this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Your Savior Is Here! Ch 8: Needy

Hi! Ive gained some new followers since I last posted so I just want to say hi! I’m Nataly and thank you for reading🥰 This was longer than I thought it would be but if you make it through you want to tell me your favorite line? Mine is “You’ll have to show me sometime.” 😏

“Homelander, please! I’m begging you!” I cling to him, all of my pride forgotten to be able to keep my sanity. With my arms and legs wrapped around him, he carries me around the apartment whispering calming words to me that aren’t working.

“It won’t be like last time,” He promises as he supports me with a hand under my butt while he manages to collect other things with his free hand. “This isn’t a punishment. It’s to keep you safe while I’m gone, we don’t want anyone coming in here while I’m away.”

“I won’t run! I’ll be so good!”

He shushes me, “I’m not worried about you running, I know you learned your lesson. I’m doing this to keep everyone else away. After I take off everyone’s clearance on the door you can stay out here but until then, I’m worried about someone coming in here and taking you.” The hatch opens, Homelander takes me inside, “Hold on tight or I have to put you down.”

I cling on tighter, making him chuckle as he works on organizing things how he wants them. I hadn’t been paying attention to what he had been grabbing and I’m unable to look over my shoulder to see what his is doing so I just wait. He continues to carry me around without any complaint, grabbing things from the apartment and bringing them to the panic room. When he is satisfied with the room he urges me down on to my own two feet.

“What do you think now?” He wonders as he turns me around. Immediately, I feel the difference. Instead of cold metal, my feet find the soft texture of the beds’ comforter. The light is actually on too, a single light fixture on the ceiling but it’s more than I had before. There are pillows lined against one wall and a small basket of snacks and a few bottled water, more than I’ve ever had. It looks cozy actually, but there is nothing to kill my boredom which is what drove me insane in the first place.

“How long are you going to be gone this time? I won’t run away again, please don’t leave me in here again! You saw what happened last time, even with all of this all I’m going to be able to do is spiral out of my mind again. I don’t want to be in here Homelander! Please don’t make me! Please don’t leave!” I forget about all of the bad things he’s done and throw myself at him again. “Just stay here with me. Please!” His arms don’t wrap around me immediately like they always do, I hold myself to him all on my own, my words hanging in the air. We stay like this for a moment, I wait for him to push me away, to do something. This is the moment he regrets bringing me here. I become more than he wanted, needier than he was expecting. Where is my shame? My mind begins spiraling of what is to come.

He finally responds, his arms wrap around me and hold me tight, “Where is your head?” He questions shushing me, hearing my heart race in my chest.

“I thought you were going to be mad at me for whining,” I admit without removing my face from the crook of his neck.

“Mad? I am not mad at all.”

“Then why didn’t you answer me?”

Homelander clears his through awkwardly, “Cause I need to use all of myself control when you say things like that.”

I pull away slightly to look him in the eye, “Control yourself?” I find the face I’ve become accustomed to with a look that I’ve never seen. He’s lost all playfulness from moments ago, now replaced with a primal stare. His jaw is clenched tight, his arms flexing tight around me, “Oh.”

“I need you to let go.”

He is giving me an out. I should take it. I should take what little pride I have left and stand on my own two feet while he goes and does what he needs to do. It probably won’t take too long and even if it does I have stuff to eat and drink while I wait for him. But what if he doesn’t want to come back. He has every opportunity out there and all I have to offer is myself. I need to give him an incentive. The idea is dangerous and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to follow through on my promises but I don’t want to be in here longer than I have to.

I take a deep breath, “No.”

“No? Natasha, you need to listen.” He makes a lighthearted attempt to pull me off of him but he doesn’t use his real strength. I secure my grip on him, one arm loops around his neck, my free hand wraps around and tangles my fingers in his blond locks. My face is back in the crook of his neck, breathing in the wonderful scent of his expensive cologne.

“I don’t want you to go,” I tell him again, going against the voices in my head telling me this is a bad idea. I press my lips to his neck, softly at first. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, his hands grip my thighs tight enough to bruise. “Please Homelander.” A few more kisses on his neck has the man trembling, he stumbles backwards into the metal wall, before using what is left over of his strength to lower us gently to the ground. With me now straddling his lap I can really feel the effect I have on him.

I am expecting his voice to reflect his body’s reaction, to tremble a bit when he speaks or for him not to speak at all. It would make things easier, I would feel as if I’m actually in control, but I should know by now, I’m never in control with this man. “You are crossing a dangerous line little girl,” He growls in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. His hands move dangerously slow, gliding up my thighs to my hips, dull nails just barely grazing my through the fabric of my sweatpants. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He emphasizes question with a solid thrust of his hips, grinding his length against me. He rubs me just right, forcing a gasp out of my mouth. “I imagined what you would sound like,” the god groans in my ear, “But I should have known, reality is so much better.”

“You’ve thought about this?” I question breathlessly, curious about what goes on in his head.

“Ever since I found you, I’ve wanted you like this.” Homelander holds me tighter as he ruts against me like his life depends on it. He is almost like a teenager with his eagerness, his movements fast and jerky. But unlike many of the boys from my teens he seems to be actually aiming for something, brushing my most sensitive area. My whole body is tingling, urging me to follow him in return, chasing my own pleasure. I ignore the shame growing in the back of my mind, focusing on this feeling in the pit of my stomach and on the man beneath me. The way his back muscles contract under my finger tips, the gruff groans his lets out when I tighten my grip on his hair, it does more to me than it should. I shouldn’t be enjoying this. He is the reason I’m acting like this, why I am so starved for any kind of contact. I need to stop. I need to get away from him.

Homelander does stop. Panic begins to fill me as I worry if my thoughts slipped out of me mouth. He lets out an almost animalistic growl, this one is not of arousal, that I am sure. I tense in his grip before attempting to pull away, scared of what could come next. But his hold on me is unbreakable, one arm comes up and wraps around me, pulling me flush against his heaving chest. He litters kiss on my shoulder pausing for a moment to take a deep breath before pulling away. I do the same, looking him in the eyes unsure of what I did wrong. He doesn’t look mad, well mad at me at least. His eyes are still soft when I find them, a small smile on his face as he takes in my slightly disheveled appearance. Even with my dark complexion I’m sure he can still see the pink hue to my cheeks.

“So perfect,” He mumbles to me as he continues to stare.

“Did I do something wrong?”

He sighs, “No, never.”

There’s a knock at the main door followed by a voice I can’t help but roll my eyes at, “Homelander! I gave you your 24 hours, now you need to do what you promised.”

“Oh,” I groan, “This is her fault.” Of course it is, this whole thing is her fault.

“Yes, at least she was smart enough to not come inside this time.”

“I mean it would have given you the perfect excuse to get rid of her.”

He chuckles, “As annoying as that woman is, she’s much better than the others they have had. She just needs to learn that my priorities have changed.” His hand comes up and cups my cheeks, “I’m done with the useless promotions, so I should be back here soon.”

“Promise?” The vulnerability in my voice is disgustingly obvious and I hate myself for it but if I need to do puppy dog eyes to get him back and get me out of this room I will do it.

“I promise. I have to film an ad and have on meeting with the rest of the seven and I will be home. I’ll bring something good for dinner.” His promise shouldn’t mean much since the last time he said that I didn’t see him for over 24 hours and had a mental breakdown but I push the negativity out of my head.

“Okay.”

He places a kiss on my forehead before gently laying me down on the makeshift bed he made for me. “Be good.”

“I will.”

“I know,” He stands ups, I expect for him to leave but instead he turns and begins messing with the monitors on the wall. Each one is revealed to be a security camera, each one pointed at a place on this floor. “Here, this should keep you from going back into any bad memories.”

I give him small smile, actually grateful for the distraction, “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome baby. Get comfortable and take a nap while I'm gone." I nod as I obey, fixing the blanket slightly and covering myself up. When I am snuggled in with the pillows and comforter he smiles at me, "Perfect. Now I just have one thing before I go."

My brows raise at that.

"I know we ended in a bad spot but no finishing while I'm gone."

"Finishing?" It takes me a moment to understand but when I do a blush returns to my cheeks. "I won't," I promise, looking away from him, unable to keep eye contact with such an intense stare.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours."

"Bye Homelander."

I know I didn't say what he wanted by the way his smile falters for a second. But he pushes whatever bad feeling he had away and smiles brighter, "Bye baby."

The door seals with solid click, telling me that I both safe and stuck at the same time. It's a weird feeling but not nearly as awful as before. It's almost comforting and I hate admitting that, even if it's just to myself. I push those feelings away, focusing on the screens in front of me, attempting to figure out where each one is faced. There is movement on every one but a flash of red, white, and blue pulls all my attention. It's Homelander, he is stepping out of the apartment into the hall, closing the door securely behind him, even trying the door handle a few times. When he turns around he stops and looks up into the camera, that smile of his spreads across his stupid handsome face as he waves almost childishly at the camera. Against my will, I return the smile. I force myself to stop, pissed at myself for responding without even thinking about it. I'm sure he would be happy though.

I sigh, both pissed at my own stupidity but happy that this will probably be the worst part of my day. With the TVs I must admit the day won't be as bad. People watching has always been one of my favorite pass times and watching Homelander is my newest pass time. Watching him interact with other people will probably be my newest obsession. The thought hasn't really crossed my mind, the only people I've seen him talk to are the bitch Madelyn and Starlight, neither one had him putting on his hero mask. Is he like that with everyone in the building? He couldn't, there would be too many people to tell the media about the number one hero's psychotic behavior.

As if on cue Madelyn appears on screen in front of him, glancing at the camera quickly but ignores it to put her hands on her hips and say something to the man in front of her. His smile disappears in a blink as his eyes move to the witch, says something back before striding past her down the hall, his hands tucked behind his back as he goes. She chases after him, struggling to keep up with his pace, stumbling slightly making me chuckle. I hope she falls on her face.

I'm quick to realize as I watch him move from one screen to another that he set it up for him to go from one screen to the other, making sure he's never out of my sight. I don't know if he's trying to be considerate or threatening. Most likely both. I roll my eyes but continue to watch as he steps into the elevator, once again waving before the doors close and he is finally out of my sight. I know he couldn't see me that whole time but it feels as if a weight has been lifted off my chest the moment those doors close. I finally relax into the blankets, curling up as I watch other people move around the floor. There aren't as many people as I would expect to be speed walking down the halls but I'm not even sure what day it is anymore. Homelander made it impossible for me to keep track of how long I was in here before, he never told me and there isn't a single thing in this god forsaken apartment to clue me in either. I can barely remember what day I came here, I'm not sure I even want to know at this point. If I don't pay attention to the days things go faster.

A familiar figure catches my attention, dressed in her skin tight super suit she makes her way through the floor. It's Starlight, looking cheerful as always, doing her name justice. She is an interesting one. She seems to be all that the media makes her out to be, sweet, strong, the pure definition of a superhero. The blonde had the audacity to stand up to The Homelander on my behalf so she can't be that bad. Maybe not all supes are complete trash.

Time goes by surprisingly fast. It seems like no time has passed when I see Homelander step out of the elevator. As if he knew I would be waiting, he waves to the camera, flashing a smile before continuing down the hall. It would be a lie to say I didn't perk up at the sight of him, fully sitting up, ready to get out of here. But instead of following the cameras back to me he takes a wrong turn. I sigh, ah yes, he has a meeting with the Seven. I drop back down down into the pillows. At least he is back in the building. The rest of the Seven pass the same camera, I check each member off in my head until two women that I don't recognize go in together. I would have paid them no mind but one in a black super suit with a cape and all. Who is that?

I can ask when Homelander gets back I guess. The meeting hopefully won't last too long, not that I really want him to come back, I just want out of this room, I tell myself. He hasn't been that bad today so I can't really say anything bad. Other than locking me in a fucking box. I did run away last time and like he said, he trusts me. It's the other people he doesn't trust. He's just doing this to keep me safe. I want to be mad at him, I really do but as angry as I get the feeling fades away the minute he smiles at me. It's disgusting. But it's hard not to like him at least a little bit, minus the broken fingers and isolation he has taken pretty good care of me. I feel better than I have in a while. He really tries to make me feel better too.

What happened hours earlier pops into my head, immediately making my cheeks burn with embarrassment. It was obvious that he was chasing his own pleasure but he did make sure that I felt the same. Not being able to reach my release didn't bother me at the time, my urges were killed by the terrifying growl Homelander let out, but now as I begin to remember I press my thighs together. My body didn't have time to process what had happened before, but now as it wants to feel it again. That basic primal urge to grind against that man took over me and I hate myself for it. But it has been awhile since I've had that kind of release. There is no proper place to do that on the street without inviting unwanted guests. Here would be perfect.

