thinningjenna - Tumblr blog

[thinningjenna]

Just some awkward ed situations that have happened to me

Granny: wow you’re a slim little girl aren’t you? Do you try to be slim like that?

Me: (laughing nervously) no of course not

Dad: you’ve got to be grateful for what you’ve got. Like at least you don’t have a disability, or an eating disorder or something.

Me: yeah yeah I’m just soooo lucky right

Friend: omg literally how do you have a thigh gap? It’s not fair that you’re so naturally skinny!!

Me: lol I don’t know I think it’s just my metabolism or some shit

[thinningjenna]

tips to stop your restrict/binge cycle

okay so.. i hope these tips help at least a little

i am 100% pro recovery and do not reccomemd eating less than 1000 calories a day

anyway here ya go:

water water water, drink water aAAALLLL day long. you should be peeing 24/7

if you dont like the taste of green tea, a nocal sweetener and lemon juice makes it so yummy! over time youll get more fond of the flavor and you can slowly decrease how much sweetener you use

if you need to prevent a binge, CHEW GUM! make sure its sugar free - it keeps your mouth occupied, it gives flavor after which you don’t necessarily want to eat much and it has no sugar!

iced coffee (or just coffee) is a wonderful appetite suppressor but if you drink too much on an empty stomach, you’ll get really shaky and probably anxious. have decaf or eat something before having it if you want to avert that

if you’re on a low calorie diet, don’t count vegetables as calories. especially greens. they are mostly water anyway and theyre full of fiber and vitamins and if youre hungry, have some! it will most likely prevent a future binge too

when fasting, only do low intensity workouts. dont go for a run, instead walk for however long you want to. i like to listen to podcasts because mine are around 45 minutes, plus i learn a lot while also exercising.

keep yourself motivated by going on tumblr whenever youre bored on your phone. thinspo is wonderful!

multifandom ana edits have saved me from a binge so many times. find something that works for you to prevent binging.

learn from your mistakes. if you know you binge if u fast for too long, just dont fast for too long!! eat breakfast!! prevent future binges with veggies and healthy foods!!

if you are restricting, you will lose weight. you will lose weight whether you are exercising or not. if you dont, you will still make progress!!

please add any of your own tips, i need some new ones too ;)

i hope this helped at least a little <3333

xx

[thinningjenna]

Okay kiddo

You can either stay fat or get skinny, that’s it.

Drink that soda, eat those chips, fine.

But then you’ll have to deal with your double chin and fat legs

Go drink some water. It’s better for you. Go work out, clean your nasty room.

Do something other then eat, unless you like being fat.

[thinningjenna]

When I go 100 over my cal limit I need to calm down and stop saying “oh well I’ve already fucked it up might as well eat 8 bowls of pasta and a small village”

[thinningjenna]

🌈 • twenty four ways to distract yourself from eating • 🌈

1. Draw/Color/Paint

2. Watch a movie or TV show

3. Take a bath or shower

4. Do your skincare routine

5. Paint your nails

6. Do makeup

7. Play with a pet

8. Write

9. Watch YouTube

10. Listen to music

11. Go for a walk/run/jog

12. Clean makeup brushes

13. Clean your room

14. Do laundry

15. Sort through and get rid of old clothing

16. Rearrange your room

17. Make a dream board/inspiration board

18. Look through old family pictures or yearbooks

19. Play games on your phone

20. Take a nap

21. Clean your shoes

22. Drown yourself in social media

23. Sort things in rainbow order (markers, clothes, etc)

24. Read a book or an online article

I hope this helped you🌈

[thinningjenna]

binge watch dont binge eat.

thinking of binging? here i am, im the sign that says don’t do it. run and get some water. go to your room. stay outta the kitchen. get in the bed. grab a blanket. turn the lights off. close the blinds. shut the curtains. sit your fat ass down. get in the bed. turn on the tv or get on some streaming service. pick a show. watch it.

you thought you were gonna binge but no bitch. we staying skinny today. 🤡

(just incase y’all needed some light meanspo)

stay save loves 👼🏽☁️

[thinningjenna]

my body: hey i noticed u were getting a little too skinny so i put on a pound! hope you feel better :^)

me: oh :/ guess i’ll starve to death

my body: hey what the fuck

[thinningjenna]

Pro-Ana Tips&Tricks✨✨

..Okay so this title is super misleading bc this is NOT me helping anyone get more in their head about how to aggressively lose weight, but instead it’s how to take care of yourself when the literal only way to live is through starvation bc you’re the most disgusting and ugly human being on the planet. 

Sooooo ergo my list of ways to self-care when you have to choose your battles between health and self-love (feel free to reblog and add more this will be very helpful for myself also)

1) Take your vitamins !!!!!!!!!!!!!! every!!!!!!! day!!!!!!!!!!

2) Buy yourself a nice convenient water bottle/cup that you can get emotionally attached to that also fits your aesthetic like starbucks iced cups are really good for this or like swell bottles, something that makes you feel cool but that can comfort you also, maybe this is like some weird infant bottle thing but it just helps and also helps the environment by cutting down on your plastic water bottles since you’re obviously drinking a lot of water all day

3) Invest in a heat blanket. you will thank me later I promise

4) buy a plant, take care of it, treat it like you wish you could treat yourself, give it a name and love it.

