this-is-not-me-talking-blog

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

I wish I had courage to tell some one, but I'm so afraid they'll blame me for this and I'll just turn out to be the person who is ruining their lives.

I finally told my mom about my ed🎉

And honestly her reaction couldn’t be better i love her so much and she’s going to take me to the doctor tomorrow and I’m finally motivated to recover❤️ im just so fucking tired of having no energy for nothing and weighing out salad. I just want to live again ✨ im not going to be as active on here but i might post some recovery updates in the future

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

Thinspo girls are so beautiful & perfect & I strive/starve to look like them.

Plus size girls are so beautiful & perfect & I can’t help but compare my shapeless body to their amazing curves.

Average size girls are so beautiful & perfect & I would kill to have their figure.

My ed doesn’t know what it wants me to do, it just doesn’t like or want to be me.

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

Life’s not so black and white

Bodies of water

and bodies of blood

I’m drowning in snow

but my soul’s getting hotter

I have appetite for pain

but I’m starving for some life

I set  ‘decay’ as a beautiful goal

and I hope my blood will become rain

I’m immune to the feelings

I only know how to compare

I got lost on the way from black to white

and I colored myself with my own bleedings 

I’m boiling the snow

and melting the mountains

of course the monster was me

and I’ll never see the rainbow

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

This is the first time I see this perspective, I do agree that we should not wait for someone else to love us so we could love ourselves, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN NOBODY LOVES US IF WE ARE STRUGGLING WITH SELF HATE.

Thanks for putting it that way, your post made me very calm.

PEOPLE DO CARE

STOP! TELLING! PEOPLE! THAT! NO! ONE! WILL! LOVE! THEM! UNTIL! THEY! LOVE! THEMSELVES! STOP! PLANTING! THE! IDEA! IN! PEOPLES! BRAINS! THAT! THEY! ARE! UNWORTHY! OF! LOVE! BECAUSE! OF! THEIR! OWN! STRUGGLE!

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

~ana tips for newbies~

here’s some tips for you guys who are new to the ana community :-)

- leave. 

- get the hell out of here. 

- delete tumblr. especially if you are under 13. do not ruin your childhood. 

- this is not a diet. this is an illness i would not wish upon anyone. 

- listen to me when i say you need to get as far away from tumblr as you can. i wish someone told me this when i first found these tags. 

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

not eating means no energy and no energy means not being able to play with small doggies bc ur too weak so please look after your bodies ok do it for the doggies who want to play with u

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

if you are having trouble with eating:

you deserve to eat

you need to eat

food is not the enemy

calories give you the energy to smile

you are worthy

you are loved

i am proud of you for fighting, you can do this!!

5 seconds of insane courage, it’s all you need

your struggles are real, so is your bravery

you are good enough

you are not a mistake

you are one of a kind

every cell in your body needs love

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

10 July 2018

Reminder: Do not buy from Amazon or even open the website on 10 July 2018, in solidarity with the transnational strike.

Amazon workers in Spain have called for a transnational strike because Amazon has been avoiding accountability for its labour rights violations by merely shifting the work (and the human rights abuses Amazon inflicts on their workers) to non-striking countries, each time a strike occurs. If there is widespread striking transnationally, Amazon will have no choice but to recognize the strikers’ demands in order to keep their facilities functioning.

Our job as allies is to support the strike by avoiding using the Amazon website or purchasing anything from Amazon for as long as the strike continues. A mass boycott of the site, coinciding with the strike, will strengthen the workers’ bargaining position and could be crucial to Amazon workers gaining back basic rights in a variety of countries.

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

my bucket list:

learn how to function properly like a normal human being

that’s it

that’s all i’m asking for

pls

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

I go from wanting to never eat again to wanting to eat normally to wanting to eat everything in the kitchen and then back to not wanting to eat again multiple times a day and I’m just very tired of it okay

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

Binge eating disorder is just as valid as anorexia or bulimia.

An eating disorder is an eating disorder. We need to stop invalidating others’ struggles. Those with binge eating disorder suffer just as those with bulimia and anorexia suffer.

Binge eating disorder is wildly under-diagnosed anyway, because professionals rarely ever look past the weight and the gluttony ideal they have. Those affected by it probably struggle more just in this regard alone - they can go their entire lives with this eating disorder and never be diagnosed because it’s just assumed they’re gluttonous and lazy.

Just because binge eaters don’t purge afterwards doesn’t make them any less valid than bulimics or anorexics.

As a community, let’s please learn to welcome and accept others and validate their struggles even if they’re not the same as ours.

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

“We are all a people in need. We are not perfect. We are not machines. We make mistakes. We need grace. We need compassion. We need help at times. We need other people. And that’s okay.”

— Jamie Tworkowski

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

how i stopped binging(1 year binge free!)

don’t purge!! i know this is easier said then done but you’re more likely to binge if you have the mindset of “well i can always bring it up anyways”

don’t use things like laxatives/water pills/over exercise. chances are you binged bc you needed the nutrients and depriving your body from them will just lead to another binge as you’ll need the nutrients again

personally i found fasting after a binge led to a bigger binge as my body was craving food so much more from going from all to nothing

i eat and drink quite regularly. i drank water/tea/diet coke all day and i ate from 12pm-8pm. eating once a day can lead to binges as your body will crave the food so much more

i went low carb and that helpeed me as carbs was a massive binge trigger for me! findings food groups which trigger you is a good way to stop the binges

chances are if you want to binge; it could be a sign if your blood sugar is low and your body is craving sugar. getting sugar from fruits is healthier so have a fruit such as apples or tomatoes

if i feel the urge to binge, i eat but i eat healthy foods such tomatoes and veggies! i its okay to eat when you’re hungry + its okay to give your body permission to eat but you’re eating the right foods!

✨stay safe everyone✨

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

I mean who’s to say…

Who’s to say you find an answer when there isn’t?

What if you just die?

What if life as we know it…is all a dream?

What if we live for no reason?

What if we just disappear when you die?

Should I cling to life?

Or should i just kill myself?

Xxxtentacion

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

❤❤

Newsflash, angels: one binge isn’t going to set you back. One binge isn’t going to ruin all of your progress. One binge isn’t going to make you gain ten pounds overnight.

I promise you baby, you’ll be okay. You’re not ruining your progress. 🖤

[this-is-not-me-talking-blog]

For now I can only tell you that you are not alone, we feel all the awful things you do, we are hurting together, and one day, maybe, we will get at least, as little as one step towards something healthier...

I don't want to make any fake promises but I can tell you that we are here for you, even though we are all scared

(love from everyone here, because loving your own self is hard❤❤)

My thoughts…today.