Homelander is busy, I would see him coming a mile away, now is probably the best time. There is no way he could hear me from there, right? With my eyes fixated on the last screen he appeared, I allow myself get more comfortable. With my promise forgotten, my hands drift under the blanket to play with the hem of my t-shirt for a few seconds. As I begin tugging it up slowly my finger nails graze my stomach, barely making it pass my belly button before my hand go flat begin drifting south. My palms are hot against my skin, creeping lower into the waistband of my sweats. Underwear had been a luxury on the streets, here a pair of my own seem to be a dream. His boxers are my only option.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I stop wasting time, my fingers find their target over my underwear. Two fingers moving in small slow circles over my little bud, teasing myself a little to start things off, those circles getting tighter as the minutes pass. My breathing picks up and my hips become unable to stay still as a knot begins to form in the pit of my stomach, slowly winding itself up. It doesn’t feel as good as it did with Homelander, I try to ignore that, but once his face is in my mind that’s all I can think about. How would his fingers feel? Would they be gentle or rough? Experienced? Or would he fumble unsure of where to touch? In my mind his fingers replace my own, knowing him he would watch my face, analyzing every tick to try and figure out how he makes me feel. He is the type to ramble during, calling me sweet pet names and calling me a good girl. My hips stutter at that.

“How does it feel?” He would ask, stopping when I refuse to answer.

“I feels good,” I admit to the empty room, “So good.”

“My sweet girl,” His lips would ghost down my neck. My hips are on autopilot, moving with my hand in a attempt to reach for my release. I need to finish this. Blood is pounding in my ears as I chase my high.

“Homelander,” I groan out without even thinking.

“Are you close?”

I nod eagerly, “I’m almost there, just a little more.”

“I thought you were going to be a good girl.”

I freeze. Shit. “But I’m so close!” I whine to no one but myself, “Please!”

“Be a good girl.”

I open my eyes, getting my grip on reality. He isn’t here, it’s just a voice in my head. The screens completely forgotten I look up and scan over them, jumping at what I see. He's there. Not here, but there on the screen, staring me down through the camera. I pull my hand away, my heart rate going faster than before as realize what this must mean. He can hear me.

Fuck! I am going to be in so much trouble. I expect him to zoom back to me and give me some kind of punishment but his meeting must not be over.

“I stopped,” I announce to the small room, unsure if I’m even right but his reaction tells me I am. His chest heaves with a sigh as he gives the camera one last solid glare before heading back into whatever room he had left to silently scold me. I’m fucking dead. I think to myself, sure that I’ve dug myself a hole that I will not be able to talk myself out of. How could I be so stupid? He hears everything. And I fucking know that too. What am I going to tell him? How am I going to explain that I went against the one rule he gave me? I can’t help but stress at what is to come. Another punishment is definitely coming, what is it going to be this time? I hold my injured hand to my chest.

A flash of movement on the screens pulls my attention back to it. Homelander is on the move, zipping through the halls, the meeting forgotten. He’s at the apartment door in seconds, unlocking it and rushing inside to get my door open. The hatch pops open and the intimidating man steps in, glowering down at me. I stare up at him with my best attempt at wide, innocent eyes.

He raises his brow at me, “Are you going explain yourself?”

Nothing comes out of my mouth for a second, I try to think of every possible lie I could tell, every excuse I could use but I can’t. He’ll know if I’m lying, I don’t know but somehow he’ll know and I’ll be worse off than I already am.

“I didn’t finish.”

“Excuse me?” He actually laughs, any hostility disappears. “Say that again.”

I clear my throat awkwardly, “I, um, I didn’t finish. I touched myself but I listened, I didn’t finish.” My eyes are focused on his unusually dirty boots, too ashamed to meet his eyes with that confession.

The blond man crouches down in front of me, his head cocked to the side to meet my eyes, “I know, I heard everything.”

I don’t know if he’s expecting a response but I don’t give him one.

“Natasha. Look at me, now.” My body responds without even think, following the command with even more shame. His gaze sets my face on fire, my blush undeniable with him this close. “What were you thinking about?”

“You said you could hear me,” I point out with a bit of sass.

“I could, but I want to hear you say it. In detail, what were you thinking about?”

I begrudgingly admit, “I was thinking about you.”

He takes a deep patient breath, “I am going to ask you one last time before I break another one of your fucking fingers.” His voice is dangerously low. Fear ripples through me at that promise. “Last chance sweet girl.”

“I was thinking about your fingers and what they would feel like.”

His brow is raised, asking me to continue.

“Would you be gentle or rough? Would you be inexperienced? Before, most men would have just taken what they wanted but you made sure I felt good too so I was thinking about what you might be like, you know, in bed.”

“Do you want to find out?”

“Not right now,” I answer. “Things are still so new. I’m still trying to get used to everything. So not right now, if that’s okay?”

He surprises me by pulling me into his embrace, “I told you my sweet girl, I will wait until you are ready.”

“Thank you,” I snuggle into his chest, thankful I will be making away with the rest of my fingers still intact. He kisses my head a few times.

“Would you like to finish what we started earlier? You can finally have that release.”

Before I can deny his offer, he is joining me on floor and pulling me into his lap. He moves so fast I can barely keep up, he has me where he wants me before I can even realize it. I’m cradled in his lap, one of his arms wraps around my shoulders to hold me still while his hand grips my chin and forces me to look at him. Without much of a choice I watch as he brings his free hand up to his mouth and pulls his glove off with his teeth. With his hand free he dives into my pants without another word. His eyes fixated on my face the whole time. His fingers are surprisingly warm against my skin, following the same path my own hand took. But he doesn’t waste time getting me ready over my underwear, his fingers slip under. We both gasp the moment his fingers glide across my slit. I’m embarrassingly wet from everything that’s happened today, my cheeks burning as I am unable to look him in the eyes, focusing on his lips instead.

“Is this because of me?” He questions, licking his lips.

I don’t answer. I can’t. All I can focus on is keeping myself from showing too much on my face. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. He does the same as I did, starting with small circular motions using two thick fingers. They’re gentle at first, venturing deeper here and there, becoming familiar with the most private parts of me.

His grip tightens on my chin, “Look at me Natasha. Your disobedience today is beginning to make me frustrated. I don’t know where this bout of confidence, that you think you can deny me anything, came from but it needs to end. If snapping another finger doesn’t seem to scare you, how about another week and a half alone? Would that remind you to be grateful to hear my voice? To have your voice heard?”

That takes all of my attention, I reach out grasping his face in my hands, “No! Please no!”

“Then be a good girl for me. I know you can be.” His voice softens, “I just want to make you feel good. If you don’t tell me what feels good, I won’t know, you need to talk to me.”

He’s right.

He’s just asking me to talk, to be honest, that’s not much. I can do that. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t. I’ll be good! I promise!”

He guides my head to rest on his shoulder before hooking the same arm around me, his hand coming to rest flat on my stomach. “When I ask you a question, you answer right away, honestly, understand?”

Staring up at him, I nod, “I understand.”

“Good girl, now tell me, how does this feel?” His fingers glide over my clit, barely giving me much.

“I couldn’t really feel it.”

“How about before? The circles, did you like that?”

I nod, “That’s what I do to myself.”

He chuckles, “You’ll have to give me a demonstration some time to show me exactly.” He goes back to the circles like before, gentle and steady. We are quiet for a moment while he works. Always watching me, waiting for something to happen. My breathing becomes heavier, hips flexing up on their own, asking for more than he is giving. In the silence all you can hear is his fingers moving in my folds, a wet squish that has my cheeks burning but I can’t look away from him. “Good?”

“Yes,” I breath, wanting nothing more than to just lay back and enjoy it but he won't stop talking.

"When was the last time you had a proper release? Did you do it yourself or was someone helping you?"

"It's been so long," I admit.

"Since what?" He questions, his fingers halting.

I groan at the loss, moving my hips to find his touch again.

"Since what? Since someone else touched you?" He's angry now, looking up at him, well actually I glare at him for the first time in awhile. Why does he care? Why does it matter? He literally has his hand down my pants and he thinks now is a good time to talk about past flings? This man is infuriating some times. But I know I can't ask him that, it wouldn't help anything to goad him.

So, I whine, "It was just feeling good."

"I asked you a question," He snarls.

"I don't want to think of anyone else right now! You are who I want!"

He pauses, looking away for the first time since he's been back. I gulp unsure if I tried too hard or if he is trying to see through my words. They aren't lies surprisingly and he should know that. I had the opportunity while he was gone to touch myself and think of anyone else but he's all that my mind could focus on. He's all I can ever think about anymore.

"Really?" His voice is small, almost nervous, something I've never heard from him. He looks back at me, "Do you really mean that?"

In this moment, I need to make a decision. I can either continue to be passive aggressive, making things even harder for myself. Or, I can finally accept how things are going to be. I won't be getting out of here alive. I can't escape from the man in front of me until he wants me to and I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm stuck with no where to go if I even if I can get out so whats the point? It's warm here, there's food and a bed, a nice bathroom, I have everything I could ever need. As for what I want, "Yes, daddy, please."

The room shifts as I am thrown on to my back, he quickly finds his way between my legs, his hands on my knees, prying my legs apart to make room for his hips. His length pressed against my private places once again, but this time he doesn't let me do anything. Just as quickly, hands run over my thighs to my hips, over my chest to find my own hands and lock them above my head.

"Wait, what's going on, I thought-" I attempt to question but he cuts me off with a hard jerk of his hips, forcing a moan out of my mouth.

"I am not doing any more than we've already done. I just," He takes a breath, chest heaving, "I just can't hold back right now. Call me that again."

Maybe I went too far, but there is no going back now.

I gulp, "Please daddy, be gentle with me."

He groans as he ruts against me, our faces inches apart, "Always baby, I would never hurt you." Those almost glowing blue eyes burn into me, waiting for my reactions. "My sweet girl." All of this at once is too intense for me. He takes over all of senses so I can see, feel, hear, and smell is him. Just him. After cooing a few more pet names at me I loose it, pulling him in close for a kiss. It takes a moment for him to catch on but when he does, he devoirs me. Kissing me as if his life depends on it.

He tastes like how he smells, only lacking the faint woodsy smell that always lingers on him, it’s clean and minty as if he was prepared for this exact situation. His hips don’t even stutter, the constant rhythm building something in me that is dying to be released. My thighs tighten around him, allowing my hips to meet his with more precision, so ready to cum. But of course, it only takes him a moment to notice my sudden vigor, his fingers tangle in my hair and pull our lips apart.

His chest is heaving as he growls, “I want to watch you fall apart.” My face and body are on fire with those words, I try to look anywhere other than him but his grip on my hair turns almost painful, adding to the tightness in the pit of my stomach. “You will look at me as you cum, do you understand? I am the one who made you feel like this. I am the one who is giving this to you. Only me, say it!”

Those fucking eyes are burning into me with an unending intensity and more emotions than I thought this man could even process. The most prominent one isn’t hunger, anger or excitement, it’s the desperation there. Begging me to answer his commands, to confirm the words out of his mouth. It’s almost pitiful.

I finally release my arms from around his neck, one of my hands comes up to caress his cheek as gently as possible, “Only you daddy.”

He cuts seconds later with a roar, I follow a second after, our eye contact never breaking. I’m forced to watch how his face contorts, his jaw clenched, but only for a moment before he pulls me back in for a kiss. Things are slower this time, less needy but it doesn’t lack any of the passion as before. I wrap my arms around his shoulder once more, letting him take his time exploring my mouth as if he is trying memorize it.

When he eventually pulls away, his features have already softened, everything shifting back into their usual places. He brushes a few curls out of my face before littering a dozen kisses all over my cheeks and forehead, “My perfect girl. So beautiful, just for me.”

With my fate now set by my own hand, I nod, smiling slightly, “All yours.”

A/N: I swear the others will be in the next two chapters! Please let me know what you thought!

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

I live for this💕😂

Too accurate

Would you be willing to do platonic yan!homelander vs platonic yan!butcher? Thank you 🥺

Yan!Homelander vs Yan!Butcher (platonic)

This isn't going to end well whatsoever.

Butcher is delusional except for the fact that he's somewhat aware but that doesn't take anything away from his behavior or actions whatsoever, if anything it fuels him all the more. He feels something, some sort of connection and pull to you and as much as it irritates and annoys him to no end he wouldn't change anything about it. His attachment to you keeps him going on some days, he knows he's gotta stick around for you after all. Especially when he finds out about Homelander's attachment to you too. There's no way in hell he's going to let that bastard have you. He's taken everything else from him, he won't take you too.

Unlike Butcher, Homelander is entirely delusional, he definitely feels entitled to your time and attention. Whatever you have to give he'll drink it all up until the last drop. He's extremely selfish and wants more and more, more then you could ever possibly give but he doesn't care. He'll take and take until there's nothing left and even then he'll still find a way to take whatever he can. His superiority complex definitely doesn't help with any of his behavior, only fueling his entitlement all the more.

