures of our characters since one of the things is a clipper for photos. Saw some pretty funny or adorable ones, but tbh, I want a pic of irl you in the car, and at the same time, I feel weirded out by it. I never felt the urge before to show everybody who I liked, and now I would love to point at picture of you and be like "That's my girlfriend! She's so pretty!" to everybody that would get into my car. But also just looking at pictures of you. I either get a burst of energy and motivation, or I wanna cry cuz of the distance, being aware of only being able to see you every few weeks. I do try to focus on the fact, that when we see each other, it's atleast for longer then just a few hours or a short stay. That's what keeps me going.

I'm also constantly between "Take your time, don't rush and avoid a breakdown" and "I need to be able to drive by July to pick my gf up at the airport 💪" when thinking about driving. I know I should listen to the first one, because I sure am driving worse atm, overconfident and always too much speed. It's funny in comparison, that I nearly shat my pants everytime I got into a car a year ago, but also only having maybe 3-4 hours since I started again. I do enjoy driving automatic so much more. The fact it's my own car, and I can decorate it, makes me wanna spend more time on and in it too. I wanna learn from Deb and her friend how to wrap my car parts or atleast watch them. I wanna stick little figurines down, put the plushies we got in the back, put in the vent decor and the thingys for the gaps. I'm so excited.

Also, still havn't painted yet. My mind is all over the place, daydreaming. It's a huge issue. I'm actually writing this more or less, so I can post later "I painted the wall as I wrote before" and kinda force myself to do it.

Makes me think of you mentioning that you read here sometimes. I hope you still do that, even after all the dryness during my stay.

I love you

I could write that down a thousand times, and it wouldn't be enough to express the feeling I get. It's being overwhelmed by everything you are.

You're not just a single leaf on a tree, but you're a whole tree. The roots, the trunk, the bark, the branches, and every single leaf.

It feels like my mind and emotions are trying to draw a detailed picture of you, but doesn't know where to even start. Just being overwhelmed by the beauty and craftsmanship of nature, that putting it down accuratly feels impossible.

Okay, I should fr stop, put on some music and paint. I even made everything ready that I literally just have to dip the brush in, cuz I knew I would struggle to start.

I love you 💚

08/05/25 - 14:50

[thinking-about-her247]

My ass has not been writing here at all, huh?

~ 10:05 - I'm in the plane back to Zurich now, waiting in the seat, while you are driving home. Still waiting on my seat neighbours atm and exactly as I type this, they came. Got a lady next to me. She smells of parfume and I'm very happy she does cuz my ass is stinky.

Coming to what we did the past 2 weeks:

Visiting your new apartment. Fixing and sanding walls, and even some painting at the end. Moved and cleaned a few things.

Yesterday, 04. May 25, we had breakfast at your dads place. We got them sunflowers as a gift. First time I gifted someone something while visiting, like I watched all the adults do when I was a kid. Now I'm the adult. Felt weird, but also a step into the right direction? You said I may prefer that over the way your mother is, but I can't really tell. I feel like it's just like my own parents. My mom would probably ask to hug you, while my dad will just shake your hand.

10:38 - I'm in the air atm, already ⅓ of the flight is over. It's cloudy as far as the eye can see with a few spots open. Atm I feel like I'll get a sunburn. Would be funny. Landing in the rain, cuddly ~11°C and my ass has a sunburn. Waiting on the water atm again, I'm thirsty.

Spooking around my mind are the moments I spilled the Mecces drinks in your car. How did I manage to do that both times we got something? I'm not feeling bad anymore about it, but embarassed in a funny way. You should never let me handle drinks in your car again istg.

Looking out the window, I'm feeling the happy but strange feeling again, of wonder, on how I got here, but also how lucky I am to be here. My second stay just ended, and soon we are 3 months into our relationship already, and I spent nearly a full month around you, counting the stays together.

The goodbye hurt again, but it's different then last time. Last time, I felt a lot of excitment going home. I was so overwhelmed with everything during my first stay and even tho I was sad leaving you, I was very happy to go home to something I knew.

I did mentioned missing switzerland ofc, but now looking at it, I think what I missed was nature and just the calmness of my place. I really gotta invest all my time into driving as soon as possible, as I always say.

10:57 - Descending

Nothing can capture the view I had from the mountains at home while I practiced driving on the small roads, even tho I send you pics every time. Those views I miss.

