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I was looking for a new project and remembered how much I love @inkskinned s stuff. And also Icarus. And so I made this. Thanks always Raquel for your wonderful words

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i pay attention to shit you wouldn’t even think i’m paying attention to.

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It’s true though.

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FUCK, MAN! FUCK!!!!

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Still a good boy. (via Holly_Monson)

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big fan of water bottles tbh. you put water in them and then you can drink it and then you can put more in??? love it

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i’ve been thinking of that video, you know, the one where she burns her face for the sake of an even skin tone. i watched it at 2 AM after having nightmares about churches. i thought i was still dreaming. she put chemicals on her body and fries in them. undoes in them. what a perfect metaphor for beauty worship.

is this girlhood?

oh we wanted to laugh. dumb bitch! in the comments. but i went back to sleep and i dreamed, not nightmare but not comfortable, of the cakes i will not let myself eat because of the cost of their calories. i started crying, woke up drenched in sweat, worried i’d somehow transported to the kitchen, worried i’d fucked up and actually done it. god, how terrifying. i remember the wave of gratefulness - no, no, this belly is empty, and it is good to be empty, like this.

how is it different. i’m not a dumb bitch; i’m a refined and self-controlled bitch, up on her shit. it is not dumb-bitch to starve yourself. to restrict. it is a respectable lady thing.

i think of her skin, swollen in the first week, while i go to work in heels and a jacket. my male coworker wears jeans. i think of her, waving at her face, while my hair goes up into professional-bun, stays there long after the headache. i think of her, watery-eyed and turning, bird-like, to look upon the damage she’d done - and i think of me, of my sunday-night facemask that “burns, but like, it works.” 

razors and waxing and eyebrow tweezers and picking at skin and sucking in and sitting properly and suffocating and curling smaller and self-denying and eyelash extensions and taping the second toe to the third so you can’t feel your shoes anymore and destroying, destroying, destroying

2 AM heard the first words i said that morning, softly.

“that’s self-harm”.

or it’s just girlhood. or it’s just beauty.

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good morning everyone except this person