Butcher and Homelander alread have beef with each other, adding their respective obsessions with you into the mix will only cause even more of a rift leading to an all out war. Neither of them will pull any punches in regards to you, why would they? They're both in this to win, whether that's to win you or just to win against one or the other then it doesn't really matter.

Whoever was obsessed with you first doesn't really matter, at the end of the day you have both of them on your tail and boy are they closing in on you. You're treated as more of a possession then an actual human being, and though Butcher is somewhat more human then Homelander that doesn't mean he's going to stick with treating you like that. You'll be treated as something fragile to Butcher, while to Homelander you'll be treated more roughly. He doesn't know how to be gentle not really. Butcher can be rough in his treatment too but he's aware enough in his actions towards you that he can tone himself done. But Homelander doesn't know how to do that, not by a longshot.

They both are highly and extremely manipulative, they have no problem making themselves out to be the victims in any situation, especially in regards to their beef with each other, and or making you feel guilty about not accepting either one of them.

They both will try to make the other look bad and that won't be hard for Butxher to do with Homelander, you'll probably be on his side once he's done telling you all he's got on Homelander. But that's not gonna sit well with Homelander, not one bit, and honestly there's nothing stopping him from just up and taking you away right here and right now. But he'd only be proving Butcher right in everything he's told you.

There's no way Homelander will let Butcher live and vice versa, they have no problem using The Boys and The Seven to achieve their endeavors, especially in regards to you.

Homelander Ending

He'll make damn sure that not only is Butcher dead but so are all The Boy's. He's not leaving any room for anyone to try and take you away. He'd tear apart the whole world just to make sure you stay with him.

Homelander will treat you like a trophy, not only had he won you for himself but also so Butcher could never have you, hence another reason behind why he killed him. Honestly, whether you liked Butcher or not you would have been better off with him.

Whatever remaining Seven members there are will be made to make sure you never run or that any harm never befalls you, unless it's from Homelander himself then they won't question anything.

You'll be at Homelander's side 24/7, he wants you at the end of his cape all the time, following close behind him. You're not only his trophy but also his little pet and he expects you to be well behaved and obedient. One step out of line and a punishment is surely in your future.

All autonomy you once had is completely stripped from you, you'll only be allowed to do what Homelander says you can do. You'll no longer have any freewill whatsoever.

As much as Homelander is terrible at taking care of another human being and being/acting human anyway, he still wants that family fantasy and or companionship that you're sole purpose is to provide for him. If any part of his delusions are shattered he'll have no problem lashing out at not only you but anyone else that so much as questions him in what he's trying to achieve from all of this.

You're his now and that's what matters at the end of the day. After all he won you, just not entirely fairly and squarely. But he doesn't care one way or another, he's got you and that's that.

Butcher Ending

Butcher's over the moon, not only did he win you but he also took down the same man who has haunted him for years. It may have costed him so much but who cares, he's go you know and he knows you'll be safe and taken care of now.

He'll actually treat you somewhat normally, actually letting you keep some of your usual hobbies and even a social life but it has to stay small and he has to know every single person within that circle. He may not like them but he'll let you keep them as long as he knows they haven't done anything that could endanger you in any way. But he may just get to a point where he'd go find your friends or whatever acquaintances you have and he'll threaten them to be good around you or if they're not then he'll just take some aggression out on them. You'll probably never see them again and Butcher has no problem with that, he won't lose any sleep over it.

Your life would be fairly normal with Billy, he doesn't ask a lot of you but that doesn't mean that the few things he does want from you aren't a lot in themselves. He primarily doesn't want you lying to or keeping anything from him, just be real with him and the outcome will be so much better then it could be otherwise. He does expect you to listen to him when he does tell you to do something and he never takes no for an answer. You do what he wants and there won't be a problem.

Whatever members of the Boys that are still around after Butcher and Homelander's all out war will become like family to you. They'll look out for you and make sure nothing goes awry, not with you concerned at least. They'll do Butcher's dirty work for him when it come to keeping an eye on you and getting information. They're his eyes and ears especially when it comes to you.

If Butcher has a problem with you're behavior or you doing something that just runs him the wrong way then he'll make sure you know and you will stop whatever it is. He's already pretty lenient with you as is but he can take that all away if you don't do what you're told. He's not going to tolerate any sort of unsavory behavior and actions from you.

As for punishments he'll either go for isolating you or hurting the people you care about, that's one reason he allows you to still be social so he can use that against you. Butcher has no problem taking you away from everything or rather taking everything from you, maybe then you'll finally learn to play along like you should.

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Annie: i'm cold

Hughie: here, take my jacket

Kimiko: *shows that she's cold too*

Frenchie: What? *takes off jacket* I told you to bring more layers, mon coeur, but of course you didn't listen and now *piles scarves on Kimiko* I have to make sure you don't freeze to death *takes somebody else's hat* how long have you been cold, ma viè, you should've said something sooner.

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Masterlist

Your Savior Is Here!

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6, Ch 7 

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Your Savior is Here! Ch 7

Homelander POV

"Fucking move."

It's been over 24 hours since I last laid eyes on my girl. She was so perfect yesterday morning, it almost felt like a dream for her to be that responsive. It took less time than I thought for her to start wanting to actually see me. She could be faking it again but after she escaped I've been pay extra close attention to her expressions and as far as I can see they seem genuine. When she is in the room alone she mostly just lays there but the moment I open that door she perks up. Hopefully she won't be upset with me for being gone so long.

"Homelander! Are you even listening to me anymore? You have a team to lead!" That fucking witch screeches at me.

I need to fucking kill her.

"I have been listening to you bitch since yesterday morning. I am going to my apartment, if you step in my way again I am going to throw you out of the fucking window, do you understand me?" I snarl in her face, stepping into her space to get my point across.

She tries to not act afraid, "You don't need to sleep so I don't see why you need to go back. Is that tramp still there?"

My body reacts on it's own, I feel my eyes glowing, "Watch that mouth of yours." The only thing keeping me from offing this bitch right now is that fact it will take too much time to deal with it. That's valuable time I could be with Natasha.

"Fine, but I'm coming to check on you in a bit. We have more things to discuss."

"If you so much as knock on my door within the next 24 hours I will stuff that disgusting baby of yours back where it came from." I give her my best threatening smile before walking around her and out of the door. I try to control myself but I end up basically flying through the halls to get to my door. The moment I'm outside I know something is wrong. I can hear her heart beat, it's going much faster than usual, her breathing is quick too. I look through the door to where the safe room is, shes in there curled up into a tight ball rocking back and forth. The door main door unlocks with a click, I'm at the next within a blink, popping that door open and rushing inside.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Pours out of her mouth in barley made out blubbers. Her fingers are tangled in her curls as if something is in there. "Daddy! I'm sorry! Daddy!" That's it. I snatch her up into my arms, holding her as much for myself as it is for her. I guide her head to rest on my chest, calming myself, hoping my steady heart beat will do the same for her.

"It's okay sweet girl. Daddy is right here, I've got you," The words are out without me even thinking but it just feels so right. I rock her there, mumbling kind words into hair. Her arms curl around my neck, securing herself around me with her legs wrapping around my waist. It's a wonderful feeling to have her there, not a single centimeter in between us.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave me again. I'll be good, I promise! Please don't leave!"

I shush her, "I'm not going anywhere. I didn't mean to be gone for so long, I'm sorry baby. You must be starving since I couldn't bring you dinner. Would you like some breakfast?"

She shakes her head," No thank you." So polite, I could groan with pleasure at the sweetness in her voice. "Could I just stay right here?"

Her grip on me tightens.

"For as long as you want," I promise as I kiss the top of her head. "But we should move to somewhere more comfortable."

"If we have to," She mumbles. She begins to move away from me.

"Oh no sweet girl, you don't need to do anything. Just keep holding on," And she does as I stand us up and carry her out of that room. The apartment is in a state of disarray right now and I want nothing more than to clean everything up back to it's pristine condition but for now, my sweet girl is my main concern. Picking up the comforter off the floor I carry us to the bed where I rest up against the head board, her straddling my lap. I pull the covers over her, she seems to welcome the extra warmth and cuddles in closer.

I haven't been exactly sure on what I wanted from this, the perfect picture never appeared in my head but this is it now. Natasha so desperate for attention that she picks me over her basic needs, food and water forgotten just for me to hold her. Just. It's never just anything with her. My whole life was spent in a cold box until I was good enough to come out, I know what that isolation can do to you. I didn't want her to have to experience the same coldness that I felt but if this is the outcome, I can get over my guilt of putting her through it. She just needed time to realize that she doesn't have to do it all on her own, I'm here for her now. All she needs to do is be happy with me.

........

Natasha POV

I somehow managed to fall asleep. After one of my most intense panic attacks in the last year I managed to not injure myself, that's a feat on its own. The fact that I was able to calm down sober is another. Flashbacks like that happen far and in between and usually what drove me back to the needle. Out of habit I rub the inner side of my arm without thinking, forcing me to realize there is no longer anyone held in my embrace. Homelander is gone.

I scramble around, attempting to get my bearings and figure out where even am I anymore. I don’t want to be back in that room! Where is Homelander? Where is he? He promised me he wouldn’t leave again! He promised!

“Homelander!” I cry, unable to stop tears from streaming down my face, panic already gripping my chest.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m right here,” Bare hands cup my face, soft lips press against my forehead. “Daddy’s got you.”

There that word is again. He had said in the room as he held me, daddy is right here. It doesn’t necessarily sound wrong coming from him, it almost seems like an insult at first. My dad was never like this, I don’t know if he was even capable of such gentle actions.

My hands reach out for him, finding his hands on my jaw, following his arms to his chest. His suit is slick under my fingers, he’s in uniform, I realize. I’m sure he looks so handsome, I want to see him but it’s too dark. Where are we? I’m on my knees on something soft, I’m basically sinking into it. It’s the bed. I’m in the apartment, but why can’t I see anything.

Homelander must sense my panic like he always does, “Open your eyes sweet girl.”

I do.

The room is too bright for me. All I can see is his face for a moment in all of his glory. It feels as if I am seeing him for the first time, his lips form a brilliant smile that literally blinds me. I lean forward, resting my head on his chest with my hands, closing my eyes to go back into the darkness for a moment knowing this time that I am not in that room. I’m safe right next to him.

“Is something wrong?” He wonders, his arms wrap around me like a weighted blanket, grounding me in this moment.

“Too bright.”

He tsks, “Of course baby, I’m so sorry! Close the blinds!” He commands, followed by the soft patter of foot steps across the floor. There is someone else in here. “You can all go.” There are multiple people in here apparently. I wait to hear the door close before attempting to move at all. “You can look now if you want.”

With a deep breath I obey, opening my eyes, staring at his chest. My hands are there, I can feel the steady beat of his heart beneath my right head. I look up, finding him staring at me, of course, his eyes are so blue and so soft. Crinkling at the sides as he smile widens.

“You’re staring,” He informs me smugly.

“Well,” I hum in return, “You gave me permission to look as much as I like.”

He chuckles, “That I did! My girl is so smart!” His face comes closer, our foreheads pressed together for just a second before he pulls away. “Oh yes! I mustn’t forget you need some breakfast. Come on,” he gently tugs me off the bed, both of us expecting my legs to catch me but when they don’t, Homelander does. “Woah there, is something wrong?”

“I haven’t been walking since I’ve been in there. It’ll just take me a minute to get going.”

He doesn’t wait, he just scoops me up with ease, “We will have to add that to our to do list today.”

“To do list?”

“Yes! First on that list is to get you something to eat, we will go from there depending on how you are feeling.”

I just nod as he carries me through the apartment to the kitchen where he places me on one of the stools. Much like my first day there, there is a sliver plate cover sitting in front of me and another in front of him. He takes the stool next me, making sure to scoot it closer so our arms are touching. His warmth soaks through my sweatshirt, I attempt to get closer, barely shuffling my chair despite my efforts.

“Need some help?” Homelander questions, as if he can’t see my struggle. He does like to tease.

“Yes please.”

He gets rid of any space between us, our chairs bumping together as each of us adjusts, it’s silly I know, I just want to be closer. This need is a foreign feeling, it sits in my chest like a little monster, taking control of my appendages and moving me without my consent. I know better than this. He is the one who put me in that fucking box, I shouldn’t be sitting here with him, basking in his attention. It’s either here or back in that box. Yes he put me in there but I deserved it for how I was acting. Be good. The voice in my head is all mine but those words are not.What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Hello in there?” A gloved hand goes in front of my face for a moment, “Aren’t you hungry?”

That’s when it hits me, my eyes shift down to the now uncovered plate in front of me. There are scrambled eggs, toast, strawberries and even bacon. From the way he smiles I’m sure I’m beaming myself. I reach for my fork but pull my hand back right away, shifting my eyes back up to him for permission.

“Go ahead!” He urges me, waiting for me to pick up my own fork before going for his. I scoop up a few pieces of eggs and shove them into my mouth eagerly. A moan escapes me without realizing it until Homelander starts chuckling, “Good?”