I did tell you I missed dipping my feet and legs into the waters at home, but all that was available was the beach. Lots of sand and sun, and ofc water, but it's not the same and you knew that. You took the me to the forest tho, and I'm very thankfull you did. It was very pretty, bit colder in the shade of the trees, and it gave me some peace. Sadly the water was disgusting tho lmao

11:03 - In the clouds now. Can't wait for the shade. The sun was super hot, and the heat is slowly fading away as we descend.

I'm thinking about you coming to Switzerland, and the idea of maybe flying together after my stay ends. You did find a cheaper alternative with a flexbus, but maybe just one time? Would be nice.

My mind is all over the place, cuz just now I'm also thinking of how my dutch hearing seemed slightly better this time.

11:17 - Playing with the wirstbands you made me during my first stay. I still can't get over the fact, that one is exactly the colours of the dog collar of the golden retriever Xira, that I used to play with as a kid. I'm surprised how much that combination seems to be stuck in my mind.

11:20 - I can spot ground again. It feels good to be nearly home. Gonna text Nat some time today if she got time to hang out, and ofc inform Deb that I'm home, and we can soon look on how to decor Suki, if we do it at all.

11:23 - Touchdown! Good to see hills again. Wish you could see them too. In person.

Aww, they thanked everybody in german, and then at the end went swissgerman with "Uf Wiederluege" (Auf Wiedersehen) and idk, just seemed very cute to me.

Gonna turn on my internet now, text you and post this. I love you so much, and I can't wait to see and hold you again already 🫂💚

05/05/25 - 11:29

[thinking-about-her247]

I lost the post I started while I got into the plane in Zurich, so ig this is the first one since I'm visiting you again. I arrived yesterday, Monday, 21. April 25 in the evening, and we met around 18:40 at the airport.

We are in your new apartment with your mother and stepdad. He messured the rooms.

I'm very excited for you and I'm sure you are too, but today is a long day. You are very tired.

Can't wait to cuddle my tired girl again.

I don't fully understand what you guys are talking about, but I think I heard "Going home" somewhere in there. So just gonna post this now and see what happens the next few mins.

22/04/25 - 20:31

(You just came for cuddles - 20:37)

[thinking-about-her247]

And again, it's been a while.

I think I havn't really added much about what we are actually doing these days.

Soon, on the 21st of April, I'm coming over again and will be landing in the evening. I'm both extremely hyped and at the same time, dread it a lot both because of time and people. I'm praying the trainride will be calm since it's in the middle of the day, but I do dread how busy the airport will be and also getting out the train with multiple people. I do plan on arriving early so I can settle a bit. Probably gonna leave home early afternoon.

You also get the keys to your new apartment the day after my arrival, and it obviously makes you nervous. You mentioned wanting to ignore it because you'd rather spend time with me different than moving, but also know it's good to get it done. I agree that we should atleast check some things out or move stuff. I still can't get over the dutch custom of you guys ripping up the floors so the next person has to put one in. That's gonna be a thing lmao

I'm actually really happy that we can spend our days looking into your apartment and the whole moving. No need to look up random stuff to do during my stay. Sure, we can still do other stuff or take a break, but I don't mind either way. I'm still holding on to that fantasy of sleeping between boxes I told you about so long ago.

-

Well, that's in the near future. Atm we are both pretty busy.

You got the regular walk with the dog, and also picked up training again. You're watching the cat of your brother this weekend too. The moving is probably also all over your mind.

Meanwhile I got a car and should learn to drive as much as possible, but also shouldn't forget about renovating my rooms. It's still a mess. On sunday, 20th April 25, I'm also meeting up with my mother and brother, my dad probably also comes along. Thinking of driving us there, but also super nervous. Would be the first time in a city.

-

The evenings we have together are nice tho. Texting, playing, talking and calling.

It was mostly me watching, cuz I was and still kinda am sick, but I hope the next few evenings I can spend playing with you and I can't wait to finally spend monday evening in your arms again and being able to burry my head into your neck.

-

Not sure when I'm gonna write here again. Probably on my travel to you. I liked to keep myself busy writing here while in the air. Maybe I'll start as I get into the train, and hit post the moment I land. Yeah, I don't know.

-

I love you so much my dear 🫂💚

18/04/25 - 11:51

[thinking-about-her247]

It's been so long since I wrote something here. I think it's just settleing a lot, which is great, but also something that scares me a bit. My brain isn't on that "high" anymore, and instead it's scared. I am scared. I'm scared of hurting you and I'm scared of you hurting me.

I have very strong feelings for you. More then I can express, and stronger, then I had for anyone before. Even as I write this, I am crying because they feel so overwhelming, and the strong fear that comes along it.

