this-is-me97

[this-is-me97]

“You are the only person you need to be good enough for.”

— a daily reminder (via immer-und-immerwieder)

[this-is-me97]

[this-is-me97]

[this-is-me97]

[this-is-me97]

Happy Trans day of Visibility y’all!!

[this-is-me97]

12.11.19

So I'm still on the struggle bus. The other details of life are generally getting to me but deep down this is a struggle too. I don't have any warm masculine clothes which makes me feel super self conscious because I haven't gotten to wear clothes that I'm super comfy in. I've been feeling more masculine lately in my heart as well as just sad and anxious. Life is rough.

[this-is-me97]

[this-is-me97]

08.06.2019

I'm really thinking about announcing to everyone that I wanna use they/them pronouns for me this school year. Because sometimes I can live with she/her pronouns and other days I cry for twenty minutes after my partner uses the phrase good girl accidentally in sex because it feels so awful.

Like somedays I look in the mirror and love how I look and wear my cute push up bra and earrings that match my glasses, other days I do it performatively. Sometimes I cry when I see what's in the mirror and wish that I could bind and still have all of the might and power and flexibility that I could have as any other advanced musician but since I know I need every bit of breathing space I can get so I dont bind. I struggle a lot with gender a lot of the time and quite honestly it makes me sick.

Like today I felt like dressing more masculinely. I'm identifying male today. I can say that honestly. And to not pass bothers me sometimes. Or to not wear what makes me happy. And that hurts but sometimes it's better than an afternoon of backlash.

The fact that I can relate to this feeling and get in the way of someone truly being themselves however they see fit disgusts me. And that's why I want to say I'm sorry Sam. I know it's not coming for a while but I want you to love yourself as much as I love you. And I support whatever that takes fully. You're you and that won't ever change no matter what change happens on the outside. Weve both experienced change during this year plus but change is inevitable. Sometimes you've got to go with the flow even if the future is uncertain. Even if change scares you.

I love you. And I'm going to love you forever.

[this-is-me97]

It’s okay to have a complicated relationship with your gender. One day you will find a feeling that makes you happy

[this-is-me97]

sometimes gender be like

but sometimes it’s

or this

maybe this

this?

any gender: exists

you:

how about

uhh this?

we’re all valid happy pride

[this-is-me97]

Me: *is genderfluid*

My gender: *fluctuates*

Me:

[this-is-me97]

06.30

Imma start using she/her pronouns again. Everyone doing different pronouns for me sucks. I hate it. It feels wrong with both sets of pronouns I've tried and I'm not dealing with it right now.

[this-is-me97]

06.16

Happy Father’s Day. Up in here shitting it up-literally- hoping I didn’t get the stomach bug floating around work on top of my already sick ass. :/ Plz be thinking about me bc imma try to go to church tomorrow as long as I’m a little better.

[this-is-me97]

06.11

I’ve found a name and an identity that I enjoy. In a select group of people I’m going by Max. I love it. It makes me feel comfortable. I’m thinking about using he/him pronouns for a bit to see what I like

[this-is-me97]

05.20

I swear to god some people make you feel like a criminal in your own damn skin. Going to see my partner today no matter what anyone says. I have common sense. I’m not getting myself into shitty situations. I have common sense. I watch my surroundings. I. Have. Common. Sense. I look out for myself and those around me. I’m annoyed. My mom is gonna be a homophobe. I know it. Why does she have to make me stress out anytime I’m going farther than where I work or go to school? Annoying af.

[this-is-me97]

05.01

Period dyphoria is the actual worst and it makes me not wanna do anything or go anywhere. I hate being ashamed of my body. Plus on top of that my periods hurt so bad they make me nauseous. Fun times.

[this-is-me97]

This has been a lovely week full of learning and laughter but I’m soooo ready to see my partner tonight and fall asleep in their arms and maybe get them naked 💕💕💕