thinnessss - Tumblr blog

[thinnessss]

Im feeling really shitty

[thinnessss]

In the end, all people want is to be loved

[thinnessss]

I just wrote my dad a page and a half on Word, and now Im startinf to feel sick - blood pressure falling, eyes weird, cold hands

[thinnessss]

I need to meet new people

[thinnessss]

memes summing me up

[thinnessss]

How come love isnt enough?

[thinnessss]

After this week im so ready to be admited in a crazy people's clinic

[thinnessss]

Did I grow up to the point I don't need peoples approval or am I just too exhausted to care?

[thinnessss]

I miss my eating disorder.

I thought that I was disgusting for missing it, but I realised that if I miss my ED, probably just means that I'm not okay, that my ED would validate whatever I'm feeling rn. That's just sad.

[thinnessss]

I need to vent. I have friends, but I dont want to bother them and also dont wamt advice. I just need to say it aa few more times until it gets easier.

I WASNT RAPED. And this confuses me. I agreed to the sex, the alcohol hit me, and I passed out. He didn't noticed, and in my head, I could feel the sex but I did not remember who I was with, where I was, or even having agreed to that. I cried as believed I was being raped. As soon as he realised he stopped. He was gentle. So no, I wasnt raped, but I felt raped. I dont have a rapist or someone to hate, but I know the feeling of being raped. I bled for days. I cried for months. I was not raped, but I feel like I have.

This messes up with my head. I feel like my hurting isn't valid, and like I should apologise to every abuse survivor for comparing myself to them.

And I am sorry, for them, but also for me. I lived it. Just not in the same way.

[thinnessss]

Being thin and living alone would fix all of my problems

[thinnessss]

I've barely eaten in the past 3 days, and yesterday at the moment I ate I automatically started feelling less worthy

[thinnessss]

I feel like my anxiety will kill me today

[thinnessss]

I hate how tumblr is my safe escape, because my firends don't really care, and I need someone or somewhere to write down that I CAN'T KEEP GOING. this week has been absolutely hard, my head ain't working, I have so much to do, and I hate that all I can think is that I wanted to be loved.

[thinnessss]

Im 20y, never dated or almost dated, never had a date, only casual stuff where I end up being used

Really scared im destined to be alone

[thinnessss]

i lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks ! !

reblog for that to happen to u too!

[thinnessss]

The things I miss the most in my life is my dog and anorexia