third-vowel-eater

[third-vowel-eater]

Hi it sems lik yo made post but frgot to mke it abut me?

Dn’t worry thugh, i cn add my wn comment tht shows i ddn’t understnd yor orignal post

Hi it seems like you made a post but forgot to make it about me?

[third-vowel-eater]

sorry never rplied. verydy is blnding togther and m losing snse of tme

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

[third-vowel-eater]

APRIL FOL’S BONS

"i fuckd yor wife"/"'m having sx with yur wif"/"i'm cuckng yo": comed

"i'm helpng yor wife wth houshold chors"/"i'm takng yor wife ut to nice dnner and shw after sh's had a lng day t work"/"i'm bnding with our chldren ovr famil gatherngs": peak cmedy

Trnscendent cmedy

“’m at yu BM crib thrwin M&M’s at o kid had full sped”

“thinkng abot that tim i got rally md at a prent who ws being bitch t me when was a cmp counslor, so taught hr daughtr how to te her shes. try gtting that bnding exprienc back bitch.”

"i fucked your wife"/"i'm having sex with your wife"/"i'm cucking you": comedy

"i'm helping your wife with household chores"/"i'm taking your wife out to a nice dinner and show after she's had a long day at work"/"i'm bonding with your children over family gatherings": peak comedy

[third-vowel-eater]

No mor gimmick blgs.

No more gimmick blogs.

[third-vowel-eater]

Lookng through th notes nd. Why is lterall (literlly) evry gimmck blog drawn t this post n particlar

What s going n

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[third-vowel-eater]

The spit s alredy in our creal. our rbitrar sorting shtters at th slightest prvocatin.

A fundamental flaw of the human design is that we’re so complicated but also we like putting stuff in fun simple little categories. Like major glitch there. They should patch that.

[third-vowel-eater]

im not lke the ther girls m a bo

im not like the other girls im a boy

[third-vowel-eater]

somethng abot lightbulbs jst screams "pt me in our muth" it fels so ntural. lke smokng while pmping gas

something about lightbulbs just screams "put me in your mouth" it feels so natural. like smoking while pumping gas

[third-vowel-eater]

*struggles whle writng* i suck nd writing s hard

*remmbers som ppl use i* i m a cretive frce. i m uncorrpted by thft and indlence. am on journy to xcellenc. it is m duty t keep tking jo in creting.

*struggles while writing* i suck and writing is hard

*remembers some ppl use ai* i am a creative force. i am uncorrupted by theft and indolence. i am on a journey to excellence. it is my duty to keep taking joy in creating.

[third-vowel-eater]

"save m, substanc abus!" i cry. bfore ou cn moralze to m abot the dangrs of addction, noble nd powerfl steed gllops int the rom - my hors whom i hve namd "substanc abus". yo learn n importnt lesson bout mking assmptions. snort a lne off ts back

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

[third-vowel-eater]

I lov getting "pst withot tags?" on m stupidst ever psts. oh my gd sorry tmblr how cold i forgt. #dust mit #wet nurs

I love getting "post without tags?" on my stupidest ever posts. oh my god sorry tumblr how could i forget. #dust mite #wet nurse

[third-vowel-eater]

Hey nteract wth this if ou wnt me to smmon yu in thse things whre yu summn peopl

Hey interact with this if you want me to summon you in those things where you summon people

[third-vowel-eater]

let the cntemporry recrd show mr best was prett ignorble for hs whole creer f yo were jst like, bsy.

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

[third-vowel-eater]

If yu gus were n here t 11 yers old what wuld yu be psting abut

If you guys were on here at 11 years old what would you be posting about

[third-vowel-eater]

One f my studnts is writng abot a ghost h "intervewed". Th ghost is clled Waltr and did in 1865 . The ghst has ghost frends.

This s making grding homwork signficantl more fn.

I told my students they're allowed to be creative and don't have to be factual when writing about themselves in German because I keep getting questions like "what if I don't have roommates or what if I don't have hobbies" and I'm like guys just make something up! Have fun! I won't fact check you!

So now I am grading homework where a student is claiming to be from North Korea and his hobby is tax fraud

[third-vowel-eater]

Reaaall fucked p how yu ned to do mre than ne thing day

Reaaaally fucked up how you need to do more than one thing a day

[third-vowel-eater]

unpoplar opnion bt i lik it when tv shws have wmen in thm

unpopular opinion but i like it when tv shows have women in them