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Chapter XI - 13th June 2024

Solitude creeps into soul preceded by sudden rush of happiness. The despondent sky and a embittered soul. My uncertain future. Absurdity pervades every life there is. Man is destined to be alone. Nothing changes. Nothing ever changed. The night was solitude starless sky. The cloud overhead hangs as if unsent letters of past life. Life before me appears in parentheses, staring at me, mocking at my failure. I am at peace with my loses. The empty midnight street before my house awaits, embracing the loneliness of night. I stopped writing long ago. Despite my urgings, I lost my desire to write.

The morning that roused me was despondent as before. I was confronted with dilemma. And I was not able to cry, to release my grief. But I was condemned to keep my grief in me closed in my heart. To torment myself to the end. Like those cherished memories once brought solace and happiness into my heart have turned themselves into worst enemies of mine. Those memories challenged me, waged war in my mind and heart.

I am unhappy. I am utterly unhappy with my life.

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Chapter X - 25th May 2024

The day after the narrator’s birthday. A day devoid of melancholy and with sunny sky yet cloudy atmosphere. After a long battle with cold and sudden phlegmatic bouts the narrator has successfully came out strong. With the shots of antibiotics, it worked wonders.

Writing is a habit and an antidote to the soul that frees all other sadness hitherto had been confined into the heart. When one forgets to writes, he has to fight with his shortcomings in life. The narrator dearly missed this late night ritual of writing from which he had taken a short leave. Returning to writing, his soul is relieved of all its sorrows.

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Chapter IX - 19th May 2024

The mid noon emerges out of a gloomy warm day in May. Graphite city crowded with individuals of asphalt heart. Narrator’s hometown, a city without a name, is his birthplace without significance. People resides here with no faces and with morals of antiquity and corrupt.

The narrator despises this place with all his heart. It was his refuge and his only place to confide his sorrow and sadness. It has been years since he has left this place to travel to his only place where his heart is.

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Month of May is the month of love. Yet it can become desolate as much as any other normal day ruined at the end. It is the month of the narrator as he was born. Yet it is for him similar to a nightmare. Like a child woke up in the midnight shrieking at his loudest voice possible. The day is fast approaching. Like the gallows waiting for the convict to hang. Like the day of his birth smirking at him. The narrator is like others, exposed to life unshielded. To life he is bound.

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Chapter VIII - 9th May 2024

The long hiatus that severed the narrator from his day to day engaging with this story has not resulted in any radical change of his perspective.

However, the day of 9th May began somewhat similar to the other days of the month. Warm, phlegmatic, and a pinch of melancholiac, and recurrent stomach

Now at the day end, the narrator continues his story. Thunder and storm transformed the sunny day into a bleak cloudy evening, eventually the darkness of day leading finally into desolate night. Countless thoughts have surfaced in narrator’s mind. In the life of man, he finds himself alone and abandoned by his friends and loved ones. Such is a man’s life. Disconcerting it may sound. There begins the life of man, forlorn and independent. Ostracized and an outcast he sheds his ideals of walking together. But he will not let others walk alone. The narrator’s heart is torn between his ideals and philosophies. Severance of heart and mind slaughters tender bird inside. The narrator ponders over the meaninglessness of human relationships. They are made to be broken. All the relationships have hitherto been made by the individual will one day wither away like the smoke in the sky. So his existence will forever be forgotten. Curse of life is that it is dead. Dead is the mankind itself. Whatever is done by mankind through ages will be gone like nothing.

Mankind is dead. It is a dead planet. Individuals are only born to be dead. Death is the primary motivation of living. One day that death will come quietly. Awaiting for it, the individual has created skyscrapers of melancholy and relations of meaningless. But death is the only thing that drives them, rouses them from sleep, leads them to murder, to steal. Death is the biggest motivation of all. Individuals consuming grains of rice. One day he will eat for the last time. Death is poetic. As it comes and silences.

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Chapter VII - 4th May 2024

Break the shackles of morality made by those bygone folks. Tear them into infinite pieces, rip them apart, destroy the ideals of the past.

Sickened with phlegmatic cough feverish steps, the morning with the scorching sun, the narrator began his day. A prolonged day awaited to embrace him. Misled by health and life, the narrator questions life if worth living.

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Chapter VI - 3rd May 2024

A day or two have passed without ever scribbling a word or two in my place of refuge

The day of third May began like the other days, melancholic, breathlessly. The narrator was roused from unconscious sleep or slumber long forgotten. Meaningless of life makes itself present in the activities of individuals. Individual will has exceeded every force there is in this universe. But it has its own limitations or so-called restrictions. Authoritarianism, patriarchy, or the religion itself, are the bounds of will. The narrator’s nation-state is a place in the south of Asia where patriarchy goes hand in hand and religion is the word of the day. Women are mere instruments of the society. To make themselves free requires pledges that can hardly be taken. A complete annihilation of the morals of the existing society would be the first step. Followed by this, existence of religion needs to be exterminated. Like bugs in a house, religions are the bugs of society. Only then a clean slate of society would rise from the destruction of the previous.

