iI DO NOT PROMOTE ANYTHING ITS JUST MY PERSONAL STRUGGLES WITH LOOSING WEIGHT. This is my personal weight loss journey starting at a whopping 93.6 kg BMI 36. Start date 1st Jan 2017. CW 83.9 kg (3 March) BMI 32.4.
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5 December 2017
Haha yes finally out of my cast and now in a moon boot only 50% weight bearing but that’s okay better than a cast and no weight bearing. Can get around faster lol. Been in and out of a moon boot all year at least I can have a shower again. No more as my mother would say “bird bath” 😀. Real shower tonight yahoo.
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December 4th 2017
Only 27hrs till the cast comes off. Counting down haha
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December 3rd 2017
Two more days till this cast comes of so can not wait to have a real shower and than physio and get back into walking 😀. Two more days.
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30 November
Okay exactly one week till the cast comes off and start physio so hopefully by the time new year comes I’ll be back on both feet ready to loose all the weight I lost at the beginning of the year and than gained back after my injury. Next year I will loose all this weight and I want to study next year and get my life back together get a job and move out. But study and weight loss is my first step next year.
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26 November 2017
Sunday today, 10 days till this cast comes off (if all goes well at my app with the ortho). Pain is dull at the moment but last night it was intense. Life is every way but the right way at ‘tis point in time.
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23 November 2017
Okay so my last post mentioned surgery I’ve had the surgery yesterday. Get discharged today yahoo get outta the hospital. 😀. My sister had a baby boy yesterday just as I came outta surgery so that’s the first place I’m going when I get discharged to the maternity ward to meet my new nephew. So much has happened in the last week.
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11 November 2017
Okay it’s been so long my apologies to who ever is out there reading my post’s. It’s been a long year I just broke up with my partner so I’m back to being single yay for me. (Sarcasm). I can now get back on track with weigh loss we’ll almost. I’m due to have surgery on my foot between January and March next year. The name of the surgery and wait for it are u ready it’s long superior peroneal retinaculum reconstruction + Deep. I’ll be of my right foot for at least six weeks (in a short cast) than a moon boot for another 4 weeks along with physio.
I know at the beginning of the year I lost a lot of weight until I busted my ankle it all came back. So my weight is somewhere close to what it was at the beginning of the year. So starting tomorrow I am gonna start to aim to loose weight again however my main exercise of walking is out due to the ankle injury. I can only walk short distances of less the 2km and even then that’s pushing through the pain barrier. I’m gonna find other exercises I can do in stead of walking and I hope that it helps with the weight loss. Over the next few days I’m gonna aim to make a plan of action I can implement into my daily life. I’ll keep u guys posted and aim to write something in a couple of days.
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Blah
How do u tell someone to slow down, why can people understand that I promise is something you mean not to break and therefore if I want to make a promise it means doing my best to keep to that promise. I will not make a promise that I know I will continually break.
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11 Aug 2017
have you ever wondered that u don’t belong in this?? I feel like that all the time, but i can never follow through with the act of suicide. I have attempted many the act several times in my life. Just so you know I’m not feeling suicidal at this point, but its always in the back of mind. Especially when things get tough. Seriously the one thing i feel almost everyday, every waking moment is that i don’t belong here in this world. I know I’m not perfect and well nothing is perfect. I always feel out of place. Just once i want to feel like I am at peace with everything, even for just one day.
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Got a Competition coming up
So In about a week, i am having this fasting competition, with a friend. basically If i win we stay friends if he wins than i will attempt the whole relationship thing with him. I am getting to know him these last few weeks. Ive known him for a few years, but circumstances have changed and yea. Kinda scared havent exactly been with a male partner in years like i mean high school. so yea. my anxiety is quiet high ATM. I’m not sure if i coming or going. feel useless with my foot the way it is. today it was absolutely throbbing. So at this piont i wanna win this fast not because i dont wanna attempt the whole relationship but more so Im scared. He’s a nice guy personality wise, looks well im not sure, ive not really ever had much interest in guys.
I cut recently a few days ago. my stomach is full of fresh cuts feels a lil tender but at the time I felt a weight come of my shoulders, like all those dreadful thoughts were released with each freshly cut wound.
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Been a while
Okay so it's been awhile, I've been down in the dumps and eating my feelings away. As for exercising it's unfortunately also come to a stop. I had a bad fall which has fucked up my ankle and been down hill ever since. I'm hoping in the coming weeks to start right of the bat with a fast for as long as possible. I need to get back on track.
