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you got it boss! *fucks up*
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Can you please just have an ounce of shrimpathy?
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was thinking about bear/bare
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I like how there’s a category of careers (cowboy, pirate, spy, princess) that have a very specific historical and political context that they get stripped of for the entertainment of children
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Alex Hirsch you will always be a legend to me
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Please. Help.
The girl I'm dating and I both think that we sleep on the left side of the bed. I'm coming to terms with the fact that she may be a psychopath and I don't know what's real anymore.
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dying in a horror movie bc the sound of me opening my dr pepper echoes across the field loud as fuck and i am located instantly
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well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?
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