I nod as I shovel another bite into my mouth.

“Don’t eat too fast sweet girl, don’t want to upset your stomach.”

With a bit of self control I force myself to slow down, chewing slower and making sure I’m done with what’s in my mouth before getting more. He watches me eat, eyes fixated on my mouth, just like last time. That thought makes me freeze. I shouldn’t question it, and I know that but I can’t move past it.

I place my fork back on my plate as I look up at him, “Homelander?”

“Yes?” He mimics my actions.

“Can I ask you a question, or two?”

“You can ask, I can’t guarantee I will answer.”

I could have guessed that but I push my worries away, “Why did you start acting weird last time you brought me food?”

He hesitates, chewing on his bottom lip as he tosses around possible answers in his head, “I was exercising restraint.”

“Exercising restraint? What were you restraining yourself from?” I think back to that room, to that moment, nothing was happening that could have made him mad. Did I do something rude? I was saying please and thank you, I made it clear I was grateful for the food, I obeyed and opened my mouth… “Oh.”

“Yes,” Even just thinking back to the moment has him adjusting himself in his suit. He got hard, a bashful glance down allows me to see that he is hard now. I should be absolutely disgusted. What kind of grown man gets excited from just seeing a girl open her mouth for food? But Homelander has made it pretty clear he doesn’t get girls often, at least he doesn’t bring them home to do it often. And he must have a high libido being super everything, he has also made it very clear that he is attracted to me, even told me he wants me, it makes sense. I’m sure his stamina is unrelenting, he could probably go for hours, hell he could probably go for days.

My thighs press together at just the thought. It’s been far too long since I’ve had a good round or two, I don’t need this on my mind. I need to get adjusted to my living situation before I get into bed with him. Before? I shouldn’t be getting in bed with him at all! This is insane, I should be thinking of my next escape! I need to get my head straight! My hands come up to my head in fists, knocking myself in the head a few times hoping to knock some sense into myself. A few hard hits should get me back.

He catches my hands, “Woah, woah, woah, there sweet girl. What’s wrong?” He brings my hand to rest on his chest, flattening them out so I can feel his suit on my finger tips. My head follows behind, “I’m right here, you are okay, no one is going to hurt you. Tell me what's wrong sweet girl."

I shouldn't say anything, I should lie and say everything is fine but my mouth starts moving on it's own, "I'm so confused."

"Confused? About what?"

"Part of me wants to run," I admit against my better judgement.

He tenses, "What?"

"You put me in that box. You broke my hand. You are the bad guy. I should want to leave but then you do things like this and I feel guilty for even considering it. If any other man saw me when I was so vunrble they would have taken advantage of the opprotunity, but you, you closed the door and calmed down. It's common decentcy so why do I feel like I should be thanking you. I want to be mad, reeally but there is a voice in my head telling me to be grateful because you are right, I did need help because if that had happened to me on the street I would have gone back to the needle. I just don't know what's going on in my head cause I don't want you to be right!" By now tears are streaming down my cheeks and I'm sure everything coming out of my mouth is being turnered into blubbering.

I expect him to be mad, he should be mad at me for being so ungrateful but instead he reaches out and pulls me in close for the second time this morning. He shushes me so softly and sweetly it makes my guilt burn deeper.

"Aren't you mad?" I cry into his chest, wrapping my arms around him as if I didn't just hurl insult after insult at him.

He kisses the top of my head, "I'm absolutly fumming. But not at you my sweet girl, it's not your fault. You just never learned how to accept love from someone so I understand this is going to be hard for you to get use to. I can be patient. Thank you for being so honest with me, I'm sure it was hard for you." He places a few more kisses on my head, whispering praise in between each one, "You are such a good girl."

It shouldn't feel this good to hear that. I'm sure it's from deep rooted parental issues but that doesn't change anything, my heart flutters in my chest in such a warm embrace, "Thank you," I mumble softly.

"For what?"

"For not taking advantage of me. I don't think I would have been able to stop you."

"The first time we decide to do anything like that, you will be wanting it, not a moment before, do you understand?"

I nod.

"Daddy's got you."

I pull away for a moment to look at him properly, "You shouldn't call yourself that."

He cocks his head, eyes narrowing slightly, "Why not?"

"You are nothing like my dad, it's honestly an insult to yourself to even assosiacte with that man. He was a-" I barely catch myself, I cover my mouth to keep the word from slipping out.

"He was bastard," He finishes for me.

"Yea."

"Well, I shall change the definition of that word for you. I will wash away all of those bad memories and make sure you understand what a daddy really is."

"Okay."

"Now, finish your breakfast and then we need to get you in the bath again."

"Okay," I finally let him go so I can return to my food, stopping again to ask a question, "Do you have to work today? You are still wearing your uniform."

"No, I am all done for the next 24 hours. You have my full attention all day."

"Can I ask you another question?"

He chuckles, "At least take a few bite of your food first." I obey, eating a few bites of eggs, and a whole bacon slice. I look up at him to see if he is satisfied, the smile on his face tells me he is. "Your question?"

"You said you were going to come back yesterday for dinner, but you didn't, why?"

"Stillwell had me jumping through hoops all night until I finally put my foot down at left. I'm sorry I was gone for so long, are you upset with me?"

I shake my head, "No, but of course it was that bitch's fault." As oon as the word i out of my mouth my eyes widen in a panic as my hand slaps over my mouth. "I'm so sorry! it just slipped out!"

"It's okay, I'll let it slide because it is her, she is a bitch."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"You don't need to be tense. Now finish your food so we can get you cleaned up." We eat in silence, only exchanging sly looks here and there, it's almost weird how normal I feel with him. With a few words he wiped my conflicting feeling away, his offer to change the definition of that word is in my head as both a threat and promise that I don't know if I should be looking forward to. When we are both done, he scoops me back up in his arms to carry me to the bathroom where he gives me a moment of privacy to take care of my business. He comes back in, turning on the bath water as he goes, moving to the closet next only to come back with a small shower caddy filled with bottles.

“What is that?” I ask from where he has me perched on the bathroom vanity.

“Well you were,” He hesitates, “thinking about your behavior I got the proper hair supplies for you curls. Can’t have them getting ruined under my watch.” I chuckle to myself, confused on how such a narcissistic can be so considerate at the same time. He add scent less bubble soap to the water, moving around the bathroom like he’s done this a thousand times. Realizing that my eyes are following him, he gives me explanation without me even asking for it, “I’ve been preparing myself for when you were ready to listen. When I couldn’t be focused on my work and I couldn’t do anything with you, I got ready for you. Did my research on what you would need, things we could do together, everything. It was the only thing that kept me from burning this world to the ground.”

I raise my brows at that.

“Now that I’ve taken care of you, that’s all I want to do. I could watch you just lay there for hours and be more satisfied than I have been my whole life. I did do exactly that.”

I think back to him bringing me out of that box, the next of blankets on the floor, “You laid with me,” I realize.

He nods, “It would have been perfect if that wall wasn’t in the way. It’s as if you knew how to match my position perfectly, if I shifted, you shifted, if I scooted closer, you cuddled closer to the wall.” He takes a deep breath as he remembers it so fondly. I wish I could think of it the same way. I don’t want to think of it at all, I need to focus on something else, anything else. “The tub is just about full, do you want to climb in?”

“Yea, could you turn around, please?”

Homelander all but preens at my polite tone, “Of course, how can I say no when you ask so kindly?” He obliges me and turns to look out into the apartment. I pull off the sweatshirt and t-shirt I’ve been wearing for far too long before daring to remove my pants. I consider asking Homelander for help but that’s too much too soon, this I can do on my own even if it’s a little difficult. Using my balance I manage to shimmy my pants down, throwing them into the forming pile of stinking clothes. With that done, I work towards the hard part, actually getting into the bath without collapsing. “Do you need help?” He asks, reading my mind once again, how does he do that?

“I’m still feeling shy,” I tell him as he turns around, I cross my legs and cover my chest, expecting him to take full advantage. But of course I am wrong, his eyes are closed tight, he shuffles closer, his arms out looking for me. “You can see through your eyelids, can’t you?”

“Only when I want to. Do you not trust me?”

I sigh, reaching out for his hand, “I trust you. Can you give me your other hand?” He offers me his whole self, becoming my personal arm rail for a moment.

“I could just carry you.”

“I need to be able to walk, I can’t have you carrying me around everywhere.”

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“But I would. I need at least a small part of my independence Homelander.”

That forces him to give in, “Of course, my sweet girl. Now don’t slip when you get up.”

I slip off the counter, barely catching myself on his arm, but I manage not to fall. I feel like a new born deer with the way my legs tremble. A chuckle escapes me as I take my first few steps.

“What is so funny?” He wonders with a matching smile.

“I’m so happy you have your eyes closed, this is embarrassing enough by myself, I’m thankful to not also have an audience.”

“You are making me regret closing my eyes.”

“Don’t you dare go back on your promise!” I warn, stopping to look up at him. We are standing toe to toe, only a couple more steps to the tub but I take this moment to stare, without him staring back.

He is quiet for a moment, his head shifts down as if he is staring right at me, he takes a deep breath in and smiles, “Are you enjoying the view?”

I scoff, “I’m just taking a break.”

“You are doing such a good job,” The arm I had been holding comes to wrap around me in a tight hug. His hand doesn’t wander, it finds it’s place on my waist and that is all before pulling away. “Okay, you can finish.” So I do. I shuffle on wobbly legs until I reach the step up, I push off Homelander to get a big enough boost to move myself up. I throw a leg into he tub, the rest of me follows quickly behind, splashing slightly. His eyes snap open and his eyebrows are in his hair line, “Making a mess are we?”

“It was an accident.”

He chuckles, “Sure it was. Now do you want me to wash you up first or last?”

“First or last?”

“Yes, you aren’t the only one who needs to clean up. I am getting in the shower, would you like to clean up now or after?”

I toss the idea around in my head, “After.”

“Alright, you enjoy your soak for a while,” He turns away for a moment, “Just to let you know, you don’t have to look away if you don’t want to.” The last word out of his mouth is followed by the very obvious sound of the top button of his suit popping open. My eyes suddenly find the ceiling incredibly interesting. He just chuckles as he continues taking off his suit, making it very obvious that he is taking his sweet time and putting on show. He’s trying to set a mood and I will not fall for it, we are taking baby steps into this whole thing. As tempting as it might be, don’t look, I’m going to sign myself up for so much more trouble even trying to catch a glance. I don’t need a glance, I already know what it looks like, my curiosity should be beyond satisfied but it’s not, my eyes start to move down from the ceiling.

I’m saved by the bell, there is a knock on the door. My eyes move to the apartment, then to a very pissed off Homelander. Any playfulness is ripped away, in it’s place is a glare I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. There is no way I can make it to the door to keep whosever on the other side from having their eyes melted by lasers, they are absolutely fucked. He snaps his buttons back in place and charges out of the bathroom and zooms to the door. I hear the lock click and the door open, I expect screams or something but there are just whispers for a moment.

“I want to see her,” A soft voice snarls, sounding as scary as I’m sure it can manage.

Homelander all but growls in return, “This is none of your fucking business firefly.”

It’s Starlight! What the hell is she doing here? Is she trying to die?

“You keep saying that she’s in here,” The stupid girl continues, “But I haven’t seen a trace of her this building. What did you do with her Homelander?”

“Keep those hands where I can see them!”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, “Homelander, don’t do anything to her!” I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done that. It’s already too late, “I’m fine Starlight, you can go!”

There is the sound of shuffling feet, Starlight is suddenly standing in the bathroom doorway, her eyes wide with surprise but I see the worry there. Her eyes scan over me, well what she can see of me sticking out of the tub, which consists of my head and my arms that are resting on the edge. She takes two more steps toward me before Homelander cuts her off, blocking me from her view.

“As you can see, she is perfectly fine. Now get the fuck out before I make you,” I can only imagine the menacing look on his face that has the female hero taking a step back.

“Don’t be such a grump,” I attempt to sound playful but we can all hear how my voice trembles. I reach out just enough to grab the hem of his cape, just like last time I tug on it. “I was in a good mood, don’t ruin it with causing a scene.”

He looks back at me, eyes as soft as ever, pleading with me, “She is the one who is ruining everything! No one else is supposed to be here, it’s just you and me.”

“And it will be. Starlight was just coming to check on me, to make sure I’m okay, that’s really nice of her actually,” I try to reason with him, keeping my own eyes wide with innocences. “Now that she knows I’m okay, she’ll be heading out, right Starlight?” I look past him, “Right?”

She is staring at me, obviously confused but I don’t know how to explain this to her with him here, “Are you really okay?”

I nod, “We just had breakfast and now it’s time for a much needed bath, so if you don’t mind,” I wave her towards the door. “You can stop by another time when Homelander didn’t just get off work. He is crabby when he first gets back.”

“She can?” Homelander scoffs, but with a firm tug on his cape he is focused back on me.