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10 March 2017
okay so here’s my dilemma I see the scales the numbers dropping i see the clothes dropping in size, I see my measurements dropping, beginning of the year Jan 1 i was a whopping 93.6 kg and a size 20 (Aus). Now im 83 kg and a size 14-16 (Aus). However as much as people can see the change and compliment, the compliments are nice, but honestly I look in the mirror and I still the exact same obese pig in the mirror. I want see the change family and friends can see but I don’t see it. The only thing I see a change in is my skin tone color. I used to be pretty tan (olive skin), mild yellow tinge to it, now its still tan but lighter then the start of the year. that’s the only change i can see. Why is it that everyone else can see these changes well everyone but me. Hopefully if I keep up the hard work, fasting and purging i will get down to 75 kg by the end of the month, maybe then I might see a change.
Tomorrow night going out for tea I don’t really wanna eat but i will and then I’ll purge. I’m getting better at purging successfully purged a whole large last night without gaining any weight. Bring on the challenge of tomorrow evening. i got this. No weight gain only loss that’s what I need
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9 march 913pm
Okay so a successful binge/purge tonight weigh less than this morning. Still so much to loose one step at a time.
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9 March 2017
okay, so last night I literally pulled an all nighter without even trying. Well you see i technically spent the entire night trying to go to sleep, i thought last night 10 pm yep I’m yawning that’s gotta be a good sign i might actually get more than my current average of 1-2 hrs sleep each, i was wrong wasn’t I. so another day of being tired this time no sleep ahh can not win. Oh well doctors bright and early in the morning (tomorrow that is) considering its only 730 am. definitely be telling him the new sleeping med’s is not working nor my previous ones that i now take in the mornings. Coffee shall be my friend again hahaha considering its usually only 2-4 cups a day and technically black, no sugar, no sweetener and only half strength never been able to stand a full strength makes me sound like caffeine loser. Don’t get me wrong i love coffee, cappuccinos, lattes the works but never ever have i been able to drink full strength coffee, my old fave used to be half strength soy latte with a shot of hazelnut mmmm that still sounds so good. Well its Thursday here which means shopping day in other the day i take my mother shopping, and to doctor appointments and every where else and also happens to be the day she tries to get me to eat. Over the past week I have gotten better with the purging however not good enough because I’ve gained weight (and that’s been eating to keep my mother happy). So I need to get better at purging to stop the weight gain, hopefully i will get better at it. I don’t purge everyday or binge everyday. Must keep loosing. or I am never going to reach my goals. which reminds me my holiday has moved to 5th of May so that my friend can join me. So I have an extra 2 weeks to loose the kilos.
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7 March 2017
Okay im sure its been a few days since my last post, lets just face it the change in med routine has really knocked me around, plus the new sleeping med’s has not been working, I feel extremely over tired but yet only manage to sleep for 1-2 hours of a night time and then have about 1 hr sleep through the day. I binged for a couple of days so have gained about a kilo which sucks but I’m back on track with not eating today so hopefully that kilo i gained will cease to exist in a day or two. I got to catch up with a friend yesterday afternoon which was great, we got to really catch up, and it kind of made me feel more human again. Just wish i could catch up with my friends a lil more often.
Today has also been a kind of up and down kinda day emotionally anyway, but i don’t really feel like getting into details but “Happy 6th Birthday” to my amazing niece who means the world to me I love you and i miss you loads princess.
Anyway I’ll hopefully come back on tomorrow and hopefully loose some of that weight gain by then. Working super hard to keep loosing.
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3 March 2017 midday
I did it last night I purged we had pizza for tea not to self do not purge pizza. So here’s the plan, next thursday I am going to buy some cup of soups and have one every couple of days so my mum thinks I am eating because soup is a liquid shouldn’t be to hard to purge. This way i can still fast and appear to be eating something at least. Should get my mum of my back. Had doctors again this morning. Change in meds kind of, pretty much i have a new med to take of a night time and then the ones that suppose to help me sleep I now as of tomorrow take them in the morning. Be good to be able to sleep again. Fasting today oh and this morning i reached goal weight of 84 I am now 83.9kg woot. Almost 10 kg gone.
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March 2 2017
Today is Thursday, How am I going to get out of having to have tea tonight. I need to not eat or at least purge again however that seems impossible to do because I will be out in public down at the beach. How am I going to do this. I have to come up with a a plan. So far I haven't done any exercise today because when I go for my evening walk I am going to use the exercise equipment tonight, just to mix it up a bit. Currently I am home alone and am therefore aiming not to eat like yesterday. I have to be strong if I am ever going to get thin. Currently back down to 84.2 kg this morning, yahoo. Not my lowest but close to it. Still along way to go. Feeling tired today probably the heat again.
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