The fear gives me a lot of intrusive thoughts on what do to, as to avoid being able to be hurt you.

As bad as it sounds, I do get annoyed a lot by you at the moment. Not because you are annoying, but because my entire system wants me to dislike you. Someone I dislike can't hurt me. I often do go mute, because deep inside I know that I don't want that, but I just watch my feelings get frustrated over small things you do and try to hold it out, and tell myself how much I love you and that I do not want to feel or act the way that it whispers to me.

My fear also keeps bothering me about myself. How I am not good enough for you. That I have to provide more. Everytime I notice I forget to ask how you are or slept, everything in me also gets into how bad of a partner I am. Remember how I told you, how I felt bad at the end of my stay, that I didn't do the dishes anymore? That still sticks with me and randomly comes up.

I'm in general all over the place at the moment. I forget my drinks in the kitchen or by the staircase, maybe I even go to the kitchen and forget to make the whole drink itself. Yesterday morning, I wanted to make Schoki. I took the milk out of the fridge, opened the shelf with the powder and took the coffee instead and refilled the water in the coffemachine, then my dad talked to me for a sec and then I wanted to go up the staircase as I realised I missed the Schoki. Went back, put the coffee back and as I took the milk in my hand, I also opened the fridge to put it back, instantly taking it again for the Schoki. I did see disorientation as one of the symptoms of smokestop, so it's probably that.

Today, 09. April 25, also marks the day you quit smoking. So far you seem to be doing well, so I hope that it stays that way. I myself just hit the 11 day mark I saw. I don't really miss the smoking anymore, I just miss being healthy. I tell you everyday how shit I feel and am also getting annoyed by it. It's slowly getting better tho, so I pray it's gone soon. I wanna be healthy during my stay with you.

I'm proud of you for trying to stop!

Also am concerned on how you're gonna feel soon tho and me being unable to help. No cuddles and kisses, and no making you tea or wrapping you in a blanket.

I hope it's not as bad as whatever is happening to me, because my last stop sure didnt feel that bad either, so I am kinda positive you'll be okay within a week except maybe also a bad cough for a while.

I miss you a lot at the moment, which also makes me very sad. I wanna hug and lean myself against you so bad right now. No amount of texting or calls will be able to change such moments, I just have to endure it.

Time is moving so slow, and so fast at the same time for me. The day barely begins before it's over again, and at the same time, looking at the days counting down to you or the uncertainty of your move, feel so slow sometimes.

-

You just texted me and asked how I'm doing. God, I don't know. I'm so confused and overwhelmed. I'll tell you that, sure, but I feel so bad for it, because I don't want lower your mood. You're dealing with a lot yourself already.

09/04/25 - 20:49

[thinking-about-her247]

Slowly getting a grip on dutch by now, atleast on pronounciation when reading. Spent a lot of time today figuring it out. You also helped me.

For now, I still just gotta learn the most simple words and how to use them. I have slowly been forming simple sentences with words I know, but no idea if they are even right, so trying to not do it too often.

I can't wait for the moment I can think in dutch, needing no connection to the other languages I know. I can think in swissgerman, german and english without any issues or thinking about what belongs where or what a word is. Only moment it gets stuck is when I talk.

Sometimes still think about socialworker C telling me I seem to have no accent in english. Germans also told me I got no swiss accent in german. Praying to one day speak dutch without accent/mistakes either.

01/04/25 - 01:37

[thinking-about-her247]

Just said "Goedenacht" to my dad instead of "Guet Nacht" and idk how to feel about it

31/03/25 - 21:21

[thinking-about-her247]

Slept my second night at home. We already texted a bit.

I'm still confused about my feelings, but it's getting better already. Slowly shifting my focus back to the work I still have left at home. I noticed I can't do much except move stuff instead of sorting it. I have lots of cables and electronics, which I'd just yeet out, but my dad always want to have a look at them. He knows more what we got at home. Maybe I can finally throw away the boxes of my Ps and headset. I keep that stuff for way too long, cuz what if it breaks and I can get replacements? But no, the warranty always runs out anyway.

-

Started the text above in the morning, maybe 9 am? It's 13:06 rn, I'm suffering in ow. We suffered together before for a few matches. Had a blast, really.

Suffering as tank now. Ofc, also having that one ass teammate. Hits really hard when it's a support.

13:47 - Enemy tank greeted me, and we also won. I think that was already enough for me. The match before, I got shat on by my mates. Well, ig it was my turn to be the shitty teammate for once.

On break now. I can already feel the dread of running out of cigs. Surprised about how nervous it makes me, since I do want to quit.