“She can,” I reassure. “I’ll be here for a long time right? It’s only fair that I meet your teammates. But like I said, not right now.”

She finally gets the hint and nods along with me, “I’m sorry for intruding. I’ll get out of your way, I will see you around, um-“

“Natasha,” I offer.

“Natasha,” Her smile is so small I barely see it as she turns and rushes out of the apartment.

“I don’t like her,” He informs me, coming to sit at the edge of the tub.

“Why not? You should want us to become friends, it will give me another reason to stay here.”

He leans over me, his head cocked to the side, “I want to be your only reason for even existing. I don’t need her help.”

“Even God needs help sometimes.” I remind him, feeling much too brave.

With a deep breath he pulls away, considering my words, “We will see.”

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

🥺🥺

THE BOYS | 2x01 - “The Big Ride”

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Your Savior is Here! Ch 6

TW:Mentions of child abuse, thoughts of suicide, alcoholism, and Stockholm syndrome

I’m not sure how long has passed. I felt my way around the small room a few times now to map in out in my head. The room can’t be more than five by six feet, the cold metal covers every inch of this god damn cell, except for one of the walls that has six monitors on it. I found a toilet in the corner, making me figure this must be some kind of panic room that only Homelander can access. That or it’s a hostage room where he keeps the women he kidnaps, where the last woman like me died.

I slam my head against the wall. Holy fucking shit, what the fuck did I get myself into? I sink to the floor, doing the math on how I could get out of here without dying, but nothing adds up. He can’t really leave me in here for long, can he?

I can do whatever the fuck it want.

His voice rings in my ears. He’s the Homelander, of course he can. And all I can do is sit here and take it. Fine, if he wants to play this game, I can play it too.

Being alone isn’t so bad. I’ve been on my own my whole life, I’ve starved for days, I’ve been reduced to drink water from ungodly places. At least it’s decently warm in here. My clothes don’t reek and there is a decent place to go to the bathroom. The only things I need now are food and light and this place would be a paradise.

I chuckle to myself, I can do this.

I make myself comfortable in one of the corners, I curl into a ball with my back pressed firmly into the wall, making sure that bastard can’t sneak up on me. My arms wrap around me, offering the only comfort I’ll be getting for probably the rest of my life. Closing my eyes my head drops back to rest against the wall, my mind drifts to other places without anything to focus on. An unwanted memory is the first thing to pop into my head of course. I’m back in my childhood bedroom, crouched in the closet hoping no one will find me. The memory is vividly clear, the crack underneath that door that would never fully latched, the small amount of light allowed me to see the few clothes hanging above me. I feel as if I could reach out and touch them. But I kept my hands tucked by my sides and hold on tighter, I can’t let them find me.

I pinch myself.

It’s been at most half of a day and I’m already digging into old trauma I don’t want to deal with. It’s all my father’s fault, I decide. If he hadn’t been a dick my whole childhood I wouldn’t have ended up on the streets, if I wouldn’t have ended up on the streets I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be normal. I would have a job and maybe my own apartment by now, I would be so much better. But I’ve never been given a fair hand in life and I shouldn’t expect anything from it other than to fuck me over. This is a whole other level of fucked up though. What makes it worse is that this is one of the better set ups I’ve had. This apartment is nothing like that dump I grew up in but a small room with no light and no food is something I’m very familiar with. No one can get me here though, the only person who can, put me in here so I doubt he’ll be busting in anytime soon. He wants me to reflect and become a good girl.When is this dude going to realize I’m not what he is looking for? I’m sure there are thousands of women that would love to be dotted on by him.

I don’t want anyone else! I want you! Sure he does.

He is a sociopath with a God complex, he isn’t capable of any kind of emotion. All he wants is to convince me that he is as great and amazing as the rest of the world thinks he is and after that I will be tossed away because I will have become what he hates. People that want him to save them. I shake my head, he doesn’t make any sense. Even with all of the conversations we had since I’ve been here I really don’t know much about him.

One thing I do know about him is that he hates that lady. I discard my previous thoughts of minding my own business this morning, I want nothing to do with my own baggage so I’ll focus on his. That lady seems so confident with the way she treats him, like she knows she can get away with anything. His reaction yesterday made it very clear he’s not afraid to go after her, he didn’t kill her or break any of her bones but she looked surprised, and terrified. I can’t help but chuckle to myself, condescending bitch got what she deserved. But what’s their relationship? She can be at most 15 years older than him, maybe they dated?

Impossible.

Homelander doesn’t seem like the type to date normally. Well, I consider, maybe that lady isn’t anymore normal than he is. It would explain why she was so quick to get rid of me, they must have ended on bad terms. It seems like a pretty fresh wound, am I his rebound or something?

I need to focus on something else, anything else, his baggage is giving me another wave of anxiety that I don’t need. But there isn’t anything else to distract me right now. All I have is the pain in my hand, my childhood trauma, and Homelander to focus on. That’s one thing I’m going to have to get used to, the silence of this cell. Without the background noise of the city, all I can hear is the pounding of blood in my ears. I never thought I would miss the sound of shuffling feet and traffic throughout the whole day. I’m used to a lot of things but silence isn’t one of them, being alone sure, I’ve spent more time on my own than anyone my age should but there has always been something going on, someone talking.

This is something new.

I find myself wondering why he chose this as my punishment. He could have broken my hand, done any of the other sick things in his head, but he decided to leave me alone. You think you are fine on your own until you experience real loneliness. Sounded as if he was speaking from his own experiences but how can someone like him understand that. He’s the Homelander. People would kill for his attention, for just a moment of his time, he must have been talking out his ass.

But you can’t be surrounded by hundreds of people and still feel alone, can you?

I shake my head, no, no, Homelander has no idea what really loneliness is like! To have every person in your life fuck you over in every single way possible and still have the fucking audacity to come back asking for more. Fuck him!

I bury hold the heels on my hands to my eyes, willing away the tears that I know are coming. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This isn’t supposed to be happening! I really thought that I was done, that I had settled whatever karma I inflicted on myself in a past life and I was free to just live my life but apparently not. Who the fuck did I kill in my past life to deserve the shitty life I have?

 ——————————-

Homelander POV

It’s only been a day. She’s been curled up into a ball on the floor for most of the time. I had watched her wander the room at first, figured out her surroundings quickly and made herself comfortable. Her heart rate has been going up and down, the only thing out of her mouth has been a curse here and there. I sit on the other side of the wall watching her just to make sure she doesn’t try hurting herself. She is cradling her injured hand gently to her chest, it must still be hurting.

I don’t like the feeling that settles in my chest. It’s not one I’ve felt many times but I know it, guilt. I want to rip the door open and give her all of my love but I hold myself back. She needs this, she needs to learn that she can’t run from me, she needs to learn that she needs me!

When I saw her in the elevator, so ready to run away from me I don’t know what came over me. All I saw was red. How could she just leave me?

It’s that bitch’s fault! My hands curl into tight fists, how could I have been so stupid? Madelyn distracted me so she could kick Natasha out, if I hadn’t left none of this would have happened. We would probably be curled up in bed right now, or cuddled up on the couch watching whatever she wants while I just hold her. I find myself leaning against the wall, slowly finding my way to the ground, laying on my side so I can watch her. She is curled up so perfectly, I could wrap myself around her and keep the whole world away from her. I’m the only one she needs. She’ll realize that soon enough.

But patience has never been my strong suit.

——————————-

Natasha’s POV

It’s been awhile. I don’t know exactly how long but I’m hungry and I can’t convince myself to sleep anymore but I continue to lay there with my eyes closed. Staring into the darkness does something to my mind. This whole place is messing with me, I begin to understand Homelander’s reasoning behind locking me in here. Despite everything that has happened in the last few days I wouldn’t mind seeing his smile.

Gross.

He must be hiding his ability to read minds from the world, it’s as if just the thought of him summons him to me. The door opens and he is standing there holding a tray. I thankfully picked the far war to sleep against, so we are face to face when he comes in. He doesn’t seem as put together as he usually is, his hair is ruffled more as if he has been running his hand through it there are bags forming under his eyes. He looks stressed. Am I the reason why? That idea is quickly shaken off, he wouldn’t damage his looks because of me. We are matching once again, sweatpants and t-shirt, he pulls it off much better than I do. What the fuck is wrong with me? These thoughts need to stop. It’s obvious he’s good looking I don’t need to keep pointing it out to myself! My brain disagrees, it feels the need to scan over him fully, appreciating the way the light of the apartment outlines his hulking figure that is taking up most of the doorway.

The light.

I look past him, not even thinking to take this opportunity to see what time of day it is. Sun is pouring in from the windows, that seems to be the only light in the apartment. There isn’t any noise coming in from outside or anything playing inside. Is he just sitting in the dark? Did he just get home? Can I please think of anything other than him for five second? Fuck! It’s hard to when he is all that I can see right now.

He takes a step into the room, lays the tray down and backs away to the doorway. On the tray there is the same meal from my first day here, chicken broth and a small piece of bread. A large cup of water is next to it, without a care I snatch it up and down as much of it as I can before Homelander is there taking it away from me. I had managed to drink most of it thankfully, I look away from the man with a bit of embarrassment about my desperation. He’s going to be mad, he is probably expecting a thank you first or maybe his prize from our bet days ago, but he doesn’t lash out at me. It’s weird having someone look at me the way he does. There is a small smile on his face as he wipes the corner of my mouth with his thumb, getting rid of the few drops that missed my mouth.

“You need to drink slowly otherwise you’ll get a stomachache,” He informs me as he sets the cup back down on to the tray. His voice is music to my ears, barely above a whisper but it echos off the walls. It drives me insane how his words offer me any kind of comfort, he’s the reason I’m in here, that I haven’t heard anything for what feels like forever. “Have some of the broth,” Bare hands bring the soup bowl up, one hand has a spoon scooping up a bit of the broth and puts it to my lips. Look on his face is so soft I almost feel guilty, almost. My anger hits a boiling point, does he really think he can just lock me in here then come back in like everything is fine?

“I don’t need you to fucking feed me," I snarl, looking away towards the corner. It’s weird hearing my voice, I don’t sound like myself.

He drops the spoon into the bowl, taking a deep breath he uses his free hand to grab my chin and forces me to look at him. "Do you want to fucking eat or not?"

"Fuck you."

The soup goes back on to the tray, he picks it up before turning around and slaming the door shut again, leaving me in the dark still starving. I shouldn't have done that. My stomach groans. Nausua washes over me, I'm such an idiot. I want to bang my head against the wall as regret settles in my empty stomach, all I had to do was sit there and let him feed me but my pride got in the way.

Fuck me.

I rub my face, taking deep measured breaths so I don’t freak out. It’s fine, it’s fine, he will be back. I just need to make sure I don’t curse at him again, I need something to eat. I need out of here before I go insane and from my reaction to Homelander I don’t think I have much time left. No one talks to The Homelander like that and lives to tell the tale, what the fuck is wrong with me?

—————————-

I'm not ready for the next time he comes in. It feels as if weeks have gone by but I'm sure it has only been a few days. The door pops open, waking me from my hazy nap, and blinding me as light pours in. He steps into the doorway less confident than last time but he still manages to look intimidating in full uniform. With a deep breath he sets the tray down in front of me, bending down enough for me to look past him to the apartment for just a moment. The room that was beyond neat how ever many days ago, is now in a state of disarray that is unbecoming of the worlds greatest hero. The couch is lying on its' back, the chairs in the living room are out of place. What attracts my attention the most is the bundle of bedding that is on the floor in front of the panic room door.

He stands up straight, our eyes lock for just a moment before I look down at the plate. Eggs, toast, and strawberries are there, looking absolutely delicious. I feel tempted to just go for the water again but I hold myself back and look back up at him. He's staring, of course, he attempts to give me, what I am sure is supposed to be, a soft smile but it only comes across as slightly terrifying and maybe a little charming.

"Good morning," His voice is music to my ears. So soft, as if he is speaking to a frightened animal.

Morning, it's morning, the tray in front of me makes sense now. Another day has past and I wonder how many I've missed and will continue to do so. That depends on how I act right now, I remind myself. I could throw a fit again but all that would get me is the door slammed in my face and it's not as if he's done something awful, just brought me breakfast. It's actually kind of sweet of him.

"Morning," I offer in return, his widening smile tells me I've made the right decision. Like before my voice is rough, a lack of use and water will do that to you I guess. But it feels nice to talk, to hear his voice and have mine heard.

He chuckles as he runs his hand through his ruffled hair, "Wow, I wasn't expecting an actual response."

I cock my head, "What were you expecting?"

"Nothing," Homelander seems almost giddy, "Never mind that, I'm just happy to hear your voice."

I answer without thinking, “And I’m happy to hear yours.”

His eyes light up like the Fourth of July, “Really?”

“Yea,” I consider lying but he wouldn’t like that.

“Are you hungry?” The man asks as if he can’t hear my stomach growl.

