thisisallthehattersfault

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too much monogamy in fandom in general

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"A society that separates its lore masters from its horny posters will have its headcanons written by prudes and its erotic fanfic by fools."

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Sometimes I think I’m aro but for family dynamic. I see an interaction and nod and go “they are nemesis/mentor-mentee/best friends/co-conspirators in crime/desiring each other carnally” and nod my head about how good I am at understanding people and then I log on here and find the dominant interpretation is not that they’re evil advisors locked in a proxy war at ALL. I might be watching secret evil streams from a parallel universe where families have been banned, actually, and everyone else is watching a different scene I think.

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me whenever I see posts about how canon is shit and can be discarded

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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: One Piece (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Blamenco & Whitebeard, Blamenco & Fushichou Marco | Phoenix Marco Characters: Blamenco (One Piece), Shirohige | Whitebeard | Edward Newgate, Whitebeard Pirates, Original Characters, Fushichou Marco | Phoenix Marco Additional Tags: Aw man what the hell do I tag this as, Character Study, Minor Character Death, Blood and Gore, Shirohige Kaizoku-dan | Whitebeard Pirates, Good Parent Shirohige | Whitebeard | Edward Newgate, Original Character(s), Backstory, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, No beta we die like ace, Fantasy Creatures, weird one piece animals Series: Part 1 of If oda won't give the other Whitebeard Commanders backstories and personalities then by god I'll do it myself Summary:

“How would I know?” Blamenco asks. “If I had the devil in me, I mean. Wouldn’t there be signs?”

“You’ve got pockets made of skin growing on you, stupid,” Lana points out. “That’s not enough signs?”

Well. Maybe she’s got a point, but he’s not sure he’s sold just yet. “I’ve always had weird skin though,” Blamenco argues. “Always had folks telling me my skin meant there was something wrong with me, but I’m not sure that’s true. Not sure this devil stuff is true ‘neither. I sure don’t feel like a devil.”

“How would you know what a devil feels like?” Lana says, but she’s just being contrary.

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Having OCs is the best because all my headcanons for them are confirmed

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"I want old fandom culture back, but proshippers are disgusting, don't bring them into this" a real life TikTok post that I saw btw.

YOU CANNOT HAVE OLD FANDOM CULTURE BACK WITHOUT PROSHIPPING.

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Absolutely amazing how AO3 is a part of the internet that doesn't sneak in any ads and doesn't have an algorithm and doesn't watch you or record how much time you spend looking at each fic or whatever. It's just right there to use for free. Legend

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reverse gatekeeping. I am on my knees begging people to engage with the source material

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I'll admit my omegaverse worldbuilding is pretty hyper-specific, but

While my Alphas are much more aggressive than Omegas, Omegas are much more violent. When an Alpha would yell, an Omega would get physical. When an Alpha would maim or injure, an Omega will almost certainly kill.

This is because an Alpha's protective instinct makes them react to potential threats as if they were actual threats -- better to over-react than to overlook real danger -- which means a lot of Alpha aggression is just peacocking. Hell, alphas beat the crap out of each other as a bonding activity. It's nbd.

Omegas, as the ones who are generally having and rearing children, will not play those games. They have that insane hyper-aggressive protective mama bear thing going on, regardless of if they actually have children or not.

(Betas are typically the least aggressive of the three castes, but that comes with a fun little facet that if a Beta is choosing violence Obviously that means violence was the most logical and necessary reaction, and their entire pack will absolutely jump in, because if a Beta is beating your ass then Clearly That Means You Needed To Get Your Ass Beat)

I need people to understand that omegas are NOT helpless 😭😭

The whole omegaverse thing is a biological exaggeration of male and female stereotypes/standards, so sure, omegas are expected to be soft and sweet but damn, do they fight dirty. Alphas are all brute strength and punches and kicks, but omegas are scrappy and clever. The usual high school fight between girls, turned up even more vicious: hair pulling, scratching nails, knowing all the spots that’ll hurt like hell. Oh—and biting.

Sure, an alpha will probably overpower an omega in a 1v1 boxing match. No duh. But omegas will latch onto you and gouge your eyes out, rip the cartilage of your ears. Grab your head by your hair and bash it into the ground over and over and over again. Especially since they’re fast, and quick, and there is most certainly force behind agility. Besides, you think an omega would leave their alpha behind in a fight? They’re not diving for safety; they’re tag-teaming by ripping flesh from bone.

They are not helpless.

And of course, that’s talking outright physical fights. I’d like to think omegas have protected themselves from alphas in other ways, as women in real life have for millennia—support systems, omega-only safe havens, and when necessary, a little poison something-something to get away from an abusive alpha.

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when you're reading smut and that middle aged man has a little too much stamina

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a lot of stories treat romance like it makes the relationship between two characters self explanatory and to be honest it doesn’t

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Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar

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sad reality of the fanfic-to-published work economy is that the weirdest people are willing to do it. that's why there's now hundreds of shitty no plot cishet hate-to-love enemies-to-lovers books that are ex reylo fanfic. and it's not even good. that's because the people who wrote book-quality steve/bucky and kirk/spock fic are too normal to think to themselves "i should get this porn published". they're too busy working in local government offices

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God, God, the smell is so overpowering that Usopp almost can’t breathe — or maybe it’s the only reason he can breathe, rich thick heat-scent sliding down his throat and filling his lungs and making his head go all fuzzy. He’s been around heats before, his mom’s, and Kaya’s once before Merry chased him away, but for all the obvious reasons it’s never been like this. He doesn’t want to snuggle up to Zoro in his nest and cuddle, and he doesn’t really want to Perch for him either.

Usopp wants to fuck him. He wants to pump Zoro full of every aphrodisiac his body can offer, the pheromones in his spit and venom, his sweat, the oil he can already feel dampening the crotch of his overalls, his cum. He wants to wind Zoro up so tight he can’t do anything but stick his ass in the air and yowl for one of their alphas to knot him.

Luffy would go first. As Captain he’d get first claim at their omega. Usopp wants to put his head right up to where they’re knot-locked together and lick.

Hooooo boy. “Y’know actually I think I’m coming down with can’t-be-near-heats-disease I’m gonna go before I have some kind of allergic reaction it’s very serious—!”

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I know I’m not the first person to say this but fandom’s seeming need to shove any character dynamic into some kind of familial role (siblings, father-son, mother-daughter etc) increasingly feels just as stifling and dismissive of platonic love as making every relationship romantic does.

I dunno man do you view all of your close friends as siblings cause I sure don’t. and I definitely don’t think of them as parents

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Ao3 does not need an algorithm, you're just lazy

Ao3 does not need a 1-5 star rating system, you just want to bring down authors writing for FREE

Ao3 does not need automatic censorship, it is an archive, therefore anything can be posted

Writing or reading about something illegal does not mean the author nor the reader condones it, if that were true, you could never read a story involving anything negative

Purity culture is ruining fan culture and you all are fucking annoying