Also thinking about our next meeting. We did look up planetickets for you. You also checked if with the car would be cheaper.

We will figure it out, I'm sure. It's not been that long since I left, but fixing a date would help us both a lot I think. Instead of the dread we had about me leaving and being gone, something else to look forward to.

Still havn't put away the boxes I mentioned. Will do that after my smoke. Got 3 left. Both excited about the money I'll safe, but also so much dread of the incoming symptoms and my bad mood. Atleast it's shitty weather, that helps. On my balcony rn, white cloudy sky with very light rain. I hear cars drive by and a motorcycle in the distance, some birds chirping.

Gonna put the smoke and phone down now, do the boxes. I feel extremely lazy and at the same time I'm motivated by the thought of you coming over. Very slight panic, probably just the way you had before I came over. I'll manage.

29/03/25 - 13:58

[thinking-about-her247]

Hey Schatz (treasure)

I'm texting you in swissgerman, because I think english isn't enough tell you about my feelings.

At the moment you're laying on your bed, just 1 or 2 meters away from me, with your fairy lights still on.

You're so herzig ("hearty"=Sweet/cute), that I can barely put it into words.

I'm so damn tired and just wanna sleep next to you, but I'm so strongly in my feelings, that I'll probably just wake you. I do know you wouldn't mind it and maybe I will wake you, just to tell you how much I love you. You're so damn sweet and warm. There are so many things I could count up on how you express your love and how loved I feel by you.

-

28/03/25 - 09:48

Hey Schatz,

Ich schrieb dir uf Schwizerdütsch, wil ich denke das englisch nöd usreicht zum dir mini Gfühl für dich mitzteile.

Du liehsch anktuell ufem Bett nur 1 oder 2 meter weg vo mir mit dinere Liechterchetti no igschalte.

Du bisch so unglaublich herzig, das ichs fast nöd i Wort cha fasse.

Ich bin so verdammt müed und wot eigentlich nur nebet dir schlafe, aber bin so starch i mine Gfühl, dass ich dich wahrschinlich nur wecke würd. Ich weiss au, dass es dir eigentlich nüt usmacht, und vllt weck ich dich au tatsächlich, eifach nur zum dir sege wie lieb ich dich han. Du bisch so verdammt süess und so warm. Es würd so viel Sache geh die ich chönnt ufzehle wie du dini Liebi usdrücksch und wie ich mich gliebt fühle vo dir.

19/03/25 - 03:17

[thinking-about-her247]

On the plane to Zurich rn. About an hour delayed, but it's fine. We texted meanwhile and I'm very glad we both seem very content with our situation.

I already told you how I'm both happy and confused for feeling so content. Sure, I shed a few tears on the car ride and some days before, but it's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I feel safe with and about you.

I do regret not kissing you more and hugging you tighter before we said goodbye, but my mind was so busy about not knowing the airport.

-

I'm very thankful you welcomed me into your home, and I enjoyed our 2 weeks so much. You cared so much for me while I was just me. My mind has never been so calm around someone. Everytime you asked me what I wanted to do, what I'd like to drink or eat, I had a really hard time answering, because my mind wasn't busy at all with anything. It's peaceful having such an empty mind, but when I do write like I do now, looking back at it, it's almost alien compared to younger me, which sometimes freaks me out. I hope you didn't mind me delaying my answers or not answering at all because I first had to start thinking at all first. I could see it as annoying maybe, but tbh, if you felt that way around me, I wouldn't mind it. I do hope you can feel that way around me when you visit to be honest. Just letting me take care of you while you can do whatever makes you happy around my rooms.

I do wanna hold you soon again, and I did mention I more or less have space for you, but I do want to be more prepared for you, simply cuz we don't have much to do at and around my home and stores are a bit further away.

I know you mentioned renting a car, but I really hope you can find some peace with public transport. It's very peaceful to me most of the time, and no hastle with tickets either. You already saw before that I added you to my passenger list. Also, I just had a short panic cuz I'm not sure I gave you your public transport card back. Will check later.

-

It just got announced that we are still in german airspace but are slowly sinking. I can't wait to set foot in Switzerland again.

Seeing and holding you was the exciting part about the visit to the Netherlands tbh. I sure will slowly learn the language, learn to navigate, but I have to say that I don't care much for it simply out of interest, but because I want to speak to you in the language you feel at home with. I did realise how often I wanted to express my feelings to you in swissgerman, and it getting stuck in my throat when I tried to translate it into english and it not feeling genuine, even tho it was.