“Starving.”

Neither of us move. I don’t know if I’m allowed to feed myself after last time. He notices my hesitation and chuckles again as he joins me on the floor, sitting cross legged on the other side of the tray. With trembling hands he uses a fork to scoop up a small amount of scrambled eggs into my mouth. Even though part of me burns with embarrassment I let him feed me, if this is all it takes for me to get some food I can deal with it. The moment the food touches my tongue I can’t help but moan.

“Good?”

I nod eagerly, scooting as close as I can for another bite. He obliges to my request and feeds me three more bites before pausing. My eyes go from the plate to him and back again, confused why he stopped. Did I do something wrong? Panic manages to fill me to the brim within that ten second pause. I fucked up. He's going to slam the door and leave me in the dark again! I don't want to be alone!

He calms my anxiety with a simple question, “Do you want a bite of the strawberries?”

I should have some form of self control but it goes out the window at the offer, “Yes please!” I should know better, he wouldn't leave without me giving him a reason.

He smiles to himself as he offers me the brightly colored fruit, as I lean forward he eagerly shoves it in my mouth. It has been forever since I’ve had something like this. Fresh food isn’t something I stumble upon regularly, fresh fruit even less. I close my lips around the fork, I could scream with joy at the taste. Homelander pulls the fork away slowly, his eyes fixated on my mouth as my lips move. His breathing stops for a moment when my tongue darts out to clean my lips. I sigh, beyond satisfied with just that but I remember there is more on the plate. Ready for more I open my mouth wide and even say ah.

He drops the fork. I’ve never thought about what he would look like when he was scared but the image will be engraved in my brain. His eyes are wide, he takes a sharp intake of breath before stumbling to his feet and back into the doorway.

Where is he going?

"Wait!"

"Stay right there," He commands in a voice that is not to be questioned.

I obey, grounded in my spot.

He takes a deep breath, "I am going to leave this door open for 15 minutes. You are going to eat your breakfast then put the tray in the doorway, do understand?"

I want to ask why, what could I have done wrong to make him act like this but I don't, "I understand."

"Good girl. I'll be right out here, you won't try anything will you?"

"No."

With my promise he rushes out of the room. I should be happy. I can eat on my own like the adult that I am but I find myself hesitating. He gave me 15 minutes to eat, I remind myself, I need to eat. My trembling hand reaches for the fork, slowly scooping up food to feed myself. I keep at the pace he had been feeding me, taking a break here and there to take small gulps of water. The toast is soggy but I can't get myself to care, thankful to have anything in my stomach right now. I clean the plate in less than 15 minutes, making sure to finish my water too. On my hands and knees, I shove the tray into the doorway like he told me before sitting back on my heels. During my isolation I haven't walked around since the first day. My legs feels so heavy and tired from just that much, I don't even think I could run if I tried, not that I would. I couldn't get very far even if I was at my full strength.

I shake my head. Thoughts like that are what got me in here, there is no way I could ever get away from Homelander, I can't believe I was stupid enough to try. I can do what he asks of me, I can be good if means getting out of here.

Homelander appears in the doorway again. He picks up the tray and reaches out for the door to close it, "Homelander!" He pauses and gives me a hard look I don't think I deserve, under his stare I can't get myself to question why he is doing what he is doing. It could get him even more upset and I don't want to push my luck. "Are you working today? You're in uniform," I point out stupidly.

He nods, "I'll be gone all day."

"Oh," My genuine disappointment shows on my face before looking down into my lap, I'll be in here alone all day again.

"I'll be back for dinner."

My head pops, "Really?"

"Yes, I'll bring you your favorite as long as you don't cause any trouble while I'm away."

"I won't! I promise!" I know I should be more shameful, that I shouldn't be begging this man for anything but is literally the light in my life right now and I'm tired to being in the dark.

"Okay," I see a small smile on his face as he turns away, "Be good."

"I will."

————————-

Only one of us keeps our promise. I wait, confused on whether time is passing this slow or if he forgot about me, both are likely. Against my better judgement I sue this time to think about what I could have done wrong to make him so mad that he would just storm off, it must have been something. Maybe I'm too much. I was pretty vicious in the beginning, I didn't want to listen and complained a lot, now he's just going to leave me here. I kind of deserve it after all of that. I mean I tried to run away after all he did for me. New clothes, good food, and a bath, I really need all of that. I'm going to need it again if I'm ever let out, if he ever comes back.

Throughout my life there have been a lot of people who have left me so I don't know why I have this burning feeling in my chest when it comes to Homelander. My parents were okay when I was growing up, well at first at least. Mom left first, she found someone that made her feel the way my dad couldn't, that's what she told me on her way out the door with her duffle bag in hand. Her leaving didn't hurt at first. Telling my dad is what made it feel real. Explaining where she went when dad got home went as well as a person could expect. He called me a liar at first, followed by a few other slurs that I don't even like repeating in my own mind. But when she didn't come back he realized I was telling the truth.

I wasn't mad she didn't take me with her until dad started drinking. The first year wasn’t bad, a few bad decisions for him here and there. The following two years are what made my childhood hell. He was the carbon copy of those drunk dads you see in TV shows, stumbling around and knocking everything over. If I was lucky I would find him at the table with the bottle still in his hand, the smell of cheap whiskey in the air. If I wasn't lucky, I was in trouble.

I was snacking on some saltine cracker packets I took from school. Dad didn't go the grocery store anymore so school was the only place that fed me at all. It was getting close to my bed time, not that anyone was actually going to enforce it, keeping my schedule from before mom left was the only thing that kept me sane. Bed was at nine, it was 8:30 when I heard the tell tale sign of heavy foot steps on the stairs.

How is he still awake? The man had been drunk since I snuck in after school, he would usually be passed out by now. It was one of those bad nights. I scrambled off my bed to the window and barely managed to get the thing open before my door hand began rattling.

Fuck!

The lock couldn’t hold him back forever. The drop to the ground from my second story window is too far for my body to brace without something to cushion the landing. I rush to the closet, yanking the door open and closing it as quietly as possible. I’m settled in the corner of the closet by the time he managed to get the door open. His foot steps stumbled in, cursing up a storm.

“Where the fuck is that little bitch?” He would scream as he ransacked my private space. “Come out here!” Dad’s feet shuffled across the room, “She fucking ran away again! That ungrateful bitch!”

I trembled there, crouched in the closet nothing but my arms around me to offer comfort. My few clothes hanging there were still swaying from my entrance, brushing the tip of my bun. I just needed to be quiet, I should have done better, I should have jumped out that window. Better dead on the sidewalk than waiting for him to find me.

His stomping got closer until he’s standing on the other side of the door. His boots casted shadows under the door. The door is tugged open, his silhouette in the doorway.

“Found you.” A hand tangled in my hair, yanking me out of the closet and holds me on my knees. I screamed, gripping his hands, attempting and failing to pry the man off of me. "You trying to hide from me? You are such and ungrateful bitch! Just like your fucking mother! All I fucking do you you and this is how you repay me? You should be praising me for not leaving you like that bitch did!" He swung me around by my hair as he yells.

All I could do was cry. Broken apologize were tumbling out of the mouth but none of them were coherent. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"You aren't fucking sorry!"

"I am! Please, let me go, I'm so sorry! I'll be good! I'll be good!"

He scoffs, "You aren't good for anything!"

"Daddy! I'm sorry! Daddy!"

"Natasha!" I'm not being shaken anymore. I'm being held by two strong arms, a firm hand guiding my head to rest on a solid chest. If I thought his voice sounded heavenly, his hugs are from a whole another world. The last time I received such genuine affection was before mom left and even then I don't know if she truly meant it. His hand strokes my head, calming my crazy curls. "It's okay sweet girl. Daddy is right here, I've got you."

I should push away, this is what he has been waiting for, he did this to me. But I don't. I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself deeper into his embrace. He has got me. No one is going to get me in here. My dad can't get me anymore. This apartment is safe, this room is safe, with Homelander is the safest place I could possibly be.

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

I love your Homelander series and was wondering if you were planning on a part 6 🥺

Hi sweetie! I’m so happy that you like it! I am working on part 6 there’s just a lot going on right now that I am dealing with. I will update as soon as I can!💕

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

I would like to point out that I was right

I have seen one episode of Prodigal Son and I’m already half sure the sister is going to be a killer

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Your Savior is Here! Ch 5

Natasha POV

“No.”

I look from Homelander to the intern, the blushing nerd couldn’t look up from his nice shoes to even look in Homelander’s direction. Without missing a beat, I slowly work on my breakfast, just scrambled eggs and some strawberries. The intern has brought in our breakfast 20 minutes ago and some unwanted information along with it.

“As I remember, I was grounded. Being grounded means I’m not leaving my apartment unless absolutely necessary. Tell Madelyn to fuck off, okay?” Homelander snaps as he takes a step closer to the man.

“She says that if you don’t come to her, she’ll come to you.”

My brows are in my hairline as I look back to Homelander for his reaction to such a pathetic threat. He is not amused. Three more steps and he has the man cornered against the door.

“She wouldn’t fucking dare,” he is seething, chest puffed with pride. His eyes begin to glow that terrifying red.

I sigh, pitying the poor thing, “Can you please stop being so aggressive?”

It’s like a flip switches in his mind, he turns to look at where I am sitting at the counter, eyes soft and concerned. “Is something wrong sweet girl?”

“Kind of,” I grumble, “Are you going to make me eat all of my meals alone?”

“Oh my god, of course not, I just need to deal with that witch first.”

“Why don’t you just go see her and get it over with? She won’t stop sending him in here, so you might as well so this guy can stop interrupting us.” The hope on his face almost breaks my heart. I just need them out of here for five minutes so I can make a run for it, this Madelyn bitch is giving me a perfect out.

Homelander sighs, “Fine, I’ll be up there in 30 minutes. Now leave so we can enjoy the rest of our breakfast in peace.”

Kenneth, the intern, nods as he rushes out the door, something I’m aching to do but I can wait, only 30 more minutes. The blond god comes to the spot next to me, uncovering his pristine, white plate as he sits. Eggs and toast for him too, but he also gets bacon and sausage along with it. He begins eating it slowly, glancing up at me for a moment, then once again when he realizes I’m still staring at him, he stops.

“Is something wrong?”

“You have bacon.”

“I do.”

I give him my best pout, “Can I have some?”

He hums as he thinks, “Not today. We wouldn’t want to upset your stomach, you probably aren’t used to eating this much.”

“Okay,” I want to argue but I decide to hold my tongue. He’s in a good mood, I don’t want to fuck it up. I look back down at my breakfast, I work on my toast slowly, my stomach gurgles. It’s annoying how right he is.

“Such a good girl,” He coos, he strokes me head so lovingly I could almost forget that he’s a sociopath. “Do you want to try your chance at medicine again?”

“How about when you get back?”

“That’ll be perfect! Now eat your breakfast sweet girl.”

I obey, this could very well be my last meal for who knows how long. Homelander is watching me slightly less than yesterday, I can still feel his heated gaze but it’s not attempting to burn through me. This is the first time I’ve seen the god eat something, I was starting to think that he lived on nothing but praise and children’s tears but apparently not.

I finish first, he finishes moment after, “Come on.” He pulls me away from the counter, through the apartment to the bathroom where I find myself guided to the bathtub, “Sit.” He leaves me on the thick ledge of the bath as he goes into the closet.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” I wonder as if I actually plan on staying long enough for anything more than one last conversation.

There is the sound of shuffling clothes for a moment before Homelander steps out in his uniform, his hair the only thing left to fix. “I will go talk to the witch and then I will come back and spend the day with you again.”

“Sounds good,” I hum.

“Really?” He wonders as he snaps the last button of his suit.

I nod.

“That’s wonderful! Do you want to do anything specific?”

“Like what?”

“Whatever you want! We could watch a movie? We could just sit down and talk more, I have so many questions to ask you still!”

I nod again, ignoring the guilt building up in my stomach, “We could do both.”

He rushes over to me, his gloved hands cup my cheeks, “You are such a good girl.” We stay like that for a moment, his thumbs gently caress my skin, our eyes lock in a less intense stare down than yesterday’s. My eyes shift down, the red and gold collar of his uniform draws all my attention. I find myself tracing his form again, my finger follows the red seam of his suit. It zig zags from the middle of his chest to his left shoulder and down, down, down, I stop myself at the golden belt at his hips. He shudders, bringing my focus back to his face, his eyes are closed, he falling slightly back. “My good girl,” He nearly moans.

I pull my hand away, “You should be going. She’s probably waiting.”

His lips curl back in a silent growl, “That witch has to ruin everything.”

"Not everything," I interject, "She won't ruin the rest of the day." She's actually doing me a huge favor by getting you out of here, she'll be making my day if I can escape.

"You are right," He leans down a places a kiss on the crown of my head. "I'm going to go, once I get back we can enjoy the rest of our day."

"Can't wait."