These thoughts often occur to one in the early hours of the morning. The soul aches for revolution, to change radically one’s house. Seldom such changes occur. The day before me challenges me to attempt it, confronting me, the emptiness of meaning in life is the ultimate destruction of mankind’s ambition.

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Chapter V - 1st May 2024

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Chapter IV - 30th April 2024

The narrator woke up to find himself suffocated in breathlessness which was doing of the air-conditioner. As narrator is not accustomed to sleep in an air conditioned room.

A distasteful morning awaits for him everyday of this summer of ‘24. Physically narrator’s strength is not commendable. The weather just added fuel to the fire, it made things worse for the narrator. Previously, the narrator had this belief of eternal comfort can only be felt in Summer. But as the days go by, it is proven wrong. And to his surprise, the much loathed winter has become his favorite season

Well, the temperature of today went beyond limits. It was scorching 44 C. The city was burning.

The narrator has this peculiar habit of reading books. Although reading has become peculiar habit in this generation. A generation born out of technological womb is certainly not going to tolerate habits of the past. Habits of inferiority. Technology has certainly played a cruicial role in advancing mankind forth and to teach its members complicated aspects in simple terms. There is no alternative to science in this word. Science is the final word.

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Chapter III - 29th April 2024

Day began with a hope of a life with its everlasting happiness, overflowing every period of life. Such a poetic life if ever there were - would be millionth of light years ahead of mankind.

A thought like a blink of light in the sky, perhaps a supernovae or a comet, appears in narrator's mind. Sheer likelihood of existence cosmic foreigners is most possible in the vast among impossibilities of science and religion. Their lives if it were ever called "lives" would be the most wondrous ever discovered. In narrator's belief, the existence of mankind in this vast universe lends credibility to the probability of existence of other beings in the universe of the narrator.

It took hundreds of years to build connectivity among continents, to ethnics to ethnics, fraternity among nations; yet conflict is ever-present between countries. Cosmic fraternity is farfetched idea. Meeting them may never be fruitful as the scientists have long ago predicted. Despite all enigmas, it is fraternity that matter and must be built among living beings across the universe. As the saying goes everything is connected through quantum. Therefore, cosmic foreigners are our brothers and sisters.

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Chapter II - 28th April 2024

Essentially, it is the day which succeeded the previous day. The day the narrator has first penned this story.

Day began as it was supposed to begin; cold, phlegmatic and weakening. Scorching heat of April gradually devours whatever is left of a sweet morning of the day. The narrator developed shortness of breath and weakness of heart which is in a word - apathetic. And slowly, through evening, night fell. Night is the refuge of suppressed thoughts.

Tears released sadness which had hitherto been concealed

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The Beginning - 27th April 2024

Well, it is quite surprising that all of sudden this blog comes alive. Well, yes, it has come alive. Although it has been created a long long long time ago with the thought long forgotten. Now, in this moment, it has resurfaced with a purpose not actually found.

Here, it would be doing injustice if few words are not said about the narrator. Well, my introduction to the readers should better be confined as “the narrator”. And nothing else. Here, the narrator pens this blog of no importance. It is not expected that this utter trivial thing is ever read.

Day of the beginning: Prologue

The day has been quite tedious and physically exhausting. Strangely enough, I woke up from sleeplessness slumber from a bed which was not mine. It raises several questions such as existence of my own bed and so on and so forth. Well, let’s spare the details of unimportance.

The narrator then spent his day pondering and brooding over things of no significance. Intense headache persisted throughout the day and which led him to pop pill of an aspirin or two. And then the narrator went about his business which doesn’t require commutation. This all happened in the middle or perhaps the end of the scorching April of ‘24. This month, however, brings memories of tragic summer of ‘21, when the narrator among with billions of people of this Earth suffering from the deadly pandemic. The pandemic resulted in millions if not billions of deaths. For what! Ignorance and spite. Yes, it is the story of ignorance and spite that inbetween mankind is traversing. So are we! Geting back to where I was, describing my day, it was shitty! Rummaging over worries and fast approaching future deludes the vision of the present. The narrator writes all these at midnight of a ruined day. Words go on like the earth around the sun and the sun in the universe. Everything is mobile. Immobility is impossible. Yet, individuals take offense at mobility. Of advanced thinking, changing times and thought. Conservatism, tradition and religion are created to fight changing thoughts. It is a war of disabled.

Well, it is stupid of the narrator to think all of these at midnight. Once again the narrator has forgotten to recount his day which remained unfinished giving rise to a new day. A new chapter next day. Until then, au revoir!