Landing soon I think, we are turning atm and going into the clouds. Gonna be cold soon.

-

The most beautiful thing I saw, visiting the Netherlands, was you and I can't wait to visit again. I love you ❤

27/03/25 - 17:19

(Just landed at 17:24)

[thinking-about-her247]

We are in front of the TV, playing Overwatch rn. You're trying out the new hero, Freja, is her name I think.

You're eating your childhood snack. I sadly don't know the name of it on top of my head.

Today was pretty lazy.

You went on a walk with C alone today while I just did the dishes, cleaned our little "table" and finished the purple, green and black braided bracelet.

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Got interrupted by suffering.

You're in bed and I'm on the comfy chair smoking. It's nearly 2am and we both are very tired. Gonna go brush my teeth soon. You're probably already gonna be asleep when I join you.

I also met some family of yours today. Was scared at first, but it went well. Lots of dutch and me zoning out inbetween.

I cried a bit on our way home. Just thinking about the distance that will soon return and just being back in my room. Not able to just come over for a short visit, but having to book a flight again and all the traveling involved. Also very scared of the whole flight home. I'll be so sad, maybe even crying the whole trip I imagine, until I'm back with Otis and fall asleep being exhausted. Not looking forward to it at all.

22/03/25 - 01:56

[thinking-about-her247]

Hey Schatz,

Ich schrieb dir uf Schwizerdütsch, wil ich denke das englisch nöd usreicht zum dir mini Gfühl für dich mitzteile.

Du liehsch anktuell ufem Bett nur 1 oder 2 meter weg vo mir mit dinere Liechterchetti no igschalte.

Du bisch so unglaublich herzig, das ichs fast nöd i Wort cha fasse.

Ich bin so verdammt müed und wot eigentlich nur nebet dir schlafe, aber bin so starch i mine Gfühl, dass ich dich wahrschinlich nur wecke würd. Ich weiss au, dass es dir eigentlich nüt usmacht, und vllt weck ich dich au tatsächlich, eifach nur zum dir sege wie lieb ich dich han. Du bisch so verdammt süess und so warm. Es würd so viel Sache geh die ich chönnt ufzehle wie du dini Liebi usdrücksch und wie ich mich gliebt fühle vo dir.

19/03/25 - 03:17

[thinking-about-her247]

It's 01:33 as I start typing this.

You're asleep almost next to me, softly breathing, while I'm in the comfy chair.

We went swimming today morning at "Palm Beach Spa". About 15-20mins from here? We were running a bit late due to being stuck behind a truck, also one of the bridges going up as we wanted to cross a canal. Last issue was finding a parking spot. You drove along the street next to the Spa, with every spot being already taken. Then once around the building, without success. Thankfully you went "fuck it" and just drove along the short 1 way path to it, even tho in the wrong direction. We were immediatly there and had a parking spot. Great success. The spa was nice, and it was a really cute idea, but it was underwhelming. Atleast we had privacy and we enjoyed our time together with cuddles and kisses. You even took some snaps as memories which is really cute. Before we left, we also took a pic with a turtle figure. Even tho the first one was on the wrong timer and didnt go as planned, I think it's my fav out of the two we took because of that reason. Rather than a planned picture, it was a snapshot of casual us. Both smiling because we were talking, and it was not for the camera.

Shortly after we came home, we moved your mattress to the floor and all your stuff up on the bedframe. We put up a blanket for cover between our new sleeping spot and the rat cage. Midas found that really nice of us and climbed the blanket into your stuff later. You shooed him back the first time and we took down the blanket. Midas did have other plans, and moved one of their houses closer to the bedframe.

You had such a hard time getting him off again.

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I also met J in person with her baby. I already told you how she looked nothing like I expected and at the same time she fits herself perfectly. It's still weird to think how not so long ago I heard her and her baby over my headset in my room, and it being so distant.

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We also got the groceries you ordered the day before, which was nice. Got macaroni, beef, dried onions and applessauce. Didn't cook it yet, but I can't wait for you to eat it. Nothing special, but my fav dish. Ghackets mit Hörnli.

We also picked up our package at a phone store.

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Evening was very chill. I met B., one of your two socialworkers. She was extremely nice and offered us something to drink. We both got a glass of water. The others in the room were also really nice, shortly switching to english for me before they switched back to dutch.

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Getting tired now, have to stop typing soon or I'll fall asleep in the chair.

You're very quietly asleep in bed rn. You look so cute just laying there, being done with the world for just a few hours before having to face the world again.

19/03/25 - 02:07