With that done he takes me by the hand and leads me through the apartment to the front door. He turns me to, kiss the back of my hand and sighs, "Are you going to be okay while I'm gone? It should only take a few minutes. The door will be locked so no one will be getting in here, okay?"

I nod, "I'll be fine Homelander. It's only a few minutes."

He doesn't look as if he believes a single word out of my mouth but he doesn't have much of a choice, either leave me alone or bring me along to see that bitch that neither one of us seems to like. Part of me is curious about that woman, she seemed so confident talking down to him yesterday and genuinely surprised when he zoomed across the room to choke her out. What is their history? I quickly shake that question out of my head, it's none of my business. I'm going to be out of here in a few minutes and this whole situation will be a thing of the past.

Homelander gives me one more kiss on my forehead before finally leaving, the door latches shut behind him, I actually relax for the first time since I've been here. I turn on my heel and rush back into the bathroom to the closet. It's my first time actually being in here, it's as organized as I thought it would be. Built in shelves are stacked full of white t-shirts and grey sweatpants, there are drawers which I assume are full of underwear similar to what he lent me. To my right there are his suits, four neatly hung up but missing the accessory he is currently wearing, the belt. Grey sweatshirts are hung up neatly in a row next to it, this man really has no in between does he.

I grab a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt and quickly pull them on. For my feet all I can find is a drawer packed with white socks, guess shoes are out of the question. If I didn't already know better I would assume from just his closet that this man is a sociopath. I double up on the over sized socks and make my way back to the door just in time for the key pad to switch green. Without hesitation, I throw myself behind the couch, fuck me. I expect to hear Homelander's confidently striding in to catch me, for him to tell me this was a test and I failed it terribly. Instead, the unlatching of the door is followed by a weak knocking on the heavy wood.

"Hello? Miss?" A small voice calls out.

I peek out from behind the couch and almost scream with excitement at the sight of the same terrified intern from this morning.

"Miss?"

"Is he gone?" I question as I scramble towards the door.

He jumps back, "What?"

"Is Homelander gone?"

"Yes, that's why I came in, Ms. Stillwell wants you out of the building."

I scoff, that bitch really is helping me out today, "That's perfect cause I want to get out. Could you point me in the direction of the exit?"

"I'm supposed to escort you out."

"Whatever the fuck works! Lead the way, just make sure we don't run into the fucking asshole. Oh my fucking god it feels so good to cuss. Fuck, shit, bitch!" I shake the stress out of my shoulders, this is really happening, I'm getting out!

The man looks so uncomfortable but he nods and turns to lead me out of the apartment. The building is as sleek and modern as his apartment. His slow pace makes the anxiety in my chest tingle but I force myself to stay calm. He has no idea what he is doing, if I start acting suspicious he may start questioning, prolonging my time in this fucking place. Portraits line the halls, seven of them to be exact, each one stars a member of the Seven. Homelander's has me shuddering at the sight of it. We reach the elevator doors, he presses the button and we wait. I bounce on my toes as the elevator comes down from the higher floors. The elevator dings and the doors open.

Inside is a pretty blonde in white and gold, it's Starlight. She gives us a bright smile when she spots us, “Good morning.” The blonde seems as sweet as the media portrayals her but I’m not quick to buy it.

“Good morning,” the intern and I say in unison.

“Going down?” We nod. She takes a step backwards so there is plenty of room for all of us. As casually as possible we join her and awkwardly stare at the doors as they close. She clears her throat, “Where are you coming from?” I can’t tell whether her question is really because of where we came from or because of my attire, both could be a factor.

I look to my escort to give a proper response but he just fidgets under my stare, I roll my eyes, “We are coming from Homelander’s apartment.”

Her brows shoot up to her hair line, “What? What were you doing there?”

“I’m a friend of his,” I somewhat lie, “But I have an emergency at home and this young man is kind enough to escort me out.”

“Without shoes?”

Both of our eyes flash down to my bouncing feet, “I knew I forgot something! I must have been in such a rush that it slipped my mind.”

“Oh, do you need to go back up for them?”

“No!” I respond too quickly when I see her reaching for the button pannel, “I can just come back for them another time. I’m really in a rush.”

Her brow scrunches in confusion, she opens her mouth to question me when the elevator dings once again. Without waiting for the intern to move I rush forward, ready to be out of this fucking building. Instead of a busy lobby and my freedom, I find myself smacking into a familiar smelling, leather wall. I’m staring down at a pair of red boot, my forehead resting against a blue leather like material and my hands clenched right at my sides.

This can’t be happening.

I stumble back without even looking up at him, I shove the intern at him as I repeatedly jab at the lobby button until the door closes. Surprisingly, it actually closes without an issue. I grip the hand rail to keep myself from falling over, a hand on my shoulder makes me jump.

“Are you okay?” Starlight wonders.

Fuck, I forgot she is in here. “I’m fine, just surprised.”

“Don’t you know Homelander?”

I chuckle, “Yea but I was hopping to make it out without him seeing me.”

“Why?”

“He’s… um…” The elevator stops. “He’s a little possessive?” Metal screeches above us, “Fuck. Can’t he just race us to the lobby? Why does he need to pull this shit?”

“Is everything okay? What is going on?”

“He’s being fucking dramatic!” I snark, ignoring the way I tremble, I come to grips with the situation I’ve gotten myself into. I’m going to die. He is going to rip me limb from limb, the least I can do is die swearing. There is a soft thud on the ceiling, followed by the harsh click of some kind of latch and the screeching of old hinges.

Then I see him. He stares down at me from the escape hatch, covered in blood from god knows where, if didn’t know any better I would think he is sad. His head cocks to the side, lips slightly parted in a small frown, poor thing. His nostrils flare as he takes a few measured breaths before he joins us in the elevator. Starlight and I separate into opposite corners, of course he follows me, towering over me with his terrifying presence, yet he doesn’t say anything. We are only a foot a part, I crane my neck up to keep eye contact, refusing to submit to him again. A gloved hand comes reaches out to me. Even with a brave face I can’t help the way my body tenses at the small action.

“Whose blood is that?” Starlight questions with a tremble in her voice.

Homelander freezes, his head snaps in her direction, the sad look on his face is gone and replaced with one that is ready to murder. He turns on his heel and takes two confident strides to be in front of her, “What the fuck are you doing in here?” His terrifying smile reflects off the walls of the tin box. “Did Stillwell bring you in on this? Are you fucking stupid? As the leader of the Seven don’t you think it would be wise to not get on my bad side since you are so new to this? You are just asking to be sent back to whatever the hell you came from!”

She just stands there and takes it of course, the Homelander is screaming in her face, covered in blood, this is the stuff of nightmares. The blonde’s eyes are wide with fear, her mouth opens to defend herself but nothing comes out. He crowds in on her closer, forcing her to curl in on herself.

Fuck.

“She has nothing to do with this!” I snap with a rough tug on his cape. He doesn’t budge but he feels it, he looks at me both surprised and angry. Starlight peeks at me, her eyes pleading for me to stop. I ignore her, “You’re pissed at me, you don’t need to take it out on her.”

“Who did this than?” He asks, surprisingly calm.

“It was me and that intern and your fucking bitch of a boss. Be mad at us!”

He comes back to me, smirking at the sight of me being brave enough to still hold his cape like a god damn leash, “Oh sweet girl, I already dealt with that fucking bastard. I’ll deal with Stillwell another day, my main concern is getting you back home.”

“Home?”

“Of course. Now let me talk to little firelight or whatever for a minute then I can get you up stairs so we can have a talk about honesty.” He tries to turn his back on me, his eyes glowing their ominous red but with another tug of his cape he is back in my space, hand on either side of me, caging me against the wall.

“I said it was me. Deal with me.”

His eyes narrow for a moment, he looks from me to her and back again, “Did I miss something? Are you friends? Why do you care about what I do to her?”

I shake my head, “I just don’t want to wait around here for you. Are you going to take care of me or not?”

“Are you trying to piss me off?”

“I’m trying to get you to stop wasting time! If you want to do something, do it!”

He laughs, “Fine, lets go. Say goodbye to your friend.”

"Wait!" Starlight yells, the petite blonde stands as tall as she can with a sad attempt at a brave face. Her eyes glow like headlights. "I don't know what's going on but I'm just going to let you take her."

"Not going to let me?" Homelander raises his brows.

"It's fine," I bud in. "I'm going on my own. Just mind your own business."

"But-"

"You heard her," He gives her a smug grin, "Mind your own business before I make you. I can cut you down before you could do your little magic trick so don't think of trying it again, understand firefly?"

"Homelander," I tug on his cape again, fully earning his attention.

"Yes, sweet girl, come here, lets get you back home." His sweet, playful tone is unexpected but I try not to think about it too much. I step into his space and I am quickly scooped up into his arms, he doesn't waste a second before taking off into the elevator shaft to whatever floor his apartment is on. He rips the doors open with ease, he doesn't bother landing, just zooms through the halls without a care for anyone else's safety.

"You are gonna kill someone!" I point out with my arms wrapped securely around his neck. The god ignores me until we reach the door to his apartment, this is the only door he seems to have the mind to be gentle with. Once inside I’m placed on the ground, I stumble away from him, unsure of what he will do next.

He stares at me expectantly, “Are you going to explain yourself?”

“Explain myself?”

“Yes!” He takes a second stride towards me , looking softer than before, “Where the hell do you think you were going? Did they let you out? Did they make you leave? You can tell me if they threatened you! I won’t let them do anything to you!”

I can’t hold in my reaction. A laugh bubbles out of me, “You’re joking right? You really think they had to drag me out of here to get me out? The moment that door was opened I had that intern escorting me out. I went on my own.”

His jaw clenches.

“Speechless?” I hum, already knowing I’m dead. “I’m just being honest, you are the one who said honesty is the most important rule. You wouldn’t want me to lie, would you?”

“Why are you acting like this?” The god mumbles so softly, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to respond. “Things were so good this morning. Everything was going to be perfect.” His eyes snap up to meet mine, “Why are you doing this?”

I snap, “Because I don’t want to fucking be here! I know you have this fucked up delusion in your head that things would be sunshine and rainbows but that’s not how kidnapping works! I was fine where I was, I didn’t need anyone, especially you, to come save me! I don’t need you! I am just fine all by myself!”

His chest heaves as he stares at me. He takes a step in my direction, “You don’t need me? All by yourself? How can you say that?” Another step. “You just don’t know, you’ve never had someone take care of you, you poor girl. Don’t worry, I’ll fix this, it’s just going to take some tough love.”

“Why aren’t you listening? I will never want to be here!”

Before I can even register it he has a grip around my throat, forcing me across the apartment and up against the wall near the bed. His other hand slams against the panel of the wall I’m pressed into. I wait, my heart pounding out of my chest, for whatever is to come, torture, my death, anything. The panel beeps, a latch releases and the panel flys open, revealing a secret room. He doesn’t give me any time, he shoves me into the room sending me tumbling on my ass.

A cold metal floor catches me, “What the fuck?” I snarl at him, struggling to get on my feet.

“You think you are just fine on your own until you experience real loneliness. I’ll come back when you feel like being a good girl.”

The panel is slammed shut, plunging me into darkness. I rush to the door, scrambling for a job or something but I come up empty. “Homelander!” I scream, pounding on the door, “Let me out of here you sick fuck! Homelander!”

Nothing.

“You fucking asshole! Let me out!”

He can’t be serious, he’s just teasing me right, he wouldn’t actually leave me in here for that long, right? I take a deep breath as I slump to the floor, what the hell.

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

eve: *finds villanelle lurking in her house*

eve: oh, it’s just you. i was afraid it’s going to be a murderer.

villanelle:

eve:

villanelle:

eve: …oh.

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

The terrifying confidence I live for😂💕

The Boys (2019—)

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

The minute I saw that you post a new chapter I came quicker than The Flash. I'm happy that this chapter are less scary than the previous. Well I'm glad that we co back to Natash POV, and even more happy that Homelander haven't done anything more strange to her. Now I don't know what makes me more worried: Natash trying to run away and Homelander catching her or Stillwell doing something bad with her. AND I HAVE TO ASK, is Natasha starting to slowly warm up to Homelander?

I’m so happy that you saw it!! Be worried for her for a chapter or two more and then things should calm down🙃

Ehhhhh kind of??? She hasn’t really figured out the extent of his crazy yet so we will see!!

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Your Savior is Here! Ch 4

Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! Let me know if you like it in the comments!🥰

Natasha POV

It’s dark out before I know it. The afternoon hadn’t lagged as I was expecting it to, considering his grand tour consisted of just the apartment and not the entire Vaught building. My hope of escaping were dashed before they could even fully form into an outline of a plan. He continues to stare at me whenever he has the chance, his hand is always on me, making sure I don’t venture too far from him. Not that I could make it out the door without him catching me even if he was across the whole apartment. I’ve known this man for a evening and I’m quickly learning this super hero is nothing but a drama queen with a daddy complex.