5) Find someone to talk to who wont judge you for your actions and who actually! understands your thoughts and feelings (this one is so important I promise) ((ideally this would be someone you physically can be around, not someone you met online. Online friends are great and just as great as people you meet in real life but it’s very easy to underestimate how unhealthy you may be getting. Someone in person will seriously know if you’re about to die or not which is important, no matter how much you believe otherwise)

6) Decide that there is a specific number weight that would be taking it too far. Even if this number is 15lbs and you’ll die before you get there, consciously thinking and understanding and deciding that there actually is too small a number on the scale for you to be comfortable with can help a lot with recovery eventually and also a practical mindset for when loosing weight.

7) Do at least a small amount of make-up every day. This may seem pointless and can also get to the point where you never want to leave the house without it but it helps with the self love, taking time in front of a mirror and doing things that aren’t unhealthy like putting on mascara and believing that it does actually improve the situation means you aren’t actually a lost cause when it comes to beauty.

8) Wash your face every night, commit to a skincare routine and stick with it! Occasionally use masks/ face scrubs on special occasions.

9) Find a creative outlet i.e coloring, drawing, music, writing, photography

10) Try your best to keep your bedroom/ personal spaces clean

11) Develop daily rituals for things that aren’t food-related. I.e making your bed every morning, always lighting a candle when in your bedroom, watering your plant that I made you get every morning. This helps to give you control over more things then just your weight.

12) Make a list of foods that don’s gross you out!! It’s so sooooo easy to write off cliche foods as disgusting I’m not going to give any negative examples bc everyone is different and I don’t want to project but anyway eventually you will absolutely hate even the idea of these foods and get grossed out even when other people eat it but if you make a list for yourself of foods that are cute or comfortable or you get positive reactions when you eat them then it’ll help with eating in front of other people and also feeling normal in social events. Examples of my comfortable/cute foods are gummy candies, like mini gummy worms or watermelon sour patch bc other people get excited and want to share when I have them and it becomes a cool thing that I’m known for always having and it’s sweet and cute and not gross and greasy. I also eat puffs, which is veryyyy low in calories and also baby food so when people see me eat it they think of me as small or dainty or easily satisfied by very small amounts of food. I also feel comfortable eating most Asian culture foods because the calories are normally lower and although portions are sometimes very large it’s nice to have control over eating very little of it also chopsticks slow your eating down a lotttt.

13) Post/Take more pictures of yourself. Even if you aren’t getting any responses/likes/comments from people it’s the same concept of putting on make-up every day. You do something, and no matter how much effort or time it takes from you, eventually you think to yourself “Hey this picture isn’t as terrible as all the others and I’m at least a little comfortable with how I look even if I need to edit and filter the hell out of it first” idk how to accurately explain this but consciously thinking that you look better than before is good! because it’s a positive enough thought about your physical beauty.

💖There’s so much more that I could put in this but that’s all I can think of right now I hope this helps other people also. I really don’t pretend to know more than the next person but I know what helps me soooo please add more of your own things! I love each and every one of you and I’m always here for support if you need it. Stay safe and take care of yourself as best as you can💖!

[thinningjenna]

~ things that helped me recover ~

sometimes, imagine yourself as a healthy skinny girl (instead of a skeletal girl drinking endless cups of black coffee etc), who eats healthily in small portions and doesnt binge. this really helped me eat something small (like berries an yoghurt) for breakfast instead of nothing until dinner.

focusing on something else that you can control. whenever i relapse, it’s because i need to feel like i achieved something or something’s gone wrong in my life. what really helped me is focusing on my grades, or my skin, or writing a story or anything else that i could control.

find something else that you can lose control over. instead of binging and then consequently severely restricting every time you feel helpless, find something else—binging a tv show, youtube, a book, buying things online, sleeping.

every time you’re about to forego eating, think about how that little bit of food could help you. help your brain, your hair, your nails, your skin, your muscles.

find other body goals. instead of wanting to be unhealthily skinny, i decided i wanted to be skinny but with a big booty and boobs. this meant that i was working out to make my waist smaller (which was burning calories), but i always made sure i ate lots of protein to help me achieve my goals— and that’s far better than eating carb-only food like lettuce and fruit.

i know it’s scary, and i know you feel guilty and terrible and disgusting. i know.

but i hope that these tips helped you eat a little bit more and feel a little bit more at peace today.

the sun will come out. 🌤

and here’s a bee. 🐝

[thinningjenna]

Why is my head so fucked up? Why am I doing this? I know I gained weight. I can feel and see it but I can't weight myself yet. It's a really bad feeling (u guys can relate) but I can't handle that now. It's worse than before. I want to never eat again but on the other side I'm constantly thinking about food.

Wish me luck

I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again. I will lose these pounds again.

