thisismyangeryblog

[thisismyangeryblog]

The goal is not to meet neruotypical life milestones and ideas of independence. The goal is to have a life where you are happy and have the support you need.

[thisismyangeryblog]

I don't know who needs to hear this but experiencing muscle atrophy due to limited mobility is not a moral failing.

I used to despise myself when I noticed the muscles I worked so hard to maintain start to deteriorate after months of pain and mobility issues. "I should have worked harder. I should have pushed through the pain. I'm a terrible person for letting this happen." In reality, I was trying my best just to get through my days. And that's okay.

[thisismyangeryblog]

credit: Project LETS

[Image 1 is a quote from Allison Wilens stating, “A social worker asked, ‘But if police don’t respond to mental health crisis calls, how will we restrain patients who are resistant to treatment?’ You won’t.” Image 2 is a quote from Dr. Elyn Saks stating, “Some people still hold the view that restraints help psychiatric patients feel safe. I’ve never met a psychiatric patient who agreed.” Both images credited to Project LETS.]

[thisismyangeryblog]

I don't know how big the overlap is between "people who need to hear this" and "people who will actually read this" but look. I grew up in a conservative Christian family. I had to fight my parents for years about my gender identity.

I came out as nonbinary first because I thought, for some reason, that that would be more palatable to them than being "all the way trans." It was not. Instead I got "this is mental illness" and "I would understand if you just thought you were a man."

So you'd think they would be thrilled when I eventually came out as a trans man, right? Wrong! Then it was "You're too sensitive to be a man" and "We can't tell your tomboy cousin about this, it might give her ideas" and "You're just looking for unsolvable problems."

I was having my gender challenged and undermined on a regular basis for years, by the people I was supposed to be able to trust. I leaned hard into being capital-M Male, I hated my body, I hated my voice, and I could tell my own internalized transphobia was making me uncomfortable with nonbinary people and gender non-conforming trans men.

And you know what I did? I KEPT IT TO MYSELF. I didn't seek out nonbinary people's posts to harass them. I didn't tell other trans men they shouldn't wear makeup or dresses. I did what I needed to do to feel as okay as possible with MY OWN BODY and MY OWN GENDER EXPRESSION. I got away from my shitty family. I got on hormones. And that all sounds simple but it took time and effort and money, and biting my tongue to get what I needed from transphobic people who had resources that I lacked.

You know what happened almost as soon as I got away from my family, and started seeing the changes I'd most craved from HRT? I stopped identifying as male. It took me a long time to come to terms with, because I'd had to fight so hard for that label, but as soon as I didn't live with people I'd been conditioned to be dependent on and who kept trying to shove me into one specific box, and as soon as strangers stopped automatically associating me with the label that had been forced on me all my life, a whole world opened up.

I'm nonbinary. And I'm finally happy about it. And I'm not saying every trans person out there slinging anti-nonbinary rhetoric is really suppressing their own identity. I'm not saying most or even half of them are. But I can almost guarantee some of them are. And even the ones who aren't are alienating a huge chunk of their own community.

The cis gatekeepers you are trying so desperately to align yourself with do not respect you as a full human being. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you stop lashing out at other trans people, the less complicated it's going to be for you.

Think about why you're uncomfortable with nonbinary people, or gnc trans people, or people who aren't "dysphoric enough," etc etc. Why are you drawing these arbitrary lines in the sand?

Gender is an incredibly subjective experience and there is no point in trying to regulate how other people express theirs. As long as they're not appropriating someone else's culture, or leaning into misogyny to accentuate their maleness, etc. Nonbinary people are not your enemy.

[thisismyangeryblog]

We're just trying to live our lives. You of all people should understand that. It's infuriating and sad when I see non-cis people pulling this shit.

Whatever damage you think nonbinary people are doing to your reputation, you're wrong. People who are transphobic "because of nonbinary people" are lying, or you are lying to yourself about them. If they'd never encountered they/them or neopronouns in their entire life, they would still be transphobic. Their excuse would just be something else.

Trans people who dismiss nonbinary identity are basically saying "Gender is a social construct and therefore malleable enough to justify MY identity, but no one else's."

good morning to horror fans, fat bitches, people with psychosis, they/thems, people who can’t drive, trans women, witches, and single dads. the rest of you... you’re on your own

[thisismyangeryblog]

Disabled Person: *is happy go lucky, friendly, and sweet* Ableists: Ah a perpetual child. Unfit for this world. Doesn’t know how sad their life is. Poor thing. I sure hope that somebody is babysitting this clearly incapable wreck. Disabled Person: *is bitter, antisocial, and abrasive* Ableists: Prematurely aged by the suffering of their situation. Their life is a misery. They’ve known nothing but suffering and now they want to push everyone away. So sad. I feel so bad for whoever is caring for this Napoleon. 

Disabled Person: *is ambitious, career oriented, and serious* Ableists: An inspiration! Even though they should have just laid down and died, they decided to have a life instead! They’re handicapable! They do normal people things despite being so abnormal. Gosh I feel so empowered right now.

Disabled Person: *is contented, self care oriented, and easy going* Ableists: God they don’t even try. They’ve just accepted their fate and have resigned themself to never achieving anything. They’ll be a burden on their family forever. It’s so sad. What’s the point of being alive is you don’t do anything?

Disabled Person: *finds their symptoms frightening, painful, embarassing, or unpleasant* Ableists: We must save them! We must find a way to end disability forever! We must find a cure for everything! Their life is such a horrible misery. We should make sure that nobody is ever forced to be like them ever again.

Disabled Person: *likes being disabled* Ableists: They’re either lying or have a fetish.

[thisismyangeryblog]

[thisismyangeryblog]

[thisismyangeryblog]

Your periodic reminder that in people who have been subject to threats and punishment for having emotional responses or ‘inappropriate’ facial expressions, panic attacks look different.

They may look like the person has become calmer and less involved, dismissive, even. Some people become intensely subservient and silent. Some become catatonic.

Panic doesn’t always involve screaming, crying, and obvious signs of distress. It involves an extreme form of the person’s fear response – which can be altered by circumstance, ability, and what they’ve learnt to fear.

Which is to say, it’s not your place to decide someone isn’t having a panic attack, when they’ve told you that’s what’s happening.

[thisismyangeryblog]

[ID: Tweet from Anthony Oliveira @meakoopa “training as a historian teaches you quickly that to find the oppressor, just find who is most strenuously insisting everyone be POLITE”]

[thisismyangeryblog]

[thisismyangeryblog]

absence of a diagnosis does not guarantee the absence of an illness

[thisismyangeryblog]

IF YOU ARE UNMARRIED, DON'T HAVE KIDS, AND HATE YOUR PARENTS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HAVE A FUCKING WILL

this has been a public service announcement from your friendly neighborhood probate lawyer

[thisismyangeryblog]

psa! stop touching your blind and low vision acquaintances lol. we don't need you to stick out your elbow in our faces for us to grab onto. we don't need you to grab our hand and put it on a chair to know that it's there period people think that when you can't see very well you need to be guided completely. this is annoying and unhelpful and infantilizing period blind people are not big helpless babies

[thisismyangeryblog]

[thisismyangeryblog]

[thisismyangeryblog]

authority figures be like you are making my job hard on purpose by having needs i am required by law to accommodate for