thisisnotjuli

[thisisnotjuli]

MCC Smart Eco-Speedster Concept, 1993

[thisisnotjuli]

oh and when i was a year old, after i got my foot amputated my parents were pushing me around in a stroller at a street festival in miami and i was chewing on my foot or whatever and this street performer came up to us and was like “aw i bet that tastes good!!” and my dad was like “yeah look at what she did to the other one!!!!” and pulled back the blanket covering my left leg to show a stump with a huge scar on it and i’m pretty sure my dad terrified that poor man

[thisisnotjuli]

[thisisnotjuli]

It pisses me off when I see people draw dinosaur fursonas and they have huge fat tits. That's not a mammal. You do not love dinosaurs, but the idea of dinosaurs. Fuck you idiot. I'll kill you.

[thisisnotjuli]

when white ppl use the white emojis:

[thisisnotjuli]

The super bowl or whatever I'm not american

[thisisnotjuli]

i could fuck a thunderstorm if i really put my mind to it

[thisisnotjuli]

evil lich, bored, who finally reads over the dungeon trap blueprints they commissioned from an expert dungeon architect and finds that they installed a shitload of fetish scenario traps all over and summons them to their throne room for questioning

[thisisnotjuli]

Happy Pride Month! 🏳️‍⚧️

[thisisnotjuli]

I love Wikipedia subsections that are just absolutely unhinged out of context

Peak comedy right here

[thisisnotjuli]

guys did you know about this. if you've been crashing out & haven't eaten all day you are legally entitled to toast w/butter and it WILL cure you. guys. why did no one tell me about this

[thisisnotjuli]

i dont know why anyone else misses analog board games, but to me, it's because physical parts let me cheat. there's no moving pieces around when someone isnt looking in a chess app, no sneaking bonus pieces out of the graveyard in checkers, no double drawing cards in go fish.

i spent years developing those skills as a Professional Little Brother. what am i supposed to do now, go back to college? learn how to play games the right way? i mean, who gives a shit? the fun part was never the game, it was the Getting Away With It. or, you know, for the rest of my family, Catching The Bastard. now that was entertainment.

[thisisnotjuli]

fast and easy lesson on how niche animal testing studies turn into drink a glass of wine a day to prevent heart disease.

[thisisnotjuli]

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

[thisisnotjuli]

[thisisnotjuli]

things you DO NOT need to be a man

a dick

he/him pronouns

XY chromosomes

things you DO need to be a man

the swiftness of a coursing river

the force of a great typhoon

the strength of a raging fire

the mysteriousness of the dark side of the moon

^this post was brought to you by LGBT^

Let's

Get down to

Business

To defeat the huns

[thisisnotjuli]

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me