[thinningjenna]

this isn’t even an opinion, it’s an actual fact that no child deserves to be abused 

[thinningjenna]

does anyone else constantly get the feeling that you’re running out of time?? and for no reason!! i could be lying in bed in the middle of summer vacation and my mind is like “hurry up!!! before it’s too late!!!” and i’m just like “hurry up and do what?? leave me alone wtf!!!”

[thinningjenna]

i’m back on my fasting/restricting bullshit🥴🥴 lets gooooo

[thinningjenna]

Reblog if your weight, diet, and daily calorie intake is the first thing you think of each morning.

it breaks my heart to see so many people like this… unfortunately it happens to me too. let’s stay strong together guys ❤️

[thinningjenna]

What I wish I knew before I fell into this trap

Heart failure is a very real thing. Organ failure is a very real thing. Brain damage is a very real thing. You cannot avoid these if you are restricting at a dangerously low deficit, I promise you.

You will feel like shit, all the time. Your head will always hurt. You will always feel nauseous. You will always feel weak. You’ll wake up in the morning and the first thing on your mind will be how absolutely exhausted you are, no matter the amount you slept. You’ll lose the ability to focus, or even think at all properly.

You will see people die. If you manage to not WITNESS it, you will hear about it. There are many blogs still up on here whose owner’s have long since passed.

Getting thinner won’t make people like you. Romantically, platonically, in general. People will see you losing so much weight so fast and they will know to stay far away from you, because they don’t want to see you DIE.

Extending from that, you won’t like the attention. Yeah, you’ll get the “You’ve lost so much weight!” all the time. And then what? You lose more, and the comments stop. You’ll get pressured to eat. The only thing people can focus on is your weight, just like you. They’ll stop looking you in the eyes. Everyone around you will know you’re a ticking time bomb, and they won’t be able to stop thinking of how close to death you are. It doesn’t matter what weight you are, you will start dying, and everyone can tell.

You will not be dainty or pretty, and you won’t feel dainty nor pretty. You’ll feel fucking disgusting.

Your life will always be numbers. Calories, pounds, ounces, grams, inches, calories pounds ounces grams inches calories pounds ounces grams inches. You will never be able to forget these numbers.

That ana buddy you want so desperately? That’s just another disordered person who you’re encouraging to kill themselves, whether you acknowledge it or not. Maybe they’ll die. Maybe you’ll die. Maybe you both will.

Yeah, maybe you’re reading all of this and the only thought on your mind is “Well, as long as I’m skinny, right?” Or, “I WANT to die, this doesn’t mean shit.” You don’t want to die like this. You don’t want to live like this. I’ve had my heart stop three times. I’ve had my heart almost stop more times than I can count. Those minutes before you flatline? They don’t feel like the movies. I wasn’t surrounded by family and friends. I wasn’t basking in the glory of my sickness. I was shaking, cold and alone. I was terrified.

You won’t be a success story. You’ll be just be another fucking statistic.

Get the help, please. Don’t devote your life to this. You deserve better than to suffer. Please.

[thinningjenna]

My blog is for:

Coping with my mental stuff

Getting my disordered thoughts out of me and not letting them eat me up inside

Seeing other ppl with similar issues to not feel so alone, possibly making friends with them so they don’t feel so alone

Making me not feel so crappy

My blog isn’t for:

× For promoting mental disorders

× Promoting self harm

× Putting others down

× Telling others to do what I do

[thinningjenna]

the morning after i killed myself,i woke up.

i made breakfast in bed. I added salt and pepper to my eggs and used my toast for a cheese and bacon sandwich, i squeezed a grapefruit into a juice glass. i scraped the ashes from the frying pan and rinsed the butter off the counter. i washed the dishes and folded the towels. 

the morning after i killed myself, i fell in love. not with the boy down the street or the middle school principal, not with the everyday jogger or the grocer who always left the avocados out of the bag. i fell in love with my mother and the way she sat on the floor of my room holding each rock from my collection in her palms until they grew dark with sweat. i fell in love with my father down at the river as he placed my note into a bottle and sent it into the current. With my brother who once believed in unicorns but now who sits in his desk at school trying desperately to believe that i still exist. 

the morning after i killed myself, i walked the dog. i watched the way her tail twitched when a bird flew by or how her pace quickened at the sight of a cat. i saw the empty space in her eyes when she reached a stick and turned around to greet me so we could play catch but saw nothing but sky in my place. i stood by as strangers stroked her muzzle and she wilted beneath their touch as she once did for mine. 

the morning after i killed myself, i went back to the neighbors yard where i left my footprints in concrete as a two year old and examined how they where already fading. I picked a few day-lilies and pulled a few weeds and watched the elderly woman through her window as she read the paper with the news of my death. I saw her husband spit tobacco into the kitchen sink and bring her her daily medication. 

the morning after i killed myself, i watched the sun come up. each orange tree opened like a hand and the kid down the street pointed out a single red cloud to his mother. 

the morning after i killed myself i went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. i told her about the avocados and the stepping stones, the river and her parents. i told her about the sunset and the dog on the beach. 

the morning after i killed myself, i tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what i  started - Maggie Royer