I roll my eyes.

“What are you thinking about?”

I look over at him, he is laying next to me in bed once again, propped on his side so he can continue his staring. I roll onto my side to face him, he likes when I look at him when we are talking. “Is this really going to be for forever?”

“Why do you keep asking me this?” He scoffs.

“Because I like knowing the chances for my survival.”

Homelander sighs as he scoots closer to me, I let him, not that he would let me do anything else. He makes a point to take off his glove, his large hand comes to rest on my cheek, “I’m going to keep you forever.”

A part of me breaks at his heartfelt promise, I’m going to be stuck here for however long this psycho thinks my forever is. I need to get out of here but I can’t right now, he doesn’t trust me to be left alone for more than five minutes. I’m sure he was watching me those whole five minutes I was in the bath actually.

Fuck.

“Well,” I gulp, “if I’m going to be here forever, I should probably call you something other than The Homelander.”

His brows raise at that, “I guess I didn’t even think about that.”

I return the action, genuinely surprised he didn’t whip out Daddy right away. “Really?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed my sweet girl but I haven’t put much thought into any of this.”

Now that he mentions it, I see it. He has had that intern running in circles all day after rounds of questioning, finding out what I like and things a woman needs to live an easy life. He always seems so sure of himself, so confident, I never once doubted if he knew what he was doing. This son of a bitch is literally winging a hardcore daddy kink without even knowing what he is doing! I wonder if he even knows that he’s doing it?

Fuck!

He suddenly rolls off the bed, he is quick to jump to his feet, his eyes are looking down but I can see a pink hue growing across his cheeks. “I’ll think about it!” Is all he says as he rushes away towards the bathroom. “I’m taking a quick shower before bed. I’ll be out in a minute, you just stay in bed, okay?”

I just nod as he stomps around the bed to the bathroom, surprisingly closing the door behind him.

I was not expecting that.

The shower turns on. He is really doing this? Is he really trusting me that much already? Oh fuck, what if this is some kind of test to see if I can be left on my own for more than five seconds? I lay down flat on my back trying to figure out what I should do, should I run? This could be my only opportunity, he admitted he has no idea what he is doing, this could be a mistake on his part. A minute passes and the shower is still on. I need to do something at least! As quietly as possible, I slowly sit up in bed, thankful for the memory foam and lack of creaky springs. My feet make contact with the cool floor, I stay on my tip toes as I attempt to make it across the apartment without a noise. I’m manage to make it to the kitchen before I accidentally bump into one of the bar stools near the island, the metal bar meant as a foot rest clings against the dark wood of the island.

Fuck. Fuckidee. Fuck. Fuck.

A quick glance at the front door reminds me that it is locked. There’s no getting pass it without Homelander’s hand print. The shower is still on. Did he really not hear me? This is either a test or the luckiest day of my god damn life. I could test him myself, a quick way to see if he is even listening to me or if he is too deep in his own head in there. I find my way into the kitchen, I peek into a few cabinets for a glass and find one behind the third door to the left. With trembling hands I turn on the foist and watch as the water slowly fills the glass half way before I turn it off.

Nothing.

My eyes go to the door again, I could try it.

The thought passes through my mind as the light of the security pad on the door turns green the lock clicks. The luckiest day of my fucking life apparently.

A pair of black heels come in first, stomping into the silent room like a herd of elephants. An older woman with curled locks and a red dress come in next, a scowl on her slowly aging face. She scans the room, finding me staring at her with wide eyes, her brows raise as she scans me completely.

“I’m assuming these are for you?” She holds out a few more bags the intern must have gone out for, “I stopped Mr. Kenneth as he was panicking in the elevator to a floor he doesn’t have clearance to, to bring these things to The Homelander.”

I’m not sure what to say, “Shut up.”

“Excuse me?” She scoffs, “Where is Homelander?”

“Shut up!” I hiss quietly, I take a few quiet steps towards her, ready to charge the bitch and push her out of the way to make my escape but she has to fucking ruin it!

“Homelander!”

The shower turns off.

I take my steps back into the kitchen and take a big drink of water as the bathroom doors are ripped open. Homelander steps out with a cloud of steam and a towel wrapped around his waist. If I thought he looked crazy before I misspoke, now he looks insane. His hair isn’t neat, nothing about him is put together, he doesn’t even look like the same person.

“Get the fuck out,” he snarls softly.

The woman rolls her eyes, “Are you still upset that I asked you to go off the grid for awhile? You seem to be doing just fine on your first day off,” She eyes me distastefully.

It takes all of myself control to not snap back at the bitch.

“I was interested to see why you abducted one of the interns to run errands for you. I wasn’t expecting this,” The hag gestures to me again. “Did you at least take care of the junkie like I asked this morning?”

My automatic reaction is to glare at Homelander for talking about me with her before her words fully sink in. Take care of the junkie. She is the person to who told him to take care of me. This probably isn’t what she meant but that’s what this sociopath heard, this is her fault. I take a step closer to her to bash this glass against her head but Homelander is a head of me, he is across the room before either of us can realize it, pinning the bitch to the now closed door.

“I told you to get the fuck out,” His voice is just above a whisper but it’s still terrifying, I’m thankful it’s not directed at me.

The woman drops the bags as she attempts to pull his hand away, failing to even budge the strongest man in the world. “Homelander,” She gasps, “I’ll go, I’ll go.”

He pulls away just as quickly, she falls to the floor, gasping for air, “Then get off the floor and leave us alone.” Homelander reaches to the keypad next to the door, the lock clicks. She scrambles to her feet, leaving the bags on the floor and quickly slides out the door, slamming it hard behind her. There goes my luck. His eyes move to me next, softening the moment he finds me. It only takes four large strides for him to reach me, crowding me against the island, all naked and wet.

Both my hands are trembling as I hold my glass, allowing him to fully scan over me before his eyes come back to my face. His hands cup my cheeks, “It’s okay sweet girl, that terrible woman is gone now. Did she do anything to you? Say anything terrible?”

I just shake my head.

“I’m so sorry I left you alone. That woman will never be near you again, okay? What are you doing out of bed?”

I hold up my glass, “I was thirsty.”

“You should have told me.”

“You were in the shower, I didn’t want to bug you, I’m sorry,” I look down as if I actually feel guilty for my actions. He wants me to be a sad little girl, I can do that if it means I can get him to let me out of here.

“That’s my fault. You can always come to me! No matter what I’m doing. Here,” he sets down my glass and scoops me up. “Let’s get you back in bed.”

“It’s still early!” I point out as I attempt to scramble in his arms, his tight hold doesn’t give me much room to wiggle.

He chuckles, “You need rest. You had a very busy day.”

“But I want to talk!” The words are out of my mouth before I can even process it. Homelander stops in his tracks.

“You want to keep talking to me?”

I nod, “You never answered my question! And who was that woman? She seemed like a real-“ I cut myself off.

“She’s a bitch.”

“Good to know I’m still great at reading people. Who is she?”

“She is the psycho woman in charge of the Seven.”

I raise my brows at that, “She’s your boss and you almost choked her out? Aren’t you worried you are going to be in trouble?”

“No one is my boss,” Homelander informs me as he sets me down on the bed, making sure to tuck me in. He sits on the edge of the bed, leaning over me with a smug smile, “You are the only person I am worried about, especially with the bitch wandering around. I’ll have to make sure I get her security number off the door. I’ll worry about that tomorrow though. Right now I need to go get dressed and make sure you get a proper nights sleep.”

My eyes shift down, now realizing that he is indeed naked, his towel is still covering his modesty but that’s it. I have never seen more than this man’s bare hands, I don’t think much of the world has. His body is as amazing as I thought it would be, not that I put much thought into it, his arms flexed in his current position. Showing off his muscles, he really looks as if he could carry the world on his wide, well built shoulders. My hand comes up on its own, curious about two things, one, if he feels as strong as he looks, two, if he will actually let me touch him. The tips of my fingers graze over his collarbone to his shoulder, down his bicep to his forearm. I follow the veins of his forearm to the hand resting near my side.

He is trembling. My eyes flick up to find him staring down at me, “I never got my prize.”

“I thought you wanted it in the morning.”

“And waste my one for today? I would never be so wasteful. My prize now.”

“Am I the only one expected to have manners?”

“I’m sorry,” A grin spreads across his face, “Please, may I have my prize?”

I gulp, “I guess, go ahead,” I turn my head to give him my cheek. He surprises me with a chuckle, “What?”

“I want as kiss from you.”

Oh.

"From me? Why?"

"Because I won."

All I can do is nod, knowing that's the best answer I am going to get from him. I move to sit up but he refuses to move an inch, "I can't do it from here."

"I'll come to you," He does. He drops down on to his forearms, caging me in my spot. His fingers tangle in my stray curls spread out on the pillow, "I'm ready whenever you are."

I don't think I'd ever be ready, but I can't say that. This whole moment is so surreal, I am once again transported to a reality where we are just lovers enjoying a intimate moment. I find my fingers dancing across his skin for a second time, this time his face. His complexion is perfect, there are crows feet slowly forming by his eyes but even that has it's charms. My hands rest on either side of his irritatingly, handsome face, there is a small amount a scruff near his jawline, prickly against my palms. I gently guide his face to the left before craning my neck up to place a soft kiss on his cheek, he inhales sharply.

His arms suddenly fail him, dropping a solid slab of muscle on my chest, all of the air leaves my lungs. I feel his scruff rub against my neck as he readjusts himself on top of me. My arms are stretched out above my head, secure against the head board, our legs are tangled together, his towel lost on the floor. A sudden sense of panic washes over me, what the hell is he doing? I prepare myself to do anything and everything to get him off of me, but just as suddenly he stops, his face pressed against my throat.

"You don't need to be scared right now," He mumbles into my skin. "I just want to be close to you, just take a deep breath."

"I would be more comfortable if you were at least dressed."

"And I would be more comfortable if you weren't. This way we are even."

"I don't anything about this is even."

"What makes you say that?"

I scoff, "You are one of the most powerful people in the world."

"I am, and?"

"Are you looking for more compliments or an actual answer?"

His chest vibrates against my stomach, his chuckle is deep and annoyingly comforting, "I'll go with a actual answer for now, save the compliments for later."

"You said it yourself, you can break every bone in my body without even having to try. That's pretty scary."

"Is that the only thing you think I would use my powers for?"

“I mean fame and fortune first, causing me bodily harm second.”

He glares up at me, “I would never!”

I hold up our collapsed hands in response, ignoring the voice in my head telling me not to poke the bear. I expect him to lash out, to break another finger, or my arm, instead he shoves his face back into the crook of my neck.

“It’s time for bed.”

“Okay, can you please put some clothes on?”

“Only if you agree to let me hold you.”

Oh I get an option now?

I hold my tongue, I just nod. He takes a deep breath before finally pulling away. My eyes follow his movements without thinking, he’s standing there in all his naked glory.

Holy shit.

The rest of him as perfect as I expected, all toned and muscular, not a single scar on this God’s body. Hanging in between his strong thighs is his just as impressive length. I divert my eyes but not fast enough, he catches me staring, his chest puffs with pride when he notices my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“No need to be bashful Sweet girl,” Out of the corner of my eye I see him posing oh so elegantly. “You can look for as long as you would like.”

“No thank you.”

“Okay, you’ll change your mind.”

I scoff, “Not anytime soon.”

“I have all the time in the world.” With that he wandering into the bathroom, the door is left open wide, nothing hiding me from him this time.

“Don’t you work? Events, press meeting, and stuff like that?”

I hear him chuckling from the closet, “I do, why?”

“I’m just curious how someone like you could have any kind of free time.”

“Due to some problems I have the next few days off. After that I will be back to my busy schedule of saving the world.”

“What will happen to me then?”

He comes back out in an outfit matching my own, white t-shirt and briefs, though he fills it out much differently than I do. “You will be here, waiting so patiently for me to come home.”

“You’re going to leave me here, all by myself, all day?” I do my best to hide the hope I feel. I must do a good job, he climbs back in bed with me, lying next to me this time.

“Are you worried about being alone all day? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I come back in between meetings to check in on you, can’t have my sweet girl getting lonely.”

"I've been by myself a lot, I think I can manage."

Homelander sighs as he opens his arms to me expectantly, "We all think we handle loneliness well until suddenly we aren't." Without any other option I shuffle closer to the blond god, letting him move me where he likes once I'm within reach. We are in a similar position as we were this afternoon, my head on his chest, his arms securely around me, one hand drawing small circles on my back. As terrifying as this whole situation is, it feels nice.

"Well you are finding great ways to cope."

His laugh rumbles softly in his chest, "I couldn't agree more."

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

Hello, just came to wish you a Happy New Year 🤩🥰

Thank you love💕 happy new year to all of you too! Stay safe!🥰

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

the solo boys ,,like father like son

[this-is-where-i-put-my-dark-shit]

evey fanfic writer after seeing TROS